


Diagnosing Love (Larry Stylinson)

by Lovelove363



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A Turtle Named Turtle, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autopsies, BDSM, Blood, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Bottom Niall, Breathplay, Cheating, DJ Malik, Daddy Kink, Dominant Louis Tomlinson, Drugs, Ed Sheeran is a slut, Fanfiction, First Time Topping, First Time for Everything Fest, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frotting, Gay Sex, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Medical, Nurse Zayn, Oral Sex, Pathologist Assistant Harry, Pathologist Assistant Louis, Pathologist Liam, Pathology - Freeform, Rimming, Smoking, Smut, Spanking, Submissive Harry Styles, Top Harry, Top Louis, Top Zayn, Voyeurism, kind of, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, they kind of share that really, too many tags, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:13:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 93,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelove363/pseuds/Lovelove363
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <img/><br/></p>
</div>Louis works as a Pathologist's Assistant (PA) at California Regional Hospital. He manages to separate his professional work life from his messy personal life. His best friends Liam and Zayn are there for him every step of the way. When Liam gets promoted to Pathologist, a new hire joins the CRH team: Harry Styles. He makes Louis look differently at life, as the two boys sort out their inner demons.<p> </p>
<p>Leave your thoughts in the comments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pathologist's Assistant: responsible for the gross examination and dissection of anatomic pathology specimens and the performance of postmortem examinations (autopsies).
> 
> Microtome: an instrument for cutting extremely thin sections of material for examination under a microscope. Used by a Medical Laboratory Technologist.

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go_

_Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?_

_When I'm losing my control, the city spins around_

_You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

 

Louis softly hums along to the music. He lowers his scalpel to Eileen Keat's chest with a steady hand, then slices a Y-shaped incision from each shoulder, curving under her breasts to meet mid-chest and stem down to her pubic region. He retraces the cuts to deepen them, allowing a little blood to begin dripping down her sides. Next he lifts the cut skin and runs the blade underneath to separate it from the underlaying tissue, and begins peeling it back. Muscle and bone become exposed. This was bliss for Louis. His mind was free from all outside thoughts. His entire existence was here and now. His hands move in a fluid fashion as he continues to open Eileen's body.

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_Oh, Oh-_

The music abruptly stops, pulling Louis out of his zone.

"Liam! You know my number one rule is to never touch my music!" Louis growls without turning his head. Liam was always turning off his damn music.

"Watch your attitude, as of Monday I'm the one making the rules around here." Liam replies smugly "Also, since this is our last day working as PA's, the least you could do is wait for me."

Louis scoffs. "Are you getting emotional on me now? Would you like me to hold you while you cut open her ribs?" At this point he has the skin peeled back from her entire torso down to her hips, and is carefully examining her intestines. He furrows his brow. "Does this look like a blockage to you? Crohn's maybe?"

Liam is fumbling trying to tie his face shield around his head. "Hold on man, I can never get this stupid thing on."

"No wonder, it goes face shield, _then_ gloves you idiot. Gloves are always last. How have you not figured that out by now? I'll never understand why they chose you for this promotion when you haven't even mastered PPE. I guess you won't need to wear any of this shit for your fancy desk job anyway." Louis rants.

"Aw Lou, I'm gonna miss spending time with you too." Liam smiles warmly at his best friend. "But I have some good news, I saw the new hire upstairs before I came down, he is cuuuute as a button!"

Louis laughs, "Really?" He is elbow deep in blood and guts now, using scissors to free Eileen's organs from her body. "How cute?" He can't help feeling a little excited. "What's his name? How old is he?"

"His name's Harry, he's 20, and as for his level of cuteness, why don't you go see for yourself? You've done most of the hard stuff, I can finish up." Liam reaches out his hand. Louis contemplates for a moment, then places the bloody scissors into Liam's clean glove.

"This works out, I'm planning on getting wasted before we even leave the house tonight." Louis removes his gloves, goggles, and gown, in that order, because unlike Liam he takes his job quite seriously, then tosses his soiled things into the hazard bin.

"Are you DJ-ing with Zayn again tonight?" Liam asks as he continues working on Eileen.

"Yeah buddy! Friday night, drinks flowin', joint lit, happy days!" This has been Louis' weekend routine since before he started working at California Regional Hospital, 2 years ago.

"Be safe man, see you Monday." Liam carefully removes the liver and places it into a large metal bowl.

"Bye boss!" Louis grins enthusiastically as he heads for the showers.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

For Louis, showering after an autopsy is like gently coming down from a high. Cutting into people puts him so at ease, so far away from his real problems and the real world, that it takes him to a whole new headspace. He always follows up with a hot shower, where he lets his muscles relax under the water pressure, and inhales the steam until everything comes back into focus.

However, with todays interruptions and the pressing matter of a "cute new hire" upstairs, Louis cuts it short. He uses his citrus scented body wash to quickly scrub himself from head to toe. Once he is rinsed and dried, he's pulls on his skinny black jeans and Black Sabbath t-shirt that he's had forever. He always packs his street clothes to change into after an autopsy, since he'd be heading home anyway. He's pleased that he had chosen his favourite outfit to meet the new hire for the first time.

————————

"Russell! Just the man I was looking for!" Louis walks across the Histology department like he owns the place because, well, he basically does.

"Louis! Just the man I was trying to avoid" Russell Tovey is the head of the Histology department. He was hired on before he had even passed his CSMLS exam back when he was 21. Now at 34, he was one with the microtome. His tissue blocks were always cut by lunch, allowing him to spend the rest of his shift chatting up the other employees.

Louis snickers while glancing around the room for someone new. "So, where is my protégé?"

"Ah yes, Harry, he just spilled Hematoxylin all over himself so I told him to find a fresh lab coat. He's actually been gone a little long though, wanna go see if he got lost?"

"Day one and already dirty and lost." Louis rolls his eyes. "This should be fun!" He walks out into the hallway, and heads to the lab coat room.

When he opens the door he sees a stranger with shoulder length curly brown hair, sitting on the wooden bench with his head in his hands.

His lab coat has a large purple stain on the front. Louis is caught off guard when the boy removes his hands from his face, revealing watery eyes. "Hey, uh, everything ok?" Louis offers a weak smile.

"Yeah, just so embarrassed, my first day and I've done so many things wrong." Harry blinks away the tears.

Louis loves how deep and husky Harry's voice is.

He recalls vividly how scary his first day at the lab had been. He'd clung to Liam like a lost puppy, asking him endless questions and making him perform all dissections for the entire first week. He relies on this memory to fuel his sympathy "Don't even worry about it, I hear you're going to be training with the coolest guy in the lab." He smirks and wiggles his eyebrows.

Harry finally takes in the man standing before him "Oh yeah? Who's that?" His eyes travel up and down Louis' body in a not so subtle fashion.

"Me. They call me Tommo. Actually scrap that, I _wish_ they called me Tommo. Name's Louis Tomlinson." He offers his hand.

Harry's eyebrows raise as he jumps to his feet "Oh shit- I mean...sorry, you didn't look like an employee so I didn't think...I'm Harry Styles."

Louis admires the stammering mess in front of him as they shake hands. Harry is _tall_ , perhaps almost 6 feet, he wonders what his body looks like under all those layers of clothing. "Better get that coat off, you shouldn't be inhaling Hematoxylin fumes." Louis begins unbuttoning Harry's lab coat while maintaining eye contact. Harry bites his bottom lip. His cheeks flush.

Louis secretly revels in the way he is making Harry react. When the final button is undone, he steps back and watches Harry peel off his coat.

And _Fuck._ He is incredibly fit. His heavily tattooed biceps flex as he crumples up the coat, then stuffs it into the overflowing bin.

_Cute as a button?_ More like _hot as hell_. Liam has never been a reliable source of information on guys. Never trust a straight man. 

Louis struggles to say something clever. When he comes up short he decides to go for confident instead. "Well, I'm done for the day, I can make Russell let you leave now too if you like. A whole day for orientation is definitely overkill. Your real first day starts on Monday, with me."

Harry looks like a child who has been offered candy by a stranger. "Uh I should probably stick it out, we're supposed to cover safety and... well, I'm kind of accident prone."

"Suit yourself." Louis opens the door, then turns back to face Harry "A friend and I are hitting up Revival tonight, you should come by for a drink, get to know your new mentor."

Harry pauses then slowly smiles, revealing his dimples. "Yeah ok, I'll try to stop by."

Louis is pleased. "See you then Harry."

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you really this self destructive? You start training this kid Monday, do you really expect him to respect you after seeing you wasted?" Zayn sits at Louis' kitchen table, rolling several joints.

"He's far from a kid, he's 20 I'll have you know, and perhaps he will respect me even more for being able to have such fun on the weekends." Louis busies himself by pulling two shot glasses out of the cupboard. He retrieves a bottle of Absolute vodka from the freezer where it had been chilling, and a jug of orange juice from the fridge, then brings it all to the table.

"You've got to be kidding me. The only thing you care about is getting into his pants." Zayn mutters just loud enough for Louis to hear, focusing on his work.

"Well that would be nice, wouldn't it?" Louis replies, feeling extra cocky tonight. He fills the shot glasses 3/4 of the way with vodka, then adds a splash of the orange juice to each.

"I'm makin 'em strong tonight Z, I want you so drunk that you agree to wingman for me tonight."

"You know I'm always here to support you Lou, even with your incredibly fucked up plans."

He finishes up the last joint, licking along the paper then sealing it closed with his thumbs.

Louis leans forward and places a quick kiss on Zayn's temple. "I know love, thats why you're secretly my favourite."

"Speaking of which, is Liam coming out tonight?" Zayn tries not to blush from the kiss, he raises his shot glass.

"What do you think?" Louis brings his glass to meet Zayn's for a cheers, then both boys down their shots. "Ever since he found out about the Pathologist position, he's been nothing but _responsible_." He pours two more shots.

"I'll always wonder where he gets the strength to turn you down." Zayn shakes his head. He has always had a soft side for Louis, and despite his better judgement, has never been able to deny him anything he asks for.

"Shush pet, we have more drinking to do. I want to be proper annihilated tonight."

The boys continue doing shots until the bottle is gone.

They collect their phones and wallets, then walk out into the warm California night. Louis's house is conveniently located only a few blocks away from the club where they DJ.

"Do you think he will come though?" Louis pulls a lighter out of his pocket and offers it to Zayn.

"Didn't we already establish that Liam is too smart for these weekend binges?" Zayn accepts the lighter and places a joint in his mouth to light it.

"Not that boring cunt, I'm talking about Harry."

Zayn takes a long hit then passes the joint to Louis "Dunno mate, guess we will have to wait and see."

As they pass back and forth, Louis' one track mind continues to contemplate his chances of seeing Harry tonight. He said he would try to show up. Not the most promising response, but he certainly did seem interested. Louis glances at his watch, easily visible beneath the array of street lights generously illuminating the street. It was only 11:45, still early. He and Zayn had been given free range to DJ basically whenever they cared to show up.

They arrive at Revival, and Zayn begins setting up their equipment at the DJ booth. The owner of the club is nice enough to let them leave their stuff there each week, so that they don't have to lug it back and forth. Louis heads to the bar to get more drinks. He orders four screwdrivers then surveys the crowds while he waits. It's decently busy. He scans around looking for a curly brown head, but to no avail. The bartender hands him the drinks. "You look like you're up to no good tonight Mr. Tomlinson." Louis just winks.

He tries not to spill as he makes his way through the crowd to join Zayn, who has just started their set. "Revival let me hear you scream!" The bar goes wild "I'm DJ Malik, and I'm here to make sure you have a good time tonight" He starts playing Flo Rida's 'My House'. Louis decides to let Zayn take the reins tonight, declining several offers to step in. The crowd continues to rave as Zayn plays song after song, mixing smoothly like the expert he is. As time passes, Louis ends up drinking all four drinks himself. He tries to enjoy his night, bobbing to the music beside his friend, but he can't stop obsessing over whether or not Harry will show up. From their vantage point in the booth, he can see the entire bar, so there is no way he can miss him.

An hour later, the song changes to a remix of Raqhav's 'Until the Sun Comes Up' , one of Louis' favourites. He's significantly drunk now; eyes closed, arms in the air, jumping to the music. He opens his eyes and is graced with the most beautiful sight: Harry entering the bar. He's wearing tight jeans and a loose white shirt. His curls bounce on his head as he looks around. Louis' stomach tightens and his palms start sweating. He jumps straight off the raised platform and rushes over with his arms in the air like he's waiting to catch a giant ball.

"Harreh!!" He squeals

"Tommo!" Harry returns, mimicking the enthusiasm and raised arm movements as he makes his way over.

Louis lunges to span the gap between them, and pulls Harry into a hearty embrace, knocking him back slightly. He is overwhelmed by the earthy scent of sandalwood and lemon.

"Oooh Har' you smell niiiice" Louis purrs, dramatically inhaling the scent of his neck.

"Thanks" Harry giggles at Louis' forwardness. "I gotta tell you something, I'm already kinda drunk..I was too nervous to come here so I got drunk first." He admits into Louis' ear.

"Don't be nervous silly, you're in good hands now!" Louis finally releases the taller boy, and grabs both of his wrists. "Dance with me!"

He leads Harry to the crowded dance floor. Zayn's voice shouts over the music "This one goes out to everyone out there making horrible decisions tonight!"

Louis snorts in laughter. He backs himself up into Harry's body, arching his back so that his curvy bum is rubbing against Harry's crotch. He takes the lead, grinding in rhythmic circles to the music, reaching back to pull them closer together. He feels large hands cautiously grace his hips and it sends a shiver down his spine. He lets his head fall back against Harry's broad shoulder, and in return Harry wraps his long arms around Louis' body. "Fuck" Louis moans. This is heating up faster than expected, and he is is starting to feel his pants tighten around his growing erection.

"Harry, bathroom, come now!" He manages to say while pulling on Harry to follow him. Harry's eyes grow wide as he is lead through the crowd. Louis shoves the door open with all his force, slamming it against the bathroom wall. He does a quick stall check to confirm the vacancy, then returns his focus to Harry who is standing with his back against the counter, looking rather terrified.

"Harreh Styles" Louis slurs "You came 'ere tonight to see me! You wanna see me cause you want me don't you? Guess what Harrrreh, I want you too." He splays one hand across Harry's chest, and drags the other one down Harry's body towards the bulge in his pants. Harry watches this go down, and right as Louis' hand is about to graze his crotch, he yelps and ducks out of his touch.

Louis is very confused "Som'n wrong?"

Harry just looks at him like a deer in head lights. "I shouldn't have come here, I dunno what I was thinking. I gotta go." And with that, he flees the bathroom. Louis rushes out after him and tries to follow but a group of girls step into his path "Hey cutie! Wanna dance with us?" It takes all of Louis' will power to not barrel through them like bowling pins. "No! Move!" he demands. When they part he sees that Harry is gone.

~~~


	4. Chapter 4

 

"Fuck Fuck Shit Fuck!" Louis doesn't stop cursing until he has stomped back up to the DJ booth. "Zayn we're leaving, now." Zayn quickly wraps up his session then switches the music back to the radio, and they exit the bar.

"Lou what the hell happened?" Zayn demands once they are outside

"I fucked up Z, I fucked it all up. I brought him to the bathroom n' I got all excited and he ran away from me! He hates me now, I blew it!"

Zayn wraps his arm around Louis' waist to stop him from stumbling, and leads him down the street. "I won't say I told you so... but I think we both know I did."

"You didn't tell me he was gonna look at me like that Z. He looked at me so bad. He probably wont even show up Mon- hic!"

"Relax Lou babe, you've got the hiccups now, just breathe. Its gonna be ok, it always is. That is your magic power."

Zayn walks him home, then helps him upstairs and into the bedroom. He removes Louis' shirt and pants, then pulls back the covers and Louis scrambles into the bed.

He looks up at Zayn with hopeful eyes "Can you stay with me tonight?"

"No Lou, Liam will kill me if I keep doing this."

"Please? I won't try anything I promise."

Zayn new this was a lie. He knew because it had been a lie many times before. Any time Louis came home alone after a night of clubbing, he would beg Zayn to stay and it would lead to more. He also knew that no matter how hard he tried, he would not be able to deny Louis.

"Fine babe, move over." He strips out of his own clothes so that they're both in nothing but briefs, then climbs in next to Louis. He lies flat on his back, then gathers Louis into his arms, pulling his drunken friend's body onto his own. He lays Louis' head onto his chest then wraps his arms around him, and slides one of his hands up to stroke his messy hair. He hates how content it makes him feel to cuddle with Louis, how holding him this intimately causes his heart to beat faster, how his friend's scent intoxicates him.

As he tries to clear his mind, he hears small whimpers, and feels Louis start to rut against his thigh in small desperate movements. He closes his eyes and prays for the strength to ignore it and go to sleep, but Louis speaks up. 

"Z, I'm horny..." Zayn takes a deep breath. One last chance to pretend he's asleep. "Z? Can we...?" His self control was no where near strong enough for this.

He gives in, and moves his hands down Louis' muscular back, caressing every curve, feeling himself harden in his briefs. He places his hands firmly on Louis' hips, then pulls him onto himself so that their bodies are fully lined up. "C'mere then babe" Louis continues to grind his hips, now rubbing his hard member along Zayn's through their underwear, creating pleasureful friction. "Fuck Lou." Zayn gasps as he gives into the sensation. Louis repositions his head, pressing his forehead up into the pillow to expose his neck. Zayn wastes no time before bringing his lips to meet it, then begins tenderly sucking on the skin, leaving a wet trail of red marks.

Louis needs more friction. He sits up and pulls off his briefs, then does the same for Zayn. He aligns their dicks, then spits into his hand and wraps it around both of their members and begins stroking them both together. While Louis eagerly pumps away, Zayn reaches up to tilt his friend's face toward his "Look at me babe." Louis meets his gaze and they look into each others eyes as he continues to pleasure them both 

"I'm close love." "Me too Z, so close. So fucking close." He speeds up his hand, now furiously jerking them off "Fuck Lou, I'm gonna- ahh." They come simultaneously, both their loads pooling together on Zayn's chest. Louis collapses onto the bed beside him, breathing heavily like he just ran a marathon. Zayn reaches down and grabs his discarded shirt from the floor to wipe the jizz off of himself, then tosses it aside and rolls over to spoon Louis. He pulls his friends body close, holding him possessively. He knows that come morning, they will go back to behaving as just friends, and it will feel like someone punched him in the stomach all weekend. But for now, he has the boy he loves wrapped tightly in his arms. "Love you so much Lou." He whispers, but Louis is already asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Louis awakens Saturday morning with a piercing headache. It feels like someone is using a bone saw to split open his head. Groaning, he pulls out of Zayn's pleasantly warm embrace and sits up onto the edge of the bed. He runs his hands through his hair, grimacing when his fingers catch in the tacky hair paste he had used.

_Fuck me_.

"Wuh time 'sit?" Zayn mumbles into his pillow.

Louis retrieves his phone from the floor where he had apparently dropped it last night, and illuminates the screen. "S' only 8, keep sleeping. M' gonna have a smoke."

He grabs a pair of sweat pants from the top of his dirty clothes hamper and stumbles as he tries to hop into them while still walking across the room.

Trudging through the kitchen, he snatches his pack and lighter off the counter, then proceeds to the backyard where he collapses onto his porch swing.

Twenty minutes and three cigarettes later, Louis finally feels the throbbing in the back of his head subside. However, it is replaced by the pain of regret when his mind clears and he remembers just how badly last night ended. Harry's horrified face burns in his brain; the way his eyes widened with fear and disgust, right before he fled the bathroom. Louis winces at the memory.

_Ok, time for damage control_.

Pulling out his phone, he opens the Facebook App and types into the search bar: Harry Styles. He clicks the first profile, and there he is. Harry's face beams up at Louis from his profile picture. Louis experiences a familiar tightening feeling in his stomach. He lets his thumb hover over the message icon for a moment, but changes his mind and taps on _Add Friend_ instead.

Now that that's over with, he decides to do a little creeping. He opens up Harry's profile pictures, and begins thumbing through them. Harry smiling, Harry seated in a camping chair, Harry holding a turtle the size of his head, Harry at graduation, Harry kissing some guy, Harry- _wait what?_ Louis frantically flips back to the previous picture. Sure enough there's the boy he's been obsessing over; eyes closed, head tilted, lips locked with a big brawny man.

Louis retreats from the photos to return to the main profile. His stomach drops when he sees _In a relationship with Dan Feuerriegel_ in the info section. Somehow, Harry being in a relationship hadn't even crossed his mind on the realm of possibilities. Maybe he should have done a proper background check sooner. It had all just happened so fast. He tosses his phone to the side of the wooden swing, wanting to erase all memories of the last 24 hours from his mind.

The sliding door opens and Zayn picks up the discarded phone to join him on the swing.

"Everything alright?" he pulls one of Louis' cigarettes from the pack and lights it.  


"Look at my phone and tell me." Louis snips back.

Zayn unlocks the iPhone and gazes at it for a moment, then his eyebrows raise. "He has a boyfriend."

"Good eye Z." Louis tries to cover his hurt with snark, but Zayn sees through it, leaning in closer and throwing his arm around his friend's shoulder.

"Honestly though, it was his responsibility to tell you. It seems like he wanted to fool around behind this Dan guy's back then chickened out at the last minute."

Louis ponders for a minute then nods. "Yeah I guess that makes sense. This is on him, not me. I shouldn't feel guilty."

"Course you shouldn't." Zayn takes a long drag to finish his cigarette then hops off the swing. "I should get going though, I'm supposed to take my mom to the mall at 10." Zayn was quite the momma's boy. He spent most Saturdays with her, taking her shopping or to lunch.

Louis nods and takes his phone back. "Tell your mom I miss her." he winks.

Zayn laughs and tussles his friend's hair "Will do."

The rest of the weekend feels dull and mundane. Louis tries to keep busy playing Bioshock on his Xbox, but it feels like the colour has been drained from his life and he can't seem to get into the game. He checks his phone periodically, eyeing the Facebook icon each time for a notification, but it never comes. Feeling lazy, he orders a large pizza to serve as his meals for the next two days.

Sunday night he feels an ember of promise burning inside of him, knowing he will see Harry again soon. He tries to extinguish it, reminding himself over and over that he's being crazy. He has only known this guy for a few days, only spent a total of an hour in his company. Plus he has a boyfriend. Yet he can't quite put it out.

~~~


	6. Chapter 6

Louis stands over the break room table, meticulously arranging a matching set of coffees, muffins, hash browns, and bananas. He steps back to admire the spread, feeling chuffed. Monday meant work, and work meant confidence. When Harry strolls in, Louis greets him as if nothing had happened that weekend.

"Hello Mr. Styles, join me for breakfast will you?" He gestures at the food he has prepared.

Harry eyes the array laid out for him "Wow thanks, this is amazing! I was so rushed this morning I didn't eat breakfast."

"Snooze one too many times?" Louis muses, peeling the wrapper of his muffin.

"Uh yeah, snoozed too many times..." Harry replies looking oddly unsure of himself.

Thrown off by the strange reaction, Louis tries to change the subject. "Eat up my little apprentice, we have a lot to do today."

Harry digs into his breakfast. "So about Friday night..."

"Forget it happened. I already have." Louis lies.

"Ok right of course. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for hitting on you. I know you're not interested, I just had too much to drink." Harry keeps his eyes on the hash brown he's picking at.

Hitting on _me_? Louis is confused but decides to let it go. "Sure, don't worry about it."

——————————

They finish eating then head into the lab to begin the day. Louis is determined to put his little crush behind him, and goes into full teacher mode. He shows Harry the bench for gross dissection, getting into detail about the various tools and dyes they use to cut and mark the specimens. Harry has already learned all of this is in school, but lets Louis explain it all anyway.

By the time lunch rolls around, Louis' throat is dry from talking non-stop. Harry hasn't packed a lunch, so they head into the cafeteria. Louis takes a seat at a table near the window, and unwraps his leftover pizza, which he is incredibly sick of at this point. Harry returns with a tray in hand, placing a bottle of Sprite in front of Louis "For bringing me breakfast." He says sheepishly and begins eating his salad.

Louis thanks him and quenches his thirst. He decides its time for Harry to do some of the talking. "So tell me about your yourself."

"Hmm lets see, I used to live in Michigan, then I moved here. I wanted to be a doctor until I discovered Pathology. Then I wanted to be a Pathologist, but the school was way too expensive, so I decided to be an assistant."

Louis recalls the time and money Liam had invested in his schooling, it was outrageous. "My friend went through all that. 4 years of college for his bachelors, 4 years of medical school, and 4 years of residency. Then two years working as an assistant with me while he waited for the position to open up. Crazy."

"How old is your friend?" Harry asks

"Thirty one, pretty young for a Pathologist actually. He's the smartest guy I know though" Louis brags. "He still managed to pass his classes while partying with me on weekends."

"How old are you?" Harry asks much quieter.

"I'm twenty six, people sometimes think I'm younger cause of my baby face, and I guess I act a lot younger too sometimes..."

Realizing he was blabbering on again, Louis redirects the conversation back to Harry.

"Are you seeing anyone?" He hopes to sound nonchalant.

Harry takes a slow breath before answering. "Yeah I have a boyfriend."

"Whats he like?" Louis asks, genuinely interested

Harry makes the same face as when he was asked about snoozing his alarm. "Oh he's great, um his name's Dan and he's a firefighter, he lets me live with him."

" _Lets you_?"

"Oh, well no, that sounds bad doesn't it. I don't know why I said that."

"I see..." Something seems really off to Louis "How did you two meet?"

"Met him at a concert a year ago, he's the first guy I've dated."

Louis is amused by the phrasing. The _first_ guy he's dated. It seemed to hint at the idea of other guys in the future. Wow he is really overthinking it. _Get over it Louis_. And he really wants to, but the boy sitting across from him has the most enticing green eyes he's ever seen, and Louis feels like he could get quite lost in them.

"You dated girls before that?"

"Well kind of." Harry stares down at his salad.

Normally Louis would have no problem asking such personal questions of someone he barely knows. Sexuality was a favourite topic of his, and he wasn't bothered by people's awkwardness. But Harry seemed a little... _fragile_?

" I dated a girl back in high school." Louis offers "Her name was Hannah. I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough I could just be straight, turns out it doesn't work that way. She was nice enough but it just never felt quite right."

Harry looks into his eyes like he's trying to trust him, and nods a little "Yeah thats basically what happened to me too."

"Did you come out in high school as well then?" Louis picks at his untouched pizza.

"Well no..." Harry looks down, debating. "My mom always knew, her and I were close before I moved away. I told her about the crushes I had on boys when I was in middle school, and she always made sure I knew it was ok, she said no matter what anyone else told me in life, my feelings weren't wrong. Her support is what got me through a really tough high school experience. Nobody was gay at my high school. Well I guess technically one out of 10 people are gay so there were probably people hiding it. I didn't know I had to hide it, so I told a guy in my math class that I liked him and... it didn't end well."

"What happened?" Louis asks with wide eyes.

"He and a bunch of guys jumped me after school. They beat me up so bad I was hospitalized. They got in a ton of trouble of course, but it affected me for a long time. I didn't date anyone until Dan. So I guess my story is a little different than yours".

"Harry..." Louis doesn't know what to say. He wants to lunge across the table and hug him. "I'm sorry that happened to you, I wish I could personally punch all of those guys in the face. Anyone who has ever hurt you..." 

"I wish you had been there." Harry lets his guard down, feeling unnaturally at ease around Louis. "It would have been nice to have a friend. Someone who I could talk to about being gay. I felt very scared and alone, like I was the only one in the world going through it." 

"Kids can be such assholes. I hate homophobic jerks, there are studies you know, studies that prove that strongly homophobic men are sexually attracted to guys. I forget where I saw it but they hooked them up to a device that measured their boner or something and made them watch gay porn. All the homophobes got hard. So those guys probably had confusing feelings for you and didn't know how to deal with them. It's fucked up that our society breeds that kind of intolerance, where people are so afraid of their own desires that they lash out at others who exhibit the same ones. Like how we see our worst traits in others." Louis rants on. "We're lucky to live in California where people are pretty cool about it. I made a vow after high school to never hide my sexuality, hell, to _flaunt_ my sexuality whenever I please. Anyone who has a problem with it can go to hell." 

"You're pretty amazing, did you know that? I mean...you could do motivational speeches for high school kids. Let them know it gets better and all that. You're the embodiment of self assurance." Harry's voice is deep. He speaks slowly and carefully, pausing sometimes to contemplate his words before he says them. It is unbelievably sexy, and Louis thinks he could listen to him talk forever. 

"I guess I kind of had it easy, my best friend and I sort of discovered our sexualities together. He was the first guy I kissed, the first guy I slept with, first everything really. He's tough as hell too so anytime someone gave us a hard time about it he would kick their ass. He's basically my rock, my person, if that makes any sense. Everyone should have a person." Louis glances at his phone and realizes that the lunch break is almost over...

 _Shit_. He forgot to allow himself time for a cigarette. That has never happened before, not once in the two years he's worked here. Amazing.

————————

"Watch the lumen when you cut an aorta, you don't want to flatten it." Louis monitors as Harry carefully slices the artery. "Perfect! now place a few pieces in each cassette, thats how Russell prefers it."

The week has gone on smoothly. Harry is a very fast learner, and is already performing his own dissections.

"Really good Harry, I'm impressed!" Louis affirms, making his coworker beam. He was quick to notice the impact that compliments had on Harry, and has been showering him in them ever since.

As Harry continues to work, Louis feels a vibration in his pocket. He pulls off his gloves and checks his phone to see a text

 **Zayn** : This weekend is a go! I'll bring weed, you bring vodka, Liam's bringing beer, Niall's bringing snacks.

 **Louis** : Excellent, you reserved the cabin?

 **Zayn** : I thought that was a given lol

 **Louis** : Just making sure ;)

He pockets his phone and returns his focus to Harry, who is completely immersed in his work.

"Any plans for the long weekend?" Louis asks.

"Not really, Dan's off as well so we'll just be hanging around the house probably. What about you Tommo?"

Louis loves that Harry calls him that.

"A few friends and I are renting a cabin, its our yearly tradition. Just a typical boys weekend."

"That sounds really cool."

Louis considers inviting him, but last time he saw Harry outside of work it ended badly so...probably not a good plan.

 

~~~


	7. Chapter 7

The sun is already setting when the boys arrive at the cabin. Zayn connects his iPod to the surround sound so they can blast some music while unpacking their things in the kitchen.

Liam starts rapping along to the song. " _Talking money I don't really give a F, man. I got power like a motherfuckin' X-Man._ "

"Thats the man I know and love!" Louis places several bottles of vodka into the freezer then gives Liam's shoulders a quick squeeze.

"It has been way too damn long since we've all hung out together." Niall states. "I think we should make up for that tonight."

"We have more than enough booze and weed to get proper fucked all weekend. Probably all month actually." Zayn says proudly.

"But do we have enough food? That's something to think about." Niall says in a concerned tone.

"Fear not my glutinous friend." Louis assures him "Nobody will go hungry this weekend."

Niall hops up onto a bar stool and tears open a bag of Doritos "I love boys weekend! Thanks for organizing this year Zayn, you're the best."

"S' my pleasure. You really saved my ass on Friday so its the least I can do." Zayn moves his hands around the counter pretending to DJ to the music.

"What happened? Why don't I know about this?" Louis hops up onto the counter and crosses his arms "Nobody tells me anything anymore!"

"Zaynie fucked up hard" Liam mocks with a chuckle. "He collected the wrong patient's CBC but Niall somehow caught it like fuckin' superman before the results were released!"

Zayn worked as a nurse at CRH, while Niall worked in the Hematology department of their lab.

"Mr. Taylor's white blood cells had been stable all week, like in the 5-6 range. Then all of a sudden he's at 29 on Friday, obviously I noticed. It's really not a big deal, mistakes happen." Niall assures them, winking at Zayn.

"Enough work talk!" Louis interjects. "To the beach!"

Nobody moves. "C'mon man its dark" Liam protests. "Why can't we just drink here?"

"Because my good man, it's tradition!" Louis gathers some beers and a bottle of vodka into a cooler. "Don't make me drag you."

Liam laughs "But Louis, you're such a small bean."

"Aw give me a break, I'm big!" Louis flexes a little then grabs the cooler and takes off for the front door. "Lets go boys! The night is young!"

——————————————

The boys sit in a row on the sand, watching the waves come in and out as they pass a bottle of vodka back and forth, taking gulps like it's water.

"Remember the first time we all came here?" Niall asks dreamily "We'd just turned 19, well Liam was 24, and we all thought we had our lives sorted out."

"Zayn was gonna marry Perrie, remember?" Liam recalls "Back when he thought he loved girls."

"I _did_ love Perrie." Zayn objects "I loved her very much. I just couldn't completely _give_ myself to her. It hurt like hell when we ended things, I never thought I would recover from that. Maybe I still haven't."

"You sound sad babe, here. "Louis hands him the bottle. "Take two drinks this time." He lies down into the sand, using his folded sweater as a makeshift pillow. "I could totally sleep here, I'm so comfy."

"Thats how you get crabs Louis." Niall states.

"That is definitely not how you get crabs." Liam points out. "Trust me, I would know."

"Liam has crabs!?" Louis shrieks, jolting back up "Liam who gave you crabs!?"

"Actually..." Liam turns red. "I've kind of been seeing Cheryl for the last few months."

"Cheryl Cole? Our fucking manager?" Louis sputters "Literally nobody tells me anything!" He huffs and lays back down.

"She didn't want me to tell anyone, it's a little unprofessional. Don't take it personally Tommo."

"Don't call me Tommo! Only Harry can call me that now!" Louis blurts out without thinking.

"What? Why?" Niall takes the now empty bottle and starts absentmindedly filling it with sand.

"Because, I said so. That's why." Louis can't come up with anything better to say.

"Louis loves his little student." Zayn chirps, sounding more resentful than intended.

"Oooooh! Louis and Harry sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-"

"Shut up Niall you idiot! I'm definitely not kissing Harry, because Harry is kissing Dan, and Dan can kiss my ass." Louis rolls over and curls himself up in a ball to signify that he is done with this conversation.

"Sore subject?" Liam asks softly.

Zayn nods. "Little bit. Did you really get crabs though?"

Liam laughs "Yeah it was awful, don't tell anyone though. Also don't tell her I told you. Basically never speak of this again."

"We got your back." Niall assures him.

Louis starts snoring.

"Well the booze is out, Louis is out, shall we head back?" Liam stands and brushes the sand off of his pants.

Zayn scoops Louis' sleepy little body into his arms, and carries him bridal style as they head back to the house.

————————————

"Dibs on the bed!" Niall yells once they're in the living room, taking off for the bedroom.

"Dibs on sharing the bed!" Liam runs after him.

Zayn rolls his eyes as he gently lowers Louis onto the couch.

"You carried me the whole way!" Louis cheers, jumping up to celebrate.

"Louis are you kiddin' me mate, you were awake? Why didn't you just walk then?" Zayn sighs.

"Because I like it when you carry me." Louis states matter-of-factly. He reaches out his arms, signifying he wants to be carried again.

"You're an ass, you know that?" Zayn pulls his hoodie off over his head. "Why don't you change into your pjs, you can take the couch tonight I don't mind."

"You can take me tonight, I don't mind." Louis says seductively, yanking off his t-shirt.

"Definitely not babe. Don't even try."

"I love watching you take it off." Louis stands up off the couch and starts approaching.

Zayn has his belt unbuckled and is about to take off his jeans, but freezes.

"Take it off baby." Louis steps closer.

"You can't do this Lou, come on."

"You can come on me." Louis chuckles at his own joke, he is only a foot away now.

"Seriously babe..." Zayn whispers.

Louis reaches forward to slap Zayn's hands away from his jeans. He replaces them with his own and pulls the jeans down and off.

Zayn emits a small whimper, feeling his defences shatter.

"I can't wait to see it all, I'm so turned on." Louis whispers in his ear. His hands make their way up Zayn's torso, seemingly gentle, then push him aggressively against the wall.

 _Fuck it_. Zayn decides, letting the smaller boy take control. Louis begins kissing his neck roughly, nipping and licking his way down to his clavicle. He busies his hands, pulling off Zayn's briefs, letting his erection spring out. Louis drops to his knees and immediately takes his cock into his mouth and starts sucking Zayn off. He doesn't hold back. Zayn moans and throws his head back against the wall. He threads his hands into Louis' hair and latches on, then starts slowly thrusting back to fuck his mouth.

He looks down at the beautiful boy on his knees. Louis' lips are swollen and his cheeks are hallowed out, sucking as hard as he can. Zayn starts thrusting harder. It feels like he's destroying his friends mouth, but Louis is moaning as well, loving every moment of it.

"Louis you're so good." He whispers lewdly "I love fucking that sassy mouth of yours."

Louis hums in response, increasing Zayn's pleasure even more. He quickens his pace and adds a hand to cover what his mouth can't.

A few minutes later and Zayn can feel himself approach the edge. "Holy fuck, I'm gonna come, can I come in your mouth?" He pleas desperately.

"Mhmm" Louis replies. And Zayn's body tightens and shudders as he releases his load into the back of Louis' throat.

Louis swallows before pulling off and licking his lips. He then stands up and engages Zayn in a sloppy but hot french kiss.

"I can taste it on your mouth." Zayn mumbles against his friend's lips, enjoying the hell out of it.

"You're a freak like me." Louis replies. They continue kissing for a few moments, then Zayn grabs Louis by the thighs, pulling him up into his arms, and walks back over to the couch to lay him down.

"I wanna taste yours now." He pulls off Louis' pants and briefs, sits down between his legs, and starts kissing the insides of his thighs. He takes his time, placing his lips everywhere except Louis' cock.

"Zayn please." Louis starts thrusting up into the air. "I need it so bad, I'm so hard for you Zayn see?"

"Yes babe I see your beautiful cock, and I love when you beg for it."

"And I love begging for i-ahh" Louis becomes momentarily incoherent as Zayn finally takes him into his mouth, letting it go all the way in to the back of his throat.

"Oh my god Zayn yes." Louis stops thrusting. "You always make me feel so good, you give the best head I swear. Your talents were so wasted when you dated women. You should be given a damn award for this."

Zayn looks up at the friend he secretly loves, watching the faces he makes as Zayn wrecks his will to live. He loves the taste of Louis, especially when his salty precum starts to leak out. It's quite possible Zayn is enjoying this even more than Louis.

Louis snakes his fingers into Zayn's dark hair, making them both moan in pleasure. Zayn lets his mouth go slack and Louis takes the hint, bucking his hips upwards to thrust into his mouth again. Louis' cock hits the back of Zayn's throat repeatedly, but he has no gag reflex so he lets it happen. A mixture of saliva and precum leak out of his mouth and his eyes begin to water from the assault. He reaches down to his own member which is hard again, and begins jerking himself. It only takes a handful of strokes before he is spilling a second load, a few pathetic drops seep out of his slit onto his hand. He moans onto Louis. 

"So close, I'm gonna-" Louis gasps out, grabbing onto the couch with both hands and clenching his eyes shut. He moans out Zayn's name, thrusting one last time, then collapses onto the couch, pulling out of Zayn's mouth. Zayn swallows as he sits back, admiring the mess he's made of his friend.

He crawls up onto the couch and snuggles into Louis' neck. Louis pets Zayn's head, while Zayn gently caresses Louis' side with his fingertips. They take their time coming down from their orgasms.

"Lou we can't keep doing this." Zayn says softly.

"Why not?" Louis whispers

Zayn nestles further into Louis' neck. "I think you know why." 

"Tell me?" Louis turns to kiss his hair.

"It fucks with my head babe."

"I just fucked your head." Louis giggles.

Zayn knows this is not the time to have this conversation. 

He gets up to put on some pjs, handing over a second pair.

Louis takes the couch as agreed upon, letting his arm hang off the side, and Zayn lays beside him on the floor holding Louis' hand against his chest. They drift off into an easy sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Zayn wakes up to the sound of mumbling, and a heavy weight on his chest.

"Come back...please...don't leave me." Louis' soft voice begs.

Opening his eyes, Zayn sees a mess of fluffy brown hair directly in front of his face.

"Get off mate, you're gonna ruin my back." He gives Louis a light shake. "I gave you the couch Lou, why the hell did you sleep on top of me?"

Louis grunts and lifts himself up. "Dunno, just woke up like that."

"Did you have the nightmare love?" Zayn asks warily.

"Yeah, which is bullshit, I don't usually have it when I drink." Louis frowns. "Was I crying?"

Zayn shakes his head ."No, just talking in your sleep a little, the usual stuff."

"Right." Louis heads for the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Yeah sure." Zayn replies.

They prepare their coffee, grab their cigarettes and head outside.

Their cozy wooden cabin has a wrap around porch, beautifully crafted from mahogany. It looks out into the lush woods, providing a picturesque view of nature for the boys while they smoke and sip their coffees.

As they sit in silence, Zayn tries to muster the courage to mention last night's events. As an unspoken rule of their arrangement, they've never discussed their sexual escapades.

He thinks back to the first time they kissed. It was on this very porch, 7 years ago. 

_They were drunk off of a bottle of Smirnoff that Liam had provided, perched giddily on the bench. Liam and Niall had gone to bed hours ago, but teenage Louis and Zayn were still buzzing about how awesome it was to be out in the woods, away from the craziness of LA. Louis had finished the last few sips of vodka, then chucked the bottle as hard as he could into the woods. "Louis!" Zayn screeched. "You could hit a deer or something!" Louis turned to him with a mischievous grin. "You worry too much babe." And with that, he grabbed Zayn by the neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Zayn pulled back to protest. "Lou I'm dating Perrie." Louis ignored him and resumed mauling his friend's lips._

Zayn runs his thumb along his lower lip, lost in the memory of how they'd kissed for what felt like hours. Exploring each others mouths with their tongues, gripping each other so tightly they had bruises the next morning. Feeling things he had never felt before. He remembers the excitement of being 19, and never knowing when the next kiss would happen. Never knowing when Louis would climb into his bed, or pull him aside and sneak him around a corner for a brief make out session. He never knew when it was going to happen, but he was always willing.

When Louis started dating his first boyfriend, Zayn felt a world of hurt and confusion. He decided to stop liking guys altogether, and proposed to his girlfriend Perrie. It was like a knife to the stomach, knowing he was lying to himself, knowing he was sacrificing a part of his happiness.

Now 7 years later, he was still sacrificing. Giving Louis what he needed, and suffering because of it. As he continues to smoke, he debates how he should start the conversation.

"Hey Lou?" He proceeds cautiously.

"Yes Z?"

They're interrupted by Liam strolling out onto the porch, wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants, sitting dangerously low on his hips.

"Liam we can see your pubes!" Louis blurts out.

Liam steals a cigarette from their pack. "I guess I forgot to pack underwear." He mutters.

"Ew!" Louis scrunches his nose. "There's crabs in there!"

"It was four months ago bro, lets not make this an ongoing joke." Liam lights his cigarette and settles into the bench beside him.

"Cheryl fucking Cole though." Louis smiles and shakes his head. "How'd you manage that Liam? Get it? _Manage_? Cause she's a manager?"

Liam tries not to smile, but fails. "Hilarious. And I dunno, things started to heat up between us at work, then I asked her to dinner, and we just continued from there."

Niall waddles out holding a bag of Doritos, eating them by the handful. "Morning boys!"

"Breakfast of champions I see." Zayn teases. But when Niall holds out the bag to offer him some, he accepts.

"That's what I thought." Niall smirks. "Now, can we rent bikes today?" He is visibly excited, lifting up and down on his toes.

Liam hums for a moment, thinking. "We passed a rental place a few miles before we got here, we could go check it out."

"Yes!" Niall pumps his fists into the air, spilling a few chips, which he picks up off the ground and eats.

As they file back into the house, Niall whispers to Zayn. "I hid all of Liam's underwear."

————————————

It's after 2 in the afternoon by the time they all make it out of the house.

They pile into Liam's car, Niall bouncing a little in his seat. Ten minutes later, they pull up to a secluded shack, with a sign saying **Barca's Bike Hut** affixed to the roof. The boys proceed to a window, with the words "matapihi rīhi" on top."

Zayn rings the little bell on the counter, and two men appear. They both have dark tanned skin, black hair, warm smiles and kind eyes.

"Hello! Nau mai!" The man with longer hair greets them. "How can we help you boys today?"

"Good afternoon gentlemen." Liam says professionally. "Which one of you is Barca?"

"That's me." The long haired man replies, reaching out to shake his hand. "And this is Manu."

"Nice to meet you both. Is it too late to rent some bikes?" Liam asks while glancing around, not seeing any.

"It has been a very busy day, toku hoa." We only have three bikes left." Barca replies.

Manu chimes in. "But one of them is, hoki e rua."

"Sorry, what?" Liam asks.

The men disappear back into the shack, then reappear a moment later, walking three bikes; one of the which is tandem.

"Ah I see. Well we can make this work, who wants to ride with a buddy?" Liam looks at the other boys who are shaking their heads. "Rock paper scissors then?"

The boys put their fists in and on the count of three, reveal their choices. Liam and Niall choose rock, Louis and Zayn choose scissors.

"Guess that settles it then." Niall laughs.

"Fantastic." Louis snips sarcastically, taking the bike from Manu. "I get the front."

They put down their deposits, and peddle off into the warm Saturday breeze. It takes several minutes for Louis and Zayn to coordinate their two seater bike, but once they do, they discover it makes the work half as hard.

They head up the road for a while, enjoying the scent of pine and the sound of birds chirping. It is a perfect day for a bike ride.

Niall is as uninhibited as a child, squealing on about how this is the best day ever.

Zayn grins wildly from the back of his bike, feeling the contagious happiness spread throughout himself.

"Hey what's that up ahead?" Louis points to a pop of colour amongst the uniform green trees.

They peddle faster, until a bouncy house comes into view. As they approach, they see balloons, brightly coloured presents, tables of food, and at least 20 children running around.

They stop their bikes, remaining unseen, and contemplate their next move.

"I dare you guys to go jump in that castle." Louis eggs them on.

"We can't crash a child's birthday party." Zayn protests.

"I see a cake!" Niall shouts as he hops off his bike, letting it fall to the ground, then jogs towards the celebration.

"Damn it Niall." Liam curses, dismounting his bike. He picks up Niall's and begins walking the two bikes over to meet his friend.

Louis and Zayn follow suit, exchanging nervous glances.

 

 

The boys gather around a table of women, all four of whom are probably in their late thirties.

"So sorry for interrupting." Liam apologies, watching Niall salivate over the generous spread of food and drinks. "My friend here has no boundaries apparently."

One of the women stands up from the table. She has long blonde curly hair down to her waist. Her thin figure is drowning in a baggy, floor length dress.

She slowly walks over to a nervous Liam, eyeing him up and down, then surprises him with an enthusiastic hug.

"Fellow siblings of the earth, welcome!" She proceeds to envelop each boy in an equally warm embrace. "I'm Lexa, this is Calypso, Henna, and Moon."

Louis laughs. "Are those your real names?" Louis has no chill.

"Of course they are, what are yours?" Lexa says unfazed.

"I'm Louis, this is Zayn, Liam, and the one about to devour your child's cake is Niall."

"Have a piece Niall!" Lexa exclaims, grabbing the knife and cutting him a big slice. "What's mine is yours!"

Liam quickly interjects. "That's really too kind of you, but I think we've taken up enough of your day. We should really get going."

Louis feels a soft tug on the bottom his pant leg. He looks down to see a little boy, around four, peering up at him with curious eyes.

"Are you here for my party mister?"

Lexa scoops the little boy up into her arms "Caspar this is our new friend Louis! Would you like him to stay for your party?"

Caspar quickly nods his head, watching Louis intently.

"There's your formal invitation boys!" Lexa beams, setting her son back down.

Caspar takes Louis' hand and pulls him towards the bounce castle. "Come on Oo-ee!"

"Looks like Oo-ee's here to party!" Louis says with a huge grin as he follows the child.

Niall sits down between Henna and Moon, happily devouring the chocolate cake he's been given. "Thanks so much ladies! You're my new favourite people!"

Moon gently strokes his hair. "You're our favourite person Niall."

Liam is pulled away by two little girls in matching yellow dresses, singing about how they'd found a real live prince, leaving Zayn standing awkwardly by himself.

"Are you an artist by any chance?" Lexa asks him.

"Sorta, I like spray painting an' all that." Zayn replies awkwardly

"I brought a bunch of face paints for the kids, we tried using them but we're awful at it. You're welcome to use them if you like?"

Zayn perks up a little. "Yeah that'd be cool actually."

Lexa sets him up at a table with a plethora of brightly coloured face paints and different sized brushes. The children crowd around him, and Zayn asks them what they would like him to draw.

"Spiderman!"

"A Doggy!"

Zayn starts to really get into it, watching each child's face light up when they see his finished work in the hand mirror.

The twins return, still pulling Liam along. "Paint his face!"

"What would you like me to paint?" Zayn asks intrigued.

"A tiger!" "A Butterfly!" The girls say simultaneously.

Zayn smiles. "I'll try and do both."

Once he's successfully transformed all of the kids, and Liam, into the animal, or superhero of their choice, Zayn settles down beside Niall under a willow tree and watches Louis play with the kids.

Louis is truly in his element. He struts around, swinging his hips and waving his arms, while the kids follow behind him, copying his actions. "Simon says, hands on your head!" He calls out. "Simon says, jump up and down! Good, now touch your nose!" A few kids place their pudgy little fingers onto their faces. "Oops, I didn't say Simon says!"

"Awww!" Caspar pouts. Louis lifts him up into his arms. "It's alright birthday boy! You can be Simon now ok?"

Zayn feels very warm and fuzzy inside.

—————————————

"I still can't believe they let us play with their kids like that. They don't know us, we could have been pedophiles!" Liam says for what feels for the millionth time that evening.

The boys are sitting along the beach once again, watching the sun set over the water.

Niall scoffs. "We're obviously not pedophiles. Plus they were a bunch of earth loving hippie chicks. Their cake was the bomb though, so I give the party a 10/10, would crash again."

"What a way to spend the day, chasing a bunch of kids around." Louis says looking baffled.

Zayn eyes him from the side. "Don't act like you weren't having a good time, we saw you playing Simon says."

"Ok you caught me. But this is by far the most low key boys weekend we've ever had. Not very fitting for our 7 year anniversary. We need to do something crazy right now, before I turn into a crotchety old man." Louis declares before taking off towards the water. "Who's with me?"

Niall strips off his shirt and runs after him.

"Nope." Liam refuses. "My ass will stay dry tonight thank you."

Zayn leans back onto his hands. "You sure there tiger?"

"I forgot about my face." Liam says, rubbing his cheek with his thumb then examining the orange paint. "What a weird day."

"Definitely a weird day." Zayn agrees.

"Hey funny story mate, last night I got up to get a glass of water and guess what I saw." Liam looks pointedly at him.

"Yeah what? Oh..."

"What the hell is going on with you two?"

"Nothing, you know how Louis gets when he drinks. It's not hurting him."

"Is it hurting you?"

Zayn bites his lip for a moment. "Its my fault for letting it happen."

"So that's a yes, it is hurting you."

Zayn shrugs.

"Do you love him?" Liam challenges.

"Of course I do, we all do."

"Yes but, are you _in_ love with him?"

"I..."Zayn closes his eyes, feeling them water beneath his eyelids. "Maybe."

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"The last thing he needs is for me to fuck this up. He's been through enough already, if he needs this then I will do it for him."

"Its wonderful that you care so much about him, but you need to look out for yourself too."

"I can handle it."

"I worry about you Zayn."

"I'm a tough guy."

"Physically yes, but emotionally I'm not sure. It honestly pisses me off that he only thinks about himself."

"It's really not like that."

"What's it like then?"

Louis wails loudly from the water. "Zayn! Something bit me!"

Zayn jumps up and runs out to the water to help him.

Liam rolls his eyes. "That's what I figured."

——————————

Back at the cabin, Zayn evaluates Louis' foot and determines that it was probably cut on a sharp rock or a piece of glass. It's small enough to heal without stitches, so he bandages it up with gauze and duct tape, which is all they have.

Liam suggests that Louis sleeps in the bed with him "Because of his injured foot."

Zayn fishes through the closet and finds a blow up mattress. Once it's inflated he deems the hour it took worth it, as his back cannot take another night on the floor.

Since it's pretty wide, he and Niall decide to share it. They gather some quilts from the sofa and make a cozy nest.

Zayn collapse onto the mattress, lying on his stomach. "Oh yeah, this is much better than the floor."

"Not as good as the bed though." Niall ponders as he curls up beside him.

"How did Liam weasel his way into getting it two nights in a row?" Zayn wonders aloud. "My back is killing me from last night."

"I could give you a massage?" Niall offers.

Zayn considers, then turns him down. "Nah mate that's ok, I give rubbish massages."

Niall sits up. "I didn't ask you for one silly, I was offering."

"Yeah but then I'd have to give you one back, or it wouldn't be fair." Zayn explains.

Niall climbs over and straddles his back. "Shut up and let me melt your troubles away."

Zayn smiles into his pillow. "I did not consent to this." He considers protesting further, but Niall's hands are now massaging his lower back, and it feels incredible. "Holy shit Niall, you're not half bad."

Niall beams. "I've always been good with hands, I used to do woodwork with my dad growing up. We started building birdhouses, then we built a dollhouse for my sister, and when I was thirteen we built a treehouse in the backyard. It was awesome."

"You're dad must be very proud of you." Zayn affirms.

"He says he is." Niall continues to kneed and squeeze. "I always wanted to be just like him when I grew up. I'm nothing like him though, working in the lab and all."

"You may have a different job, but you did inherit all of his best qualities." Zayn pauses to exhale a soft moan as Niall roughly caresses the back of his neck. "You're a great guy Niall."

"Thank's man."

They continue in a comfortable silence, broken only by further sounds of pleasure from Zayn. Niall works his way up and down his back, until Zayn has basically melted into the mattress.

Niall dismounts back to his side of the mattress, and Zayn sits up to face him.

"Your turn, lay down." Zayn gestures to the bed. "It won't be half as good, but I'll try."

Niall takes Zayn's hands into his own and looks him in the eyes, their faces are very close together. "That was just for you, I did it because I wanted to. You don't owe me anything."

"Ok." Zayn whispers back, and they both lay down onto their stomachs. As he begins to drift off to sleep, he feels gentle fingers running up and down his back. He opens his eyes and sees Niall, still lying down with his eyes closed, his arm reached out, giving Zayn soft back tickles. 

Zayn closes his eyes again, thinking that this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him.


	9. Chapter 9

On Sunday they decide to stay in and play the big stack of board games Zayn found in the closet while mattress hunting. Louis makes tea, and they laze around the living room, besting each other in checkers and battleship.

Zayn points out that they really must be getting old.

"So Nialler, seeing anyone these days?" Liam asks.

"Nah, haven't been interested in anyone lately." Niall sips his tea.

Louis moves his checker to the opposite end of the board. "King me. You should ask out that cute MLA, what's her name, Kate? Kara? She probably likes you."

"It's Kalel, and there's no way she's into me." Niall stacks a piece on top of Louis'. "I'm no casanova like our friend over here." He nudges Liam. "Dating his manager."

"She's not my manager anymore." Liam reminds him.

"So how's the sex?" Louis asks casually. "Have you banged her at work?"

Liam turns red.

"Oh my god you have!" Zayn exclaims.

"I may have stepped into her office once or twice." Liam shrugs smugly.

Louis looks like he just won the lottery. "Liam you dirty slut! I'm impressed!"

"Loser of this game has to do the driving tomorrow." Liam changes the subject.

Louis feels his phone buzz. _All my friends are right here, who could this be?_ He wonders.

He sees a Facebook alert and opens the App. 

_Harry Styles has accepted your friend request._

————————

Harry opens the fridge and inspects the contents; a jar of pickles, a half eaten sandwich, and a bottle of soy sauce.

_Shit_. Harry thinks to himself, _I forgot to buy groceries_.

He contemplates whether or not he should risk making a trip to the store before Dan wakes up.

_If he notices I'm gone and didn't make him breakfast, he will be extra mad_.

He decides to make pancakes using water and Bisquick mix, then go shopping after.

Harry is flipping the last pancake when Dan lumbers into the kitchen.

"I don't smell coffee." He grumbles.

"Oh um, I was gonna make it when I finished these pancakes sorry, I'll start it now." Harry turns on their Keurig, and inserts a K-cup.

"You think I want your nasty ass pancakes?" Dan snarls. "You worthless piece of shit, look at me when I talk to you!" He grabs Harry's face and jerks it to the side. "I let you live here, because I am a nice guy. Don't forget that."

He releases Harry's face roughly. "You know I only do this cause I love you right ?" He reaches for the cupboard behind Harry's head, making Harry flinch. "Just getting some cereal, relax you freak." Dan pulls out the Cheerios and a bowl.

Harry watches in horror as Dan proceeds to open the fridge.

"Jesus Christ, you didn't get milk like I told you to!?" Dan looks at Harry with fuming rage.

"I...uh...I..."

"Stop stuttering you fucking moron!" Dan hurls the bowl right at Harry's face. It knocks him back into counter, splitting open his lip, and smashes onto the tile floor. Blood begins to flow down his chin.

"I'm getting Starbucks." Dan mutters, leaving the kitchen.

Harry removes a paper towel from the roll, balls it up and presses it against his bleeding lip.

He doesn't understand how things became this bad. When they first met, Dan had a temper, but it was nothing compared to now. The first time Dan hit Harry, he apologized for hours afterwards. The next time, he said it would never happen again. Now Dan basically used him as his punching bag, beating him whenever he pleased. Nothing was good enough to please him. Harry knew staying with Dan was wrong, but he honestly had nowhere else to go. His family lived in Michigan, he had no friends, and with his student loans being paid off, staying with Dan was his only possible living arrangement. He didn't know what to do. He was terrified that one of these days, Dan would actually kill him.

The bleeding on his lip slows, and Harry cleans up the mess on the floor. Once all of the broken ceramic and scattered cheerios are in the garbage, he sits at the counter and pulls out his phone. He opens Facebook, and looks up _Louis Tomlinson._

Harry smiles as he slowly flips through the photos. Louis is so stunning. His chiseled cheekbones, long eyelashes, and sea green eyes make him the perfect combination of cute and sexy. Harry imagines himself kissing his soft pink lips, caressing his cheeks, running his fingers through his feathery hair. He envisions Louis' scent; a mixture of orange and patchouli. 

Harry's lust is mixed with guilt. He knows he shouldn't be creeping his coworker's profile multiple times a day. He already feels bad about coming on to him at Revival the other night.

_You're an idiot Harry._ He tells himself. _A worthless idiot. Louis doesn't want you_.

Yet he feels desire pumping through his veins, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

Holding his breath, he presses "Accept friend."


	10. Chapter 10

 

"Gooood morning!" Louis greets Russell as he strolls into work Tuesday morning, feeling rejuvenated from the long weekend.

Russell brushes the paraffin buildup off the blade on his microtome. "What's got you in such a pleasant mood?"

"Just happy to be back with my favourite people!" Louis gives him a cheeky grin.

He heads into the specimen prep room, and begins setting up their bench for the day.

When Harry arrives at 8:20, Louis is about to point out that he is 20 minutes late, but freezes when he see's Harry's battered face.

"God Harry, What happened to your lip?"

"Oh um, it's nothing... I fell going up the stairs. Sorry for being so late today." Harry brushes his lip with shaking fingers.

Louis looks at him skeptically. "This might be out of line for me to ask, but is there something going on with you and Dan? Like did he... did he do that?"

"Dan Loves me." Harry says robotically.

"That's not really what I asked." Louis folds his arms.

Harry is surprised by how genuinely concerned Louis seems. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. I'm just clumsy."

Louis isn't convinced. He wants to help, but he doesn't know how. "Can I give you my phone number? Like for work, but also for outside of work... for whatever really. If you ever need to contact me."

"Yeah, that'd be great!" Harry gets out his phone and types in the number as Louis recites it.

Liam walks in wearing dress pants, a stylish button up shirt, and a tie. "Looks like Harry will be doing his first autopsy today!" He declares.

"Tell me Mr. Payne, who is this mystery victim?" Louis asks in his best James Bond voice.

"Well, Mr. Tomlinson, he is a 40 year old man, found dead in his home." Liam plays along.

"And what time should we be expecting his arrival?" Louis continues.

Liam looks at his watch. "Head down for 11, they're dropping him off later this morning."

"Is that a Rolex!?" Louis grab's for his wrist.

"Yes it is." Liam pulls away, dodging his grasp. "A special lady bought it for me."

"Bit of a late apology gift if you ask me." Louis taunts. "Four months late to be exact."

Liam glares at him. "Just stop talking before I fire your ass."

"Don't be so _crabby_." Louis appears delighted as Liam shakes his head and walks away.

————————————

At 10:45, Louis and Harry head down to the morgue. Whoever designed the place made no attempts to brighten it's depressing interior. The walls and floor are grey, everything else is chrome, and there is an unmistakable sense of death in the air. It is deadly quiet, and very eerie.

Louis brings Harry into the changing room and hands him a set of hospital scrubs. "You'll want to wear these, otherwise yours will get really dirty."

Harry accepts them, then disappears into the bathroom stall to change.

Louis strips down in the middle of the room, wondering why Harry is so shy about his body, as it is probably perfect.

After going over personal protective equipment- Louis' favourite topic- he watches Harry pull his long curls back into a bun. 

It looks _fucking hot._

Louis turns on the stereo, reducing the volume to a low decibel, then turns to face Harry.

"Alright, ready to see the body?"

"I think so."

They approach a wall consisting entirely of large drawers. Louis retrieves a key from his pocket, and unlocks the one labelled "Henry Wilson." He opens the door and pulls out the drawer, inside of which is a large black bag. He aligns the rolling cart with the drawer and rolls the body onto it, then pushes the cart over to the examining table.

Louis unzips the bag, revealing Henry's body, and pauses to let Harry adjust to the sight. It is a short stocky man with a buzz cut and several tribal tattoos. His eyes remain open, and his arms are stuck firmly at his side. 

"You ok Harry?" Louis checks in

"Yup.

"We need to transfer him to the table now. He looks pretty heavy so brace yourself."

They each grab an end and on Louis' count, swing the body over onto the table. Louis notices that it takes little effort on his part, meaning Harry took most of the weight. He tries not to think about Harry's biceps. _Focus Louis!_ He mentally berates himself.

He grabs the clipboard and records the man's tattoos and other body markings.

"Ok, would you like to start then?" Louis holds out the scalpel, mostly joking.

However Harry takes it, looking determined.

The next hour flies by. Harry is a fast learner, preferring a hands on approach. Louis can't get over how well he does. When they've finished sewing the body back together, they zip the bag back up and remove their soiled coverings. 

"You did amazing Harry! Can't believe that was your first time!"

Harry is still riding out the adrenaline rush. "That was the most intense thing I've ever done! I just sawed a man's skull open. This is the coolest job ever!"

Louis is buzzing too, but it's not his normal post-autopsy high. It's the feeling he gets from being around Harry. It feels like he could float away at any moment.

They reenter the locker room, and Louis pulls out two towels. "You can shower first."

"Do I have to?" Harry seems uncomfortable with the idea.

"No course not, it's just nice to wash the feeling of death off your body, plus you're still on the clock so you're getting paid to take a shower."

Harry pauses but then accepts the towel. "Yeah that makes sense."

Louis has lost track of how many times he and Liam have stripped freely in front of each other throughout their friendship (mainly in this locker room) without a care in the world. But with Harry, it is a completely different story.

There's no privacy, so Louis makes a big show of turning around to prove he isn't watching him undress. His heartbeat quickens a little, realizing that Harry will be wet and naked, only feet away. Water dripping from his curly hair, cascading down his toned abs...good God.

When the water finally shuts off, Harry pulls the towel in to cover his lower half, and Louis decides it's safe to look again. Before he can get a glimpse, Harry grabs his scrub top and pulls it on over his wet torso. Wet marks appear all over, but Harry doesn't seem to notice.

Louis wonders why he is so worried about Louis seeing him shirtless. _He must think I'm a real pervert._

Louis showers after him, ignoring his semi hard cock which is making him feel like a horny teenager.

As they leave and make their way back upstairs, Louis wonders if he will ever stop feeling this intense around Harry. He kind of hopes he doesn't.


	11. Chapter 11

 

That evening, Louis and Zayn are sitting on Louis' sofa playing Call of Duty, when Louis' phone chirps.

Not wanting to stop the game, he glances down, and sees that it's a text from an unknown number. His pace quickens, hoping that it's from Harry.

He tosses down his controller, and grabs his phone to read it.

"HELP"

"What's wrong?" Zayn pauses the game. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"I just got a text saying 'help' in all capitals from an unknown number. I think it's from Harry, he needs help, holy shit what if Dan did something?" Louis is practically hyperventilating.

"Calm down." Zayn instructs. "Try calling him."

Louis dials the number and it goes straight to Harry's voicemail. He tries again, and again, but gets the same result. "Ok let's go." He stands up.

"Go where? Do you even know where Harry lives?" Zayn asks.

"Shit, no I don't..." Louis thinks for a moment. "I've got a plan. You drive."

They jump in Louis' Chevy Cobalt and Zayn pulls out of the driveway. "Where am I going?"

"Just head towards downtown while I get his address." Louis dials Russell's number.

"Hey Louis what's up man?" Russell greets him.

"I need Harry's contact info, do you have it on you? Do you remember where he lives?" Louis says as quickly as he can.

"What?" Russell asks.

"When I started working there you made me fill out a bunch of forms and shit, I'm sure Harry did the same so tell me where he lives!" Louis demands.

Russell isn't new to Louis' antics, but this is on a new level. "Do you know how crazy you sound right now?"

"Yes and I'm gonna get even crazier if you don't give me his address in the next 10 seconds."

"Jesus ok, I shouldn't even be giving you this information, like legally this is so wrong, and you're really lucky because I normally wouldn't remember a random address but it's next to my mother-in-law's house and-"

"3...2...1..." Louis counts.

"67 Monument street. The little red house on the corner. I don't know what you're planning to do Louis but-" Russell is cut off as Louis ends the call.

"Monument street, hurry."

They arrive at the red townhouse and park across the street.

"Now what?" Zayn asks

"Now we go in." Louis exits the car.

Zayn begins pumping himself up, knowing that as the stronger of the two, any physical confrontation is mainly on him. "Do you have a plan Lou?"

"Nope, I'm gonna wing it. All I know is that we are not leaving without seeing Harry and making sure he is ok."

They get to the porch and Louis bangs his fist on the door until Dan answers looking crazed; eyes wide, fists clenched.

"We want to see Harry." Louis states plainly.

Dan snorts. "Fuck off, who even are you?"

Zayn notices spots of blood on the bottom of Dan's shirt. "HARRY!?" He shouts.

There is no response.

"Tell me where Harry is _now_ , or I am coming in." Louis keeps his voice calm.

"Turn yourselves around, and get into that piece of shit you call a car, before I kick your scrawny little ass." Dan replies.

"Guess he's coming in then." Zayn says, then shoves Dan backwards as hard as he can, knocking him onto his back.

Louis seizes the opportunity, running past them into the house.

"Harry?" He calls out, checking the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, getting more anxious by the second. He finally finds him in the bathroom, lying on the floor covered in blood, knocked unconscious.

"Harry oh my God, please wake up Harry, please!" Louis lifts Harry's limp body into his arms. The blood is coming from his nose and temple. "I'm here, I've got you, please wake up Harry we need to leave right now!"

Harry slowly opens his eyes. "Lou?" He whispers hoarsely. "You came."

Louis helps him up and supports his weight as they make their way out of the bathroom and down the hall. Harry does his best to walk with him, despite feeling out of it from being recently knocked out. 

They make it to the entrance of the house, where Zayn is grappling with Dan, trying to hold him back. "Go Lou, Hurry!"

Dan looks like he is about to explode from all of the rage building up inside of him. He thrashes at Zayn, managing to get a few punches in to his face, but Zayn gains the upper hand again and pushes him into the wall, slamming Dan's head hard enough to slow him down. Louis makes it out of the house and Zayn follows, scooping Harry into his arms and taking off in a run. "Start the car!"

Louis jumps into the driver's seat and ignites the engine while Zayn pulls Harry into the back seat. Dan is meters behind them, but Louis starts the car and slams his foot on the gas pedal, squeezing the tires as they drive off, leaving Dan defeated at the side of the road.

"How is everyone?" Louis asks, craning his neck to assess his friends.

"I'm fine, you ok Harry?" Zayn helps him get positioned in his seat.

"M' ok I think." Harry mumbles. "Zayn he hit you bad, your eye..."

Zayn shakes his head "I think he hit you harder babe. Can we take you to a hospital?"

"No! No hospital, please don't. You can drop me off somewhere if you need to, just not the hospital please." Harry begs.

"Ok no hospital. Zayn is a nurse so we can take you back to my place and assess you there, sound ok?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, your place, sounds perfect."

—————

They lead Harry into the bathroom, and sit him down onto the toilet seat. Always one to be prepared, Louis has a full first aid kit stored under the sink, complete with gauze, saline, hydrogen peroxide and medical tape.

Zayn cleans off some the blood and confirms that the major wound is located on Harry's temple. "It's really deep, you're going to need stitches." He determines.

"Are you sure? Can't you just bandage it up? I heal really fast." Harry protests.

"You should get examined for a concussion as well, why don't you want to go to the hospital?"

"I can't afford it." Harry admits sadly. "Last time I went to emerg for a broken wrist it cost me thousands."

"I can pay for you." Louis offers without hesitation.

Harry looks mortified. "No, absolutely not. I'm sure it will heal eventually."

"You should understand the body well enough to know that it won't." Zayn points out. "But maybe I can stitch you up here. Louis do you have a needle and some thread?"

"What do I look like, Martha fucking Stewart?" Louis projects his frustration onto Zayn. "Wait actually I might have some hold on."

Louis runs out of the room, then returns moments later with a miniature sewing kit. "Still had this from the Halloween we went as the Avengers.."

Zayn sanitizes the thread and needle in peroxide, then pours a little over the cut on Harry's head. Harry winces at the pain.

"It's gonna get a lot worse in a second, we don't have Novocaine or anything to numb the area. You might want to brace yourself." Zayn warns as he dries the thread.

Harry instinctively grabs Louis' hand. "I'm ready, I can take it."

Zayn begins stitching, and Harry doesn't complain once. He gently squeezes Louis' hand, careful not to crush it as it is much smaller than his own.

"You ok love?" Zayn asks as he ties off the end. "I'm all done now. You took that really well."

"Didn't hurt too bad." Harry says, not letting go of Louis' hand.

"I'm gonna ask you some questions now to see if you might have a concussion. Do you have a headache or feel pressure? Any nausea, dizziness, double vision, or ringing in your ears?"

"No to all." Harry shakes his head.

"Good." Zayn continues. "Now let's try some cognitive tests. Where do you work?"

Harry turns to smile at Louis "At California Regional Hospital, in the Pathology department with Louis."

"How many bones are in the human body?" Zayn asks.

"206." Harry states.

"You seem to be ok, but you should be monitored. Lou can he stay here tonight?" Zayn already knows the answer but figures he will make it known to Harry.

"Of course he can." Louis helps Harry up. "I have a spare room you can stay in, and I'll give you some clean clothes since yours are...you know, bloody."

"Thanks Tommo, you're too nice to me, seriously. I can walk fine now, you don't need to hold me up."

Louis lets go, looking embarrassed. "Yeah, right, sorry."

They go into the extra bedroom and Louis provides Harry with his longest pair of sweatpants and biggest hoodie. "You probably want some privacy then." He turns to leave, remembering how shy Harry had been in the showers.

"It's ok you can stay. I don't want to hide things from you anymore Louis." Harry pulls off his blood encrusted shirt.

Harry's torso is covered in tattoos and bruises. The tattoos are all black; a swallow on each clavicle, and a large butterfly below his chest. However the bruises add a pop of colour, as they are different shades of yellow, blue, purple and red. All in different stages of healing. It's beautiful and tragic, all at once.

Louis takes a slow step forwards, reaching out to touch the butterfly. His fingertips hover over it's wings for a few seconds, taking it all in, before he rapidly retracts them.

"I'll let you rest." He feels his eyes begin to water. "Let me know if you need anything."

Louis turns and leaves the room just in time before the tears start pouring down his face. He goes outside and finds Zayn already smoking on the porch swing.

"I don't understand how anyone could want to hurt him like that." Louis tries to choke back his tears.

"That Dan guy is an absolute waste of breath." Zayn takes quick drags from his cigarette, clearly a little shaken.

"He needs to pay for this, he can't just get away with it. You should see all the bruises on Harry, this must have gone on for ages." Louis leans over and Zayn reads his mind, feeding Louis his cigarette. "Thanks, fuck, I'm so pissed off right now."

"If you want I could...go back there sometime." Zayn offers quietly.

That _is_ what Louis wants, for Zayn to beat the living shit out of Dan, to give him multicoloured bruises to match Harry's, or worse. He knows Zayn means it too, all he has to do is say the word.

"Maybe...I'll see how Harry feels about it. It's not really my place to...get involved. He probably only texted me cause I was the first number in his phone or something." Louis accepts another drag, liking the way Zayn holds it for him.

"Your name starts with 'L', there's no chance you were the first contact on his list. He texted you for a reason Lou. He seems to really be drawn to you, be careful with him." Zayn urges. "You tend to be your own worst enemy sometimes, try not to."

Harry treads out onto the deck wearing Louis' visibly too small sweats, with the comforter draped around his body like a cape. "Mind if I join you? I'd rather not be alone right now."

Zayn tosses his cigarette and shifts over to make space. Harry sits between the two boys, wrapping the comforter around all three of them, and gently rests his head on Louis' shoulder while pulling Zayn in closer.

"Need anything?" Louis adjusts so Harry can lean into his body closer. "Water, more blankets, anything?"

"Just you." Harry replies, seeming very small. "Just wanna be close to you."

Louis is feeling many different emotions right now, and one of them is definitely affection for the boy now snuggled safely in his arms.

The three boys cuddle close, needing the contact, and eventually drift off to sleep. The last thing Louis hears that night is Harry's small voice. "Thanks for saving me."


	12. Chapter 12

Louis wakes up to the warmth of the sun on his face. He shields his eyes from the glare and looks down to find Harry snuggled up, head resting in his lap. Wondering how anyone could look so damn adorable, he gently brushes the curls from Harry's forehead, which reveals the sutured wound. 

"Harry?" Louis coaxes.

"Sleep forever." Harry mumbles against his thigh.

"Noo babe, you hit your head last night remember? More specifically, Dan hit your head last night..." Louis scowls at the memory. "We need to get you up."

"Call me babe again." Harry coos.

" _Baaabe_ , please get up so I know you're ok." Louis indulges him.

"Ok, in two minutes, I don't know the next time I'll get to be this close to your morning wood." Harry says coyly.

Louis' jaw drops and he shifts around in his seat. "Harold! Are you always this dirty in the mornings?"

"I gotta' dirty mouth." Harry nuzzles his nose into Louis' lap.

Satisfied with his friend's cognitive state, Louis averts his attention from his ever hardening groin by pulling out his phone to check his messages. 

**Zayn** : Thought I'd let you two sleep, I told Liam you won't be in today. Call me later.

"Good news, we have the day off!" Louis announces, pocketing his phone again.

Harry finally sits up. "We don't have to go in? Why?"

"Liam's got us covered today. How's your head?"

"It's a little sore, but I'm ok. You were making a lot of noises in your sleep last night, talking and... stuff."

Louis sighs. "Yeah I have nightmares a lot, almost every night. Always the same one. Hope I didn't keep you up."

"No you didn't." Harry looks at him eagerly, hoping for him to elaborate. "What is the nightmare about?"

Louis hesitates. He wants to open up to Harry, but this is a lot to unload on someone first thing in the morning. "I'll tell you another time. Right now I want to make you breakfast. " Louis gets up and gathers the comforter up into his arms.

Harry looks a little disappointed at first, but perks up again at the word 'breakfast.'

"I should be the one making _you_ breakfast, after all you did come and rescue me like my prince charming last night." Harry points out.

"Nonsense, I'm going to take care of you. Just relax your pretty head while I make you something delicious."

Louis prepares a heaping plate of homemade waffles, with chocolate syrup and strawberries on top. Harry watches him from the counter, looking mesmerized. "You're quite the chef, those look amazing!"

"I thought you'd be impressed." Louis smirks. He arranges two plates of chocolaty waffles, setting one in front of Harry and pulling up the stool beside him.

Harry digs in excitedly. "Mmm s'good! You make the best breakfasts!"

"Thanks! There's lots more so have as many as you want." Louis watches Harry cut off big bites and eagerly shove them into his mouth.

"So if you're comfortable with it, I was hoping we could talk a little about what happened last night? Like the part before I showed up?" Louis preposes.

Harry nods and slowly finishes chewing before he begins. "Dan came home from work yesterday evening, and I knew something had gone wrong at the station or on one of his calls because he was in a foul mood. He was throwing things around the kitchen, yelling and stuff. Work is usually what sets him off. Well besides me, I do that a lot too. I was trying to pick up after him and he started going off on me for getting in his way, then he just came at me and started punching me in the face.

It wasn't the first time he'd hit me, he's tossed me around a lot, broke some bones, but this time was different cause he wasn't stopping. He didn't look sorry, he looked like he was going to do it again and again until I was dead. I was scared so I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He went crazy and started slamming into it, which is when I texted you. Next thing I knew, he had broken the door down, and had taken my phone out of my hands. He looked at my phone and saw that I texted you, demanded to know who you were, but I wouldn't tell him. He really hates when I talk to other guys. I think that's when he slammed my head into the sink but it's kind of fuzzy."

Louis feels like he might vomit. "I'm going to kill Dan. I don't even care about the repercussions. That asshole doesn't get to just keep on living his life, he's gonna feel the same things you felt, the fear and the pain..." Louis is fuming,

Harry puts down his fork and places his hands on Louis' shoulders. "Please don't go after him. We can report it to the police or something, I'm sure he will deny it so that might be a waste of time, but don't go putting yourself in danger just because he pissed you off."

Louis jumps down from his stool and starts pacing angrily. "Pissed me off? No Harry, you don't understand. Do you have any idea how scared I was? When I got that text, when I found you unresponsive on the floor..." He grabs his head in frustration. "It felt like my world was shattering around me..." He realizes how intense that sounded. "I'm not trying to make this about me, I'm just saying that I care about you, and he has no right putting you through that shit for a year then getting off scot free." He is hyperventilating now. 

"Louis please stop and look at me." Harry intercepts his path. Louis stops pacing and Harry pulls him into his arms, pinning him tightly against his chest. "I am so lucky to have you in my life. I can't thank you enough for what you did last night."

Louis' senses are enveloped in all things Harry. His heartbeat, his familiar scent, his comforting voice. It begins to calms Louis down. Harry rubs small circles onto his back until his breathing returns to normal.

"I'm lucky to have you too." Louis says as they part.

"I should really thank Zayn as well, he's stronger than he looks! His poor eye though, oh and he was nice enough to stitch me up."

"Looks very professional." Louis adds. "Hey did you say the bathroom door was broken?" He doesn't recall seeing that.

"Yeah like, cracked in half. You didn't notice?"

"No, guess I was really focused on you. Can I ask you something?" They sit back down at the counter and Louis puts a fresh waffle on Harry's plate.

"Yes you can." Harry starts eating again.

"Why did you stay with Dan for so long? A year you dated that asshole...I don't understand it."

"I kind of backed myself into a wall when I graduated college back in Michigan. I had so much debt, and I couldn't find a job in my field. When Dan asked me to move in rent free, I jumped at the chance to move to LA and be with him. He supported me while I looked for a job, he paid for everything. When things took a turn with us I had nobody to rely on and no money to move out. Dan made it really hard for me to make friends, he struggles with jealousy and control issues. So I stayed and hoped it would get better. Anyways now that I've got the PA job I should be able to afford my own place. I'll start looking at apartment ads as soon as we're finished eating, I'm sure you want me out of your hair."

"Don't be silly, stay as long as you want. I have more than enough space and I enjoy your company." Louis assures him.

Harry shakes his head. "I'm not going to be someone's burden again, I need to be independent for once."

"Fine but just wait until tomorrow to start looking, deal?" Louis pushes away his empty plate.

"Deal." Harry agrees.

"Until then you are more than welcome to crash here."

"I promise I'll be out of here as soon as possible, but thank you for helping me out in the meantime." Harry gathers their plates and brings them to the sink.

Louis thinks to himself that he would probably do just about anything for Harry.

They clean up their breakfast mess and take turns showering. Louis gives Harry clothes to wear which are of course too small.

"We should probably grab your things from Dan's house sometime soon." Louis points out as he folds some clothes from the hamper. 

Harry looks worried. "I don't want to go back there."

"Zayn and I will come with you, and we'll wait until Dan's gone to work. You gotta get your stuff don't you?"

Harry looks unconvinced. He looks down at the socks he's pairing.

"You're safe now Harry. Dan is never going to lay another finger on you because we will always be here to protect you, I promise." Louis gently lifts Harry's chin to meet his gaze.

"We?" Harry asks, then realizes. "Are you and Zayn more than friends?"

"What makes you think that?" Louis retracts his hand. 

Harry shrugs. "I don't know, just the way he looks at you sometimes."

"Zayn and I have been friends since we were kids. He's always supported me no matter what, no matter how many times I let him down. At one point we did cross a line into more than friendship..." He pauses to think. "But it's not like...we're not...I don't know how to explain it."

"Have you slept together? Maybe you're friends with benefits?" Harry suggests.

"Maybe that." Louis hates talking about this with Harry. 

"It's fine if you are, I was just curious. So what are we going to do today? Since we're playing hooky."

"You need to rest. I'm still worried that we didn't bring you in to be properly examined."

"I feel completely fine, we can do whatever you want. What do you normally do on your days off?"

Louis thinks. "Hmmm there's one thing I'd like to do today I think would be safe enough for you, if you're up for it."

Harry grins at him. "Anything babe."


	13. Chapter 13

Louis cruises down the highway, fidgeting with the radio in search of a good station. Harry doesn't once ask where they are going, staring ahead happily as they drive further and further away from the city. Louis appreciates how much Harry trusts him. He stops channel surfing when Isaac Slade's melodic voice comes on, singing 'How to Save a Life'. Awfully appropriate, Louis thinks to himself, considering last night's events.

He reaches across the seat and holds Harry's hand, giving it a small squeeze as they turn to smile at each other.

When they arrive at their destination, Louis' nicotine cravings are too intense to ignore. They get out of the car he stops to lean on the trunk, pulling out his pack and lighter. "Mind if we hold on for a sec?" Harry watches him light up, expressionless.

"So yeah, I smoke...now you know." Louis mutters between drags.

"I knew." Harry admits.

"How?" Louis is surprised. He had been significantly cutting back, and had successfully eliminated his lunchtime smoke break at work, thanks to Harry's equally addicting company. He had sort of been hiding it from Harry as long as he could.

"At work I smell it on you in the mornings." Harry explains. "And your car kinda smells like it too."

"Oh." Louis looks at his feet and starts kicking at some stones on the pavement. "I'd like to quit, hopefully by the end of the year. It's just tough."

Harry seems to sense Louis' shame. "It doesn't really bother me, you're fine either way."

Louis nods as he tosses down his half smoked cigarette and puts it out with his the toe of his shoe. "Shall we then?"

"Lets go see some fish!" Harry beams.

"Have you ever been to this aquarium?" Louis asks, holding open the door.

"I don't get out very often. Dan kinda liked me to stay home when he was working, and...Wow! Look at this place!" Harry is distracted as they enter the lobby.

Louis starts mentally listing all of the places he can't wait to take Harry.

They enter into a grand room full of giant sculptures of eels, sharks and squids. There is a large waterfall at the back of the room, with a gap in the water allowing passage.

An attractive man in a baseball cap and an outfit made entirely of beige khaki greets them at the door.

"Hey Louis, its been a little while eh? Who's your friend?" The man asks.

"This is Harry, Harry this is James." Louis introduces them.

James nods at Harry then returns his focus to Louis. "Shouldn't you be working? It's the middle of the week man."

"We skipped work today, no big deal." Louis pretends to brush off his shoulders.

"Well enjoy, and stop giving tours, guests are starting to expect it now and it's making us look bad." James scolds as he heads into the ticket booth.

Louis smiles and shrugs as he leads Harry to the back of the room. They approach the waterfall entrance, and Harry discovers that it's just a projection of a waterfall on a misty backdrop. "No fokin' way!" He gasps, putting his arm in and out of the moisture.

Louis chuckles and leads him into the hallway where they are completely surrounded by fish. The tank goes up each wall and spans the ceiling, all the way down the hall.

"So you come here often?" Harry jokes, looking all around.

"I used to come every weekend, I felt like it was it getting a little excessive though." Louis watches the circling sting rays. "They're born fully formed you know, they look like little raviolis, it's adorable."

They take their time exploring the many halls of the aquarium. Louis continues pointing out his favourite fish, providing impressive facts without ever reading the plaques.

Eventually they stop to sit at a bench in front of a huge shark tank.

"You know a lot about fish." Harry compliments.

"I've wanted a salt water tank for a while now." Louis admits.

Harry stops to watch a hammerhead shark swim by. "You should get one! You can get Dory and Nemo!"

"Yeah maybe it's time to pull the trigger and finally get one." Louis considers the idea. "But you can't put the fish in for a few weeks, you've gotta let the tank stabilize first.

"We can go get the tank after this?" Harry suggests.

Louis strokes his chin, debating. "Should we? No we can't. You're supposed to be resting your head, we skipped work today so you could rest."

Harry thinks... "We can go get your tank, then I'll take a nap when we get back to your place?"

"I am very tempted..." Louis acquiesces.

"We're getting an aquarium!" Harry cheers. "Well you're getting one. I get to pick out a fish though when it's time ok?"

Louis can't deny Harry when he's being so disgustingly cute and awkward. "Fine, lets hurry through the jellyfish exhibit then cause we've already been out for an hour and I need to get you home."

"Deal!" Harry takes his hand and they continue on.

\----------------------------------

A while later, they arrive to a shop called 'The Fish Man', and are greeted by a cute ginger with tattoo sleeves. "How's it going today?"

"You must be the fish man!" Louis cringes at himself, knowing how many times he's probably heard that. "Sorry, I'm Louis and this is Harry."

"You can call me Ed." The ginger grins. "What can I help you find today?"

"We need this whole thing." Harry says excitedly, pointing at the most impressive tank in the store.

"That one's not for sale." Ed laughs. "It's our display, but we've got all the right stuff to make your own."

Louis and Harry spend the next 20 minutes picking out a tank, plants and accessories.

Then Louis starts meticulously riffling through pieces of coral so Harry wanders off to look at the baby shark.

"Pretty cool huh?" Ed approaches him. "This little guy will grow up to be eight feet long. Gonna have to move him to a bigger tank before then."

"Does he have a name? Harry asks.

"Doesn't have one no, you can name him if you like?" Ed offers.

"Bruce." Harry states. "Fish are friends, not food." He adds in his best (albeit awful) Bruce impersonation.

Ed looks at him fondly. "You're somethin' else Harry. Are you two together?" He gestures at Louis who is still working on his coral pile.

"We're coworkers." Harry explains. "It's...complicated though."

Ed nods and hands him a business card. It says 'The Fish Man' in big blue letters. "Call me if things become...uncomplicated."

"Erm ok." Harry accepts the card. "I like your ink man." He admires the array of brightly coloured tattoos on Ed's arms including a Lego head, a snowflake and a paw print.

"Thanks, yours are cool too. Look at the rack on that mermaid!" Ed pokes at her naked chest.

"I've got a couple stupid ones." Harry admits. "I mean I've got "BIG" on my big toe.

"Brilliant." Ed eyes him up and down.

Harry looks over at Louis who is now comparing the labels on two bottles of fish food.

"If you're free this Saturday, I'm playing at The Getty around 8:00. I do a sort of one man acoustic gig with a loop station. Bring your friend too if you like." Ed points at Louis with his thumb.

"We'll try and make it out." Harry promises, barely taking his eyes off Louis to acknowledge him.

They walk back to join Louis at the counter where he has accumulated a large pile of coral and a jug of fish food.

Louis pays a hefty price for his stuff, then Louis and Harry carry out the disassembled tank while Ed follows them to the car carrying their bags.

"See you Saturday Harry." Ed winks as Harry gets into the car.


	14. Chapter 14

 

As they drive back, Louis wonders if he should bring up what he had just witnessed. So Harry has a date this weekend. Not ideal, but it's not exactly his business, he doesn't own Harry just because he's staying at his house. Plus after being with a jealous control freak like Dan, the last thing Harry would want is for Louis to start questioning his every move. So he stays quiet and lets it eat away at him inside.

When they get home they bring everything into the bedroom and decide to set it up later as they're really hungry.

Louis makes grilled cheese sandwiches for a late lunch and they sit at the counter to eat. He feels very awkward now. He can't think of anything to say to Harry that doesn't involve the unwarranted jealousy he's bottled up inside.

_This is why I don't get involved with people. This is why Zayn and I work. No complicated feelings, no resentment, just love and sex._

But Louis wants more than that, and he wants it with Harry, and he wishes they had never met The Fish Man.

Harry finally breaks the silence. "So Ed said he's playing at The Getty this Saturday."

Louis grits his teeth, waiting for the rest of the bad news. "Oh he asked you to come?"

"He asked _us_ to come." Harry corrects him.

"Huh?" This isn't computing for Louis.

"He plays guitar, and something about a loop? I don't know, I wasn't listening. You were so cute picking out your little corals I couldn't keep my eyes off you". Harry nudges him with his elbow.

Louis feels like he's just had the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders. He and Harry were on the same page after all. And Harry had called him cute to top it off. Pangs of guilt follow and Louis feels like an idiot for overreacting. He's glad he never mentioned his inner turmoil out loud.

"Yeah that sounds cool, we should check it out. I've seen a few shows there before, nice little venue." Everything seems brighter than it was 30 seconds ago.

"Ok perfect. Anyways sorry for being quiet, I feel guilty for missing work today." Harry confesses.

Louis is relieved that Harry is taking responsibility for the quietness. "Liam doesn't mind. We'll have double the workload tomorrow though, those tissues aren't gonna cut themselves."

"Totally worth it." Harry happily declares, batting his eyelashes dramatically. "Considering I get to spend all of this wonderful alone time with you."

"That was awfully cheesy Haz." Louis tears off a piece of crust and tosses it at him. "Cheesier than this sandwich."

"Haz?" Harry ignores the food fight Louis is trying to start, amused by the nickname.

"Yup, my Hazza, that's what I'm going to call you now. I get to be cheesy too." Louis looks at him with adoration.

"I love that." Harry gushes, meeting his stare. Louis can see the lust forming in his eyes as he bites his bottom lip.

Louis feels completely drawn to Harry, as if nothing in the world could ever be so perfect.

They are pulled away from their intimate moment when Louis' phone suddenly rings from his pocket, playing Afroman's "Because I Got High'.

"Hey Zayn." Louis greets him, watching in confusion as Harry sets down his grilled cheese and scampers out of the room.

"Hey man, good thing you stayed home today. There was a grease fire in the kitchen and we had to evacuate the hospital for hours, so stupid." Louis can hear Zayn take a long drag from his cigarette, he starts craving one himself. "We had to fill out a shit ton of paperwork for all the patients we removed, it was the worst day."

"Oh shit that sucks, glad I missed it. Thanks for talking to Liam for us, Harry's been resting all day." Louis instantly regrets lying, realizing that Zayn will notice the new fish tank next time he's over. He just feels guilty for having such a good day with Harry while Zayn was at work. "How's your eye?"

"Bruised up nicely, adds to my tough-guy physique. Did Harry's stitches hold?

"Yeah, you did a great job on his head. Doesn't look like its gonna get infected or anything. Honestly Z, thanks for everything yesterday. You're a better friend than I deserve."

"I've never seen you so worried about someone before, you were manic babe."

"Yeah I don't know what came over me, or what it is about Harry." Louis lowers his voice to a whisper. "I just like him... a lot."

"I know you do. Remember though, he just got out of a serious relationship, So try not to rush into things like you usually do."

"Seriously _fucked_ relationship." Louis brushes him off.

"I know you Lou, you're gonna mess this up if you don't control yourself- which I'm not even sure you're capable of to be honest. I'd rather not see either of you get hurt. Just be patient with him."

Louis rolls his eyes. "I'll do my best." He takes it to heart more than he lets on though.

"That's all I'm askin'. Anyways I'm at my car now, catch you later."

"See ya." Louis hangs up the phone and goes searching for his runaway house guest. He finds Harry sprawled out on the spare bed, taking up the whole thing with his long limbs.

"You didn't have to leave you know." Louis informs him, eyeing the bed for a place to sit, not finding one.

Harry scoots up to rest against the headboard, and pats the bed beside him as in invitation. "Just thought you'd want some privacy."

Louis obliges, sitting a few inches away. "He was just calling to see how you're doing."

"That's sweet of him." Harry snuggles in closer, lowering himself to rest his head on Louis' shoulder.

Louis drapes his arm around the taller boy. "Zayn is very sweet, once you get to know him. He likes to make people think he's tough, but it's all an act."

Harry sighs, feeling incredibly content against Louis' body. "Is he coming over tonight?"

"Nope." Louis declares. "I have you all to myself."

"I like the sound of that." Harry turns his head and presses his lips against Louis' neck. He doesn't suck or kiss, just lingers there, teasing him.

Louis closes his eyes, giving in to the feeling. "Wanna know a secret?"

"Obviously." Harry finally presses a gentle kiss into the nape of his neck. He pulls back just enough to drag his lips down Louis' skin, stopping at his collarbone.

Louis can feel Harry's breath warming his flesh. "I _really_ like you." He whispers, finding it hard to think clearly.

Harry pulls away and looks into his eyes. "I _really_ like you too." He says with all the sincerity in the world.

"I don't think I was supposed to tell you that."Louis admits.

"Why not?" Harry tilts his head a little.

"I don't know, you've just been through a lot lately, you probably need to figure your shit out before you start liking other people. That's how this works right? I mean you haven't even officially ended things with Dan."

"Too late, I already like you." Harry rests back against Louis. "And things are beyond done with Dan. I don't plan on ever seeing his face again. Does that cover all of your concerns?"

Louis smiles and rests his chin on Harry's curly head, smelling the scent of his own citrus body wash in his hair. "Yup, I guess there's nothing I can do about it then."

"Nope, you couldn't stop me if you tried." Harry says plainly.

Louis can't remember the last time he's felt this way about someone. He wants to give Harry everything all at once. To tell him everything he's ever thought or felt.

"The nightmares are about my parents..." He blurts out.

Harry stays silent, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"When I was 7, I was driving to school with my mom and dad. It was storming, but I loved school so I begged them to take me anyway. The roads were terrible, we were swerving around a bit, but I thought it was fun so I was laughing in the backseat. My mom kept asking me to keep quiet so my dad could concentrate, and said that he should pull over, but he wanted to wait until we were off the highway."

He stops, bracing himself for the next part. Harry is now running his hand up and down Louis' arm, trying to comfort him. Louis takes a breath then continues.

"So my dad's driving, and he can hardly see out the window cause its coming down so hard. Then suddenly a stopped car comes into focus, and we had no time to stop. My dad tried to swerve around it, but we slid into the ditch and the car flipped. I was the only one wearing my seatbelt. I hung there upside down, watching my parents bleed out in the front seat. I was screaming, begging them to be ok, to stay with me, but they were gone. Thats what I dream about every night."

Louis realizes he's crying. He looks down and see's that Harry is too.

"Louis I'm sorry, I can't believe you have to go through that every night. If I could take that pain away I would, I'd do anything." His cheeks are wet with tears.

"I'm alright." Louis kisses his head. "It's been like this for years, I'm used to it. When I fall asleep drunk I'm usually able to avoid them. It's taken a lot of willpower to not become a full blown alcoholic." He chuckles a little at himself but sees that Harry is still crying.

"It means a lot to me that you shared that." Harry looks devastated.

"It was only fair since you shared with me this morning." Louis rolls over onto Harry, supporting himself on his arms to hover above him. "Now I need to cheer you up though." He kisses Harry's face, from his chin to his eyebrow, tasting the salty tears along his flushed cheeks. Harry looks up at him with amazement, as Louis stares back down at him, dying to kiss his lips, wanting to taste more of him. Then he remember's Zayn's advice.

 _You're gonna mess this up if you don't control yourself...be patient_.

Louis gathers his strength, forcing himself off of Harry and back onto the bed. He clenches his jaw and waits for his heart to stop pounding so damn loud some can think.

"Wanna watch a movie?" His voice comes out shaky as he tries to compose himself.

"Sure what one?" Harry seems to be doing the same.

"You can choose. Doesn't matter to me." Louis walks out of the bedroom before he's able to change his mind and kiss the absolute life out of Harry.

————————

Harry sorts through the shelves of DVD's in Louis' living room. His face lights up when he pulls out Finding Nemo. "This one. Definitely."

They sit on the floor with their backs against the couch, watching Marlin try to find his lost son. Harry has clearly seen this before, as he's able to recite lines along with the movie, yet he laughs at every joke like he's hearing it for the first time. Louis feels himself growing more and more attached, as if his heart is slowly melding with Harry's. He wonders how bad it would feel if they got ripped apart.

When the credits roll, Harry is barely able to keep his eyes open. He has returned to their position from the morning, with his head on Louis' thigh.

"You were supposed to have a nap today." Louis reminds him.

"You sound like you're talking to a toddler." Harry complains. "M' pretty tired though so I think I will call it a night."

Louis sets him up with some PJ's then stands in the doorway of the spare bedroom, resisting the temptation to take Harry right then and there. "G'night, get a good sleep cause work's gonna be shit tomorrow."

"Night Lou." Harry replies as he's left alone.

Louis cleans up their abandoned grilled cheeses, smokes two well needed cigarettes, brushes his teeth then climbs into bed, figuring he might as well try and get some extra sleep.

His mind is restless though, replaying the day over and over, thinking about Harry and wanting to go across the hall and climb into his bed...He debates masturbating to release some of the built up tension, and begins palming himself over his briefs, pretending it's Harry's larger hand.

A few moments later, he hears footsteps in the hallway and Harry appears in his doorway shirtless. "Lou can I..."

"C'mere." Louis replies immediately, feeling relieved. He pulls back the comforter and Harry happily gets in beside him.

"Missed you." Harry teases, pulling Louis up onto his chest and wrapping his arm around, tousling his hair.

Louis smirks against his body. "Couldn't resist me could you." He decides his primal desires can wait for another night, just having Harry here is all he needs right now.

"Nope." Harry replies, lazily kissing his forehead. "You're stuck with me for another night."

 _I could get very used to this_. Louis thinks to himself. He closes his eyes and takes in the moment.

"Goodnight Tommo." Harry whispers.

"Goodnight my Hazza."


	15. Chapter 15

 

When morning comes, Louis is entangled around Harry's body like a Devil's Snare trying to strangle its victim. His arms are wrapped around Harry's waist and neck, and their legs are intertwined.

"Lou?" Harry tries to wake him up gently. "Your alarm's been goin off for ten minutes now babe, wanna turn it off?"

Louis reluctantly retracts his limbs and rolls off of Harry to reach his phone on the side table.

"There, happy?" He shuts off the beeping and tries to go back to sleep, but Harry yanks the covers back and starts placing wet kisses right below Louis' bellybutton.

"Fuck-Harry-Oh-" Louis is overtaken by his sudden lascivious desires. Harry moves his kisses a little to the side, sucking firmly on one spot until a large red mark is left behind, then he jumps out of bed and makes for the door, leaving Louis dumbfounded.

"I had a feeling that would wake you up. I'm gonna go shower now!" Harry prances out of the room.

Louis scoffs as he thumbs at the hickey on his hip bone. Harry was so _sexual_ in the mornings, and he fucking loved it.

—————

They didn't talk much that day at work, being so behind in their dissections that they needed to actually focus for once.

At lunch time, Russell questions Harry about why his scrub pants are so short. Harry looks down at his exposed ankles, not knowing how to answer, but luckily Louis chimes in.

"He shrunk them in the wash, rookie mistake really. Nah I'm just joking, he actually grew four inches overnight. No wait that's not it either. He woke up half naked in my bed with nothing to wear so I lent him my scrubs. Ah yes that's the one. "

Russell palms his forehead. "I knew I shouldn't have asked. Sorry Harry, enjoy your ravioli." He takes his tray to sit at another table.

"I would if they didn't remind me of baby sting rays now." Harry says to Louis, poking at them with his fork.

"You're eating baby sting rays? You're a monster Harry!" Louis gasps in mock horror.

Harry shakes his head and smiles. "I guess I should get some clothes that fit me before the whole lab know's I'm your- that I'm sleeping at your place." Harry catches himself.

Unsure how to approach Harry's little slip, Louis chooses to ignore it. "Will Dan be home tonight after we get off?"

"Nope, Thursdays he's at the base until ten." Harry states.

"I'll text Zayn and have him meet us after work, then we can swing by to grab your stuff. Do you have a key to get in?"

"No but he has one hidden under the mat for emergencies- shit I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that, he's gonna be pissed." Harry says out of habit.

Louis raises an eyebrow.

"Never mind, it's fine obviously. Sorry. Forget I said that." Harry looks solemnly down at his untouched lunch.

"Don't say sorry, you're fine. This will all be over soon ok Haz?" Louis hates the way the thought of Dan is affecting Harry. He pulls out his phone to text Zayn.

 **Louis** : Can you come with us tonight to pick up Harry's stuff? Dan won't be there.

Zayn replies a few seconds later.

 **Zayn** : Course babe. Meet you at the car.

——————

When their shift ends Harry and Louis change into more of Louis' clothes, then head out to the parking lot to find Zayn smoking what appears to be his fourth cigarette in a row.

"Jeez mate give your lungs a break." Louis acknowledges the pile of fresh cigarette butts at his feet as he unlocks the car.

Zayn starts to climb in when Louis grabs his arm to hold him back. "Hey uh... can you maybe not smoke in the car? I don't want Harry breathing it in.. or for my car to smell."

"Your car already smells." Zayn mutters under his breath, tossing his Marlboro out the open door.

——————

They arrive at Dan's and Harry retrieves the hidden key to let them in. When they get to the foyer, Harry's eyes go wide and he takes off running down the hall.

"Shit I totally forgot! Don't worry baby, daddy's coming!"

Louis and Zayn exchange confused glances before following him into the bedroom.

They find Harry sitting in front of a glass tank, making cooing noises at a large turtle.

"You hungry? Daddy will feed you." Harry pours some pellets into the stainless silver bowl. "I only have a few bits of clothing to grab, then we can be on our way." Harry acknowledges the boys as he watches his pet eat.

"Is this your turtle?" Zayn asks.

"No it's technically Dan's, he paid for him and everything." Harry regretfully replies.

Louis places his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Who takes care of him?"

"I do." Harry says softly.

"Then it's your turtle." Zayn predicates. "Pack up his stuff."

"I am worried that Dan won't feed him..." Harry turns to look at Louis. "Would he be allowed to stay at your place for a little? I promise I'll keep him in his tank, he won't bother you at all."

Louis crouches down to talk to the turtle. "You are most welcome to come and stay with us. What's his name?"

"Turtle." Harry discloses.

"You named your turtle 'Turtle?" Louis clarifies.

"Yeah, my first pet was a hamster named 'Hamster'. He died though. Then Dan bought me this little guy when I moved in with him."

Louis think it's funny that Harry called it a 'little guy', considering it was as wide as a dinner plate. "What kind is he?"

"He's a wood turtle. I don't think they're technically meant to be pets, but I raised him from when he was a baby so it's all he knows."

"Is Harry a good daddy?" Louis asks Turtle in a high pitched voice, making Zayn roll his eyes.

"I'll grab the rest of my stuff real quick." Harry begins pulling clothes out of the closet and piling them onto the bed.

When he has gathered the turtle's supplies along with a small stack of clothing, a toothbrush, deodorant and a bottle of Tom Ford cologne, he turns to Louis. "Ok that's it."

"That's all you own?" Louis eyes the small collection of items.

Harry looks embarrassed. "Yeah?"

"Do you want to take anything of Dan's while we're here? Maybe smash a few things?" Zayn tilts his head toward the plasma screen TV on the dresser.

"No thank you." Harry looks around the room gravely. "It's kind of shitty being here, can we go?" He stares at a framed picture of Dan and himself resting beside the TV.

Louis wraps his arms around Harry from behind, hugging him close to his body. "Of course babe, we can go." He nuzzles his nose into the back of Harry's neck, making the taller boy smile.

"Go be gross somewhere else." Zayn turns away from the display.

Harry wiggles out of Louis' arms and springs onto Zayn, hugging him forcefully. Louis joins in on his other side, creating a Zayn sandwich, and places a kiss on his cheek.

"We love you Zaynie!" Louis exclaims giddily.

"Ge'offmeh." Zayn murmurs against Harry's chest, trying to hide his smile.


	16. Chapter 16

"Welcome to your new home Turtle!" Louis exclaims as he and Harry stand back to admire the tank they had just lugged in from the car that was now sitting on the floor.

"I think I'm gonna take off." Zayn announces, setting down the box of turtle food and supplies.

Part of Louis wishes Zayn would stay, having spent so little time with him since their trip to the cabin. However the other part of Louis is eager for him to leave so that he can have Harry to himself again.

"Stay." Harry instructs. "I'm going to make food for all of us, you two relax and make sure Turtle isn't too stressed from the move."

Louis considers protesting but knows that it will make him seem like an asshole, so he thanks Harry for his offer and takes a seat on the couch.

"Let's let him out." Zayn says the minute Harry is out of earshot, mischievously eyeing the turtle.

"Really?" Louis asks.

Zayn opens the side of the tank, "Yeah why not?"

"I don't know, don't they have salmonella?" Louis watches as Turtle turns his head, noticing his opportunity for escape.

Turtle doesn't move

"I guess he likes it in there." Zayn says puzzled.

Louis grabs Zayn's hips and pulls him down onto his lap. "You tried babe."

Zayn leans back against Louis' chest and begins grinding his hips back and forth in an almost unnoticeably small fashion. He misses being the object of Louis' desire, and hopes this feeble attempt will make him horny enough to want him.

"Babe stop." Louis grunts, trying not to get hard, but not releasing Zayn from his arms either. "Harry could come back."

"So he doesn't know we've fucked?" Zayn continues moving on his lap.

"He does, but I wasn't planning on having him walk in on it." Louis points out.

Zayn stops and turns around to straddle him. "You think we should stop?" He begins sucking vigorously on Louis' neck.

"No..." Louis' says weakly. He grabs onto Zayn's ass and pulls him closer so they are properly gyrating.

Zayn knows exactly what he's doing. For the first time in their friendship, he is putting his own needs before Louis' and it is liberating.

"You want me inside you babe?" Zayn whispers lewdly in his ear.

"I...I..." Louis stops. Zayn turns to look back over his shoulder and sees Harry standing in the doorway holding a plate of sandwiches.

"Haz!" Louis gasps, not knowing how he will react.

Harry sets down the plate onto the coffee table, and slowly walks over to them, as Louis pushes Zayn onto the floor.

"Don't stop." Harry orders.

Louis looks up at him with confusion. "What?"

"I said don't stop." Harry sits beside him and motions for Zayn to come back up.

Louis realizes Harry's intentions, and looks to Zayn for approval. Zayn climbs back onto his lap and they begin kissing fervidly. Being watched by Harry is a huge turn on for Louis. He can feel his rigid cock straining against his tight denim.

"I need...get off for a sec." Louis stands up and pulls off his shirt, jeans and briefs, watching Harry's expression become more desperate. He steps forward and begins undressing Zayn, silently rejoicing that their lengths are similar so Louis wont seem inferior.

Zayn turns Louis around and leans him forward, pressing his face into the top of the couch. Louis grabs onto the fabric, turning his head to make eye contact with Harry who is now leaned back into the couch with one hand in his pants. "S'fucking hot Lou." Harry pants. "Your body is amazing babe, I'm so turned on by this."

Louis tenses when he feel's Zayn's fingers enter him dry. He forces himself to relax, letting Zayn stretch him while stroking his cock. Once Zayn is satisfied, he spits onto his fingers and uses it to moisten his dick, then presses it against Louis' hole. Normally he would ask Louis if he was ready, but not this time. He shoves himself in all at once, making Louis gasp out and collapse further into the couch.

Zayn holds Louis' hips steady while he slams into him, causing a mixture of both pain and pleasure. Harry unzips his jeans and pulls them down just enough to release his cock, which Louis notices is thick and long. Harry starts stroking himself, watching Louis' face contort as Zayn fucks him aggressively.

It lasts minutes, but feels like seconds. Louis experiences more pain then he's ever had from sex, especially with Zayn who is normally tender and considerate, but not this time. Zayn isn't holding back, he fucks Louis hard against the couch, fully aware that none of them are going to last long with how hot this is.

"You love my cock inside you, don't you Louis. You love having Harry watch me wreck you too. I'm gonna come inside you so hard babe, you want my big load in your ass?" Zayn growls.

Louis moans, embracing the forceful blows his prostate is receiving. "Come inside me Z, I want you to fill me up."

His words send Harry over the edge, moaning loudly as he shoots his load onto his hand and stomach.

Louis comes too, spurting white streaks onto their cushions, and shouting Harry's name.

Zayn thrusts into him a few more times before seizing and gripping Louis' hips as he comes inside his ass.

He pulls out of Louis slowly, then Louis collapses onto the couch, unable to support himself anymore.

"That was... _hot_." Harry pants.

"Your cock is huge Harry." Zayn muses.

Harry smirks and uses his discarded shirt to wipe off his semen, then tucks his softening member back into his pants. "Thanks for noticing."

Harry scoots himself over and pulls Louis' limp body into his arms. "You were incredible babe. That was so fucking sexy, seeing you get fucked like that." He kisses Louis on the nose. "Did you like having me watch?"

"Yes my Hazza, I loved it."

Zayn takes their cuddling as his cue to go. He throws his clothes back on and grabs one of the sandwiches Harry made, shouting "see you tomorrow" as he leaves before anyone has time to protest.

When he gets outside he remembers that Louis drove him there, so he walks to the bus stop and waits to catch a bus back to the hospital.


	17. Chapter 17

When Louis finally recovers in Harry's arms, he feels a strange urge to shower off. So he dismisses himself and turns on the water, making it a little hotter than he usually prefers, and begins cleansing himself of Zayn's touch.

As steam fills the bathroom, Louis tries to figure out why he feels so incredibly uneasy. He'd just had an exhilarating sexual experience with two people he was insanely attracted to. Two people that he cared deeply for. Two people who cared deeply for him. So what was the problem?

He lets the thoughts rush over him simultaneously with the water, until it begins to run cold. Then he steps out and dries off as he heads for the bedroom to get some sweatpants.

Louis is surprised to find Harry already tucked into his bed, waiting for him.

"Oh hey, sorry if you were gonna shower, I kinda used all the hot water." Louis drops his towel and grabs a pair of Adidas sweats, feeling Harry's gaze and wondering why it makes him feel shy. Harry had literally just seen him naked and spread out over the couch so...

"That's ok, I'll shower in the morning. Everything ok Lou?" Harry asks.

"Yeah, course it is. I just feel like theres something I need to tell you but I don't know how." Louis explains guardedly.

"Come cuddle and tell me." Harry holds out his arms.

Louis gets into bed and is immediately pulled into Harry's tender ams.

"What's on your mind?" Harry strokes the back of his neck.

Louis can barely think. Being so close to Harry and feeling their bare chests press together makes him a little dizzy.

"I um...I just want you to know that it...it doesn't have to always be like that. With Zayn I mean. Cause I like you so fucking much..."

Harry pulls back, watching Louis fumble with his words.

"And I thought maybe you and I... Like I know I said that Zayn and I are more than friends but it doesn't have to stay that way..."

Louis' rambling is halted when Harry grabs the back of his head and pulls him forwards, joining their lips together in a loving kiss. Louis kisses him back fiercely, welcoming the feeling of Harry's full lips on his thin ones. He feels Harry's tongue, and parts his lips allowing it entrance and gracing it with his own, savoring the sweetness. Their tongues tentatively graze, tasting each other for the first time, and it feels exactly how it's supposed to, warm and safe. It feels like home. 

When they part, Louis is breathless. His heart belongs to Harry now, plain and simple.

"I've been wanting to do that for ages." Harry moans into Louis neck as he brings him close again. "And I understand what you were trying to say. I'd love for us to get closer, with or without Zayn."

"I'm so glad." Louis relaxes into his embrace.

"You realize we've seen each other non stop for about 48 hours now?" Harry ponders, stroking up and down Louis' back. "You must be incredibly sick of me."

"Not even a little bit." Louis says honestly.

"Good cause I'm not sick of you either." Harry smiles. "You're a great kisser by the way."

"Thanks, so are you." Louis feels like he is back in middles school, getting butterflies in his tummy around his crush. "Your lips are really soft." 

"I've been using your chapstick." Harry confesses. "Wanted them to be soft for when...for it this moment came." 

"Ew I put my lips on there!" Louis shrieks, pretending to be repulsed. 

"You put you lips on here too." Harry kisses him again, softer this time. 

"I guess we can share lip products then." Louis mutters as his kisses down Harry's chin, enjoying his new freedom. "In fact use whatever you want. What's mine is yours. You want my kidneys? Take those too, as long as I get to keep kissing you." 

As Louis continues kissing his face, Harry grins so hard his cheeks get sore. That is until Louis kisses those too. "That reminds me, can I borrow your laptop tomorrow? I need to start looking at apartments."

Louis detaches and rests on Harry's shoulder. "Yeah you can." He'd hoped he'd forgotten about moving out. Then he realizes something. "Hey where's your phone?"

"In pieces. Dan smashed it when I wouldn't tell him who "Louis" was." Harry recalls.

"That explains why he hasn't contacted you. Are you planning on getting another one?"

"Yeah but no rush, I didn't use it much. Other than to creep your Facebook page anyway."

Louis squeaks. "Hazza! You Facebook stalked me?" He cranes his head back and licks Harry's nose.

"Maybe." Harry smiles. "Not my fault you're so gorgeous."

"I love when you're confident like this." Louis presses a soft kiss on Harry's lips. "God that gives me chills."

Harry grins and gives him a kiss in return. "I'm just being honest. It's nice being able to say whatever I want without worrying that you'll freak out."

"Hey remember that first night at Revival?" Louis recalls.

Harry wrinkles his nose. 

Louis rolls his eyes. " _I_ was hitting on _you_. Pretty hard. Just so we're clear."

"I thought I scared you off that night." Harry says feeling small.

"Pretty sure it was the other way around. Doesn't matter now though, cause here we are."

"Here we are indeed Tommo."

They lie together for a few more hours, cuddling and sharing stories, learning more about each other until it's dark.

 

As Louis begins to fall asleep, he remembers that last night he didn't have any nightmares.

———————————————

By the time the bus pulls up to the hospital, Zayn feels like utter shit. The endorphins have worn off and he's left with the mental image of Louis curled up in Harry's lap.

 _He said his fucking name as he came too_.

The thought of going home alone is too depressing to bear, so he pulls out his phone and opens up a text to Liam.

 **Zayn** : You home?

He sits in his car and waits, but fifteen minutes pass with no reply. He unlocks his phone again, debating whether or not he should call him, when he sees another name in his contact list:

Niall Horan.

Zayn and Niall had known each other for years. They'd met through Liam, but had never really been close. They didn't have much in common. Niall didn't, smoke, drink or party often. He never went to the club with them on weekends, and to Zayn's knowledge, had never smoked weed. They mostly saw each other at the hospital when Niall did morning blood collection rounds for the inpatients.

However whenever Niall is around, Zayn can't help but feel happy, as Niall's positivity had the power to spread like wildfire.

Zayn starts a new message.

 **Zayn** : Hey, just wondering if you're busy?

A moment later he sees the little speech bubble, indicating that Niall is typing. He waits, watching the dots flash, then it disappears.

_What the fuck?_

Feeling frustrated, Zayn lights a cigarette and starts his car. He pulls out onto the street when his phone rings. Trying to multitask, he places the cigarette between his lips and opens his phone with one hand, steering with the other.

"Ello?"

"Hey it's Niall, just got your text. I'm not busy, what's up?"

"Just seein' what you're up to. Why'd you call me though?" Zayn mumbles through his clenched lips.

"I hate texting so I figured I'd just ring you instead." Niall explains.

"Can I come over?" Zayn hopes to end the phone call before he gets pulled over.

"Course you can! Are you coming now? I just gotta change I... Never mind, are you close?"

"Mhm." Zayn hums.

"Ok see you soon, bye!"

Zayn tries to hang up, but drops his phone in the process, making him swerve into the other lane. He grabs the wheel with both hands to steady his car, and consequently drops the lit cigarette onto his pants, burning a little hole in the thigh. "Motherfuck..." He tosses the cigarette out the window and focuses on driving. "This kid's gonna be the death of me."

\-------------------------------

Niall is already waiting in the doorway when Zayn pulls into the driveway. As he gets to the door, he sees that Niall's cheeks are red and he's shiny with sweat.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Zayn asks, wondering if Niall has a girl over.

Niall wipes his forehead with the back of his arm. "Not at all, I was just finishing up a workout. Want a protein shake?"

"No thanks, are you sure you don't want me to go?" Zayn doesn't make a move to come in.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." Niall walks back into the house, motioning for Zayn to follow him.

Once Niall has prepared his shake, they sit across from each other at the kitchen table.

"So what happened?" Niall inquires.

Zayn frowns. "How do you know something happened?"

"You've never asked to come over out of the blue like this, I figured something went down between you and Louis."

"It sort of did, yeah." Zayn admits.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Niall asks softly. 

"Not really." Zayn feels increasingly stupider for coming.

"That's fine, wanna see something I've been working on?" Niall suddenly stands up.

"Absolutely."

Niall leads him out into the backyard, sipping on his chocolaty shake.

They stop in front of a tall oak tree, with wooden beams nailed into the top of the trunk creating a platform. 

"Ta da!"

"It's...nice, what is it?" Zayn stares up at the tree.

"Still needs a lot of work but it's gonna be a treehouse! I'm gonna build it up to be 9 feet all around. I'll probably add a rope ladder to make it easier to get up."

"That's awesome man!" Zayn eyes along the tall tree trunk. "How do you get up now?"

"I climb." Niall says like it's no big deal.

"You climb that tree? It's like 30 feet tall!"

"I'm a monkey." Niall winks at him. "Wanna see?"

"No! I'm scared you'll fall!" Zayn exclaims.

"I wont." Niall hand him his shake, then grabs onto the trunk with both hands and begins walking up with his bare feet, adjusting his hands as he ascends."

"Be careful man, please." Zayn watches him get higher and higher.  


When Niall finally gets to the top, he lifts himself onto the platform and waves down. "See, I didn't fall!"

"Now you gotta get down though!" Zayn yells up to him.

"I'm gonna jump!"Niall shouts back.

"Don't you fucking dare!"

Niall laughs and lowers himself back to the trunk, climbing his way back down.

Zayn has quite the adrenaline rush by the time Niall gets to the bottom. He sets the cup down into the grass and pulls Niall into a hug, drenching himself in cool sweat. "You're very sweaty."

"So are you now." Niall rubs his cheek against Zayn's, transferring the moisture.

Zayn makes a face, acting disgusted even though he kind of likes it, Niall smells like Axe body wash.

"What made you decide to build this? It's really cool." Zayn dries his face with the bottom of his shirt.

"You kinda did. When we were at the cabin talking about my dad, it reminded me of how much I like building stuff. I don't want to lose the skills he taught me, you know?"

Zayn wonders how he's never noticed how blue Niall's eyes are. "Have you told him you're building it yet?"

"I'm gonna wait until it's done, surprise him with it." Niall says proudly.

"I think that's a great idea." Zayn tries to reassure himself that the fond feelings he is currently having for Niall are purely platonic, but he isn't entirely convinced.


	18. Chapter 18

 

When Louis' alarm goes off the next morning, he is refreshed from a second nightmare-free night. His smile turns to a frown however when he discovers that Harry is no longer in bed beside him. Assuming he's probably in the bathroom showering, Louis makes his way into the kitchen to start the coffee and duck out to the backyard for a quick smoke. When he passes the living room he has to turn and do a double take.

"Harry? What are you doing on the floor?"

Harry is crawling around on his hands and knees. He looks up at Louis with an expression of fear and remorse. "Shit Lou, I'm _so_ sorry. I must have left Turtle's tank open last night and now he's gone. I'm sure I can find him though, _please don't be mad!_ " He bends down further to look under the couch.

"Actually Zayn kind of left it open..." Louis confesses. "He wanted to let him roam around."

Harry shakes his head. "It's still my fault, he's my pet and I need to look after him. I should have checked it before bed."

"It's definitely _not_ your fault." Louis reiterates "But either way we need to find him. I'll check the rest of the house, he could't have gone too far."

Louis eventually finds Turtle under the desk in the spare bedroom, tucked into his shell in fear. Louis uses a towel to pick him up and carry him back to his tank.

"See Harry, I found him! Nothing to worry about." Louis announces.

"Lou I'm really sorry." Harry doesn't seem to be able to look him in the eyes.

"Why do you keep apologizing? I told you it's not even your fault." Louis is confused. Why is Harry being so weird about this? Then he realizes.

"Harry you know I'm not going to punish you right? Even if it was your fault- which it isn't- I wouldn't care and I certainly wouldn't lash out at you for it." Louis reaches out his hand but Harry flinches.

"Hazza..." Louis' heart sinks. "Please don't be afraid of me. It's not gonna be like that."

"You're right, sorry." Harry says quietly.

"If you say sorry to me one more time..." Louis gently places his hands on Harry's arms. "Haz look at me please."

Harry slowly looks up. "Sor-" He stops himself.

"Eliminate that word from your vocabulary. You're a free man now, and you don't need to be atoning to anyone ok?" Louis wishes he was better at comforting people.

Harry smiles weakly. "You're really sweet to me."

Louis rubs his arms gently up and down. "I'm gonna make breakfast, do you want to go shower?"

Harry nods and leaves without saying anything.

Louis sighs and heads for the kitchen to start the coffee.

 _Whatever damage Dan did to Harry in the year they were together, I vow to fix it_.

——————————

Harry is quiet for the rest of the morning. When they get to the lab there isn't a lot of work to be done, so Harry works on the dissections while Louis sits and watches, hating the awkward silence.

"You've mastered it Styles, I don't think I need to be watching over your shoulder anymore." Louis observes. "I'm gonna go see Niall for a bit ok?"

Harry nods his head without looking up.

 _What the fuck am I gonna do about this?_ Louis wonders.

He finds Niall in the Hematology department staring into a microscope, clicking away with a little silver tally counter. 

"Whatcha counting?" Louis pulls up a rolling chair beside him.

"Sperm." Niall mumbles, still clicking away.

Louis taps his fingers on the back of the chair impatiently until he finishes.

"Hey Louis!" Niall pops his head up, suddenly much more enthusiastic. "How've you been? Did you and Zayn make up?"

"Did Zayn and I what? Why would we make up, we weren't fighting?"

Niall looks confused. "Oh... Maybe I wasn't supposed to mention it."

"He told you he was mad at me?" Louis gawks. "Why would he tell you that?

"No no, he just came over yesterday evening and he seemed upset." Niall explains.

Louis is speechless for a moment.

"I've gotta go talk to him." He stands abruptly, almost tripping over the chair in the process. "Sorry man, I'll catch you later."

He takes the elevator to the 8th floor where Zayn works as a nurse, and frowns when he sees a pretty dark haired girl sitting at the reception desk.

"Eleanor my dear, how are you this fine morning?" Louis forces a fake smile.

"He's busy." She replies coldly, not looking up from her computer.

"Who Zayn? Nah I'm here to see you gorgeous!" Louis hops up onto the counter and wiggles his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"I'm not telling you what room he's in." Eleanor pops her gum, still not looking at him.

"No problem, I'll just leave then." Louis jumps back off the counter and begins walking away.

Eleanor finally looks up, surprised to see him concede. Louis takes a few more steps towards the elevators then quickly spins around on his heels in a 180, flipping her off as he runs down the hall yelling "Psyche!"

Chuckling to himself, he begins sticking his head into each room to look for his friend, finally finding him a room with droplet precautions. He puts on the gown, face mask with eye shield, and gloves before entering the room.

"Eleanor sure is a bitch this morning!" He announces himself.

"This isn't a good time Louis." Zayn fiddles with the dials on the IV machine.

"Why what's up?" Louis looks down at the patient, an elderly man that appears to be sleeping.

"I'm working." Zayn waves a thermometer around to prove his point.

"That's never stopped us before." Louis point out. "Remember that time you bent me over the bed in 7C and fuck-"

"Louis!" Zayn hisses. "Do _not_."

"Why he can't hear me?" Louis gestures at the patient in front of them.

"Yes I can." The old man suddenly speaks up, causing Louis to jump back startled.

"Shit! Sorry sir, I was only joking of course." Louis looks at Zayn with panicky eyes.

Zayn shakes his head. "You never learn do you. Now what did you come to tell me? Get it out fast before Mr. Cowell presses his call button and gets you kicked out."

Louis nods. "Thats fair. I heard from a little bird that you're upset with me and I was wondering why, considering when you left my place yesterday you seemed quite...satisfied."

Zayn glares at him. "Subtle, real subtle. I'm not mad at you I'm fine, nothing to worry about ok?"

"Ok fine." Louis thinks for a moment. "Wanna hang out tonight? Just the two of us? Harry's gonna be looking at apartment listings online anyway."

"Sure, I'll come over later tonight ok?"

"Excellent, see you then... and sorry Mr. Cowell, please don't sue me!" Louis blows them each a kiss as he exits the room.

When Louis returns to the lab it's lunch time and Harry seems to be in better spirits, though Louis suspects he may be faking it. So he urges Harry to eat quickly and once they've finished their cafeteria salads, Louis leads him outside to the courtyard for a stroll.

"Can I maybe get some insight as to what's going on in your head today?" Louis begins.

Harry looks down at his feet. "I'm sorry, I know I've been weird."

"There you go again apologizing for things you don't need to." Louis takes Harry's hand as they walk.

"I think maybe I'm a little fucked in the head." Harry sighs." I can't seem to get over myself when I mess up."

"You didn't even mess up though, that's what I don't get?" Louis says frustrated.

"Turtle getting out was sort of the final straw for me. Every time I've made a mistake at work you tell me I'm doing a great job but I know I've screwed up." Harry tries to explain himself.

Louis squeezes his hand. "Your view of yourself is so skewed Haz. You learned the bench much faster than I did, it's only been two weeks and you're able to work independently. That's seriously impressive, and any mistakes you've made were clearly small since I didn't even notice. "

"I know that what you're saying makes sense..." Harry tries to find the words. "I just have this feeling of guilt I can't seem to get over, it's like a weight on my conscience."

"This is because of Dan right, he made you feel like you were never good enough?I'm telling you right now he's a complete fucking idiot for treating you that way. You're the most incredible person, I really wish you could see that." Louis stops walking and holds Harry's arms like he did that morning.

"Why do you always look at me like that?" Harry asks.

Louis tilts his head slightly. "Like what?"

"Like I'm perfect or something." Harry says quietly.

"Because you are." Louis says honestly.

Harry closes his eyes.

"Is that hard to hear?"Louis is worried he's made things worse.

"It's new." Harry looks like he's trying to process things.

"I really want to help you Haz. I may not understand this thing that you're going through, but we can work through it together. I'll do whatever you need me to." Louis promises.

Harry hugs him tightly to his chest. "Please don't let me fuck this up."

"Never."

—————

Harry's mood takes another turn, and for the rest of their shift, he is a total flirt. He drops things intentionally so he can lean forward against Louis while picking them up. He rests his hand on Louis' knee while he talks to him. He bites his bottom lip seductively and makes soft moaning noises when nobody else is around to hear him. For the final touch, he leans over to Louis as he's working and whispers "I'm hard right now."

When they finally get home, Louis doesn't make it passed the living room before grabbing onto Harry's hips and mauling his face. They kiss desperately, running their hands over each other's bodies as they rip their scrubs off.

"You fucking tease Haz." Louis gasps for air. "I've been dying to touch you all afternoon." He kisses down Harry's defined jaw while stroking him through his underwear. Harry is rock hard. Louis licks a trail of saliva down to his neck, then begins sucking _hard_ , leaving a collection of purple marks. He loves the idea of people seeing Harry's marked neck.

"I need you Lou, please." Harry whimpers, grabbing Louis' curvy ass with his large hands. I'm so hard it fucking hurts. Bedroom?"

"No, right here." Louis kisses down Harry's chest and begins gently biting on his nipple, making him groan in pleasure. "Fuck Lou that feels good, harder." Louis opens his jaw and bites down into the skin, generating loud moans from Harry. Louis releases when he taste's blood, panicking for a second that he's gone too far, but then he sees that Harry is a panting mess. He fucking loves it.

Not able to wait any longer, Louis drops to his knees and pulls down Harry's briefs, letting his massive erection spring out. He circles the tip with his tongue, causing Harry to whine out more pleas. He looks up at Harry with lewd eyes, finally taking his length into his mouth, hallowing his cheeks and sucking like his life depends on it.

Harry's knees go weak and he almost collapses. "Lay down." Louis instructs, lowering him onto the carpet. Once he's on the floor, Harry bends his knees and throws his head back as Louis takes him into his mouth again."Louis oh my god... that feels so good you have no idea." Louis starts sucking harder and faster, fondling his balls at the same time. "I'm gonna come! Ohh, fuck Louis! Louis!" Harry digs his fingers into the carpet as his orgasm hits. Louis continues sucking until he's swallowed every last drop, then crawls up and lays beside Harry on the floor. "You taste so good Haz."

"Really?" Harry asks breathlessly.

"Best I've ever had." Louis informs him.

"Nobody's ever told me that before. It's really nice to hear."

Harry is about to roll over and return the favour when they hear the front door open.

"Babe? Oh shit, fuck." Zayn instantly regrets coming in without knocking when he see's Louis and Harry spread out on the carpet naked and sweaty. He turns around and walks back out, grumbling "Meet me out here."

"Whoops." Louis giggles, sitting up to grab his pants. "Forgot I asked him over."

"S'ok, nothing he didn't see yesterday." Harry gathers his clothes off the floor.

Louis sets him up on the couch with his laptop and a cup of tea. "We'll only be out a few hours, make yourself at home in the meantime. I mean it Harry, use whatever you like ok?"

"Ok." Harry smiles and gives him a lingering kiss on the lips. "See you later."


	19. Chapter 19

 

Zayn sits on front steps, smoking and sulking simultaneously.

"You couldn't do it in the bedroom like normal people?" He glares at Louis as he locks the front door.

"Didn't make it that far." Louis winks. "You're welcome. So where shall we go, wanna grab dinner?"

"M' not hungry. That display ruined my appetite." Zayn exhales a cloud of smoke into Louis' face.

"Jesus you're in a bad mood." Louis bats away the smoke. "Let's get some alcohol into your bloodstream. Thirsty's should be open, we can grab a few beers, figure out why your aura is blacker than your lungs today."

"Sounds ok." Zayn begrudgingly agrees.

They make their way down the crowded street until they arrive at Thirsty's Bar and Grill.

Several rounds of beer and 45 minutes of small talk later, Zayn is still not himself. He responds to everything with short statements or grunts while Louis struggles to keep up the conversation. Finally he can't take it anymore.

"I'm gonna channel my inner Sherlock Holmes here and determine that you are in fact _not_ ok with last night's events."

Zayn shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know."

"Why are you being like this? It's me! Lou-k Skywalker. Lou-tenant. Lou Lou Lemon."

Zayn wants to laugh but he's too upset. "Ok yes you caught me. I'm not thrilled about what went down last night. You used me like a sex toy to put on a show for Harry and it made me feel like shit afterwards."

"That's seriously how you saw it? I wanted to have sex with my best friend who I love. Harry happened to be very turned on by said actions and chose to watch...and stuff." Louis notices a couple at a nearby table is looking, he glares back at them.

"You said his name." Zayn chokes out.

Louis' head snaps back to look at him. "What?"

"When you came on my fucking dick, you said 'Harry'." Zayn feels his eyes begin to water, he fights the tears with everything he has.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I was in another headspace, I didn't even know what I was saying. That doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you in the moment." Louis explains.

Zayn shakes his head. "It _does_ mean that. We need to just be friends now Lou. No more fooling around, I can't do it anymore."

"Oh...yeah ok." Louis looks down at his beer.

"That's probably what you wanted anyway, to be exclusive with Harry. Proper boyfriends and all that shit. I should have seen it coming, you only want me when you're lonely." Zayn continues.

"Don't even say that, that's never what this has been." Louis protests.

"That's how it feels." Zayn grimaces.

"You don't get to be the victim here, you're the one ending things with me. You're leaving _me_." Louis is angry now.

"Leaving you? We were never together Lou! What was your plan exactly, keep me in your back pocket for when you and Harry are feeling kinky? I'm a fucking person! I have feelings!"

"I hate that you're acting like I forced you into this! You were the one grinding on my lap, trying to get me hard while Harry was in the other room. What were you expecting me to do, pull you onto a white stallion and ride off into the sunset? Grow the fuck up." Louis can't believe he's having this conversation with his best friend. After all they'd been through, he never thought a day would come where they spoke to each other this way.

"Fuck you Louis." Zayn spits. He stands up and slams his hand on the table. "I'm out of here." He storms out of the bar leaving Louis alone at the booth.

So Louis gets drunk. He continues ordering drinks until he has a hefty bar tab and a buzz to match. 

When he finally stumbles into his house, all of the lights are off. "Hazzaaaaa" He calls out. "Where are you?"

He enters the bedroom and sees Harry laying in bed. "Why'ya sleeping? It's still so early!"

"Dunno, I was tired and you never came home." Harry pouts, covering his eyes with his arm.

"Yes I did, see I'm right here!" Louis strips down to his underwear and jumps up on the bed, straddling Harry's hips. "I came home to you Harry." He says in a husky voice, moving up and down.

"Lou!" Harry gasps. "Stop teasing me with that perfect bum of yours."

"Why aren't you naked?" Louis demands.

"I can fix that?" Harry offers. When Louis nods enthusiastically Harry slips out of his briefs, then pulls off Louis' so there's nothing left between them.

"You have a monster penis." Louis giggles, feeling Harry's girth on his ass.

Harry runs his hands up and down Louis' body. "It looked even bigger with your lips stretched around it."

"Want me to do that again?" Louis tries to wiggle down but Harry grabs his hips to stop him."

"No love, it's your turn now."

Louis watches with wide eyes as Harry shuffles lower onto the bed, lining himself up with Louis' groin. He begins kissing and nipping at his inner things, grabbing onto his ass and giving it rough squeezes.

"Louis, your ass is fucking phenomenal. You make me crazy babe."

He reaches up and places his index finger into Louis' mouth. "Suck." He instructs.

Louis obeys, sucking his finger and running his tongue around it for a few moments. Harry pulls out the wet finger and brings it to Louis' hole. He rubs around the rim, then plunges it into Louis as he takes his cock into his mouth at the same time.

Louis squeaks, trying to comprehend the two sensations. He feels a jolt of pleasure when Harry collides with his prostate. "M' not gonna last long, that feels too good." He moans.

Harry takes him deeper into his throat until he is deep-throating his cock. He uses his free hand to guide Louis' hips, urging him to fuck his mouth.

"Oh god Harry." Louis groans loudly. He reaches back and grabs onto Harry's hard leaking cock and begins tugging on it.

"I'm gonna come!" Louis gasps. "Yes yes yes..." Harry slips in a second finger at the exact moment Louis is about to climax. It intensifies the orgasm, causing Louis to scream out his name. "Fuck, Harry!"

Harry comes too, squirting his load onto Louis' lower back. There isn't much, as he had just came a few hours ago, but a little starts to drip down to Louis' bum.

Louis wipes it off with his fingers then brings them to his mouth and licks them clean.

"You dirty fuck." Harry says amused.

"I told you, you taste great." Louis smirks.

"C'mere, I wanna spoon that bum of yours." Harry pulls him down in front him and they fall asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Saturday morning, Louis wakes up with one thing on his mind.

_I need a cigarette, now._

He attempts rise but Harry is immediately at his side, holding a tall glass of water.

"Hey you! How are you feeling? You should drink this." He extends the glass a little too quickly, spilling a little on Louis' lap. "Oops."

Louis downs it in three big gulps, then passes the glass back. "Thanks babe, I was so thirsty."

He stands up and feels the hairs on his lower back stick and pull. "My back is crusty." He observes. "You jizzed on my back." He pulls on a pair of sweat pants over the mess.

"Sure did" Harry mumbles against Louis' lips as he rushes to give him a kiss. "Then you ate it."

"What you must think of me." Louis pretends to look worried.

"I think you're the hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on." Harry responds, missing the sarcasm.

Louis grins and rolls his eyes. "Wow already laying on the compliments and it's only..." He checks his phone. "Holy shit it's already 1:00 I'd better get in the shower. We should get some groceries today too, theres nothing left in the fridge."

"Yeah I noticed that, right before I had olives for dinner." Harry reminisces.

"My bad, I'll take you out for breakfast first, or lunch I guess technically." Louis gives Harry's bum a squeeze as he heads for the bathroom.

When he turns on the tap, the shower head only emits a small dribble. "Um Haz." He calls out "Did you adjust the shower head?" He tries turning the head but it doesn't budge. He twists harder and harder until...

_Snap._

Water comes flying out in a single uniform stream.

"Shit." Harry appears in the doorway. "You don't know you're own strength apparently."

Louis tosses the broken shower head into the trash. "Add the hardware store to our list of errands for the day. I'll just take a bath I guess."

As the tub fills, Louis satisfies his nicotine craving on the back porch, getting a little buzz from it since it had been almost a day without any.

When he returns to the bathroom, there is a surprise waiting for him in the tub, a naked Harry.

"You comin' in?" Harry asks looking smug. His tip of his erection is poking out of the water.

Harry looks absolutely stunning. The steam had turned his cheeks pink. There were water droplets resting on his cupid's bow. The ends of his long curly hair rests on the surface of the water.

Louis _loves_ that Harry's sexual appetite is as insatiable as his own.

He strips off his pants slowly, not taking his eyes off of Harry, then steps into the water and lowers himself to align their bodies. Once he's settled he then leans in and places his lips on Harry's, enjoying the moisture. Harry emits a soft moan as he eases into it, making Louis' pulse increase and his cock fill rapidly.

With the steam and the heat it feels like Louis is melting, completely immersed in all things Harry. When their lips open his tongue enters Harry's mouth and it fuels the fire inside of him.

"Fuck." He groans, trying to position himself in a way where he can support himself with one hand and grab Harry's cock with the other.

It's a little awkward but they figure out the physics behind it and Louis takes both of their hard members into his hand. Harry's is bigger but since Louis is on top he is able to line them up.

"What..." Harry looks down at Louis' hand stroking their wet cocks beneath the water.

"You've never frotted before babe?" Louis runs his teeth up Harry's jaw and bites down on his bottom lip, making the taller boy moan loader.

"No but...feels s'fucking good." Harry mumbles with his lip still still between Louis' teeth.

Louis releases it and kisses him slowly again, tasting Harry's coffee flavoured mouth.

He tightens his grip and strokes faster, whimpering when Harry reaches around and grabs his ass firmly. The sound of water sloshing echoes off the bathroom tile.

"Gonna come." Harry pants a few minutes later. "Can't hold it back."

"Come with me Haz." Louis barely gets the words out before they are both moaning loudly and spilling their loads onto Harry's stomach.

"We got the bath dirty." Harry says with his eyes still closed.

"I kinda like it though." Louis admits, lowering himself down to rest his sore left arm.

Harry slides down into the water so that his entire torso is submerged, bending his knee and pulling Louis down against his body. He cups the bath water with his hands and then pours it onto Louis' back, rubbing the skin each time until the crustiness is gone. "All clean now." He whispers then kisses Louis' forehead.

They are both so happy and content that they lay together in the bath, surrounded by their own cum, until the water gets cold.

—————————————

Later that day Louis takes him to a nearby cafe for lunch. It's the kind of place that adds fancy ingredients to their sandwiches, like smoked salmon and sun dried tomatoes. Louis can sense Harry's hesitation as he scans the menu's high prices, so he excuses himself to the bathroom and pays the cost of two deluxe sandwiches before returning to their table.

"I'm probably gonna just get a tea." Harry decides.

"I figured you'd say something like that, so I already paid." Louis flips the menu to the most expensive page. "Choose one of these, they're all the same price."

Harry's expression turns anxious. "Why'd you do that? I've been eating your food for days, I was gonna pay for _your_ meal."

"I know you're trying to watch what you spend, I'm happy to pay for you." Louis explains.

Harry still looks distressed.

"Can I ask why this makes you so uncomfortable?" Louis inquires.

"I shouldn't be freeloading off you!" Harry exclaims. "I've done nothing to deserve any of this."

Louis furrows his eyebrows. Harry had been doing dishes, vacuuming and tidying up his place every chance he could. He was adorable about it too, trying to get it done in secret when Louis wasn't looking. His place had never been cleaner.

"You're not, and besides, you're not just some random stranger staying at my house, I really care about you. I want to do nice things for you to make you happy." Louis notes that Harry certainly does _not_ look happy.

"I don't want you to resent me. Dan was like this at the beginning, he would buy me things and be all sweet, but eventually he hated me for it. I was a burden."

Louis places his face with into hands and rubs his eyes with his fingertips, not knowing how to proceed, until he hears Harry's soft voice.

"I'm sorry Lou, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. " Louis puts his hands on Harry's. "Dan did. Every new thing I learn about the guy makes me want to drive to his house and beat the living shit out of him even more. You're fine though Harry, just please trust me when I tell you that you could never be a burden. I am so lucky to be spending this time with you and if I buy you things its because I truly want to, I would never resent you for it. Can you try to understand that?"

Harry nods apprehensively.

"Maybe you don't believe me now but I will prove it to you over time." Louis promises.

They quietly go back to perusing the menu. "The candied fig and swiss grilled cheese is really good, even though it sounds gross. Just sayin." Louis smiles across the table, overwhelmed by how strong his feelings for Harry are becoming.

—————————————

After a quick stop at the hardware store (Louis splurges on a fancy shower head with 7 massage settings) They head to the grocery store. Louis grabs a cart, thinking about how he will have to buy double the food now that Harry is staying with him. He hates planning meals so he just tosses whatever looks good into the cart, including an entire red velvet cake from the bakery section, party sized fruit and vegetable trays, 3 jugs of orange juice, 2 boxes of coffee k-cups and 10 frozen pizzas. He monitors Harry's reaction, but if he was worried he wasn't showing it on his face.

When they finally get to the register, Louis places his hands on Harry's waist as he unloads the food onto the conveyer belt. "It goes without saying that I'll be paying for this too." He whispers in his ear. Harry's body tenses but he quietly nods. Louis can tell it takes a lot of effort on his part to not argue, especially when their total is over 200$.

They return home and start unloading the groceries onto the counter. Louis hums the song that's been stuck in his head since their car ride home. It is all very domestic and peaceful. That is until Louis hears a _crash_.

He spins around and his jaw drops when he sees a pool of deep red liquid on the floor, surrounded by shards of broken glass.

"Oh my god are you-" Louis freezes then chuckles, realizing it was just the bottle of cranberry juice they'd just purchased.

Harry however looks like he's going to be sick, reigniting Louis' panic.

"Haz? What's wrong? Does your head hurt again?"

"I'm so sorry!" Harry's hand flies up to cover his mouth. His eyes look at Louis, pleading him.

"Nah, it's fine, I only bought that so you'd think I was somewhat healthy." Louis pulls a dust pan out of the cupboard and starts sweeping up the shards of glass.

"It was so expensive!" Harry looks mortified. "I'm so so sorry!"

_Here we go again._

Louis sets down the dustpan and stands back up. "Harry look at me. I don't care that you dropped a bottle of juice, accidents happen. Hell, even if you did it on purpose, I still wouldn't care. It takes a lot to piss me off, and this doesn't even come close. Can you please let this go?"

Harry eyes the mess on the floor. "I...I can't."

"What can I do to make you feel better?" Louis can't stand seeing Harry so upset with himself. "I'll do absolutely anything."

For someone of his height, Harry seems very small at this moment. He doesn't look up from the floor, clenching his fists to try and stable himself. His voice comes out almost inaudibly.

"Hit me?"


	21. Chapter 21

"What did you just say?" Louis assumes he must have misheard. There's no fucking way...

"Will you hit me?" Harry repeats, looking humiliated.

"No I will not! How can you even.. are you crazy?"

Harry begins to sob, he turns to flee the room but Louis grabs his arm. "Lets sit on the couch and talk about this ok? I need to understand why you're saying these things."

Louis leads him to the living room and watches Harry sit down on the couch with his knees tucked to his chest. He looks like the house might collapse on him at any minute.

"How could you think I'd ever hit you?" Louis demands a little harsher than he intends to.

"I know you wouldn't I just... You wanted to know what would make me feel better." Harry mumbles.

Louis tries to calm down a little. "Why on earth would that make you feel better?"

"Cause I deserve it. I did something wrong and now I need to be punished." His voice gets smaller towards the end of his sentence.

Louis stares blankly ahead, trying to comprehend what Harry has just shared with him.

"So you will feel bad unless I.." He can't bring himself to say it. "Is that what you and Dan did? You told him to do that?"

"No I never told him to, he just did it..it wasn't good though, not what I needed. He always took it too far and he did it out of anger. This would be different cause you would be doing it out of...as a favour." Harry tries to reason with him.

"I don't think I can do that Harry. Even if you want me to. I just can't. It's too fucked up."

Harry's eyes begin to fill with tears again, and Louis can't take it. He _can't _hit Harry though, he cares too much about him. But if it's what he wants, what he needs... This is so confusing.__

__"I'm sorry, I won't. That's final."_ _

__"You could... spank me?" Harry turns bright red._ _

__"You want me to spank your bum like you're a disobedient child?" Louis pictures Harry spread out for him, his perky bum raised in the air anticipating Louis' hand, he doesn't hate the idea..._ _

__"I'm stupid I'm sorry. I won't ask you again, pretend I never said anything." Harry buries his head into his knees._ _

__"I..." Louis takes a deep breath. "I can spank you."_ _

__Harry's head perks up. "Really? Right now?" He looks relieved._ _

__"Um... sure. Bend over the coffee table."_ _

__Harry promptly stands and unbuckles his jeans, pulling them down his long legs. He turns and bends as instructed. "I'm ready."_ _

__Louis doesn't know how he's going to make it through this. He enjoys seeing Harry present himself, it's incredibly sexy. But now the spotlight is on him and he feels frozen in place._ _

__He gives Harry's bum cheek a little rub, getting used to the feeling. "Are you sure?"_ _

__"Mhm" Harry hums._ _

__Louis draws back his hand and gives the cheek a little tap._ _

__"Harder, much harder." Harry breathes deeply._ _

__"I guess..." He brings his hand down again in a harder blow, this time leaving a slight pink flush on Harry's skin._ _

__"Lou please." Harry begs. "I need it harder."_ _

__Louis winds back his arm and smacks Harry's ass as hard as he can, making Harry gasp. This time it leaves behind a fully formed red handprint. He feels a rush of power, it feels _good_ to hit Harry. Oh my god it shouldn't feel good. He panics._ _

__"Harry are you ok? That was way too hard I'm so sorry." He blurts out a bunch of apologies._ _

__"No no, that was so good thank you. More? Please?" Harry begs_ _

__Louis looks at Harry's flushed skin. "More? How many more?"_ _

__"Ten?" Harry says hopefully._ _

__"I don't think I can." Louis objects._ _

__"Five?"_ _

__Louis considers it. "Fine, five."_ _

__He lays another five spanks on Harry's ass, each one as hard as he can. By the third, Harry is moaning into the table. His skin is bright red now and hot to the touch._ _

__When Louis is finished he sinks down on the couch behind Harry, feeling way too many conflicting emotions. "You liked that Harry?"_ _

__"Yes, so much thank you! Lou don't know how much better I feel now." Harry sighs content._ _

__"But do you actually enjoy the pain part? Or is it just the relief from being punished?" Louis needs to understand what's going on in Harry's head if he's going to be ok with what he just did to him._ _

__"Both." Harry admits. "I guess I'm a little bit of a masochist... but I also get a lot of satisfaction once it's over."_ _

__"Ok um.." Louis feels his pants tighten and realizes he is hard. Rock hard. He has no idea why. "Get dressed please."_ _

__Harry pulls up his pants and kisses Louis on the lips. " Oh Lou..." He notices the bulge. "Do you want me to suck you off?"_ _

__"No!" Louis replies immediately. "I shouldn't have enjoyed that, I...I'm really confused right now. Do I have to do that again next time you feel bad about something?"_ _

__"Do you want to?"_ _

__"Kind of"_ _

__"Then I'd love it if you did."_ _

__Louis pulls Harry's hands into his lap. "And you're _sure_ you liked me doing that?" __

____Harry nods._ _ _ _

____"Does that make me abusive? I don't want to be the one hurting you Haz." He closes his eyes and pictures Harry unconscious on the bathroom floor._ _ _ _

____"I don't think so. I'm giving you full consent, if I wasn't enjoying it I would tell you and you'd stop right?"_ _ _ _

____"Right, of course." He thinks for a moment, deciding on his terms. "I'm only spanking you on your bum, and never more then ten. Even ten is too many...and only when you _really_ feel like you need it. OK?"_ _ _ _

____Harry nods happily. "You're amazing Lou, thank you so much for taking care of me. Thats what this is for me."_ _ _ _

____Louis rests his forehead against his, thinking about all the ways that Harry is different from any guy he'd had feelings for in the past. The way his presence makes everything else fade into the background. His dimpled smile, dark curls, green eyes..._ _ _ _

____"I love you Harry. " Louis' voice trembles a little. "I know its so fast but I can't help it. You're all I think about, I would do literally anything for you."_ _ _ _

____"I love you too." Harry has a tear running down his cheek. "So much, you really have no idea."_ _ _ _


	22. Chapter 22

 

Give a little time to me or burn this out,

We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,

All I want is the taste that your lips allow,

My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

Louis leans harder into Harry's warm embrace, feeling the taller boy's arms wrap protectively around him. They had kissed and cuddled on the couch for hours earlier that day, but somehow still needed more of each other's touch.

The outdoor venue was on the small side, with a crowd of about 200 people. As the sun set it created a glow on the grey brick and neat landscaping. There were people of all ages, from teenage hipsters to elderly couples, all there to watch Ed Sheeran.

As much as Louis didn't want to admit it, Ed was pretty damn good. He strummed an acoustic guitar and used his loop pedal to layer multiple harmonies, adding depth to his sound. The simple lyrics of love songs suited his voice, a true raw talent.

The show goes on for 45 minutes, and Louis is really enjoying himself. Being against Harry's body is like dying and going to heaven. Yes that is saccharine, but he really doesn't care. He is completely enamoured.

Once the set ends, Louis and Harry make their way through the crowd to get beer from the vender. Not long after receiving their drinks, they hear a familiar voice a few metres away.

"Glad you could make it out lads!" Ed approaches, a guitar bag draped over his shoulder.

"You were great man, we really enjoyed it." Harry commends.

Louis can't help but feel a tinge of resentment towards the singer. Even though he had invited them both, he sensed that Ed's intentions were not entirely pure. He rests his hand on Harry's lower back as Ed comes closer.

"Harry, that last song was about you." Ed eyes him like prey. "Did you like the lyrics?"

 _What were the lyrics..._ Louis wracks his brain. _'Lay on me?' No no it was 'Lay it all on me.' What the actual fuck?_

"Erm yeah..." Harry looks a little uncomfortable. "The loop machine was cool, never seen anyone use one of those before." He tries to turn the conversation in a different direction.

"I know right? I've had people accuse me of not playing live, they think it's a pre-recording." He laughs a little. "I do purely acoustic sets sometimes too, I could give you a private show love, would you like that?"

Louis interjects without thinking, letting his sassy side shine. "I can't imagine a better way to spend the day, thank you for your kind offer." He says icily, making Ed take his eyes off of Harry for the first time.

"Wha'? Oh not you bootylicious, I was talking to your pretty friend here. Those full lips of yours should be put to good use if you know what I mean." Ed turns back to a gawking Harry.

Louis can feel his blood begin to boil. _Stay calm._ He commands himself. He does not want to snap front of Harry, but this ginger fuck is practically begging for it.

"Has anyone ever pulled your curly hair beautiful?" Ed takes a step closer and Louis can smell alcohol on his breath. "Cause I can imagine myself yanking on it while you're on your knees, rocking my world."

Louis holds himself back for a moment longer, but then Ed reaches out to touch Harry's hair and...

"Keep your fucking hands off my boyfriend or I will unkindly lose my shit." Louis grits his teeth and pulls Harry in closer. Harry glues himself to his side, appreciating Louis' possessiveness.

"Woah buddy no need to get upset. Last time I checked in you were a just a _coworker_ , unless something's changed?" Ed taunts.

"It's really none of your goddamn business actually." Louis spits back. "Harry isn't interested so you can stop embarrassing yourself now."

Ed just rolls his eyes. "He's interested, I can see it in his eyes. Dunno why he's wasting so much time with the likes of you, he must be awfully tired of your squeaky voice by now."

"You must be blind then because I only have eyes for Louis." Harry says plainly. "In fact, we're leaving now, come on babe." He takes Louis' hand and leads towards the car, abandoning their full beers and never looking back. They're silent the whole way, Louis trying to keep his anger under control and Harry unsure what to say.

When Louis sinks into the drivers seat he doesn't make a move to put the key in the ignition. To be fair what he would love more than anything right now is to chain smoke until his nerves calm down but he turns to Harry instead.

"I'm sorry about what I said back there. I know it wasn't my place, technically you can talk to anyone you want. But he was being really disrespectful and to be honest, I already think of you as mine Harry. If that's not what you want I understand."

Harry's face lights up. "Can I please be yours? That is all I want."

Louis cups Harry's chin and strokes his bottom lip tenderly with his thumb. "Yes baby, you're my boyfriend now, and I am all yours."

Harry presses further into his hand. "I love you Louis."

"Love you too." Louis leans in and replaces his thumb with his lips, kissing Harry ardently as he inhales his scent.

Harry cups his neck to pull him in closer, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue into Louis' eager mouth. Louis moans softly, but shortly after pulls off to look into Harry's eyes. "Let's continue this at home, there are so many things I want to do to you, but I want our first time to be special."

"Ok yeah." Harry fails to compose himself, eyeing Louis' body and palming himself a little through his jeans. "Drive fast, I want you inside me babe."


	23. Chapter 23

 

Louis shoves Harry's chest backwards, seating him on the edge of the bed. Enjoying the feeling of hovering tall over his boyfriend, he lifts Harry's shirt up over his head then steps in between his spread legs to admire his fit body.

"God you're so perfect." Louis gushes as he runs his hands down Harry's shoulders, chest, then latches onto his waist, pulling him closer as he presses their groins together. Harry kisses up Louis' neck, stopping to suck a few love marks beneath his ear.

"Can we make love?" He begs in a whisper.

"Yeah baby, I'm gonna make you feel so good." Louis slowly strips out of his clothing as Harry watches. When his shirt hits the floor, he feels a little self conscious. Sure Harry has seen his body before and had voiced approval, but Louis had always been uncomfortable with his little belly. Especially being in front of Harry, who somehow had defined abdominal muscles without working out. He wraps an arm over his tummy habitually trying to cover himself, but Harry pulls it away.

"Don't hide yourself, you're so sexy babe. I absolutely adore your body." He places his hands on Louis' hips, digging his thumbs into his the skin roughly. "You make me fucking crazy." He unbuttons Louis' jeans and pulls them down in a swift motion, taking the briefs down concurrently.

He then takes Louis' hardness into his hand and begins stroking it leisurely up and down.

Louis groans, finally getting the gratification he had been craving all day. He's too worked up though and he doesn't want this to be over too soon, so he reluctantly pushes off Harry's hand and steps back so he's out of reach.

"I want those pants on the floor babe." He commands, enjoying a bit of control over Harry.

Harry does as told, hastily pulling off his skinny jeans, not bothering to undo them first.

"On the bed love." Louis nods his head towards the bed and Harry scrambles up, resting back on his hands and eyeing Louis for further instructions.

 

Louis has never been so assertive in the bedroom. Usually he would initiate the act and Zayn would take over, pushing Louis into the position he wanted then fucking him senseless. He'd enjoyed the submission of having someone else dominate. With Harry however, Louis felt that he had more of the power. The worst part of all was the small part in the back of Louis mind that wanted to turn Harry over and spank his bum until it was full of hand prints like earlier that day. Something about the red skin and knowing that _he_ did that to Harry drove him a little wild. Yet he pushes these thoughts aside, not entertaining them for a moment longer, because Harry wanted to make love, and it was going to be goddamn romantic.

He crawls across the bed and kisses Harry lustfully, feeling his cock brush against Harry's below him. On the sharp end of each and every exhale he can smell Harry's cologne.

_Fuck I am not going to last long._

"You want me inside you babe?" He says lewdly against Harry's chin as he runs his teeth along the stubble.

"Yeah.. I need your cock Louis, please fuck me."

"I'll take care of you babe don't worry." He leans across the bed, opens the drawer and grabs the bottle of lube. Next he opens the box of condoms, which had sat untouched for years and probably expired, and... and empty. _Shit._

Louis suddenly feels entirely out of his depth. For starters he's usually a bottom. He's only topped a handful of times with Zayn, and he was given continuous specific instructions. Now he has to decide if they should proceed without protection.

"Did you and Dan use condoms?"

"Always."

"And you've never been with anyone else?"

"Correct."

Louis thinks it over. "I've recently been tested- negative of course- and the only person I've been bare with is Zayn. "I can run to the store if you want me to use one anyway... I probably should, it's not a good habit to get into."

"No, I want you to feel all of me." Harry looks up at him, still patiently lying on the bed.

Harry's words send a rush of blood flow to Louis' already hard cock, making it pulse. He slams the drawer closed and returns to reposition himself, but Harry rolls over and props himself onto his hands and knees, tucking his chin into his shoulder.

"No love, lay on your back, I want to see your face." Louis says lovingly.

Harry turns back around, looking confused. "We're gonna have sex though?"

"Yes of course." Louis studies his puzzled expression.

'"Like this?" Harry lies back against the pillows, seeming to have no idea what's going on.

Louis rubs Harry's thigh. "Have you only done doggystyle?"

Harry nods once.

"We're gonna do it like this love, it's more intimate." Louis taps on Harry's shin and Harry gets the hint, bending his knees.

He opens the lube and puts a little on his finger, receiving another look from Harry.

_Did Dan not even fucking prep him?_

"What's the gel for?" Harry asks small.

"The lube?" Louis holds up the bottle figuring Harry was used to a different kind.

"Oh, never used that before."

"Never used KY brand you mean?"

"Never used lube."

_Jesus Christ._

"It's gonna make it hurt less." Louis adds a little more directly to Harry's hole, making the taller boy flinch. "It will warm up." Louis assures him.

He watches Harry's face as he slowly inserts his index finger into his tight hole. Harry's body is tense and his face is scrunched up until Louis' finger grazes his prostate.

"Ohhh." Harry bucks his hips a little as Louis pushes in and out, hitting his sensitive spot repeatedly. Louis is relieved, not really knowing what he's doing and glad he's making Harry react this way. He pulls out and enters two fingers this time, retracing his path to make Harry gasp out his name. He experimentally scissors his fingers for a little while, watching Harry's hole stretch, then pulls out just enough to slip in a third. Harry is moaning desperately now, tilting his hips to meet Louis' fingers at each thrust and hit his prostate even harder. Louis's hard cock begins leaking precum, and he decides it's time to fuck his boyfriend properly.

When he pulls his fingers out Harry whimpers at the emptiness. "Don't worry, m' gonna fill you up again." Louis promises.

Louis coats himself in lube then presses his tip against Harry's hole. It's wet, warm and inviting.

"Ready for me?" Louis studies Harry's face for any sign of uncertainty.

"I'm ready." Harry's eyes are glossy and his lips are swollen from kissing.

Louis enters him painstakingly slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on his boyfriend's beautiful face.

Harry's breath hitches when Louis finally grazes his prostate, barely making contact at first. Then Louis pulls his hips back and snaps them forward, ramming into Harry and making him yell out a series of breathy profanities. Louis continues thrusting forward, letting himself drag along Harry's tight walls, filling the room with heavy breathing and slapping skin. Harry's body rocks in sync with his motions.

Now that he's figured out his rhythm, Louis lowers himself down enough to capture Harry's lips with his own, whispering "I love you so much" against his mouth, and feeling the vibrations of Harry's reciprocation.

Being inside of Harry is the most intense feeling he has ever experienced, and he knows Harry feels the same way. Louis wishes he could freeze time and live in this moment forever, but his body has other intentions. He feels his orgasm building up inside his groin, and there is no mental imagery strong enough to stop it.

So he pulls out.

Before Harry can whine in protest, Louis pushes himself back onto his stomach and positions his head between Harry's legs. Harry goes silent, unsure of what is happening until he feels Louis's tongue on his slightly stretched hole. Louis licks tentatively around the rim. He's gaping, only slightly. His plan backfires however as the intimacy of his actions and the taste of Harry make him want to come even more. He strokes Harry's cock with his hand while plunging his tongue in and out of his hole, until Harry breaks his silence. "I need to come."

"Not yet." Louis' breath against his skin causes Harry to beg. "Please Lou I need to so bad."

Louis pleasures him with his hand and mouth for a few seconds longer, before crawling back over Harry, aligning himself and plunging balls deep. Harry is a disheveled mess of moans and pleas, waiting for permission to finish.

As Louis feels his orgasm build once more he grants it. "Come babe."

Harry moans loudly, squirting a huge load onto his stomach. Louis follows immediately after, coming deep inside of his lover as he leans in and presses their sweaty foreheads together.

They pant as they come down from their highs, and Louis collapses onto Harry's chest, which is slick with sweat and come but he doesn't mind at all. Harry holds him close, returning slowly back to reality. "That was....best sex...so in love with you." Is all he can muster.


	24. Chapter 24

 

It had been less than two days since their fight, and Zayn hadn't stopped thinking about Louis for even a second. He moped around his apartment, chain smoking and staring at his cell phone in hopes that Louis would text him. Every so often he would type out a long message to Louis, explaining all of his thoughts and feelings, but then he would chicken out and delete it.

There was nothing worse than losing something he'd never really had to begin with. Deep in his heart he had always hoped that one day Louis would realize what he had and fully commit. The only thing getting him by was clinging to the small chance that the space between them would make Louis see how much he was missing. Sure it had only been one weekend apart, but they'd never went that long before without at least a text or phone call, and the fact that they had left on such a bad note made it feel like months.

Zayn hated himself for being so weak. For needing someone so badly. Someone who clearly didn't need him at all. To make things worse, he knew that Louis was at home with Harry, a boy who could steal anyones heart and had clearly won Louis'. 

Loving Louis hurt so badly.

He begins to type out yet another message.

_I don't understand how after all these years I can mean nothing to you. I've done nothing but support you for years and this is how you treat me? I'm completely in love with you, you daft idiot, don't you ducking get it?_

He's about to fix the autocorrect back to "fucking" when his phone rings and it startles him so badly that he drops it. When he retrieves his phone from the floor he see's a name that makes his heart flutter.

 

<3 Louis <3

mobile

 

Louis had added the '<3's himself but Zayn secretly loved it and never deleted them.

He debates letting it go to voicemail but his heart is beating too fast and he's never wanted someone to call him so badly in his life so he answers.

"Hello?"

"Hey Z, having a good weekend?" Louis sounds chipper.

"Um no not really."

"What's wrong babe?"

 _Babe?!_ "Are you kidding me? We had a huge fight on Friday, did you hit your head or something?" Zayn rubs his knuckle against his eyebrow in frustration.

"If I did would you stitch me up real nice." Louis says coyly.

Zayn balances his phone on his shoulder so he can light another cigarette. "If this is your idea of being funny I'm not in the mood right now."

"Sorry sorry. I thought you'd be ok by now, you've never stayed mad at me before."

"This is different, this is an accumulation of all the times I've put your needs before mine and you've never reciprocated." Zayn pauses for a drag. "This is me finally realizing you're never going to change because you're a selfish asshole, one that I should never have cared about in the first place."

The line is silent for a moment.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to come over..." Louis mutters.

Zayn can't believe his best friend is still ignoring his feelings. "Come over for what? I see no point in continuing our friendship."

"You don't mean that." The sadness in Louis' voice is evident now.

"Maybe I just need some time to cool off. To get over it." Zayn tries to be reasonable.

"Get over what? We had a fight, we were drinking, big deal. We both said things we didn't mean but we can just forget about it now and go back to the way things were right?." Louis sounds a little panicked.

"You're so fucking dense sometimes." Zayn erupts. "That's exactly what I don't want, to be your goddamn crutch again. I need to move on with my own life and stop being a pawn in yours. You're not good for me Louis. Maybe you didn't do it on purpose, I'd love to think that's true. And, yeah, I let you use me from the day that we first met but regardless I need to start thinking about myself."

Another long pause and Zayn can hear sniffling. It pulls at his heart strings more than he'd like it to.

"Lou please don't do this. You don't need me anyway, you've got Harry now and you owe it to him to be monogamous. I know you really like him. You can't have us both, it's that simple."

"Can you just come over?" Louis begs softly.

"No babe." Zayn cringes as the pet name slips out of his mouth. "Just no."

"Harry's not here. He went to look at apartments...He didn't want me to come with him for some reason." His voice is laced with sadness.

_Now this all makes sense._

"Right so you're feeling... let me guess, lonely? Which is why you're calling me up and acting like our fight didn't happen, so I can come over there and comfort fuck you?" Zayn gestures with his smoking hand sending cigarette ash all over his coffee table.

"No it's not like that I swear! I agree that it's best for us to stop the physical part of our relationship. Harry and I made things official yesterday actually. I'm a one-man man now. Just come over and hang out?"

Zayn's stomach drops. He can feel his eyes watering again. Louis should not have this kind of effect on him.

"I'm busy, can't come sorry." He says curtly.

Louis groans. "Doing what? Are you taking your mom out?"

"Um yes." He hadn't planned on seeing her this weekend as he was too emotionally exhausted, but that was the perfect excuse.

"Oh. Well maybe another time then." 

Zayn knows the exact face Louis is making at this moment, and it is blessing that he's not there to see it because he would crack immediately, taking Louis into his arms and holding him until he smiled again.

But he's not there to see it.

"Maybe." He replies unconvincingly, knowing it was as powerful as saying 'No'.

"Kay well...bye." Louis rushes off the phone with one audible sob before the line goes dead.


	25. Chapter 25

Louis wakes up late in the afternoon to an empty bed and a written note from Harry.

_Good Morning Tommo!_

_I left to go apartment hunting, woo! Time to finally get out of your hair. Your sexy tousled hair..._

_Anyways hope you don't miss me too bad. You were so cute and peaceful sleeping that I couldn't wake you. Have you been having nightmares lately cause I haven't seen you stir since that first night... Anyways I'll be home later!_

_P.S. Last night was amazing :)_

_P.S.S. Let's do that again tonight._

_P.S.S.S. I love you lots ♡_

The cuteness of the note makes Louis smile, but he still doesn't understand why Harry had left without him. For starters, he didn't have a car, so he'd be bussing around the city. More importantly they were a couple now so shouldn't he want his boyfriend to come along? He chalks it up to Harry's insecurity with being a burden and decides it's something they will work on later.

His day only worsens when he phones Zayn to invite him over, and hangs up minutes later in tears. In one phone call he had been called a dense, selfish asshole, and basically lost his best friend forever.

So Louis bides his time until Harry returns by setting up his fish tank, and it takes him longer than expected. The salt water has to be made perfectly with a specific gravity of 1.0025, then he arranges the live rocks, corals and plants which are probably happy to upgrade from their plastic containers. Next the filter is assembled and it starts to look promising.

Damp from saltwater, he finally checks his phone and sees that it's almost dinner time and Harry still isn't home. He resents the fact that Harry has no cellphone, thus he can't check to see if he's ok, nor does he know where to go looking for him. Harry could be anywhere.

He grows more and more impatient as the evening drags on, and begins to really worry, but there isn't much he can do besides sit and wait. When the door finally opens at 7:34, he isn't sure if he's happy to see Harry of angry that he was gone for so long.

"Haz, you've been gone all day...." He rushes to the door and hugs Harry tightly in his arms for a moment, then grabs Harry's shoulders, pushing him back to give him a once over, checking that he isn't hurt. "I'm just glad you're back." He hugs him again.

"Sorry for worrying you love, I looked at a bunch of apartments all over LA, I ended up finding a place though!" Harry rubs Louis' back to comfort him.

"Already?" Louis' heart sinks. He was hoping to have Harry stay for much longer. Possibly forever. He backs out of the hug and steps back.

"Yeah it's... "Harry bites his lip. "Well don't freak out but it's in Compton."

"Like Straight Outta Compton? Tell me you're joking. That's a dangerous area, you could get robbed or shot! Not to mention it's like half an hours drive from the hospital. You don't even have a car so that's a forty minute bus ride plus you'll have to walk a bit to get there... so basically you're going to die and I'm never going to see you again." Louis can hear himself being irrational. He knows he's making a mess of things. But the idea of Harry, the boy he loves, living forty minutes away in a dangerous neighborhood makes him crazy.

Harry takes Louis' hand and leads him into the living room, running his fingers through his hair as he takes a seat on the couch. "Babe listen, it's the only place I can afford for the next little while. It's not as bad as you think, we can go look at it together if you like. Maybe once you see the building and stuff you'll be less worried."

"Why don't you just stay here then? I've got an extra bedroom-not that you'd really use it, and we can carpool to work, it's perfect." Louis pulls Harry's hands into his lap. "I've never indicated that you needed to leave have I? You don't have to move out."

Harry sighs. "I need to experience independence for once in my life. I can't just go from living off one boyfriend to the next. I literally came straight from Dan's place to yours and never left. I don't know what its like to be on my own and that scares me."

"I'm trying to be understanding about that, but my boyfriend is moving out to go and live in a far, unsafe neighbourhood and that's a tough pill to swallow." Louis looks at his lap. "I like falling asleep next to you, and waking up together. I know we did things ass backwards by you living here right away but now I really don't want you to go."

Harry looks pained. "I like those things too babe, I really do, but it's not about that. Maybe once you see the place you won't be as worried. Yeah it's a little far but we can make it work, I know we can."

Louis huffs. "I'm sure you could move to Mars and we could make that work too, but what's the point? Unless...do you need space from me? Is seeing me at work and at home too much?"

"Of course not, I could spend every minute of every day with you." Harry says genuinely.

"What if I let you pay half the rent? We could be like roommates, roommates who sleep in the same bed. You'd be helping me out too cause my rent is absolutely stupid. It would be cheaper, safer, more convenient and you'd get to see me all the time." Louis jets out his bottom lip.

"I don't know. I feel like I need to try living on my own but..."

"But everything I'm saying makes more sense? Yeah I get that a lot." Louis interrupts.

"We've been dating for less than a day and you're asking me to move in with you?" A smile creeps onto Harry's face.

"I most certainly am." Louis slides off the couch onto one knee. "Harry erm...what's your middle name?"

"Edward."

"Harry Edward Styles, would you do me the absolute honour of making me your lawfully wedded roommate?"

Harry smiles and shakes his head. "You're a sly one Tommo but yes fine, I'll stay here. I would be honoured."

Louis put on his best announcer voice. "You may now kiss the roommate!"

They share a slow and passionate kiss, then Louis lies back on the couch and pulls harry onto himself.

"That took a lot less convincing than I expected." He muses.

Harry nips at Louis' nose. "You can be very persuasive, the pouty lip is what did me in."

"I'll keep that in mind for the future." Louis quips. "So in one weekend we've become boyfriends, had sex and now you're living with me. That's totally normal right? Most couples do that?"

"It is certainly not normal, but neither are my feelings for you." Harry gushes.

Louis' heart feels like its in overdrive. "You're kind of my whole world, not sure if you knew that or not."

"Harry styles: population one. One very sexy man named Louis Tomlinson." Harry rests his head on Louis' chest as Louis strokes his hair.

"I should probably tell you that Zayn isn't speaking to me right now. We had a fight on Friday and it was bigger than I thought apparently."

"What was the fight about." Harry pokes at Louis' chest.

"He says I'm being selfish...but it's him thats being selfish, he can't even be happy for his best friend."

Harry thinks for a moment. "So are you two still.. you know."

"No, that part of our friendship is over. I love you and I want us to do this properly. I'm sorry I should have made that clear at the beginning." Louis clarifies.

"That's ok, I would have understood if it wasn't." Harry isn't entirely truthful. "So that's why he's upset with you then?"

"No no, our sex was more out of convenience than anything, like sure he's my best friend and I love him but it's very different from the way I feel about you." Louis kisses his forehead.

Harry looks up at Louis. "Did he know that?"

"Yeah, I assume so." Louis ponders. "Actually maybe not, that would explain a lot actually. Shit..."

"I don't want to come between you two, I want you to keep Zayn in your life. He seems really great and I know he means a lot to you. If you need some time to work things out I can still get that place for a while." Harry offers.

"Absolutely not. You're staying right here." Louis pins Harry against his body. "Don't worry about us we will figure it out. Worry about yourself because I'm about to wreck that nice little body of yours."

"You're calling _me_ little?" Harry teases.

Louis gasps. "Watch your mouth Styles or I'll spank you."

Harry perks up, and Louis can feel the mood become less playful. "Er I mean, if you want me to."

"Yeah" Harry exhales shakily. "I want you to."

They go into the bedroom and Louis lies back on the bed, unzipping his jeans and taking out his semi hard cock. "C'mere babe, suck me off a little."

Harry pulls his waistband down further then wraps his lips tightly around Louis' tip. He teases the slit with his tongue making Louis' cock harden further until it is completely rigid. Instead of taking him in further, Harry continues on the head, ignoring the shaft and making Louis buck his hips in frustration. "Jesus Harry you tease..." Harry looks up at him with glimmering eyes, provoking him further. Louis tries to grab his head to push him down onto his cock but Harry pins down his arms. Thats when Louis realizes what's happening, Harry is doing this on purpose, to get punished.

"That's it, take off your pants and straddle me backwards. I want your ass up in the air. You're getting ten."

Harry does as told, sitting naked on Louis' lap with one knee on each side of his body, then lifts his ass up, presenting it to Louis' face.

Louis gropes greedily at his bum, spreading the cheeks to admire his hole, thoroughly enjoying his view.

"You're gorgeous babe." Louis admires his boyfriend. "I'm gonna turn those cheeks crimson."

Harry's breathing is uneven. He arches his back eagerly .

Louis grips into his ass harder, making Harry hiss, then lands his first spank on Harry's right cheek. "Count for me babe." Harry emits a satisfied "One."

When he gets to "Seven." Harry is moaning out the numbers.

"You're enjoying this too much." Louis growls. Smacking his ass even harder.

"Eight! Oh god Lou I'm gonna come from this."

"You'd better not." Louis is temped to forgo the last two and ram himself up into Harry's ass. He snatches the bottle of lube from the dresser and applies some to his cock. "Think you can handle me without prep babe?"

Harry hums in approval, sitting down on Louis' cock so the tip is pressed against his hole.

"Go slow." Louis instructs, bracing his lovers hips to prevent him from sinking down too fast. He resists the urge to thrust up into Harry hard and fast.

Harry carefully lowers himself down, revelling from the burn of his stretch. When he bottoms out against Louis' body, there is an immense pressure on his prostate and it takes the wind out of him.

"I've got you lovely." Louis assures him.

"Louis- fu- fuck me" Harry gasps out, and Louis does. Holding onto hips, he guides himself deliberately in and out, trying to be gentle. Harry grows impatient and starts bouncing on his cock, slamming down hard.

"You naughty boy." Louis scolds. He lifts Harry up to the tip of his dick and lands a hard spank on his red ass.

"Nine!" Harry is about to lose it. Louis brings his boyfriend's body down on himself for several more thrusts then comes hard inside of him, slapping him as hard as he can.

"Ten!" Harry's body convulses as his hot white stream shoots onto the bed sheets. Louis fucks him through his orgasm until he goes flaccid.

Louis feels an urgent need to hold his boyfriend, to bring him down from the intensity of their violent love making, so he lifts him off and pulls him down to his chest.

"Hazza baby, you did so amazing, I love you so much babe you're absolutely perfect."

Harry is keen from praise. He nestles into Louis' neck and places soft kisses there.

"You take such good care of me Lou, I love you more."

"How's your bum?"

"Sore. In the best possible way."


	26. Chapter 26

Zayn welcomes the morning rush of his shift. When he arrives at the 8th floor he is bombarded by several of the night shift nurses, eager to fill him in on their patients so they can go home. He’s able to keep his mind clear of the Louis situation as he attends to his patients, checking their vitals and making sure they’re comfortable. The man in 2B had vomited all over himself, so Zayn took his time cleaning him up and getting him a new gown and sheets, all the while glancing up at the clock because it’s almost time. Every morning a group of techs from the lab would arrive on the elevator to do their morning blood collection rounds. Zayn knows they exact time that they arrive, not because it affects his job, but because that’s when he might get to see Niall. 

 

Zayn tries not to overthink about how much he looks forward to it every day. He would always be sure to keep an eye out, and would feel a little disappointed if Niall didn’t show up. The blonde boy was like a ray of sunshine. Wherever he went, he’d spread positive vibes. He was always so happy, so generous, so cute… 

Zayn putters around in the hallway, pretending to browse the supply cart while periodically peering down the hall to check if anyone’s coming. He smiles when he sees a blonde head pop around the corner. Niall saunters over carrying his phlebotomy tray. His scrubs are bright azure colour that matches his eyes. 

“Good morning!” Niall is cheerful as ever.

“It is now.” Zayn replies without thinking.

“What?”

 _Oh my god why did I say that…_ “Just anxious to get the ‘lytes back on Ms. Safar” He lies, praying that electrolytes were part of her order. “Can you collect her first and pod it down?”

“O’ course! Anything for you.” Niall winks and nudges Zayn’s arm with his elbow, making the raven haired boy’s stomach flutter.

They enter Ms. Safar’s private room together and Niall begins examining her. She is an arabic woman in her 30’s who doesn’t speak english. Her left arm is completely encased in a cast, and there’s an IV running into the median cubital vein of her right arm. 

“I’ll shut that off for you.” Zayn offers before Niall has to ask. (Their hospital’s policy is to discontinue the IV fluids for 3 minutes before collecting blood from that arm, to prevent dilution of the sample.) 

“Thanks, it’s nice to have friends in high places.” Niall jokes.

Zayn smiles. “I’d say you’re the one in a high place, that lab coat makes you look awfully professional.”

“Come on look at you, strutting around with your stethoscope around your neck like McDreamy.” Niall smirks. “Don’t act like you don’t know it too.”

Zayn laughs. “That’s secretly the only reason we wear them. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Can I try it on?” Niall asks shyly. 

“My stethoscope?” Zayn pulls it off over his head. “Sure, if I can try your lab coat.”

They exchange articles and Zayn feels like a kid playing dress up. He leans onto the window ledge and just out his hip. “Wanna play doctor?” He says trying to sound debonair.

Niall wraps the stethoscope around is neck and puts on a suave persona. “Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that I should take you out.”

This prompts a back-and forth of medical pick up lines.

“No that’s not an epi-pen in my pants, I’m just happy to see you.”

“Is your name osteoporosis? Cause you’re giving me a serious bone condition.”

“If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so that I could unzip your jeans.”

“I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.”

They continue until they’re both laughing hysterically. Zayn’s lung capacity is pretty shit so he starts having a coughing fit and has to brace himself on the ledge.

“Woah man are you ok?” Niall rushes over and rests his hand on Zayn’s back as he continues hacking. 

“Yeah, just smoke too damn much.” Zayn manages to catch his breath. He looks up and sees a pained look on Niall’s face. 

“You’re so young.” Niall says like it’s a new fact.

“Started early.” Zayn mumbles, taking off the coat to pass it back. He doesn’t like the way Niall’s smile has been wiped off of his face so he changes the subject. “How’s your treehouse coming along?”

Niall glances at his watch then begins tying a tourniquet around Mr. Safar’s arm. “It’s great! I’ve got the walls built up, now I’ve gotta get the roof on. Actually…wanna come over tonight and help me out? I could use another pair of hands?”

“I’m not doing anything so sure.” Zayn tries not to sound overly eager.

“Awesome.” Niall is barely paying attention however as he’s now moved the tourniquet down to her wrist and is examining her hand. “She’s got terrible veins.”

Ms. Safar looks up at him with concern. “Ma almushkila?”

“Mjrd aleuthur ealaa alwarid la taqliq.” Zayn assures her that everything is fine.

“You speak arabic?” Niall asks as he inserts a butterfly needle into a tiny vein on her knuckle.  


“Yeah you didn’t know that?” Zayn fails to overt his eyes. The patient’s bed is quite low so Niall is bent over, his round bum looks incredible in his tight scrub pants. _God I’m a slut._ Zayn thinks to himself.

“No, that's really…cool.” Niall turns to look back at him as the blood flows down the line into his tube.

“Guess so.” Zayn suddenly feels a little flustered. 

Niall finishes up, pulling out the needle and placing a bandage over the puncture site.

“I’m surprised you got that, you had nothing to work with.” Zayn looks down at his patient’s swollen hands. “Good thing I ran into you.”

“Good thing.” Niall flashes him a toothy smile. He puts the needle into a sharps bin and removes his gloves. “See you tonight then?”

“I can’t wait.” 

And Zayn means it. The rest of the day he watches the clock move at a torturous pace. When his shift is finally over, Zayn checks his hair in the staff bathroom mirror before heading to the parking lot. As he approaches his car he spots Harry, and for a moment he thinks he’s hurt. He appears to be slouched over on the hood of Louis’ car. As he gets closer however, he realizes that Louis is underneath him, being pressed up against the car as Harry kisses him. 

Zayn pretends he didn’t see and gets into his car, glad he’s going to see Niall because it somehow makes it all seem ok. 

—————————————

“Isn’t this the best! Just us men, building stuff with our hands, drinking beer and eating pizza.” Niall lets his legs dangle off the side of the treehouse as he grabs another slice.

Zayn is seated as far from the opening as he can with his back against the wall. “Yup, the best.”

“You look a little pale, everything ok?” Niall tosses his crust off the edge.

“Yeah just…heights.” Zayn tries to be brave.

“I’m proud of you for coming up here.” Niall assures him. “Even if it took 30 minutes of convincing.”

“The only reason I came up was for the beer.”Zayn thinks to himself that the real reason he came up was for the blue eyed boy across from him.  
They hadn’t done any actually building yet, just sat in the treehouse for two hours. Niall had brought up the beer and pizza, climbing the rope ladder with one hand.

Niall skids himself back to sit beside Zayn. “You sure you’re ok?”

Zayn isn’t. The combination of his acrophobia and Niall being so close is making him a little dizzy. “I…” He closes his eyes, feeling himself slip out of reality a little.

“Shit shit shit, are you going to faint? Please don’t faint I dunno how I’ll get you down!” Niall starts to freak out but Zayn shakes his head. 

“I won’t faint, don’t worry. Just need a second to remind myself I’m not gonna die.”

“You’re safe, so safe.” Niall scoots a little closer and Zayn wraps his arm around his shoulders. 

“Do I make you feel safe?” Niall whispers.

“Actually you do.” Zayn feels his panic attack pass but he chooses to keep his arm around his friend’s shoulder simply because he can. “You will have to call the fire department to get me down though.”

Niall laughs and its the most genuine sound in the world. 

“Hey, what do you call the tool I used to build this?” He challenges.

Zayn opens his eyes. “Huh?”

“A Niall gun. Get it? Like nail gun?” Niall giggles adorably.

Zayn can’t get over it. “God you’re so cute.”

Now it’s Niall’s turn to look confused. He doesn’t pull away but his body stiffens a little under Zayn’s arm and Zayn wants to throw himself off the treehouse.

“Fuck I’m sorry, I’m not hitting on you, I’m just flirty with my friends sometimes. I’ll stop I promise.”

Niall is quiet for an entire agonizing minute. “No that’s ok you don’t have to stop.” He decides. “It just made me feel…different. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Ok.” Zayn is feeling a million emotions. “Want me to go?”

“Stay.” Niall relaxes back against Zayn’s body. “It’s nice having a friend around.”

Zayn ponders on the fact that their current position is a little more than friendly. 

_Why must I have feelings for my straight friend._


	27. Chapter 27

"I just don't understand why I need one." Harry peers into the display case of smartphones, frowning. Louis had dragged him to the mobile store at the mall, insisting it was time to get a new phone.

"You need one so that you can be a normal 20 year old in the 21st century. Not to mention, if you ever go scavenging around Compton without me again, at least I can check up on you to make sure you're not kidnapped or something." Louis flips through a brochure of different data plans.

"Only kids get kidnapped." Harry pouts. "Hence the wording."

"You know what I mean." Louis mumbles, trying to read the fine print. "Like abducted."

"Abducted by aliens?" Harry mocks.

Louis sighs and abandons the brochure. "Yes Hazza, by aliens. ET is roaming the streets of LA and he's looking for curly haired boys with no cell phones. Jeez I'm trying to be a protective boyfriend here, but you sure are making it difficult."

"You're cute when you're frustrated." Harry smiles down at him. "So cute and tiny."

"You know what, fine. Don't get a phone." Louis crosses his arms trying to look tough. "When a man in a white van kidnaps you and takes you to his underground bunker to live out your life as his sex slave, I won't be able to find you. I hope you're happy."

"Is he offering me candy? Cause I'd say that's a pretty fair trade." Harry continues to egg him on, enjoying the way Louis clenches his small fists.

Louis scoffs. "He'll offer you nibbles from his candy g-string. Satisfied?" 

Harry's eyes light up. "You should get one of those! Do they actually make them? Like a candy necklace for your butt?"

"Ew." Louis wrinkles his nose. "You want to eat candy from my ass?"

Harry blushes a little. "You ate my a-" Remembering they're in a crowded store, he drops his voice to a hushed whisper. "You ate my ass...remember?"

"I sure do." Louis makes no attempts to be quiet. "Ate that tasty ass of yours like my life depended on it."

A few customers turn and glare at them. Louis winks in return.

"Lou!" Harry squeaks, looking around. "People are staring at us now..."

"Jealous, all of them." Louis gives Harry's bum a squeeze. 

Harry mouths an apology to an onlooking woman, who appears to be storming off to complain to a manager.

"If you're trying to distract me, your plan failed." Louis steps up to the counter as the man working finishes up with another customer. "Now that you've got me thinking about your perfect bum, I'm even more inclined to protect you."

"I think you care about me." Harry coos.

"Course I care about you. Now what about that green one? It would match your eyes babe." Louis points to an iPhone 5C on display.

"An iPhone?" Harry fidgets with the bottom of his shirt. "I was thinking more like a flip phone or something."

"I don't think they make flip phones anymore gramps." Louis shakes his head in amazement. "The 5C's are old models now so it won't cost anything crazy, plus then we can use facetime and imessage."

"You mean for all the times we're apart?" Harry rolls his eyes. "Cause so far..."

"I'll get sick if your stupid face soon enough. Won't want you hangin' around as much then." Louis jokes. When he's met with silence, he turns to see a devastated Harry. 

_Shit, I forgot what a puddle of insecurities my boyfriend is._

Louis quickly pulls Harry into his arms. "Sorry sorry sorry, I'm kidding Haz, really I am. I can be a dick sometimes, but I should never joke like that with you. I could never get sick of you babe, I love you too damn much. You have a tasty ass, remember?" He rubs Harry's bum to try and cheer him up.

"It's ok I'm too sensitive." Harry buries his face into Louis' hair. "I know you love me. I just worry that you'll get to know me better and change your mind."

"Impossible. You're perfect, so perfect, and I'm lucky you even give me the time of day." Louis assures him. 

The man behind the counter clears his throat to get their attention. "Can I help you with anything gentlemen?"

Harry doesn't budge from Louis' embrace. "Can you set me up with an iPhone 5C please. A blue one." He leans down to whisper into Louis' ear. "To match your eyes."  
————————-

“You should download Instagram too.” Louis scrolls through apps as Harry watches over his shoulder. They’ve been sitting on the bed, obsessing over the new phone since they got home.

“Isn’t that what girls use to post selfies?” Harry wonders aloud.

“Guys can use it too you sexist…You can post other things like pictures of your food and…I don’t know don’t overthink it.” Louis clicks the app.

As it downloads he opens up the camera. “Let’s take our first picture.” Louis makes a silly face and Harry kisses his cheek. “There, now you post this with the caption ‘My boyfriend is sexier than yours’ and all your friends will know.”

“You’re marking your territory aren’t you?” Harry muses.

Louis smirks. “Yup, next I’m gonna pee on your leg like a dog.”

“If you’re into that I’m down.” Harry shrugs. 

“I was kidding Haz, gross. You’d let me piss on you? Wait are you into that?” Louis’ eyes grow wide.

“No no, but I’d let you…I’d let you do just about anything to me.” Harry confesses.

Louis emits a breathy gasp, as Harry’s words go right to his pants. He quickly pulls himself together, remembering that what Harry needs right now is to gain control, not relinquish it. Not yet anyway. 

“It’s ok to set boundaries you know. It won’t make me love you less.”

Harry thinks for a moment. “In that case no beastialty”

“But Harry.” Louis looks at him with concern. “That’s my biggest kink.”

“Ok then we can do it.” Harry says immediately. 

“You’re hopeless.” Louis rolls his eyes. “I was only testing you, and for the record you failed. Like a big fat F on your forehead. You’re lucky I don’t have a Sharpie handy.”

“Because I won’t say no to you?” Harry shrinks into the pillows.

“Exactly, how do I know when you’re uncomfortable if you’ll say yes to anything? The last thing I want to do is push you into something you’re not ok with. Something that affects you, changes you…scares you. How do I know you’re really ok with me spanking you?” Louis demands.

“Well for starters that was my idea to begin with…” Harry reminds him.

“Fine you’ve got me there, but I stand by my argument.” Louis insists.

Harry rests his chin on Louis’ shoulder. “I trust you Lou, I know you wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me.”

“I’m glad…I’m glad that the shit you went through didn’t make you stop trusting people. I just don’t want to push you too far and break that trust.”

Louis thinks of Harry as a butterfly, perched gently upon his hand. So beautiful, yet so delicate. One wrong touch could crush his wings, rendering him eternally flightless. One wrong move could scare him away never to return. Louis wants so stay perfectly still, admiring his beautiful butterfly forever.

“I want this to be different for you, for both of us really. You’re coming from a relationship where you didn’t have any control over what happened, but I want us to be equals. I want us to respect each others ideas, wants and needs. That’s why it’s so important for us to be honest. Like yeah, it’s pretty clear we both get off on me spanking you. It’s a new kink I never knew I had, and maybe we can explore further, as long as we’re open so I know I’m not forcing you.”

“I promise to always be truthful with you from now on. Starting with telling you I’m very much not ok with beastialty” Harry confirms.

Louis chuckles. “Well thank god cause I was about to walk out.”

Harry smiles a little. “This is all pretty new for me, being open and having someone care about my opinions… so please be patient. I’m still finding my voice, my strength.”

“You’re strong Hazza, so strong.”

“You make me strong.”

Louis leans back into Harry’s body. 

“So…can I ask you something? Something that’s been on my mind for a while now? Kind of holding me back a little to be honest.” Harry asks small.

Louis frowns in concern. “Of course, please do.”

Harry takes a breath. “Ok so you and Zayn…you were each other’s firsts, you’ve been best friends for ages, you love each other, you have great sex…”

“Um…”

Harry closes his eyes. “Why am I here?”

“What?” Louis turns around to face him. “What the hell do you mean?”

“He gave you everything you need, more than I can ever give you. He’s smart, gorgeous, those cheekbones holy hell…He has his life together way more than I do. I can’t even compare to him. I don’t deserve you.” Harry gets more self deprecating by the second, beginning to panic. “Why would you chose me? What if you change your mind? Oh my god.. I…”

“Baby stop!” Louis finds himself speechless. “I…I don’t.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of that. I’m just happy you’re with me now, if you leave me I won’t be surprised.”

“I would never leave you! If I wanted to date Zayn I would, it’s that simple. But I don’t. I fell for you Harry. So hard and so fast it was borderline mental. I chose you without a second thought and I’ll choose you again every day. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I haven’t doubted that once. God I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” Louis feels tears run down his cheeks. He brushes the hair out of Harry’s eyes. “You asked me in your letter…I haven’t had a nightmare since the night you got hurt. Every night that we’ve held each other in my bed, I’ve woken up happy and well rested, that’s never happened before. I don’t know what it means exactly but it’s because of you, it has to be. You’re like my human dreamcatcher.”

Harry bites his lip, smiling a little. “That’s part of the reason I agreed to move in with you so soon. I love that I’m able to do that for you. To give you something back.”

“You give me so many things babe.” Louis affirms. “Everything I need I get from you.”


	28. Chapter 28

"Oh my god...he has little fingers." Harry looks down at the fetus lying in a small bucket of formalin. "He has fingers Lou, and little toes, and ears and… How could anyone… How could they..." His voice breaks off, his breathing becomes rapid.

Louis abandons the slides he's sorting and rushes over to the bench. "It's best if you don't look at those babe." He closes the lid on the bucket. "Let me take care of them from now on ok? You can do these polyps' instead." 

Harry nods solemnly. "If I could have a baby I would. Nothing would stop me. I know that sounds creepy but I just love them so much." He pushes out his stomach, a little rounder than usual from their large pancake breakfast, and rubs his hands over it. "Imagine a baby that size, growing in my belly. Our baby.”

"Why do I find that adorable? I should be running for the door right now with how ridiculous you are, but instead I'm wishing I could actually get you pregnant. What have you done to me, seriously? Should I see a doctor?" Louis can't help but smile fondly at his beaming boyfriend.

“Feel my stomach, I think he’s kicking.” 

Louis places his hands on Harry’s belly. “Oh yes, we’re gonna have a little soccer star in there aren’t we.”

"Um guys..." They turn to see Niall standing awkwardly in the doorway. 

"It's not what it looks like, yes Harry is pregnant but I'm not the father." Louis puts his hands up and backs away slowly.

"What? Why would you even... No listen, there was a guy in outpatients that says he needs to talk to Harry. I told him to wait but-"

"There's the runaway bride." Dan comes barreling in behind Niall who cowers and ducks to the side, which is good because Dan isn't slowing down and would have knocked him over.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Louis growls, stepping up to shield Harry.

"I came to talk to my boyfriend, he owe's me an explanation.” Dan demands.

Louis shakes his head. ”He's not your boyfriend and he owes you fucking nothing! In fact I'm pretty sure I owe you a death sentence!"

"Watch your language little man, and threats? Tsk tsk. Wouldn't want your boss to hear you talking to a patient like that."

"You came in through outpatients you're not a-" Dan holds up his arm revealing a hospital ID wrist band. Louis threads his fingers underneath and pulls, ripping it off. Dan fumes. "Like I was saying, you're not a patient. How did you even get that? Correction, nobody cares, now get out before I call security."

"Good luck with that, I saw four guards outside helping a lady who got her purse stolen.” Dan smirks, indicating he had something to do with it. “Nobody’s gonna come. Now step aside, I'm not here to bicker with a shrieking squirrel, I'm here to talk to Harry."

"He doesn't ever want to speak to you again, hence my intervening. You're fucking lucky we haven't gotten the cops involved yet after what you did to him you sick piece of shit, and the longer you stand there the more worth it losing my job to kick your ass becomes.” Louis threatens.

Dan laughs. ”Please, please try and fight me. Without your pretty-boy bodyguard I'll snap you like a twig little man."

"Little man, very clever. I'll show you how little I am." Louis growls, about to lunge.

"Lou wait." Harry finally speaks up.

Louis is breathing heavily. "What?"

"I'll go talk to him. Don't fight him."

“What!?" Louis squints his eyes. “You’re gonna listen to this fucker?”

Harry sighs. ”Just for a minute, I'll hear him out."

"Harry you can't be serious…”

"Step aside then, you heard him. My boyfriend and I are gonna take a walk.” Dan says triumphantly. 

"I'm not your boyfriend, and you'd better make this quick, I have nothing to say to you.” Harry snarls.

Louis watches in disbelief as Harry follows him out of the lab.

"Where are you going?” He calls after them.

"To the parking lot.” Dan states.

"To the hallway." Harry corrects him. "We'll only be a minute.

"Fine, whatever.” Dan shrugs.

\-------------------------------------

 

"Don't tell me you're dating that idiot."

"You don't even deserve to know what I'm doing with my life. Also, call him one more name and we're done talking. Did you have a point to make cause I'm working.” Harry crosses his arms impatiently.

"Don't use that tone with me you-“ Dan stops himself. “Fuck, pretend I didn't say that. I came to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm taking anger management classes now, for you. I'm learning not to snap so easily. I think I'm really getting better."

Harry rolls his eyes. ”That's nice. Anything else?"

"I'm taking them for you, didn't you hear me? So we can be together again. I know I was the problem in our relationship, that I got too angry with you, but that's a good thing, don't you see? Cause now I can fix it. I can fix everything and you can come back and we'll be fine. We can be in love again! I still love you so much.” Dan insists.

"You're out of your damn mind if you think I'd ever get back together with you. You abused me, like a lot.” Harry reminds him.

"Is this about that guy you work with? _Lewis_? Cause if he's brainwashed you then I'm gonna kill him.” Dan punches his hand for emphasis.

"This is beyond...do I need to spell it out for you?” Harry snorts. “You almost killed me, K-I-L-L, if _Louis_ hadn't stepped in-"

"Then we'd still be together.” Dan interrupts.

"Then I'd probably be dead by now.” Harry says angrily. “You'd have bashed me over the head with a toaster for burning your bagel, or stabbed me with a knife for cutting your apple slices to thick. You need serious help and I'm not sticking around while you get it. If I ever see you again I'm getting a restraining order. Consider that incredibly generous."

"You don't mean that, you don't. Just come home please, I'll show you that I've changed babe, you gotta give me a chance.” Dan begs.

Harry shakes his head. ”Nobody deserves that less than you. Now get out, we're done talking."

"Harry wait."

Harry starts walking away.

"I said wait!" Dan grabs him by the wrist, yanking him backwards.

"Let go of me.” Harry tries to pull himself free.

Dan squeezes harder. "Come with me, please just come home.”

Harry winces. “You’re hurting me, let go.”

“I’m just trying to talk to you! Stop being so difficult!” Dan starts pulling him towards the emergency exit, making Harry stumble forward. “Stop making me do this!”

“Let go of him if you want to keep that hand.” Louis snarls, stepping into the hallway. 

“Haven’t I made it clear that I’m not afraid of you? Harry’s coming home, consider this his resignation.” Dan declares.

“You don’t fucking own him!” Louis reminds him.

“Oh and you do?” Dan challenges.

Louis throws his arms in the air. “He’s his own goddamn person you moron!”

“Fine.” Dan lets go of Harry’s wrist. “Who do you want to be with, me or him. Keep in mind that if you choose him, I’m never gonna take your ass back.”

“Wow tough decision.” Harry rubs at his sore wrist. “I think I’ll go with the guy that didn’t bash my head into the sink.”

“I’m done with you then. Forever. I wanted to make this work but you blew it, you ruined it. Don’t call me when you realized you made the wrong choice.” Dan stomps his way down the hall, cursing under his breath.

As soon as he’s out of sight, Louis cradles Harry’s wrist in his hands. “He hurt you, I can’t believe it..”

“I’m so sorry” Harry hisses at the pain. “I thought he’d say his piece and leave, I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, I never should have left you alone with him in the first place. I’ll never forgive myself for putting you in danger like that, for letting him lay his hands on you. I’m supposed to protect you! I’m trying so hard not to be overbearing but fuck… Can I just stay by your side from now on? 24/7? Watch you shit and everything?”

“I do get lonely when I shit. You could sit by the toilet and sing to me maybe?” Harry smiles weakly.

“That can be arranged.” Louis kisses his wrist softly as he can.

Harry smiles more confidently. “We’re disgusting.”

“Yup, little bit.” Louis agrees.

“I hope he didn’t hurt the baby.” Harry jets out his stomach again. “Are you ok in there little Ted?”

“Oh we are not naming our son Ted.” Louis grimaces. “Too close to Ed. Another one of my favourite people.”

“Ed was right about one thing though.” Harry admits.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. “And what is that exactly?”

“You are bootylicious.” Harry admires Louis’ curves. “My bootylicious.”

“All yours babe.” Louis smiles and shakes his head. “Should we have your wrist looked at?”

“Nah it’s just a bruise, won’t be able to use my right hand for a little while. Guess you’ll have to jack me off.”

“I thought that was already the arrangement?”

“In that case I’ll take one now.” Harry says in a deep, sexy voice.

“I’m glad to see he doesn’t get to you anymore. A run-in with my ex would have me miserable for the rest of the day.” Louis ponders.

“You’ve never mentioned your ex before.” Harry point out.

Louis scuffs his shoe against the floor. “Maybe some other time.”

“Did you forget to invite me to your hallway party?” Russell calls out from the doorway.

“We didn’t forget, you just weren’t cool enough to make the guest list.” Louis explains.

“Those slides aren’t gonna sort themselves Tomlinson.” Russell reminds him.

Louis wraps his arm around Harry’s waist, remaining in the hall. “Pretty sure that was me doing you a favour, it’s not a part of my job description. Plus I’m busy ravishing my boyfriend here if you couldn’t tell.”

“Yeah I just really didn’t want to do them myself…” Russell grumbles. 

“Oh by the way did you see that tall, stupid looking guy that barged in here a little while ago?” Louis adds. “He’s banned. From the lab, from the hospital, from LA if I can help it. If you ever see him again shank him with your microtome blade. I’m not kidding.”


	29. Chapter 29

“You’re the one who asked.” Louis stretches out on the bed, still wet from his shower.

Harry settles in beside him. “I didn’t expect such a detailed response.”

“How did you think babies were delivered, a stork? Obviously there was going to be vaginas involved.”

“You didn’t need to mention the...poop and stuff.” Harry grumbles.

“Deliveries are gross, be glad we’re guys.” Louis rests his head on Harry’s shoulder. “Does that change your mind about wanting to be pregnant?”

“Nope, I still want your babies.” Harry jokes. “The thought of it...it’s kind of a weird turn on.”

“Same. Let’s never speak of this to anyone though.” Louis attempts to roll Harry onto his side.

“Turn over and let me spoon you.” Harry commands.

Louis looks up at him surprised. “I thought you liked being the little spoon.” He turns anyway.

Harry presses against his back so they’re flush against each other. “I do but sometimes I like to be the big one. I am taller than you.”

“As I’m reminded of on a daily basis, thank you.” Louis inches himself higher on the bed so they’re better aligned.

“I like that you’re smaller.” Harry says fondly. “I like it a lot actually.”

“Well I’m glad cause I’m not gonna grow.” Louis wiggles his bum closer to Harry’s crotch. 

“You’re perfect to me.” Harry murmurs into his neck. “Your body fits in mine like it’s made just for me. Your bum, your thighs… I’m so in love with you it never ceases to amaze me. ”

Louis feels Harry’s hardness press along his crack. He suddenly becomes very aware of how badly he wants to feel every inch of Harry buried deep inside him. “Maybe we were made for each other. I like to believe in that soul mate stuff and- Mmmfuck you’re so hard babe.”

Harry rolls his hips, rubbing his shaft along Louis’ perky bum. “You did this to me. I’m always hard when I’m around you, it’s becoming a bit of a problem.”

“A problem I’m happy to fix.” Louis closes his eyes, letting his senses fill with Harry. 

Harry snakes his arms around Louis’ waist to brace him, grinding into him harder as he groans into his hair. “How are we gonna do that?”

“Wanna try this without pants on?” Louis suggests.

“Try..oh.” Harry stills. 

“Would you want to… have you ever…” Louis doesn’t know how to ask.

“I’ve never topped.” Harry says shyly. 

_Right, ok._

“Would you like to? Remember our rule, you have to be honest.” 

“Yeah, I’d love to actually. Your bum was made to be fucked.” Harry bites his lip.

“Wow Haz, romance is out the window then I suppose?” Louis pretends not to love it.

Harry squeezes his hips. “Sorry babe, just really excited.”

“I am too.” Louis sighs content under the pressure of Harry’s hands. “There’s steps…Do you want me to talk you through it?”

“Yes please. I don’t want to hurt you.” Harry kisses his neck.

“It’s gonna hurt a little no matter what, you’re bigger than I’m used to. It’s gonna be a good hurt though, getting stretched by you.” Louis pulls down his pyjama pants. 

“Should I grab the lube? We’ll need lots of that I’m sure.” Harry reaches over to the table. “Where is it?”

“In the drawer. I can’t leave it out, what if we have company?”

“We never have company.” Harry rummages around blindly. “Got it.”

“How would you like me?” Louis rests his head on his arm. 

Harry pulls off his own pants. “I don’t know, what’s easiest?”

“How have you pictured it?”

“With you on your knees usually.”

Louis positions himself on his hands and knees, lifting his bum in the air. “Like this?”

“Yeah.” Harry says breathily. “Just like that. You look unreal like that. So sexy for me. Can I taste you?”

Louis simpers, feeling pleased with himself. He had taken extra care in the shower to prepare for this very moment. “I’m clean, go for it.” He puts his weight onto his forearms , almost giddy with eagerness.

Harry cups Louis’ bottom in his hands and spreads him open, then lowers his face so his nose brushes Louis’ tailbone.

“Lou?”

“Um yes?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”  


“Sorry just…I couldn’t have done this with anyone else. This is so…wrong, but with you it feels so right. Like I can’t believe how into this I am. Just wanted to tell you that.”

“Th..Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Harry swoops down and finally makes contact. His tongue traces circles around the perimeter, building up a collection of saliva that pools down to Louis’ balls. 

Louis’ breath hitches and his jaw drops. It’s warm and wonderful, Louis decides this must be what heaven feels like. Although this is the kind of behaviour that makes God slam the pearly gates in your face…totally worth it. He could do this forever, nothing else but this. Ok there are a few other things he’d like to do as well, but this, _this_ is absolutely perfection. 

Harry’s firm wet tongue graces him one last time before venturing in. It pushes through Louis’ tight hole and slips in as deep as his tongue will go. Pressed firmly against Louis, Harry groans.

“You- Oh fuck your tongue is long…You like doing this Haz?”

Harry moans in affirmation, gripping into Louis’ skin harder. He moves his head back and forth, tongue fucking Louis, until the smaller boy begins to tremble. 

“Was that good?" Harry sits back up, his face drenched in saliva. 

Louis is a needy mess. “Yes…so good. I need more, I need you now.”

Harry proceeds with determination. “You sure you’re..relaxed enough?”

“I’m sure, please…” Louis begs desperately. 

“You’re soaked in my spit…don’t think we’ll need the lube.” Harry observes. He shuffles forward on the bed until he is kneeling between Louis’ legs, then presses himself up against his eager boyfriend. “I can’t believe I get to do this. I’m so lucky.” 

Louis tries to return the sentimental nature, but when he opens his mouth what comes out is “For the love of god, fuck me!”

Harry snickers, “Yes sir.” He pushes forward slowly. His girth is wider than Louis’ entrance, much bigger, so it’s a struggle at first. Harry is skeptical and doesn’t push harder, so outside he remains. Louis takes several deep breaths. He feels his muscles relax slightly, and then pushes himself back to envelop the head of Harry’s cock. There is a burning strain, but he takes it in stride, instructing Harry to go deeper. 

Harry rubs Louis’ lower back lovingly as he gives him everything he has. Every last inch, concealed inside of Louis’ body. He admires their connected bodies, loving the way Louis’ tanned skin contrasts with his pale skin. He remains still too long, and Louis grows deprived.

“Move.” His raspy voice directs.

Harry begins slowly sliding himself in and out of Louis. “Oh my god this is amazing, why have we never done this before, this is my new favourite thing.” He increases his pace, bottoming out each time.

Louis bites the blanket to keep from screaming. The drag is intense, Harry’s spit doing little to aid the resistance, but the fullness, _oh my god the fucking fullness_ that Harry provides is everything. It makes Louis’ legs quiver. “You’re doing perfect baby.” He manages to choke out, acutely aware that Harry might need encouragement for his first time. 

“You’re perfect.” Harry grunts. “All mine.” He adjusts his hips, experimenting with different angles until he find the one that makes Louis cry out his name. 

“Yes Harry, Hazza, right there...” He clenches around him, lowering back to meet Harry’s thrusts. 

Harry slides his left hand up to Louis’ hair and latches on. He uses the other to run his nails down Louis’ sweaty back, leaving a trail of scratch marks. He pounds harder into Louis’ prostate as he pulls his hair. He thinks to himself that Louis taking his cock so enthusiastically is the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. 

Louis reaches up and removes Harry’s hand from his hair, then places it on his leaking cock. “M’ close, stroke me babe.” He squeezes his eyes shut, stars forming behind his eyelids, as Harry’s hand starts tugging. 

“Can I come on your back Lou?” Harry’s voice is lewd. “Wanna make you filthy.”

“Yes..anything...fuck Hazza fuck!” Louis’s legs give out as his orgasm hits, and thankfully Harry grabs onto his hips to hold him up. Harry pounds into him primitively. He uses Louis’ pliant body, slamming into him as the smaller boy loudly rides out his orgasm. When he feels himself about to release, he lets Louis collapse onto the bed and pulls out, finishing all over his back.

In his reverie, Louis is barely aware of the warm wet beads of cum forming small puddles on his skin. 

Harry smiles down at his work. Louis’ back is covered in red scratch marks and white fluid.  
“You’re my Jackson Pollock.” He says out of breath.

“Your who?” Louis has yet to fully come back to reality, limp on the mattress.

“A painter, you’re painted with my love juices.” Harry lies down beside him so their faces are close. 

Louis grins. “Your pillow talk is educational. Sex with you will make me smarter.”

“Teach me something.” Harry says dreamily.

Louis thinks for a moment. “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

Harry giggles. “I knew that one.” 

“How about this; that was the best sex I’ve ever had. Your love making skills are way too good for a first timer.” Louis cranes out his neck and kisses Harry’s nose. “Oh my god is your wrist ok? I totally forgot about it.”

“So did I.” Harry rolls his hand in circles. “Feels fine.”

“My bum has magic healing powers.” Louis decides.

“Wait a second, I just realized you took my virginity!” Harry’s eyes grow wide.

Louis raises an eyebrow. “You weren’t a virgin, that’s not how this works.”

“Ok fine, you took my dick virginity.” Harry counters.

“I think you handed that over pretty willingly.” Louis purses his lips and Harry kisses them.

“You deflowered me.” Harry whispers. “That will always belong to you.”

Louis admires him, feeling completely smitten. “God I love you so much.”

Harry beams. “Love you more.”


	30. Chapter 30

“Red or white?” Niall looks up from his wine rack.

“Red if you have it, pairs better with tomato based sauces.” Zayn leans against the counter of Niall’s kitchen. They had finally finished the treehouse and were celebrating over a home cooked dinner.

“It’s nothin’ fancy but it’ll do the trick.” Niall pulls out two mason jars from the cabinet and fills them, emptying the entire wine bottle.

“Whoa.” Zayn laughs. 

“Don’t worry, that’s not the only bottle I have.” Niall points to his full rack.

Zayn shakes his head. “I was referring to the jars you’re using to serve it.”

“Oh, sorry I don’t have fancy wine glasses like some people.” Niall rolls his eyes.

“I _had_ fancy wine glasses, now I have fancy wine _glass_ , thanks to someone clumsy.” Zayn puts on a pair of oven mitts and pulls the steaming lasagna out of the oven, placing it onto the stove.

“Who has only two to begin with?” Niall takes a generous sip of his wine. 

“I don’t entertain often...” Zayn says defensively. “At least I don’t serve it in an old Ragu jar.”

“I washed it...” Niall sulks.

“Don’t buy Ragu in the first place, it’s vile.” Zayn ruffles Niall’s hair, making him smile again.

“You’ll have to cook for me then, I’m useless in the kitchen.” Niall bats his eyelashes. 

Zayn tries not to get worked up by Niall’s flirty face. “I wouldn’t say useless, you’re nice to look at while I make dinner.”

Niall chugs his entire jar before replying. “You could replace me with a mirror then.”

“Is that your way of telling me I’m nice to look at also?” Zayn tries not to sound hopeful. 

“No. Maybe. It’s hot in here, is the lasagna ready yet?” Niall turns his attention to the stove.

“I just took it out, give it a minute to cool.” Zayn insists. “How’d your salad turn out?”

“Well there’s lettuce...and more lettuce. It’s just lettuce.” Niall holds up a bowl of wilted romaine.

“Eh, good enough. You helped.” Zayn likes cooking for Niall. In fact, he likes everything about the time they’ve been spending together, especially at Niall’s house. Being immersed in his world, so happy and carefree, is a nice break from Zayn’s grey life. No haunting memories of nights spent with Louis, no cigarette burns on the couch where he fell asleep smoking, no holes in the wall where’d punched through the drywall in teary eyed frustration. Niall’s place is fresh and clean, and smells like Niall. Being here makes Zayn very happy. 

“I’m sure it’s cool enough, I’m starving.” Niall heads for the stove.

“Wait aren’t you going to set the table? Linen napkins maybe... and your wine! You need to drink some with the meal it brings out the flavours...Niall put that fork down!”

Niall has taken a chunk out of the lasagna and is holding it by his open mouth. “What? Take it as a compliment.”

Zayn sighs. “You’re impossible. Just eat it then.”

Niall happily devours the large mouthful, getting tomato sauce under his bottom lip. “Mmm.” He closes his eyes. “I’m in flavourtown.” 

“Don’t talk with your mouth open you ...you’ve got sauce on your face.” Zayn smiles begrudgingly. 

“Can’t hear you, still in flavourtown.” Niall swallows and Zayn extends his thumb, gently running it along Niall’s bottom lip to wipe it clean.

Niall opens his eyes, slightly startled. 

“It’s ok, I got it for you.” Zayn says softly, letting his thumb linger for a moment. They lock eyes and the gesture suddenly feels very intimate.

“I...I need more wine.” Niall blurts out, backing away. He pulls another bottle from the rack and refills his jar.

“Everything ok?” Zayn asks, a little worried he’s spooked him.

Niall continues drinking. “Yeah just...it’s nothing sorry.”

Zayn watches the wine disappear. “Did I cross a line again?”

“No, I like when you’re...that way. Soft. I just don’t know how to handle it when it feels so overwhelming.” Niall tries to explain.

“I don’t want to do that, overwhelm you.” Zayn says sympathetically.

“It’s good, kind of.” Niall bites the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know what it is. You confuse me.”

“You confuse me too. Like right now for instance.” Zayn frowns and there’s an awkward silence.

“Wine, more wine.” Niall gulps down the remainder of his glass.

“You’ve just drank a whole bottle, do you realize that?” Zayn wonders what’s gotten into his friend.

Niall shrugs. “It was only two glasses.”

“Two jars, half a bottle each.” Zayn explains. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’m great. We can put the food on plates now if that makes you happy. I don’t have linen napkins though...I think I have some paper ones from the last time I ate Subway.” Niall’s cheerful demeanour returns and he starts pulling open drawers in search of cutlery.

“Those will do I guess. I know what you’re getting for Christmas.” Zayn smirks.

“You’re gonna get me napkins?” Niall retrieves an unmatched set of forks and knives. “Was I naughty?”

“Yes, and not in the good way.” Zayn sets two plates of food onto the table.

Niall polishes off another jar before starting on his meal.

“You must be feeling that by now, what’s gotten you in such a drinking mood?” Zayn takes his time eating and sipping his wine.

“I’m on a mission.” Niall announces.

“Mission for what?” Zayn fills his fork with lettuce, trying to be polite and eat Niall’s ‘salad’.

“When I’m drunk enough I’ll tell you.” Niall finishes his dinner quickly, then uncorks another bottle.

“Drink more then, I’m curious.” Zayn eyes him from across the table.

It doesn’t take long before Niall is tipsy, borderline drunk. He places their dishes into the sink, ignoring Zayn’s pleas to rinse them first, then turns to Zayn with a serious expression, placing a hand on each of his shoulders. “Do you want to spend the night?”

“Don’t worry I’m not drunk, I can drive home.” Zayn assures him.

Niall squeezes his shoulders. “That’s not why I asked.”

“Oh.”

“Is that ok? Not like...for sex or anything, just a friendly sleepover.” Niall backpedals a little.

“Right, of course. Yeah I’ll stay over.” Zayn already feels a little guilty, but can’t resist the temptation.

“Wanna see my bedroom?” Niall bounces on his heels like an excited child.

“Yes show me.” Zayn lets Niall take his hand and lead him down the hall to his room.

The walls are covered in posters of Irish sports teams, and the shelves are full of shiny gold trophies.

“You play a lot of sports?” Zayn sits on the back of a small desk chair.

“Used to, now I just play soccer, you should come watch me sometime.” Niall’s eyes light up at the idea.

“Are you any good?” Zayn pretends to think it over.

“I’m the best!” Niall says excitedly. “You’d be very impressed. Definitely come to my next game.”

“I’ll be there.” Zayn gives him a reassuring smile.

“You can sleep in my bed with me.” Niall says out of the blue.

Zayn looks at the twin size bed. “It’s small mate.”

“We can fit I’ll show you.” Niall strips down to a pair of tight white briefs, leaving little to the imagination. “You can look, I don’t mind.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re saying right now.” Zayn keeps his gaze fixed downward.

“Fine I’ll just...” Niall hops into bed and pulls the covers over himself. “Turn off the light and join me.”

Zayn leaves his long sleeved shirt and jeans on, figuring it will make things easier in the morning if Niall freaks out. He gets into bed, staying as far to his side as possible, but the bed is so small that they still touch. It’s quiet for a long time and Zayn assumes Niall has fallen asleep, until he hears his small voice.

“Can you cuddle me?”

Zayn’s heart flutters in his chest. “You sure that’s what you want?”

“Friends can cuddle right? I can still be straight and cuddle you?” Niall whispers.

“Um yeah, sure.” Zayn says unconvincingly. 

“Good enough.” Niall lies down on Zayn’s chest. “I like how you smell. Like apples and tobacco.”

Zayn chuckles. “Weird description but thanks. You smell like Axe, it’s addicting.”

“Can I share a secret with you?” Niall runs his finger down Zayn’s torso, stopping at the bit of exposed skin at his v-line where the fabric has ridden up.

“Is it a good secret?” Zayn’s brain can barely process words with Niall’s touch so low.

“Very good.” Niall trails his finger to the hair below Zayn’s bellybutton.

Zayn gasps silently. “Y-yes.”

Niall brings his hand back out of the covers and places it on Zayn’s chest. “I think you’re really special. Like the most special person in the whole world. I’ve always thought that to be honest. I’m glad we’re good friends now.”

“Me too Niall.” Zayn closes his eyes, fully aware that he will be getting no sleep tonight.


	31. Chapter 31

The weeks fly by as Autumn rounds the corner. Models on the billboards start to look more PG, people are buzzing about pumpkin spiced lattés from Starbucks, and the hot dry Santa Ana winds blow in through the mountain passes.  


Harry has completely settled into Louis’ house. His clothes have earned designated spots in the closet and drawers. His toothbrush sits proudly on the bathroom counter, and his side of Louis’ bed has been rightfully claimed.  
They calculate Harry’s half of rent, utilities, groceries and household needs like dish soap and toilet paper, and divide up the chores so Harry is no longer cleaning the whole place in secret.  


Everything is domestic and peaceful. Minor arguments are easily resolved and usually end in Harry seeking spankings as punishment. Louis takes note that sometimes Harry will do things wrong on purpose, like the time he bleached their blue towels because he ‘didn’t know you shouldn’t’. After destroying a set of high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, Louis draws the line and tells Harry he can ask for spankings instead of being sneaky to get them.  
Harry has a minor breakdown when he can’t afford the first month’s expenses, but Louis assures him as his paychecks come he will be able to pay his share. Once his bum is red and full of handprints, Harry accepts this and feels much better.  


Liam is always busy with work, finding his new position more stressful than expected. They barely see him anymore as he is always locked away in his office, looking over a mountain of slides. He spends his free time with Cheryl anyway, so he`s barely around.  


Harry and Louis go to the aquarium most weekends to watch the fish. When their tank has adjusted they purchase three fish; two clowns and a blue tang (from Aqua Emporium, not The Fish Man.) They spend many evenings cuddled up in bed, watching ‘Nemo’ and ‘Marlin’ (named by Harry) swim in and out of the anemone.  
Louis and Zayn don’t talk anymore. Louis sends him text after text, trying to apologize and make amends, but Zayn keeps responding with the same line; ‘I need more time.’ Louis tries to hide from Harry how hard this is for him, not wanting him to feel guilty, but Harry secretly knows and has been texting Zayn as well, begging him to talk to Louis again.  


Louis doesn’t go out on weekends anymore, doesn’t DJ at Revival, and officially quits smoking, for the sake of his health-not for Harry. (Harry made it very clear that he wasn`t forcing him). It’s a lot of loss at once, and is painful but bearable, especially with Harry supporting and loving him through it. Having Harry by his side makes it all worth it.  


At the hospital, they work together incredibly well, falling into an unspoken pattern of who does what. They dissect in the mornings while Louis distracts him with conversation and playful flirting, and slack off in the afternoons. They complete several more autopsies, and Harry masters it just like Louis knew he would.

It’s a Wednesday morning and Harry has been unable to sit still as he slices up a kidney.

“Why are you wiggling around so much?” Louis works on a piece of bowel, not paying it much attention.

“My bum hurts...” Harry mutters.

Louis smirks, knowing that it is the result of their kinky morning sex where he had tied Harry to the bed and whipped him with his belt, making Harry orgasm simply from the pain. “Why don’t you get up and walk around babe?”

“And go where?” Harry bites his lip, enjoying the sting a little too much.

“You need to get some friends” Louis announces.

Harry places a piece of tissue into a cassette. “Wow thanks.”

“No really, that was an issue for you in your last relationship and I don’t want to repeat the pattern. You and I are together constantly. We live together, work together, eat together, sleep together... how are you supposed to meet new friends if I’m smothering you.” Louis explains.

“You’re not, I like it...” Harry mopes.

Louis stands up and pulls out Harry’s chair. “Shoo. Go talk to people, and don’t come back until you’ve made a friend.”

“I can’t just bother people while they’re working.” Harry trudges for the door.

“Course you can, who doesn’t love that? A break is always nice.” Louis encourages.

“But I’m so awkward around people...” Harry whines. “And I forgot to put on deodorant this morning.”

“Lead with that, good ice breaker. Very relatable.” Louis pushes him out the door.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Cheryl the lab manager storms into the Histology room with Harry trailing behind her.

“Did you instruct Mr. Styles to bother the other employees?”

“You ratted on me?” Louis asks shocked.

Harry shrugs. “She guessed.” 

“I know your tricks Mr. Tomlinson. Don’t get your friends into trouble. The ladies got way too riled up, I could hear them from my office.” Cheryl slams the door on her way out.

“I made friends though.” Harry says proudly.

Louis raises his eyebrows. “That was fast, who?”

“Kalel, Courtney and Athena, the MLAs. They asked me to go to Thirsty’s bar tonight and I said yes.” Harry grins widely.

“Drinking on a school night, someone’s popular all of a sudden.” Louis teases.

“You’re gonna come too right?” Harry returns to his abandoned kidney. “ They said to bring you as well.”

“I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t, you can fly solo and have your own little group of friends.” Louis tosses the unused pieces of bowel back into the formalin.

Harry looks sad.

Louis takes off his gloves to rub Harry’s shoulder. “I’m being supportive, I want you to have your own life so you feel fulfilled, independent. I want you to feel confident. It will be good for us babe.”

“I know, you’re right.” Harry nods. “I’ll just miss you. They probably won’t even like me, I bet they asked just to get to you...”

“This is the confidence thing I’m talking about. They will love you, you’re the sweetest, funniest person to be around and they asked because they want to get to know _you_. You don’t need me babe.”

“I need you...” Harry puts on his puppy dog eyes.

Louis’ heart melts a little. “Well yes, just as I need you, but I was referring to tonight. So girl’s night out, that’s quite exciting!”

“It is, innit?” A piece of kidney falls out of the cassette onto Harry’s lap, he picks it off and puts it back in.

Louis looks a little disgusted but waves it off. “They’re all pretty freakin’ hot too...especially Athena.”

Harry abruptly looks up, confused.

“What? I can still tell when a girl is attractive...relax.” Louis smirks.

\--------------------------------------------------

“This is hopeless why did I say yes?” Harry pulls off the third shirt he’s tried on so far.

“They don’t care what you wear, plus you look good in everything. What was wrong with your black button up?” Louis sorts through the pile of discarded clothing.

Harry scrutinizes himself in the mirror. “It made me look frumpy. Can I borrow something of yours?” 

“None of my clothes fit you babe.” Louis notices Harry examining himself in the mirror. “If you’re about to criticize your body you can pull those jeans off and grab onto the dresser right now because I won’t stand for it. You’re everyone’s wet dream, you look like you’re sculpted from stone.”

“Don’t you think I’m getting love handles though?” Harry pinches at his sides.

“Is this you looking for punishment or are you being serious?” Louis watches Harry nip at nothing but skin.

“I’m still sore from this morning, I’ll stop if this bothers you.” Harry turns to the side to check the width of his stomach.

“It bothers me. If you think you’re fat then what the hell am I.” Louis turns to his own reflection.

“Curvy, muscular...” Harry runs his hands down Louis’ body. “Exactly my type.”

Louis smiles shyly. “Get dressed you lanky goof.”

“I’m lanky!?” Harry turns back to the mirror and extends his arms.

“Oh for the love of God.” Louis snorts.

 

\------------------------------

When Harry leaves in a cab, Louis is left feeling more alone than he expected. He bums around the place, tidying, playing Candy Crush on his phone, and shamefully touching himself to pictures of Harry.

He texts his boyfriend periodically throughout the night.

 **Louis** : Do you miss me yet? Are you having fun? Are you dancing?  
**Harry** : I missed you the moment I watched you fade into the distance as my cab drove away. I’m having an ok time... these girls are pretty cool I’ll admit. Athena’s been grinding on me.  
**Louis** : What????  
**Louis** : Harry???  
**Harry** : Yes love?  
**Louis** : Don’t let her touch you!  
**Harry** : Did you know Athena and Courtney are secretly hooking up?  
**Louis** : Is everyone in the lab gay? That doesn’t change my stance on her touching you...

 **Louis** :Did you eat the last pudding cup?  
**Harry** : Yes...Told you I’m getting fat  
**Louis** : ...  
**Harry** : Kidding :p

 **Harry** : What’s a hot lunch?  
**Louis** : Are you wasted already?  
**Harry** : Courtney said it’s a sexual thing...Do you want to hot lunch me?  
**Louis** : I just Googled it, I do not want to hot lunch you.  
**Harry** : :(  
**Louis** : Trust me on this one.

Louis is about to drift off when he gets one last text from Harry.  


**Harry** : Dan is here.

Louis blinks a few times to focus his vision, yes that does say Dan. Dan is at the bar. The bar where Harry is. 

He jumps out of bed and grabs his keys, running for the car without bothering to lock the house.  
_Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit_

He pulls up in front of Thirsty’s, ignoring the no parking signs, and tries to run in past the bouncer.  
The bald burly man stops Louis with a hand to the chest.

“Oof.” Louis gets the wind knocked out of him. “I need...I know I’m underdressed but...Harry.” He gasps for air.

“You’re also not wearing shoes.” The bouncer point out.

Louis looks down at his bare feet. “I know that... _now_."

“No shoes no service buddy.”

“Listen, my boyfriend is in there and I think he’s in trouble, can you at least go get him for me? He’s tall with brown curly hair and dimples, I guarantee he’s the prettiest one in there.” Louis says urgently.

The bouncer mumbles something into his walkie talkie. “They’re sending him out.”

Louis stares at the door and bites his nails until Harry finally comes stumbling out of the bar. “Lou! You’re here!”

“Are you ok baby?” Louis holds out his arms and Harry runs into them. 

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

Louis furrows his eyebrows. “The text you sent me, Dan? Is he here?” He steps away to look at Harry.

“He was here but he left. He had another guy with him, he was small like you. They didn’t see me I don’t think.” Harry rubs his arms.

“Oh...So you’re ok? You didn’t need me to come down here?” Louis automatically takes off his cardigan and passes it over. “Put this on you’re cold.”

Harry accepts the cardigan. “Of course I need you, I always need you. Come in!”

“I can’t.” Louis points to his feet. 

“Why aren’t you wearing shoes?” Harry enquires.

“I was in a rush...” Louis rubs one foot against the other. “I thought you were in trouble.”

“I’m so sorry babe, I should have known you’d come right away. Do you want me to come home with you?" Harry asks.

Louis wants nothing more than for Harry to come home with him. “Do you want to stay?”

Harry looks everywhere but at Louis. “No...”

“Remember our honesty rule?” Louis forces himself to say.

“...Yes.” Harry admits.

“You’re staying then. Go grind up on some lesbians, actually no don’t. But have a good time, I’ll be in bed waiting.” Louis forces a smile.

“I feel bad though. I don’t want you to go.” Harry frowns.

“Don’t, I’m fine and tired anyway, have a good time ok? I love you.” Louis gives him a chaste kiss on the lips then heads for his car before Harry can see through him.

“Bye Lou, Love you more!” Harry calls out after him before disappearing back into the bar.

 

The short drive home is not enough to clear Louis’ mind, so he circles the block a few times.  
_This shouldn’t be so hard, being away from Harry for one damn night. What is wrong with me?_  
His eighth time around the block, Louis still doesn’t want to go home. Then he realizes what else he’s been passing eight times...Zayn’s house.  
He pulls into his driveway, all the lights are off. _He has to talk to me if I just show up._  
Louis lifts the rock beside the door, but the spare key is missing. _That’s weird._ So he knocks on the door.

Zayn appears a few minutes later looking sleepy and frazzled. “What do you want Louis it’s late. Are you ok?” 

“Can I come in and talk?” Louis notices there are changes to Zayn’s place. The drywall has been spackled and painted, there is a new couch and it doesn’t smell as strongly of cigarettes as it normally does.

“I can’t I...I have someone over.” Zayn looks nervously at the hall.

“Who?” Louis looks at the shoes by the door. There’s a pair of bright yellow Nike runners that definitely aren’t Zayn’s. They do look familiar though...

“Nobody you know, time to leave.” Zayn tries to herd him out the door.

“You gotta tell me, is it a guy you met at the bar? Someone from the gym?” Louis is bursting with curiosity.

“No it’s nobody. You don’t understand I...oh shit.” Zayn covers his face with his hands as Niall comes toddling into the living room. 

“Babe who’s here? I...Oh hi Louis.” Niall shields himself with his hands, he’s wearing nothing but black briefs.

“Niall? Um..hey.” Louis staggers in the doorway.

“I’ll meet you back in...in there.” Niall lowers his head and scuttles back down the hall.

“You’re fucking Niall? Niall!?” Louis bursts out.

Zayn rushes forward and covers Louis’ mouth. “Keep your voice down, if he hears you say that he’ll freak.”

Louis yanks his hand off. “Fine, but explain.”

“He just sleeps here sometimes, it’s not a big deal, please don’t make it a big deal. It’s not what it looks like ok?” Zayn explains.

“Sometimes? Since when?” Louis has yet to calm down.

“Since his bed is very small and...I don’t owe you an explanation to be honest.” Zayn glares at him.

“Fine, go ahead and sleep with Niall, and Harry can go to bars without me because I’m too worried about him to wear shoes, and fuck everyone because who cares what I want? Nobody that’s who.” Louis storms out into the night.


	32. Chapter 32

 

Harry comes home over an hour later, a bit drunk, and smelling like perfume. As Harry gets into bed, Louis pretends to be asleep at first, but he can't help himself. 

"Are you happy now Haz? Was that what you wanted?" Louis asks, feeling sick inside. He knows how unfair he is being, but he can't help himself. 

"Yeah it was awesome!" Harry says oblivious. "I did a shot off of Kalel’s belly button."

Louis cringes. "That's... Ok. Are you bisexual?"

"No? Why would you ask me that? We were just having fun like you told me to, didn't you tell me to have fun?" Harry leans over to kiss Louis' neck.

"Yeah I just didn't expect you to be such a whore about it." Louis snaps angrily. 

Harry winces at the word. "Let me get this straight; you make me go out, now you're mad I went out. Yup, this independence project if yours is going splendid. Good job."

Louis is taken aback by Harry’s tone. "That's not...I didn't say I was mad you went out, that would be stupid if I was. You're twisting my words."

"Am I?" Harry asks honestly. "Tell me why you're upset then."

"Because... I just am." Louis finishes lamely. 

"Mature response. That really clears things up. Shall we sleep then? Tomorrow morning is going to be a bitch." Harry starts turning over to face the wall. 

"Zayn is fucking Niall." Louis blurts out, unsure why he feels the need to say it so badly.

"Niall from work." Harry confirms, sitting up against the headboard.

"Yes Niall from work, and from...my friend. He's also my friend." Louis sits up and switches on the lamp.

"You're mad because Zayn found someone he wants to be with? How do you even know they're hooking up? Did he text you to tell you that? Cause if he did he's just trying to make you jealous..." Harry tries to understand.

"I know because I saw them. Well I didn't see them having sex obviously...but I saw Niall, in his underwear, looking guilty. And Zayn looked like he does after he's just had sex, all... Satisfied and shit..." Visuals replay in Louis' mind and he's angry all over again. 

"You went to Zayn's? Tonight. After you saw me at the bar." Harry's voice is monotone.

"Yeah so?" Louis is frustrated that Harry isn't as angry about it as he is

Harry is still calm as ever. "At 1 AM. Why?" 

"To talk to him. To make him be my friend again." Louis says like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"At 1 AM..." Harry's tone intensifies slightly.

Louis trails his finger along his eyebrow, running out of patience. "Yes at 1 AM, why are you so stuck on that?"

"And then what?" Harry's eyes are dark and cold.

"Huh?" Louis is genuinely puzzled.

Harry snaps. "You went there to become friends again, and then what? What was your plan? To get into his bed so he could make you feel better?"

"No." Louis is caught off guard.

"You were upset that I didn't come back with you, I saw it all over your face. So you did what came natural, you crawled back into Zayn's arms. Well you tried to at least, but someone else was in your place, and that's why you're mad. You're mad because your comfort fuck was fucking someone else." Harry says whilst shooting daggers from his eyes. 

"It's not like that." Louis doesn't even know how to defend himself.

This is the angriest Louis has ever seen Harry. His voice is loud and deep, washing away his boyish charm. "What's it like then? Please, tell me, I'm dying to hear this."

"I fucking miss him!" Louis is overwhelmed with his emotions. "He was my best friend, for years he was the most important person in my life, whether I treated him that way or not I'm unsure, but he was always there for me no matter what. I miss him, I've _been_ missing him. This isn't easy Haz, my whole life changed when Zayn left...I don't want it all back, the smoking and the drinking until I can't feel things anymore, but I want him back. I want parts of him back anyway. Not the parts you think I do. I know how hard this must be for you." Louis brushed the curls out of Harry's eyes. "To hear that you're not enough for me."

Harry looks like he's just been stabbed in the chest. 

"Shit, fuck, no that's not what I meant, that came out completely wrong...Haz wait!"

Angry Harry is gone. In his place is devastated Harry, bawling and trying to get out of Louis' bed, but Louis tackles him and pins him down. 

"Please wait, you don't understand."

Harry sniffles beneath him. "I don't think you do either."

"I'm trying to. I'm trying to forget about him, pretend that nothing is missing... And most of the time nothing is. When I'm with you, I forget about him. With you by my side I don't need anyone else...but you left me."

"I didn't leave you, you idiot." Harry chokes out between sobs.

That's the moment Louis realizes he's being a complete tool. Normally when he realizes he is wrong in an argument his knee jerk reaction is to switch to blind anger, but not with Harry. He looks at his boyfriend's angelic face; tear stained cheeks and puffy lips, and he wants to torture himself for being the one responsible. 

"I know you didn't leave me, I'm so sorry baby oh my god, why am I like this? Why would I ever say those things to you? I don't even mean them. You are enough for me, you are everything. I had a weird moment but it's not how I actually feel. Please, please tell me you believe that?"

"I don't know." Harry looks lost.

Louis clings to him desperately. "Please don't go, sleep here tonight, let me take care of you. I need you."

"Sure you don't need him?" Harry mutters.

Louis' heart breaks. "I'm sure. I chose you remember? Not that there was even a choice to be made because it was never like that with Zayn, it was very different. It wasn't nearly as good as what we have. I love you so much...I chose you."

"Did you though? Cause it seems like you are trying to choose both, and I don't think I'm ok with that anymore."

"Just you." Louis rolls off of Harry and turns them so they're spooning, Louis as the big spoon. "All I need, always and forever."

"I want you to be friends again, I really do. My insecure brain just can't handle it sometimes. I'm so scared that you will go back to him." Harry’s tears fall onto his pillow.

"I won't." Louis wipes the tears from Harry’s cheek with his fingers.

"I can't lose you." Harry says quietly.

"You won't." Louis whispers into his hair.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

\--------------------------------------------------

 

The alarm goes off, an Urdu ballad soothing enough to coax Zayn's grumpy ass out of bed each morning- He is not a morning person. 

Niall is. He pulls the covers back and wiggles out of Zayn's arms to head for the bathroom to take a morning shower.

Zayn is about to doze back off when he remembers. "You have today off babe."

"No I don't" Niall continues gathering his scrubs from a pile he's started in the corner of Zayn's room, too stubborn to take a drawer. 

"You do, I pulled some strings." Zayn blinks until his vision is clear. 

"Are you shagging Cheryl now too?" Niall smirks, abandoning his clothes to jump back in bed. 

_As if. As if I could have done that without you noticing, seeing as you've occupied my bed every night for weeks._.

"No but Liam is, and he likes to see me happy, pretty sure he is secretly in love with me." Zayn isn't entirely joking. "I will make you breakfast and-"

"Is that a present?" Niall interrupts, eyeing the side table where Zayn had left a small wrapped box. 

"Maybe." Zayn smiles coyly. 

"Is it for me? Can I open it?" Niall claps his hands in anticipation . That was probably Zayn's favourite thing about him, his pure enthusiasm for life. The way he got excited about so many little things, like a kid really. Uninhibited, genuine happiness. 

"Of course it's for you, birthday boy. Here you go." Zayn passes it over.

"This is so exciting I- wait is it napkins." Niall's face falls a little.

"No silly those are for Christmas. Just open it." Zayn tries to subtly ruffle his dark hair back into place, knowing it probably looks ridiculous after tossing and turning so much.

Niall tears into the paper and opens the box, revealing a silver three leaved clover necklace. "Holy hell."

Zayn's stomach is in knots, having no idea how this gift will land. "Is it ok?"

"It's more than ok, it's amazing, thanks babe!" Niall turns around so Zayn can fasten it around his neck. 

"I’m so glad." Zayn breathes out a sigh of relief as he clips it into place, enjoying the privilege of his hands gracing the back of Niall's neck. 

Niall turns back around, rubbing the pendant between his fingers. "You're such a good friend Zayn, I didn't expect you to get me anything."

 _Ah yes there it is. Friends._. 

The word has quickly become Zayn's most hated of all Niall's vocabulary. Despite their cute, cuddly moments, they were still just friends, and friends have **limits.**

Zayn knows Niall's limits. He often wishes they weren't there, but he respects them all the same and is careful not to push. 

He finds himself constantly wondering what he and Niall are to each other, as this arrangement is rather unordinary. Are their nights of cuddles and whispers just a very close friendship, or is it more? Either way, Zayn cherishes every moment they spend together, whatever they are, and is happy with whatever Niall allows him. 

The times when Zayn would discover one of Niall's limits, it would come with a setback for their relationship. Niall would panic, reminding Zayn not to get too comfortable, and would mention what good 'friends' they are about a million times until the word barely had meaning. It picked away at Zayn, jabbing at him like a tiny needle, over and over as if the word was being tattooed onto his flesh. _Friends._ Zayn's feelings were way past that. Niall was the reason for every smile, every laugh, every moment of happiness in his life. He didn't realize how unhappy he'd been for so long until he started actually enjoying life again. Everything was clearer, including his lungs as he smoked less with Niall around. Especially after Niall started getting asthma attacks from being around the second hand smoke. At that point he stopped smoking inside. 

The morning sun beams in through the window and illuminates Niall's alabaster neck and shoulder in a breathtaking fashion. 

The neck is a limit. The time Zayn tried to nuzzle Niall's neck it made him retract his hand, the one that had been interlaced with Zayn's own, and had him calling Zayn 'bro' for three days. Zayn is not Niall's bro. He is Niall's babe, his pet, or any word that left a soft flutter in Zayn's heart, but not bro. 

So Zayn goes for the shoulder, leaning in for a tentative kiss. Whatever rules Niall has set in his head, loving shoulder kisses are on the 'ok' list because he leans into Zayn's touch happily with a breathy sigh.

As frustrating and confusing as it all is, the limits are also a bit of a game. Trying to figure out what will elicit a pleasant response versus what will set Niall off. It is always incredibly rewarding when a limit is shattered, like when Niall finally let Zayn spoon him without alcohol in his system. 

Sometimes Zayn worries that it's all in his head, that he is forcing these touches on his straight friend, but then Niall will do something to set things in motion again, like when he woke up early (Niall always wakes up first) and kissed a short trail from Zayn's neck to the middle of his naked back. Zayn was very much awake at that point, but laid in bed until Niall left the room because of a certain problem down below the sheets. 

That was the other issue, Zayn was always so fucking horny around Niall. Always hard. Any alone time was spent furiously jerking himself off to the memories of touches they'd shared that day. It was highly unsatisfying. What made matters much worse was when Zayn overheard Niall doing the same thing, grunting and moaning in the shower, so loud it couldn't have been an accident. 

Niall had yet to provide more verbal reassurance since their first wine furled night together, but that was ok with Zayn because he was most tuned in to physical forms of affection, like the massages and cuddles Niall provided. Those felt like 'I love you'. Those felt like home. 

"What do you want to do today?" Zayn tries to sound casual.

"Just be with you." Niall smiles at him.

Zayn tries to keep his delight off his face. "You sure? We can do whatever you want.”

Niall ponders for a moment. "Chocolate chip pancakes, FIFA, and cartoons, in that order please." 

"That can be arranged." Zayn smiles at the amazing boy beside him, mostly looking forward to the cartoons because they often cuddle on the couch and watch Family Guy. This is one of the moments where his instincts are screaming _kiss him_ because that's what you do when your heart is so damn full it could burst. And the way Niall is looking at him makes it seem like he wants it too, like he would allow a slip up just this once. But Zayn isn't about to risk it. Kissing Niall's lips is a big limit. One that would have major consequences if he pushed it. Zayn can't even imagine what Niall would take away from him of he tried, so he doesn't. 

Instead he gently cups his face, feeling the soft fuzz where Niall's facial hair is starting to come in. Instead he gazes into his eyes with the intensity of a thousand suns. Instead he waits, hoping that a day will come where the limits do not exist.


	33. Chapter 33

"That's quite the pimple on your forehead Styles." Louis takes off his glove just to poke at Harry's face. "Your crazy nights on the town are breaking you out." It was another productive morning in the histo lab.

"It was one night you poo face. Stop staring at him." Harry bats his hand away. 

Louis groans. "Him? Oh no don't tell me..."

"I named him Kevin!" Harry says proudly.

"You name everything." Louis tries to hide the fondness in his eyes. 

"I shall name you baby hedgehog." Harry declares.

"I thought I was poo face." Louis sticks out his tongue.

Harry nods. "That too." 

"Can I pop it?" Louis tries to poke the zit again. 

Harry shrieks. "No! Don't touch Kevin!" 

"C'mon!" Louis gets up out of his chair so he is hovering over Harry initiating a swatting war, both of them giggling. 

"Behave yourself lovebirds." Liam strolls in, barely looking up from his cell phone.

"He rises from the ashes! How've you been buddy?" Louis gets off of Harry and sinks back into his own chair.

"Tired, cranky, making a shit ton of money." Liam looks like he hasn't slept in days.

Louis scoffs. "Sugar mama won't have to take care of you anymore."

"Speaking of...Cheryl, I have some big news, we're moving in together." Liam finally gives them his full attention. 

"She's gonna stay in your dank apartment?" Louis asks amused. “Might want to hide your porn stash before she arrives.”

Liam leans back against the counter. "Ha, far from it, I'm moving into her place, not trying to brag but it's pretty damn nice." 

"We accept." Louis decides.

Liam rolls his eyes, knowing Louis' ways. "Accept what?" 

"The invitation to your house warming party. Does she have a pool? Does it have a slide? Can I skinny dip? I love showing off my bum at parties." Louis watches Harry in his peripheral vision, that got his attention. 

"Yes to the pool, no to everything else." Liam ignored Louis' whines. "It has a swim-in cave though which is fairly romantic, looking forward to getting her in there."

"No party?" Louis pouts. "How will I show off my amazing bum."

"I'll consider a party if you promise to keep your trunks on. Anyways I came here to prepare you guys, there's a body coming in a few minutes and..." Liam's pager goes off. "Hold that thought I'll be right back." He heads to his office.

 

"What does he need to prepare us for?" Harry asks once Liam is out of sight. 

"I dunno." Louis is still thinking about the potential pool party.

"Another autopsy though, that's exciting. Well I guess I shouldn't get excited, I mean someone died. I respectfully enjoy cutting up people's dead bodies. Wow when you think about it our job is really weird, like we _cut up dead bodies_ Lou. Lou? Are you even listening to me?"

Louis snaps out of his daydream. "Sorry what? Oh yeah, cutting people, good times, love all the blood and stuff."

"You're an idiot." Harry grabs Louis by the knee and wheels his chair closer. "My handsome idiot." Harry leans in closer.

"You shouldn't kiss me, the boss might come back." Louis wiggles his eyebrows.

"Oh is that so?" Harry grabs Louis' face with both hands and pulls him into a deep kiss. 

A small moan escapes Louis mouth as Harry starts sucking on his tongue like it’s a prelude to what he actually wants to be sucking.

Louis plays along, slipping his tongue in and out of Harry's hot wet mouth, trailing it along his lips, wondering how Harry can turn him on so damn fast.

His hands travel up Harry's legs and hook onto his waist. It takes a lot of willpower to not straddle him in the chair, but somehow he manages. They really shouldn't be allowed to work alone like this, it's awfully unproductive to be honest.

He continues to let Harry maul his face, secretly hoping Liam will walk in and see, but after two minutes of solid lip locking he has to pry Harry off. "Can't do this to me here babe, important work things and...such." 

"Things and such, you do talk some shit sometimes." Harry wipes some spit from his mouth.

"You got me flustered." Louis defends himself. "I'm normally a smooth talker."

"What are we waiting here for again?" Harry questions.

Louis can't remember what Liam said exactly. "I think we've been forgotten, let’s just go check it out." He tucks his hard cock up into his waistband before he goes, Harry does the same.

\--------------

There's nothing like a morgue to kill your buzz. When they get downstairs there is a different vibe than usual. It's always depressing, a little creepy, morose even, but right now it feels like something else, something Louis can't put his finger on.

The body seems to already be on the table, which is unusual. Normally the coroner brings it in and leaves it in a drawer. There are two police officers obscuring their view of the body, but there is clearly a lot of blood, on the table, on the floor...Louis can smell it. Sharp and metallic. It should be off putting, really it should, but instead he takes comfort in it. 

One of the officers steps aside to acknowledge them, finally providing a glimpse at the table. 

Mangled is the first word that comes to mind. The body is almost unrecognizable, like a pile of limbs and organs. It's a small pile though, almost like what you'd see if someone ran over a dog, but without the hair and... Oh god.

It clicks in Louis' brain and he immediately turns to Harry standing beside him. "Babe don't look-" 

It’s too late.

"It's... A child." Harry whispers, every ounce of happiness has been leached from his body. 

"Look at me, stop and look at me." Louis begs, softly tugging on his arm.

Harry is frozen to the spot.

"Harry _look_ at me." Louis' voice changes to deep and assertive, it gets Harry's attention. "Go sit down in the locker room, I'll be there in a second."

Harry walks away robotically without another word. 

"Liam will be here soon, I need to be with him right now." Louis gestures towards the locker rooms. The officers look puzzled but nod anyway. Having dismissed himself, Louis follows after his boyfriend.

What he finds in the locker room reminds Louis of the first time he ever saw Harry. He is hunched over the bench with his face in his hands, only this time he’s hyperventilating and rocking back and forth. 

Something about seeing Harry this way changes Louis. He knows what he needs to do. He doesn't know how he knows, but he does. He's sure of it. 

Keeling down beside Harry, he is careful not to touch him. He speaks firm and authoritatively.

"Focus on my voice; I need you to listen to me Hazza."

Harry nods ever so slightly. 

"You're going to breathe in for five seconds, then exhale for five seconds. I'm going to count."

Harry lifts up enough to make eye contact. 

"One..." Harry begins inhaling. "Two...three...four....five." 

"Now exhale. One...two...three...four...five. Good, again."

They repeat the process five times. Harry slowly inhaling and exhaling to the sound of Louis voice. Each time his shaking dissipates and the colour returns to his pale face. By the fifth time his breathing has returned to normal, but he still looks uneasy. 

Louis joins him on the bench."I'm going to touch you now." He states so Harry won’t startle as he begins rubbing his back in circles. "Tell me how you're feeling."

Harry shrugs his shoulders.

"Use your words."

"I feel...less." Harry murmurs.

Louis keeps his firm tone. "Less what." 

"Less like...” Harry pauses for another deep breath. “Like I might...die."

"You are not going to die. You are in the locker room, safe with me. Tell me where you are." Louis uses his free hand to gently turn Harry’s chin towards himself.

"In the locker room." Harry recites, looking into Louis’ eyes.

"What else."

"Safe, with you." Harry’s voice becomes more sure.

Louis is relieved to see him looking almost normal again. "Good, so good. You're doing perfect."

"What happened?" Harry asks, leaning into Louis.

"I think you had a panic attack babe, has that happened to you before?"

Harry shakes his head, but Louis clears his throat and Harry remembers to use his words. "No it has not."

Louis pulls Harry down so his head is in Louis' lap the way he likes, and continues rubbing his back in the same small circles. Round and round, constant, comforting. “I’ve got you, you’re doing great babe.”

"You need to...they need you." Harry tries not to think about what he’d just seen.

"They can wait, _you_ need me. Plus Liam's probably down here now, he was gonna warn us about it, we should have waited." Louis uses his other hand to massage Harry’s scalp through his curls.

"I'm sorry, I never would have expected to react that way. I'm so stupid and weak." Harry shuts his eyes tight.

"You're not weak, you're sensitive about kids and it's totally fine." Louis assures him.

Harry shakes his head in Louis’ lap."How am I supposed to do my job if I'm like this?"

"I'll do the hard ones.” Louis insists. “They're really rare, probably won’t come up much so it’s not an issue."

"That's not how this works, it's my job to do autopsies no matter who it is, those are the rules, I can't be like this, god I'm so stupid."

"Then I'll change the rules, nobody will make you do anything you can't handle. I'm always going to be here, anytime it's too hard, and you are not stupid Haz, you're wonderful and sensitive and perfect. I wouldn't change a single thing about you, especially not this. I like this. I'm so numb to everything, I like that you aren't. It's a reminder to me that life matters."

“I...thank you. I’m sorry you need to take care of me all the time, and don’t say it’s not true because you’ve been saving me since the beginning of our relationship. I owe you so much.”

Louis looks down at him. “You’ve saved me too, we’re even babe trust me. Nobody owes anyone.”

Harry shakes his head but doesn’t bother to argue. "What happened...to her, or him..." 

"Car wreck. A semi smashed into their minivan taking out the back half where he was sitting. Parents are in critical condition, he..."

"Fuck."

"Yeah..."

"Go help Liam, you're good at this, better than anyone. I’m ok now, they need you more.” Harry sits up off his lap. 

"How are you feeling now, your breathing is steady...you're obviously clean but you can take a shower anyway if you find that calming." Louis fusses over his boyfriend.

“I’m fine babe, I’ll shower but only cause I have plans for us later tonight and I want to be squeaky clean.” Harry shucks off his shirt.

“You’re fucking amazing Haz, so strong, so brave. I love you.”

“Love you more Lou. Now go get em.”


	34. Chapter 34

"You like that baby? I know you like it." Louis lands another _hard_ slap, the sound of which fills the bedroom. 

Harry's entire backside is glowing with red heat. He groans into the mattress where his chest and face are pressed, muffling his sounds.

"There's nothing you could do either way, is there? Not when you're all tied up for me." Louis taunts.

Harry demonstrates such by attempting to pull apart his wrists, which are tied behind his back. It only adds to the bruising where his head scarf is bound tight enough to dig into his flesh. 

Even if he had the use of his hands, Harry couldn't move if he tried.

"Trying to escape are we?" Louis knows damn well Harry's not going anywhere, but he uses it as an excuse to spank him again, this time on the back of his thigh. 

Harry yelps at the unexpected location of the sharp pain. 

It's mildly unnerving the way Harry is slouched over on the mattress, barely speaking. 

_I want you to have all the control. Even if I beg you to stop, don't._

Harry's words echo in Louis brain, a reminder that this is ok. Harry wants this. Harry is getting off on this. 

Harry's crack and thighs are drenched in saliva, but Louis still continues to duck down for more. He needs more. All that he can get. The taste on his tongue is now a mixture of Harry and his own spit, it's beautiful really. Harry tastes so fucking good. Louis sucks on the rim, harder than he has before because he can't get enough, then returns to jamming his tongue in and out of the clenched hole. 

Harry is in complete submission. A wet, whimpering mess of a person, limp on the mattress with his ass in the air. Curls stuck against his sweaty forehead, a pink flush on his cheeks. His neck and chest are painted with deep red love bites.

"Had enough teasing yet?" Louis' cock has been painfully hard for the entire hour it took to transform Harry into his pliant love slave. 

Harry finally finds his tongue, responding with more than just noises. "Yes."

"Yes what?" Louis expects a ''please', he's finally getting the hang of the whole 'dominant' business. 

"Yes...master."

 _On second thought, maybe not._

"What did you call me?" Louis' voice loses some of its assertiveness now hat he's been caught off guard.

"M...master."

 _Fuck it, let's test this out._

"Do you want me inside you?"

"Yes master, please."

 _Exhilarating._

Louis enters him slow, watching Harry's back muscles flex as he takes him in without being stretched first. This is when things normally become 'vanilla'. Even after spanking, Louis would drop the BDSM persona once he started making love to Harry because he couldn't help himself, he adored him. He craves Harry's touch so he reaches out and pulls on Harry's shoulder. "Sit up baby."

There's a good chance that if the room was on fire, Harry would still be lying there on the mattress, but at the command of his ''master', he sits up immediately. 

Louis pounds into Harry, digging his fingers into his hips to keep him steady. 

Harry's eyes are closed and he's drivelling nonsense. He's powerless and it's obvious that he just can't get enough of Louis' cock stretching him open. 

_Can we try something new?_ Harry had requested when Louis tied up his hands. At his boyfriends puzzled expression Harry continued. _I liked how you took control of my breathing..._

Louis still wasn't sure what Harry wanted exactly, but asking for instructions made him feel stupid, he should be able to give his submissive what he wants without question. He decides to experiment. 

"Take a deep breath and hold it until I say."

As Harry inhales, Louis does as well, using himself as a control for how long was 'too long.' Counting in his head made for a nice distraction from fucking Harry, as his boyfriend's tight body threatened to squeeze an orgasm out of him. He keeps his thrusts even with his counting. 

_37...38...39..._

Louis only makes it to 60 before his lungs beg for air, blame the years of smoking, so he tells Harry to exhale. 

Harry does what he's told of course, but he sounds... Disappointed?

_Damn it._

Inadequacy pours over Louis, hating himself for not giving Harry what he wants. That's all he can focus on.

 _I need to give Harry what he wants._

Every bone in his body is screaming at him. Coaxing him. Harry may be the one tied up, but Louis doesn't feel very in control himself. It's for those reasons that he makes an irresponsible decision in the heat of the moment. 

"Lift your head."

Louis snakes his hand around Harry's neck and presses down on his windpipe, hard enough to cut off his blood flow. A small whimper of gratitude tells Louis he's done what Harry wanted all along. 

He counts again, this time to fifteen. His own pulse sounds loudly in his ears, watching Harry's face go red. Fifteen seconds feels like an eternity. 

When he finally releases his neck. Harry falls forward, coughing and sputtering against the bed. 

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit..._

Still snapping his hips forward, Louis turns Harry's head sideways with a pull of his hair, and looks down at his face.

He's crying, flushed face twisted up like he's in pain, and then Louis realizes... _Harry is coming._

"Baby." Louis gasps, thrusting into him harder as Harry rides out his orgasm.

"Oh master!"

The word sends Louis over the edge, coming hard into Harry in a mixture of shock, and satisfaction. He's made Harry happy. That's literally all that matters right now. 

Harry lies down on his stomach, panting. Louis carefully unties the scarf from his wrists and kisses the indents on his skin. 

Louis helps Harry over to the clean side of their bed, away from the sheets they've just soiled. He's never done so much laundry in his life. He stands up to get a towel, but Harry's cries for him make it evident now is not the time to leave him alone. 

"Shh it's ok, I'm going to take such good care of you ." Louis lies behind Harry and plants soft kisses everywhere he can reach. On his back, neck, shoulders, hair...

As Harry comes down from his high, he becomes something resembling a sloth, latching onto Louis's body like his life depends on it. 

"You ok Haz? Did I hurt you?" Louis begins to worry about his well being.

Harry clings to him, as if Louis would even consider leaving right now. "No, master, so perfect for me. Thank you."

"You don't have to call me that anymore love, it's Lou now ok?" Louis strokes Harry's hair.

"Mmm yes Lou." Harry hums.

"How do you feel right now?"Louis isn't sure how he feels either to be fair.

"Floaty." Harry says dreamily.

Louis has no idea what to make of that. "Good floaty? Can you breathe ok?" Harry sounds like he's breathing normally...

Harry takes a deep breath as evidence. "So good. Thanks to you."

"You did so good" Louis praises him, feeling sure that he needs it right now. "You make me very proud. I love you so much."

"Love you more." Harry beams.

They lie close until they drift off to sleep.

\------------

It's 1:30 AM when they wake up from their nap, sleep schedule quite ruined. Louis no longer feels the desperate desire to please Harry's every will, which is why the fear starts to set in. 

"Harry wake up."Louis shakes him slightly

Harry looks at him through lidded eyes. "S'wrong babe?"

"Everything. What we did, it was so dangerous I can't believe I... I didn't even know what I was doing, Harry I'm so sorry." Louis runs his fingers along Harry's collarbone like it's made of glass.

"Don't be sorry, you didn't hurt me, I trust you."Harry nuzzles Louis' hand with his nose.

"Why? I just told you I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know when to stop, what would cause permanent damage, oh my god Harry if I ever did something that hurt you I would never forgive myself. We can't do this anymore, it's gotten out of hand."

"But I liked it, and you liked it... I don't understand." Harry frowns.

Louis thinks for a minute. "Why do you need this?"

"I don't." Harry states plainly. "If you're not into this stuff, then we can go back to regular sex, it will be just as good."

"It will but..." Louis sighs. "I want this too, now that we've done it... I'll want it again. It was whole different experience. Why do I want this ugh I hate myself."

"I think maybe we enjoy shifting the control. I like when you take over. Knowing everything is in your hands." Harry explains softly.

"Like your neck..." Louis looks down at his hands like they're suddenly foreign to him.

"It doesn't have to be an every time thing." Harry offers. "I wanted to try this and now that we have, we can go back to normal stuff for a while. Sex with you is always exciting."

Louis is more than relieved to hear that. 

"If we're gonna do this, even if it's just once and a while, we need to do it properly. There are rules I'm sure, safe words, signals or something, I don't know but we need to look into it." Louis starts compiling a mental list of future google searches.

-Breath play  
-Choking your partner during sex  
-BDSM Safety...

Harry sighs happily and cuddles further into Louis' arms. "How can I not feel safe with you when you say smart things like that."

Louis smiles into Harry's mess of curls. "What happened to you at the end there, you were so out of it."

"I felt fuzzy, like I was floating on clouds. It was so peaceful." Harry recalls.

Louis' eyes widen. "That can't be good, that means I went too far, I cut off your oxygen for too long, I deprived you."

"No babe it was more like a rush of endorphins, I felt...trusting, like you had me. Like you would take care of me."

"I will take care of you. I was senseless tonight and I'm very sorry for that, but I'm going to figure out how to do this properly." Louis promises. 

Harry closes his eyes, ready to fall back asleep. "I trust you babe, always."


	35. Chapter 35

To: Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik 

**Liam:** I'm fully aware you two idiots have had a falling out, honestly I turn my back for one minute and everything goes to shit. Anyways put that aside cause we're going out this weekend to celebrate Niall's birthday, Harry too of course. I don't want to hear any excuses. I've been up to my ears in stress and I need my mates this weekend. Your boss has spoken. 

**Zayn:** Don't think Niall wants to go out man sorry

 **Louis:** Zayn and Niall have celebrated plenty if you get my drift

 **Louis:** I'm implying they're doing it

 **Louis:** Sex. They're doing sex.

 **Zayn:** Don't think I need to give any further explanation as to why I'm turning this down

 **Liam:** Louis stop. We respected your little fling, respect his

 **Louis:** Are you referring to Harry as my fling???

 **Liam:** I'm referring to Zayn as your fling 

**Zayn:** I'm not sleeping with Niall, you both need to get that through your thick heads

 **Louis:** I literally saw you, he was half naked in your living room 

**Zayn:** That wasn't what it looked like

 **Louis:** You positive, cause it sure looked like you're hitting that 

**Zayn:** I'm not, we're just friends

 **Louis:** Ah yes, I remember when we were just friends... You're so generous Zayn, dropping to your knees for all your buddies

 **Zayn:** Please drop this. I'm begging you...

 **Liam:** Seriously Lou, you're being the worst right now, it's not funny

 **Louis:** Fine. I'll pretend I never saw. Continue not shagging Niall. 

**Liam:** Excellent, now that that's settled let's discuss which bar to go to

 **Louis:** Danny's

 **Zayn:** We're not going to a male strip club 

**Liam:** Cheetahs? 

**Zayn:** Let me rephrase, no strip clubs of any kind

 **Louis:** You're boring 

**Zayn:** Your a dick

 **Louis:** You're* 

**Zayn:** Fuck off 

**Liam:** Is that friendly banter, it's hard to tell through text 

**Louis:** The friendliest.  <3 

**Liam:** Let's just go to Brews and Cues, play some pool

 **Zayn:** Niall would probably like that

 **Louis:** You'd know what he likes eh big boy 

**Louis:** Sorry sorry, old habits die hard

 **Zayn:** I'm already regretting this 

**Louis:** Are you bringing Cheryl 

**Liam:** No, this is a lads night 

**Liam:** And I'm embarrassed of you lot

 **Louis:** It's also turned into a double date with you as the fifth wheel

 **Zayn:** Fuck. you. 

**Zayn:** I'm not coming 

**Louis:** Relax, I'm just saying that Liam's the only straight one in our pack of rainbow coloured bendy straws 

**Liam:** Good metaphor

 **Zayn:** Niall is straight

 **Louis:** I don't see how that's possible but ok 

**Zayn:** Don't make me kick your ass 

**Liam:** Nobody is kicking anyone's ass, this is a normal lads night, beers and banter. Louis will behave himself like the gentleman he is

 **Louis:** Wanker 

**Liam:** Deep down

 **Louis:** Total Wanker

 **Liam:** Very deep down...

 **Zayn:** He's gonna be an ass, this is a mistake 

**Liam:** Ok I'm just gonna come out and say it. Louis is using cruel humour to deal with the otherwise painful situation of losing you as a best friend. Whether Niall is gay or not is his own business and Louis isn't going to say anything in front of him because he wouldn't hurt him like that. You two used to fuck and now you don't, get over it. Be mates again. We good?

 **Louis:** Oprah is that you?

 **Louis:** You get a dick in your ass, you get a dick in your ass! Everybody gets a dick in their ass!

 **Zayn:** Lou do you wanna get coffee and talk tonight 

**Louis:** What? Really?

 **Zayn:** Yes

 **Louis:** Are you going to hurt me 

**Zayn:** No

 **Louis:** Should I bring a bodyguard just in case

 **Zayn:** I'm being serious here

 **Louis:** Ok, meet me in the parking lot after work?

 **Zayn:** K 

**Liam:** I really am Oprah!

\--------------

 

"God yes, we haven't done this in ages."

"It really has been too long."

"I forgot how _good_ this feels."

"Harry won't let you?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't care, I just haven't. I like doing it with you."

"Pass the blunt Louis."

 

Louis exhales a cloud of smoke, passing the lit joint to Zayn. "Glad we chose this over coffee, wouldn't want those nosy baristas getting into our business."

"I think you just missed my place." Zayn settles back against the sofa and closes his eyes while taking a hit. "I haven't been getting high as much lately, saving myself lots of money on weed without you around."

Louis chuckles. "If we added up the money I owe you for weed and cigs, you could probably retire. On second thought lets call it even."

"You paid for the harder stuff when we went through that phase, that wasn't cheap." Zayn reminisces. 

"That's cause James gave me a better price." Louis grows impatient and lights a second joint. "You're not passing enough." He leans back so they're both relaxed, enjoying the calming effects of the THC. They smoke in silence for a while, feeling like old times. 

Louis decides to get it over with. "At some point we need to address the elephant in the room, don't you think?" 

"If you're seeing elephants I think you've smoked too much mate." Zayn says sounding somber.

Louis smiles. "You've always had the cheesiest sense of humor, just delightful."

"Shut up Loueh." Zayn exaggerate his Bradford accent. "Fine you want this touchy-feely bullshit over with? Here it is. I thought...something. Turns out I was wrong and you're actually a complete knob. The end."

"That's your idea of touchy-feely? You thought something? I'm charmed." Louis rolls his eyes.

"What do you want from me, you know how I felt, no need to rehash it." Zayn mumbles. 

Louis turns to face him. "You know you never actually told me right? We had a bar spat and a passive aggressive phone call, I'm basically filling in the blanks myself as to what went on. When did you start thinking...'something'?"

Zayn flicks some fallen ash from his jeans."I don't know when it happened, I just started getting...attached to you. It wasn't just sex for me. I knew that's all it was for you though and that felt like shit. Then Harry came along and...I don't know, I snapped. I couldn't do it anymore. I know that's not exactly your fault so... I guess I'm sorry. I made you out to be the bad guy but really I was just hurt."

"Don't say it was just sex cause it wasn't, you mean more to me than that." Louis looks at him earnestly. "And I'm sorry too, for hurting you, I'd never do that on purpose. I'm dense sometimes, can't see what's right in front of my face. You of all people though, the last thing I wanted to do was cause you pain."

"Meh, we're both idiots. We should have seen it coming." Zayn stares blankly ahead.

Louis puts his roach onto the table. "I'm the idiot, you just..."

"Fell in love with you, yeah that makes me an idiot too."Zayn's voice wavers.

"Z..." Louis puts his hand on Zayn's knee.

Zayn shakes it off. "Relax, I'm over it now. You're not special anymore. We can go back to being mates now as long as you lay off the Niall thing."

"I'm not special?" Louis frowns at the rejection.

"Nope, you're back to being an annoying little shit. Your shine has faded. You're mortal again." Zayn lights another joint.

"Well that sucks, but if it makes us friends again then I'll be anything you want me to be." Louis decides. 

"Good." Zayn takes a drag then passes.

Louis stares at the joint like he's speaking to it. "I love you too you know, just for the record. You're still shiny to me."

Zayn lets the words wash over him. "It's weird hearing you be sappy. Did that hurt to be serious for so long?"

"Little bit." Louis clutches his chest. "Gonna need a nurse."

"Nurse joke, classic." Zayn grins, feeling like a weight has been lifted between them.

"I wonder what would have happened if you'd told me your feelings from the beginning, if we'd had a proper shot at this you know?" Louis ponders.

"It wouldn't have worked out." Zayn decides. "We're too similar, dark twisted fucks who don't give a shit about anything. We need people to bring light into out lives and remind us what's important. People like Harry."

"And Niall?" Louis asks quietly.

Zayn sighs. 

"I'm your best friend Z, remember? You can talk to me about his, I won't crack jokes anymore. What's going on between you two?"

"Honestly, I'm not even sure." Zayn admits. " It's been really weird, it's like we're friends but we're also more, confusing as hell."

"Like we were?" Louis pushes up his baggy sweater sleeves, so ready for this conversation. 

"The opposite, Niall and I don't have sex, contrary to your beliefs. Not that I wouldn't want to...we just, I don't know, do the soft things like cuddling. Lots of cuddling." Zayn explains.

Louis tries to formulate a 'soft dick' joke in his mind, he finally gives up. "So no steamy snog sessions? No handy's under the covers?"

"No, none of that."

"Lying beside him unable to get off, christ you must be aching for it." Louis can't fathom the horror.

Zayn shrugs. "It's frustrating sometimes but it's also really nice. I like holding him all night, and waking up to him in the morning...he's so cheery...The way he jumps out of bed like the day is a gift. He just makes me really happy. I've never felt this way with someone before. Like I thought what you and I had was...you know, but it couldn't have been because it's more with him. It feels more. I feel more. I don't know what I'm saying."

"Zayn the softie, who knew." Louis blows some smoke rings, debating. "You're in love with him."

"I can't be." Zayn says firmly. "He says he's straight, I have to respect that."

"A straight man wouldn't cuddle you in bed every night. It makes sense too if you think about it, he never dated much, never talked about girls really." Louis ruminates.

"That doesn't mean he's gay." Zayn takes the joint out of Louis' mouth. "You think everyone's gay."

"Seems like everyone we come in contact with is." Louis points out.

"Liam."

"Wants your dick. Next?"

"Eleanor."

"Wants my dick. Ok there's one straight person."

"She does spend an awful amount of time complaining about you, could be a cover up." Zayn jests.

Louis scoffs."It is! Nobody is that bitchy for no reason. You should see the looks she gives Harry in the cafeteria." 

"Or maybe she's taken aback by the way you've marked him as your property." Zayn thinks back to when he saw Harry in the parking lot, his neck painted purple.

"What are you talking about?" Louis scrunches his eyebrows. 

"His neck, it's covered in your love bites. Might wanna give it a rest for a while so he can heal."Zayn suggests.

"Ah yes..." Louis bites his lip. "Harry likes it pretty rough in bed sometimes." 

"Doesn't surprise me."Zayn smirks.

"Why the hell not? He looks like an innocent little cupcake, I never would have suspected."

"He got off on me fucking you, whipped himself out right in front of me like it was nothing. Makes sense that he'd have a kinky side." Zayn recalls how big Harry was, it gets him going a little.

"Huh yeah I guess. It's gotten a bit intense though, I'm probably not supposed to tell people but it's you so..." Louis trails off.

"Intense how?" 

"Started off with spanking, last time I...choked him a bit..."Louis admits.

Zayn's eyes widen."Jesus Lou, do you know what you're doing? That shit's dangerous." 

"No but I'm gonna learn, if we ever do it again I'll make sure it's safe. Scared the hell out of me when he was coughing and stuff. He got off from it though. Is this too much to be telling you, am I crossing a line of some sorts?" Louis worries.

"We have no lines, remember?" Zayn takes a big hit and leans over top of Louis.

"That was before..." Louis looks at Zayn's lips then parts his own, letting the smoke into his mouth. Their lips graze a moment longer than necessary. 

Zayn settles back against the couch. "It's up to you. If you want to talk about this stuff I'm happy to listen. I'd probably share my sex stories if I was getting any."

Louis nods, running his finger along his lip where Zayn's had just been. "I'm glad we're ok again, I missed you Z." Louis leans into Zayn's arm, rubbing against it until Zayn gets the hint and wraps his arm around him.

"Missed you too Lou."


	36. Chapter 36

 

“You smell like the inside of a bong.” Harry sits up and sniffs as Louis climbs into bed.

Louis chuckles. “Sorry love do you want me to shower?”

“No just come here.” Harry flops back down. “I take it you and Zayn made up then?”

“Sure did, all it took was getting baked to finally have an adult discussion about our feelings.” Louis decides not to mention the shotgunning, it’s probably not a big deal, right?

“That’s great babe I’m very happy for you.” Harry lies onto his stomach

“He told me you’ve been texting him for weeks, asking him to come around, you’re really sweet Haz.” Louis strokes his back. ”This whole Zayn thing has been a burden on our relationship but you were the bigger person about it.”

“Someone had to, look how tiny you are.” Harry smirks up from the pillow.

Louis smiles suggestively “I’m big where it counts.” 

“Your heart?” Harry asks innocently.

Louis grabs the bulge in his briefs. “Nope.”

“Gonna share that with the class?” Harry opens his mouth as wide as it will go.

“Nope, I think I’ll just sit here and watch you drool.” Louis palms himself over the fabric.

“Tommo the tease...” 

Louis pulls himself out of his briefs, he is long and hard. “See something you like?”

Harry stares at Louis’ crotch, his eyes darkening with lust. 

“What’s wrong Styles, cat got your tongue?” Louis begins slowly stroking himself, focusing on the head. “I think I’m gonna make you watch.”

“Lou...” 

“You want to touch me so badly don’t you.” Louis continues to pleasure himself. “Wish this was your hand? Your mouth maybe?”

“Yes, so badly please let me.”

Louis groans. “I like this, seeing how needy you get for my cock. Wanna make you wait longer.”

Harry reaches down to rub his own hardness straining against his tight white briefs.

“You don’t get to touch that either.” Louis decides and Harry drops his hand immediately.

“Good boy.” Louis shudders, realizes he’s getting there too fast and slows down his strokes. He takes his free hand and runs it up Harry’s chest, his neck, his chin and stops at his lips. “Open.”

Eager is the only way to describe Harry. He sucks three of Louis’ fingers down to the back of his throat, running his tongue along the bottom the way he does when he gives head. He closes his eyes and hums in pleasure, relieved to be getting anything from Louis. 

Harry whimpers when Louis takes his hand back, leaving him empty again. “Don’t be greedy Haz.”

Louis pulls his waistband lower and guides his wet fingers around his bum until they’re pressed against his hole. Maintaining eye contact with Harry, he slowly pushes all three into himself at once. 

It takes a second for Harry to register what’s happening. “Are you...oh my god you are, that’s so fucking hot.” He watches Louis finger himself. He looks so free, letting go as if no one is watching.

“Feels amazing too, not as good as when you do it, I love having you in me. Your fingers are longer, mine can’t quite reach-ohhh fuck yes, yes ohhh.” Louis bounces, thrusting up into his fist and down onto his fingers. “You’re getting all wet for me baby, you love this don’t you.”

Harry winces, looking down at the large wet spot of precum on his briefs. “You’re teasing me so bad. Feels like I’m gonna burst at any second watching you like this.”

“Someone about to jizz their pants Styles? Didn’t know you were still in highschool.”

“Yes, make me feel bad about it, I’m so bad.” Harry moans.

“You’re pathetic, haven’t even touched you yet and you’re this close. Don’t you dare come before I do.”

“Just so hot...” Harry flexes his thigh muscles making the tight cotton stretch over his skin. It rubs along his sensitive cock so he continues flexing and relaxing. “Could come right now, I won’t though, I want to be good for you.”

“Sit still.” Louis fingers himself harder but it’s not enough. “Fuck, you’re so hard I can’t take this anymore, pull it out.”

Harry takes off his underwear, his throbbing length presses against his abs. He’s excited to finally touch Louis, but afraid he’s going to come without permission.

Louis stops playing with himself and climbs on to straddle Harry’s lap so they’re facing each other. “You’re not allowed to move, or to come. I’m using you to get myself off, do you understand?”

Harry gulps. “Yes master.”

Louis sinks down, taking all of Harry in at once. It’s a lot wider than his fingers, but the burn adds to the pleasure. 

“Fuck Harry you’re so huge. Always stretches me so good. Even three of my fingers didn’t prepare me for this.” Louis grinds slowly up and down on Harry’s lap. He threads his fingers into Harry’s curls and pulls his head backwards to suck on his bruised neck.

Harry clenches his eyes shut, clearly struggling to hold himself together. “How much longer I can’t...I’m not gonna be able to stop myself.”

“Almost there babe, you can hold it make me proud.” Louis could easily finish anytime now but making Harry wait is incredible. The longer he goes, the more Harry’s body trembles. Sweat drips down his temples, onto his rosy cheeks. “You are unbelievingly beautiful right now Haz.” Louis pants. “Can’t wait for you to fill me up.”

Harry finally breaks, crying silently as he releases into Louis’ tight hole. “Fuck ohhh“ His body quivers with the aftershock of still being fucked while extra sensitive. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I couldn’t, it was too much and I couldn’t!”

Louis secretly loves that he pushed Harry to the point of breaking, but he’s not about to show it.

“You’d better be sorry.” He pulls off of Harry’s softening cock. “Lay back.”

Harry leans back against the pillow, looking devastatingly disappointed in himself.

Louis moves up so he’s got one knee on each side of Harry’s chest, and points his cock inches from Harry’s face.

Despite Harry’s open mouth, Louis doesn’t get any closer. He strokes himself vigorously, not needing much more to get there, and shoots his load onto Harry’s face. Come splatters onto his lips and cheeks, it’s a lot. 

Louis spasms through his peak, small drips landing on Harry’s chin as he strokes himself empty. “Oh yeah, got you nice and dirty didn’t I. That’s what happens when you don’t follow instructions.” 

Harry moans and licks his lips, collecting as much as he can with his long tongue. This is clearly not a punishment, Harry is enjoying the hell out of it.

Once Harry has licked up all he can reach, Louis pulls a tissue from the box on the side table and wipes some of the remainder off Harry’s face. “Was that ok, not sure how you feel about...facials.”

“That was amazing, all of it. You’re a god Lou.” Harry appears satisfied and well fucked. “Sorry I let you down.”

“That was my plan all along babe.” Louis admits. “I liked seeing you lose control of yourself.”

Harry sighs, crawling under the comforter. “I wish we didn’t have to work tomorrow.”

Louis thinks for a moment. “Let’s play hooky.” 

“Hooky always reminds me of that Spongebob episode.” Harry stares happily at the ceiling. 

Louis cocks his head to the side. “I haven’t got a clue what you’re-“

“The hooks! The hooks! They’re back! Beware the hooks!” Harry cries out in a pirate accent.

Louis gives him a blank stare.

“You haven’t seen that one? What are you living under a rock?” Harry giggles. “Like Patrick.”

“You’re such an adorable little dweeb.” Louis criss-crosses his legs beneath himself. “No I don’t think I’ve seen any episodes.”

“Let’s binge watch all 9 seasons tomorrow, you need to see it... how do you even understand my jokes? Why did you laugh so hard yesterday when I was shouting ‘chocolate’?” Harry questions.

“You were shouting ‘chocolate’, it was funny on it’s own, and I have something else in mind for tomorrow. Something I’ve been wanting to do with you for a while.” Louis leans down to kiss Harry’s forehead.

“Oh is it dirty? IIIIII’m ready!” Harry declares nasally, sitting up and bending over to present his bottom, wiggling it around. 

“Was that another Spongebob joke, forget it nevermind, no it’s not something dirty, the opposite actually, you butt slut. Very clean. I want to keep it a surprise ok?” Louis trails his hand up Harry’s thigh to cup his bum.

“Ok.” Harry grins like a maniac. “I like when you surprise me.”

“I know you do babe come here.” Louis loops a finger into the waistband of Harry’s briefs and tries to pull him backwards.”

Harry shrieks as he’s pulled back onto the pillow. “I’m hooked! Help! Gift shop, tuna can, mayonnaise!”  


Louis admires his boyfriend, happily quoting cartoons with bits of cum drying on his chin. “What a mess I’ve made upon your innocence.”


	37. Chapter 37

I wanted to make a fluffy 'Larry @ Disneyland' chapter. Here it is.

 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” Harry sits on the edge of his seat to better read the road signs. 

“Yes Hazza?” Louis smirks from the driver's side.

Harry watches the palm trees pass by, trying to look for more clues. “Are we going where I think we’re going?”

“Hmmm and where would that be?” Louis plays dumb.

They pass another sign and it becomes blatantly obvious...

“YOU’RE TAKING ME TO DISNEYLAND!” Harry's hands fly up to his head. 

“Oh you’ve heard of it" Louis asks calmly. "Thought this place was my little secret.”

“Shut up you loser.” Harry gives him a playful shove. “This is the most exciting thing of life, I've always wanted to go to Disney!" 

"How did I know that? I must be the best boyfriend in the world or something.” Louis keeps his eyes on the road. 

“You are you are!” Harry squeezes his thigh. "You’re the best boyfriend in the _land_ , get it?”

“You’ve been passed out in your seat for so long how do you know I didn’t drive us to Florida?” Louis jokes.

“I’d have been a better travel companion if you hadn’t kept me up all night.” Harry points out.

Louis watches Harry’s face light up as the park comes into view. “What can I say; I got horny...Four times. I think that’s our record, we should aim higher Haz.”

Harry is barely listening at this point, trying to get a better glimpse of the park. “Yes lets go for five then. We can alternate who bottoms so nobody gets hurt and- IS THAT THE CASTLE?!”

“You know we actually get to go _into_ the park right?” Louis turns to see Harry snapping photos with his phone. “You’re so strange honestly.”

Harry ignores him. “Is it like they depict on telly? Do Mickey and Minnie really just stroll around? There’s rides there right like proper big ones? Will we have time to do everything in one day?” 

“There’s a lot of waiting in long lines, they don’t put that in the commercials. Otherwise it’s pretty much what you’d hope it to be. People do walk around in costumes but it creeps the shit out of me out so I’ll be keeping a fair distance.” Louis pulls into the parking lot.

“We’re here! Oh my heart can’t take this, I- LOOK HOW BIG IT IS!”

Louis laughs. “Someone’s excited; remember to stay by my side, no wondering off, and no talking to strangers. Got that?”

“Yes daddy.” Harry says under his breath.

Even though it was a joke, Louis finds himself oddly turned on, and at the worst possible time because they’ve parked and are about to enter the most magical place on earth.

 

 

“Ooh it’s Halloween themed!” Harry pulls Louis along by the hand, passing a giant Mickey Jack-o-lantern. 

“You’re such a giddy little frog right now slow down.” Louis struggles to keep up with Harry’s long strides. 

“I don’t know what to do first, what rides are there? Ah I’m so overwhelmed.” Harry finds himself frazzled.

“We’ll get to do everything don’t worry.” Louis assures him. “If not we can get those fancy passes and come every week if you want.”

That stops Harry in his tracks. “What? Are you serious?”

“Well maybe not every week, I tend to overdose on good things like when I made the aquarium my second home. I’m just saying you don’t need to stress out, we’ll be visiting plenty.”

Harry gathers Louis into his arms for a hug. “I found prince charming, who knew he’d have so many tattoos and a potty mouth.”

Louis pulls away and fixes his fringe. “Fucking right he does.”

“Not around the children Lou!” Harry gestures around at all of the kids. “Use your nice words!”

“Um...Freakin’ right he does?”

“Good enough.” Harry takes his hand again. “Oh there’s the gift shop we almost missed it.”

Louis laughs. “Half this place is gift shops you poor sheltered child. Literally, there are tons. But we can go in them all if you like.”

Harry pulls Louis towards it. “Just to look, don’t need to get anything.”

 

 

It only takes 30 seconds for Harry to completely change his mind. “They have a Nemo section, I want it all!” 

Louis nods and starts pulling one of everything off the shelves, filling his little arms with as much as he can.

"No no don't actually buy me everything silly.” Harry starts putting things back. “This stuff costs real money.”

Louis hangs onto a small Nemo stuffed animal. “Bringing home a ridiculous amount of Disney merch is a rite of passage. We should get cheesy matching ears too, be that disgustingly cute couple.”

“Who gets to be Minnie?” Harry holds up a set of ‘his and hers’ ears.

“Is this us having the ‘who’s the girl in our relationship talk’ because we can both get Mickey ones you know.” Louis informs him.

“I want the Minnie ones they’re prettier.” Harry shrugs casually.

Louis smiles victoriously. “Solves that then.”

“I’m not the girl. I just want to be Minnie...” Harry blushes.

“Sure baby. Whatever you say.”

“Wait hold on, I see what I want. Don’t look.” Harry takes off to another section.

“What did I say about wandering off?” Louis puts his hands over his face. 

“Sorry daddy, I’m right over here.” Harry says fully aware of the effect he’s having on Louis.

“Stop calling me that.” Louis growls into his palms. “I’m only six years older than you...”

“Ok you can look now.” 

Louis opens his eyes to see Harry grinning from ear to ear in a Minnie Mouse hoodie with built in ears. “For Christ sake’s Hazza you can’t look that cute or I’m going to maul you in front of children.”

“You like it then?” Harry asks shyly. 

“Little bit.” Louis lifts up on his toes to kiss Harry’s lips. "I’m so lucky you’re mine.”

 

 

“Mommy why are they holding hands?”

“Because they love each other, just like mommy and daddy.”

“But they’re both boys.”

“Yes sweetie that’s normal, sometimes boys like other boys. Girls can like other girls too.”

“Can I hold hands with boys?”

“If you want to yes, when you’re older.”

 

Harry smiles, overhearing the woman and her son standing in line behind them. “She reminds me of my mom.” He whispers to Louis. “That’s exactly what she would say.”

“Your mom sounds amazing, I wish everyone was like her.” Louis walks forward as the line moves.

“She was amazing. _Is_ amazing. Haven’t really heard from her in a while...” Harry stares ahead expressionless.

“Haz...” Louis gently tugs on Harry’s arm to get his attention. “Did you and your mom have a falling out?” He suddenly realizes how weird it is that Harry hasn’t called or mentioned his family since they’d been dating.

Harry looks guilty. “I kind of...cut her out of my life a little.”

“Why?” Louis can’t fathom being lucky enough to have a mother and shutting her out.

“It made things hard for my relationship.” Harry tries to explain, hearing how stupid it sounds. “She got really involved and it made Dan upset... Looking back though he started to get upset about everything so maybe that wasn’t really on her.”

“I’m not Dan, your mom can get nice and involved now. She can move in if she likes, get a job in the lab. We’ll carpool to work.” Louis tries to lighten the mood.

“You’re just saying that, you don’t know what she’s actually like.” Harry sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.

“She made you the way you are, I love her already.” Louis says softly.

That gets to Harry. “I miss her so much. It’s been almost a year since we’ve talked. I can’t even remember the last thing I said to her. Something about not calling so much, how I needed space, oh god I’m a terrible son. I probably broke her heart...”

“Call her.”

“Yeah I should do that sometime soon.” Harry looks like his day has been ruined.

“Call her.” Louis holds out his phone. “I’ve got free long distance.”

Harry eyes the phone suspiciously. “Now? I can’t we’re...here.” 

“And we’re gonna be here a while, you’ve got plenty of time.” Louis extends the phone further until Harry takes it.

“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” Harry says quietly.

“She will.” Louis doesn’t doubt himself for a second.

Harry stalls. “How do you know...maybe she hates me now.”

“She’s your mom, and from what I’ve heard she is a wonderful one. She’s going to be happy to hear from you. Now call her up so you can start being happy too.” Louis swipes open his phone in Harry’s hand. “What’s the number, I’ll dial, that’s the hard part.”

“Really you think I should? Oh wow I’m nervous, she’s probably at work I’ll try her cell...Am I actually doing this? Oh god...” Harry has never been more nervous and excited at the same time. He recites the number and Louis dials, then wraps his arm around Harry’s waist as they shuffle forward in line.

“It’s ringing...I don’t think she’s gonna-Mom! Yeah it’s Harry, this is my boyfriend’s phone. My new boyfriend... Yeah I broke up with Dan... Mom I’m so sorry I...No _I’m_ sorry... His name is Louis, I want you to meet him. ..Yes he’s amazing, we’re in Disneyland right now! ... I’d love that too you should come visit! ...Ok yeah no problem.”

Harry turns to Louis. “She has a customer. She said she wants to meet you though!”

Louis squeezes him tighter.

“Ok I’ll let you get back to work. We’ll talk again soon ok? Love you too mom.” Harry hangs up the phone, and immediately starts tearing up.

Louis rubs his back comfortingly. “Aw babe, are you ok? Are these happy or sad tears?”

“Happy tears. Hearing my mom’s voice again, that was really nice.” Harry smiles, a single tear falls down his cheek.

Louis gently wipes it away. “That was really brave of you. I’m so proud babe.”

“That was all because of you...” Harry stares awestruck at his boyfriend. “You amazing human, where did you come from and how did I manage to make you mine?”

“I was born in the dark, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man... something like that.” Louis says in a deep voice.

“So you’re Batman?” 

Louis’ mouth opens in surprise. “You think that’s Batman’s speech? You can quote an entire episode of Spongebob but you haven’t seen The Dark Knight Rises?”

“Superman?” Harry bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling.

“You were closer with Batman, fool. I’m Bane!”

Harry shrugs, playing dumb. 

Louis puts his hand over his mouth to muffle his voice and does a surprisingly good Bane impression. “You have my permission to die.”

Harry looks at him fondly. “I knew the whole time I was just messing with you.”

Louis gasps. “Harry how dare you play with my emotions like that!”

Harry laughs and pulls him forward. “Remember that voice, it works for me.”

“You minx!” Louis grins into Harry’s chest. 

“Seriously though, thank you for that. You’re really incredible babe.” Harry kisses his hair.

“Alright alright, I’ve maxed out on your compliments, you’re so soft and cheesy today someone’s going to spread you on a cracker.” Louis wiggles out of his arms.

Harry smiles. “Can’t help myself, I’m in love and I’m in Disney! Doesn’t get any more romantic than this.”

“Move over Paris, Disney has taken over. Is it the deep friend churros or the hoards of runny nosed children that does it for you?”

“Definitely the churros.” Harry decides. “Deep fried love.” 

 

“That was adorable, especially the ending. I love happy endings.” Harry and Louis exit the ride.

“It was ok, I think the fish may have been fake...” Louis takes his hand again.

Harry gasps. “What are you serious? No. They were definitely real. Real, talking fish brought to life by the power of Disney.”

“I’ll bring you to life...” Louis grabs a handful of Harry’s bum.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me ink!” Harry cries out dramatically.

Louis snorts. “You’re goofy sometimes.” 

“Speaking of...Look who it is!” Harry points ahead and pulls Louis along.

“Nope. No way. Not happening.” Louis drags his feet on the pavement.

“Aw is little Lou scared of Goofy?” Harry scoops him up into his arms and carries him.

“I’m scared of whoever is hiding inside the costume.” Louis struggles to get down, loses.

“Shush there’s nobody inside there because he’s real. Now let’s go get a picture before people start crowding him.” 

“Ugh Haz...” Louis gives up.

“Hello Goofy, it’s nice to meet you. My friend here’s a little afraid of you so be gentle with him ok?” Harry sets Louis down. 

“Friend? I’ve been demoted?” Louis straightens out his wrinkled shirt.

“ _Boyfriend._ My sparkly cupcake princess boyfriend.”

Goofy puts his hands over his mouth in surprise.

“Try again.” Louis says unimpressed.

“My rugged and handsome boyfriend.” 

Goofy holds up his arms like he’s flexing.

“That’s more like it.” Louis doesn’t fight it as Goofy pulls them both into a hug.

“Can we get a picture sir, or miss, whoever you are?” Louis asks Goofy as he hands his phone to the on looking park employee.

Goofy places his hands on his hips like he’s angry.

“Stop ruining the magic Lou.” Goofy wraps his arm around a triumphant Harry’s shoulder. “See he likes me better now.”

Louis pouts. “Is this dog trying to steal my man?”

“Goofy’s not a dog, Pluto’s the dog.” Harry states.

“Then what is he?” Louis looks Goofy up and down trying to figure it out.

Harry strokes his chin. “Isn’t he a mouse like Mickey?”

“What are you?” Louis demands.

Goofy shrugs.

“Alright I’m gonna have PTSD from this lets get our picture.” Louis wraps an arm around Goofy’s waist and smiles.

 

“Lou...”

“Yes baby.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

Louis pulls a few crumpled bills out of his pocket. “I’m low on cash, do you have any?” 

Harry adds some change of his own. “That’s enough for one I think. We can share.”

“How about we get one and I lick it off your ass?” Louis blurts out.

Harry raises his eyebrows. “That escalated quickly.”

“Sorry I’m just really damn horny.” Louis says in frustration. 

“We’re not doing it in a bathroom stall.” Harry informs him.

Louis looks at him funny. “I didn’t ask..?”

“You were thinking it.” Harry says matter-of-factly. 

“Fine I was. How did you know?” Louis wonders.

“Cause I was thinking it too.” Harry admits.

“Lead the way then.”

 

 

“That was...adventurous.” Harry licks away at the ice cream cone in Louis’ hand.

Louis watches his boyfriend’s tongue. “I pictured it going smoother. Those stalls are too small.”

“You made up for the lack of space with enthusiasm.” Harry winks.

“I had a craving...” Louis says unapologetically. 

“Mmm yeah?” Harry opens his mouth wide and wraps his lips around the entire cone.

“Are you looking for a round two cause that’s how you get a round two.” Louis feels another rush of blood to his groin.

“I’d like another ride.” Harry sits back so Louis can have some of the ice cream.

“On this dick?” Louis takes a lick.

Harry scoffs. “I was thinking Splash Mountain...”

“Oh I’ll splash inside your mountain.” Louis mentally pats himself on the back.

Louis’ phone dings. “Give me a minute to come up with more killer Disney inuendos.” He passes over the cone and pulls out his phone and sees a text from Liam.

 **Liam:** You and Harry don’t have the flu, you’re at Disney you motherfucker

 **Louis:** Nah mate you’ve got it wrong, we’re in bed watching Disney movies. Easy mistake no hard feelings

 **Liam:** I know you’re lying, you’re officially in trouble

 **Louis:** How do you know?

 **Liam:** I know everything, I have sources. I’m James Bond.

 **Louis:** Harry posted pics on Instagram didn’t he...

 **Liam:** Yes he did

 **Louis:** Ok what’s this gonna cost me, a round of beer this weekend?

 **Liam:** Hah, nice try but you’re not off that easy

 **Louis:** Don’t say it...

 **Liam:** Your work will be waiting for you when you come in tonight

 **Louis:** But Liam :( What about the parade, and the fireworks

 **Liam:** I don’t care how late you come in, but you’re getting this shit done before tomorrow

 **Louis:** You’re mean. I was gonna bring you a stuffed Pluto but you can kiss that goodbye now

 **Liam:** I’ll survive

 

Louis sighs, pocketing his phone. “I can see you’re new to being a badass. Lesson 1: When you skip work to do fun things, don’t document it on social media.”

“Oh my god did Liam see? Is he mad? Am I fired?”

“Nah he’ll get over it...once we work our shift tonight.” Louis sneers.

“Tonight? Aw Lou I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Harry sinks into the bench.

“S’alright love, we’ll make it fun. There’s a little something I’ve been wanting to try out actually. Needed to get you there after hours.”

“Are we gonna turn off the fume hood and get high?” Harry asks a little too quickly.

Louis takes the cone back. “Um no, what?”

“Joking. Duh.” Harry watches as Louis gets ice cream all over his nose in an attempt to take a bite. “Finally, hold still.” He leans forward and licks it off. “Why share food if it doesn’t lead to stuff?” He notices more on Louis’ bottom lip and gently kisses it. “There. All clean.”

Louis’ breath hitches as Harry places more kisses on his neck. “Don’t think I got any there.”

Harry doesn’t stop. “You did. So much. Gotta clean you.” He mumbles into his neck.

“You’re gonna get us kicked out.” Louis tilts his head to give Harry more space. “Contain yourself.”

Harry finally pulls away. “You’re right sorry.” He stands up. “I still want that ride.”

 

 

“Uh oh babe look.” Harry points to the ‘you must be this tall to ride’ sign. “Looks like you’ll have to sit this one out.”

“Hilarious.” Louis stands by the sign to prove himself. “Looks like everyone’s getting ready for the parade, there’s no line."

They make their way through the empty dividers until they’re at the front.

“Have you done this one before?” Harry asks as they get into the log.

“Nope.” Louis suddenly remembers what he’s getting himself into, this ride has a big drop at the end...

“Careful.” Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ torso from behind. “Wouldn’t want you to fly out.”

“Hey you two.” The guy sitting in the log in front of them turns around.

“Can I help you?” Louis asks defensively.

“When the camera flashes, do this.” He raises his arms in the air, closes his eyes and tilts his head like he’s asleep.

Louis snickers. “Why?” 

“We’re all gonna do it, it will make a funny picture.” He explains.

“C’mon Lou be a good sport.” Harry rubs his shoulders.

“Anything for you.” Louis says more genuinely than he means to.

They float leisurely through caves of conniving rabbits and singing bears. “This is honestly so creepy.” Louis leans back into Harry until he feels his arms wrap around him. 

“Don’t worry babe I’m here.”

“Beware the foxes? What are the foxes going to do? This feels like doom.” Louis looks around wildly.

Harry shushes him. “It’s just a ride love.”

“We’re definitely going to die.” Louis says melodramatically. 

Lightning flashes above and two animatronic vultures tell them to turn around, ‘if only you could.’  
They begin ascending into a narrow tunnel of the cave with a light at the end.

“Oh no no no Harry this is it, this is where it ends. Who’s going to take care of Turtle? There’s so much I haven’t done, I’m so young!” Louis blabbers on as they approach the opening.

“I love you Harry! Always remember that! Loved you right from the start, I-AHHHHHHHH” They plummet down into the mist, getting sprayed with water until they hit the bottom and are engulfed in a big splash.

“I’m wet!” Louis shrieks. “I didn’t know you get wet!”

Harry laughs behind him. “You thought you’d stay dry on _Splash_ Mountain?”

“At least I survived, that was a close one.” Louis examines his arms like he’s expecting to find damage.

“You nearly flew out, I held onto you and saved your life.” Harry leans in to nuzzle Louis’ neck. 

“You’re my hero Harry.” Louis smiles, letting Harry dote on him.

 

“You look like a baby hedgehog at the spa.” Harry watches Louis wrap himself in a Finding Nemo towel.

“Your boyfriend is cold, do your job.” Louis pouts.

Harry wastes no time before snuggling Louis. “This was literally the best day ever. And I know you hate when people overuse the word ‘literally’, so know that I literally mean literally.”

Louis squirms happily in Harry’s arms. “I can’t believe we still have to go to work tonight. I’m already sleepy.”

“I can drive home while you nap.” Harry offers, watching the sky in anticipation.

“Normal, smart people would have skipped the show and gone home by now.” Louis point out.

“We’ve never been normal, have we.” Harry counters.

Louis shakes his head. “Not at all.”

“I know I’m a block of brie cheese, but you really are the love of my life Louis.” Harry says as fireworks begin exploding in the sky above them.

Louis feels like he could die of happiness. “And you’re mine. Forever.”


	38. Chapter 38

11:30 PM

 **Niall:** I'm so bored ugh. Why did I agree to switch shifts with Troye?

 **Zayn:** Because you are way too nice

 **Niall:** Remind me never to take another night shift

 **Zayn:** Was already planning on it, this is shit for me too

 **Niall:** How so?

 **Zayn:** Can't sleep

 **Niall:** I keep telling you there's no monsters under the bed ;)

 **Zayn:** Lol I'm aware

 **Niall:** Why can't you sleep then?

 **Zayn:** You know why

 **Niall:** Say it

 **Zayn:** You got upset last time I did, you said it was too serious

 **Niall:** I won't this time, it's just a text

 **Zayn:** No babe

 **Niall:** I'm sorry, I'm being so weird

 **Zayn:** It's ok you're fine

 **Niall:** I'm making things so hard between us, I don't know what my problem is. This friendship is important to me and I don't want to screw it up and lose you

 **Zayn:** I won't let that happen. You're not going to lose me so don't stress it ok?

 **Niall:** Ok :(

 **Zayn:** Has your shift been busy

 **Niall:** Not at all, I've had 2 CBCs in the last hour. I'm trying to get around the blocker thing so I can watch Netflix on the work computer

 **Zayn:** Don't watch The Office

 **Niall:** C'mon

 **Zayn:** I had to wait for you to catch up, you're waiting for me now

 **Niall:** Fine fine...

 **Niall:** Send me a pic

 **Zayn:** Of what

 **Niall:** Your face

 **Zayn:**

Here. Your turn

 **Nial:**

Hangin out in the staff lounge! 

**Zayn:** Nice tongue

 **Niall:** Thanks :p :p :p

 **Niall:** Are you naked :| 

**Zayn:** I'm wearing pants

 **Niall:** I don't believe you

 **Zayn:** Well I was before you sent me that pic...

 **Niall:** :O

 **Zayn:** Yup that's what I'm picturing. Nice and wide

 **Niall:** I'm not talking to you anymore

 **Zayn:** Good I need both hands for this anyway ;)

 

12:50 AM

 **Niall:** Can you tell me...just once and I promise I won't get mad. Just tell me once and I'll delete it after and we can pretend it didn't happen

 **Zayn:** What do you want to hear

 **Niall:** How you feel about me

 **Zayn:** I don't think that's a good idea

 **Niall:** Why not

 **Zayn:** I'm trying to stop you from screwing this up, like you said

 **Niall:** This won't screw things up 

**Zayn:** It's too much for you to hear right now

 **Niall:** Just tell me why you can't sleep

 **Niall:** Please...

 **Zayn:** Because you're not here in my arms

 **Niall:** Zayn I'm in love with you

 **Niall:** Don't respond to that... fuck I'm sorry. Delete it please 

**Zayn:** Ok...

 **Niall:** I think I should go home after my shift, that way I won't wake you up

 **Zayn:** Please don't do this. We can pretend nothing happened, it's deleted now

 **Niall:** You read it though, you know

 **Zayn:** I don't know anything. Didn't read it

 **Zayn:** Are you ok? Do you want me to come visit for a bit? 

**Zayn:** Please answer me babe

 **Niall:** You call everyone babe right

 **Zayn:** I do

 **Niall:** And you flirt with all your friends, you said that

 **Zayn:** Yes...

 **Niall:** I'm sorry I'm so afraid of this. I'm sorry I'm putting you through it

 **Zayn:** You haven't done anything. It's fine

 **Niall:** It's really not though

 

1:25 AM

 **Nial:** Are you up?

 **Liam:** I am now

 **Niall:** Shit, go back to sleep

 **Liam:** What's up Niall

 **Niall:** I just... Idk I needed advice maybe

 **Liam:** I'm all ears. All eyes I suppose

 **Niall:** Zayn makes me confused, about how I feel about...guys and stuff. I'm 27 for fuck's sake this shouldn't be happening now! This is the shit you sort out in primary school. I know I like girls, I've had sex with girls, liked it. I think I'm just misunderstanding our friendship

 **Liam:** Niall maybe you're bisexual

 **Niall:** I'm not. I don't like guys

 **Liam:** But you like Zayn

 **Niall:** As a friend

 **Liam:** You're going in circles here mate. Let me put it this way; stop focusing on the label. Gay, straight, bi, who cares? Don't ignore your feelings just because of what they might mean. Zayn's amazing guy, can't say I haven't thought about him once or twice myself. 

**Niall:** You thought about Zayn???

 **Liam:** He's hot, sure I have. I still consider myself straight. It's 2016, ask anyone and they'll tell you 'sexuality is fluid'. There are no rules anymore

 **Niall:** I still have rules

 **Liam:** Is he worth breaking them?

 

\------------------------------------------

 

Harry looks around the room in amazement, taking it all in. He fiddles with his rings as he speaks. "We're not supposed to be in here."

Louis smiles triumphantly. "No we're definitely not. Liam had it coming though, using the same password for his phone and his door lock."

Harry walks over to the desk. "We should protect these slides, the microscope too. Everything here is so breakable. He starts moving everything to the side, painstakingly slow and careful.

"Enough redecorating." Louis growls impatiently. "I want your ass on the goddamn desk." 

Louis can manipulate Harry like a marionette doll. He knows what to say to make him hard, to make him pant, to make him come. He knows where Harry's most sensitive spots are, where he likes to be kissed softly and where he likes to be bitten roughly. He loves how vulnerable Harry can be, how he can completely relinquish control and let Louis take over. 

Harry lifts himself up onto the desk obediently, then watches with darkening eyes as Louis steps in between his legs and engages him in a passionate kiss. Louis lets his hands slide up under Harry's scrub top, feeling his broad chest heave up and down as Harry breathes deeply.

"You like this?" Louis taunts, wrapping Harry's legs around his waist and kissing along the side of his neck. Harry moans and laces his fingers deep into Louis' hair, trembling when Louis' sharp teeth graze along his jugular. "Defiling your boss's desk." 

Louis used to find it unnerving, talking to Harry like this, figuring out what to say. Now he doesn't think twice, watching Harry carefully as he speaks and loving the obvious way it affects him. 

"I bet you like getting fucked at work, knowing anyone could walk in on us." Louis knows for a fact that the door locked behind them, but the sentiment seems to be working on Harry, making him moan and squeeze Louis tighter. 

Louis runs his hand up Harry's thigh and over his bulging crotch. "You're so dirty, getting hard at work." He pushes the palm of his hand down and Harry gasps out "Fuck". Louis spreads his hand wide to fondle him properly over the fabric. Harry starts bucking into his hand, so Louis steps back and unties the drawstring on both of their scrub pants, then lets them pool onto the floor. He slips off their briefs as well so Harry's bum is pressed bare against the desk. The cool wood against his skin makes Harry yelp.

"How badly do you want this?" Louis pushes Harry back so he's leaning on his forearms, and spreads him with one hand while running the other up Harry's thigh.

"So bad." Harry mewls, arching his hips to further expose himself. Louis spits on his fingers then wipes the wetness against Harry's hole and presses into him. Harry reacts immediately, moaning loudly...too loudly.

"You need to keep quiet for me, can you do that?"

"Yes..."

_Please say it..._

...daddy"

_Oh god yes._

Louis isn't sure what is about the name, but it feels even more powerful than 'master'. He shudders with need, running his hands up Harry's thighs and driving his cock deep into his ass. 

Harry brings his forearm to his mouth and bites down into his flesh to keep from screaming as Louis nails him. The desk shifts under his weight. Papers ruffle and slides clink against the side of their box. It adds to their symphony off Harry's muffled cries and Louis' deep groans. 

Louis pulls him back up, flat against his chest and starts sucking on his neck making Harry's strained sounds become more desperate.

"You'll be walking around marked for weeks, everyone will know you're _mine_. They'll see you with me and know who you belong to. Who your daddy is." Louis bites down on the already bruised skin.

This pushes Harry past his own control. He moans loudly, echoing off the office walls. 

"You want people to hear you baby? Hear how good I'm fucking you?" Louis snaps his hips faster and deeper into Harry. 

"Need to come." Harry gasps as digs his nails into Louis back. 

"Wait." Louis barely gets the word out before his own orgasm erupts from the bottom of his stomach, pushing forward as hard as he can to spill deep inside of Harry.

As soon as he's finished he slips out and drops to his knees. He takes Harry into his mouth and gives him rough head, letting it hit the back of his throat on every thrust. He taps on Harry's knees and its all the permission he needs to release into Louis mouth, relinquishing any remaining attempts to be quiet and filling the room with a string of _yes daddy yes._

Harry lies back, letting Louis pool out of him onto the desk. He looks completely wrecked, so fucking filthy.

Completely spent, Louis wastes no time getting Harry cleaned up and bringing him back down. "I love you so much baby, always so perfect for me." He helps him back into his clothes and wipes the sweaty hairs from his brow. 

Louis decides to not be a completely terrible person, and takes a Virox wipe to the desk before putting back all of Liam's belongings to their rightful place. With it's strong scent, their sin is erased.

"Wait one more thing." Louis turns back and reaches into his bag. "Gotta leave Liam his present." He pulls out a stuffed Pluto and places it on the desk.


	39. Chapter 39

 

"Forget what they taught you in scouts Payno, we're doing this the Tommo way." Louis lays down his stick and tosses the cue ball high into the air. It lands in the centre of the racked balls with a loud thud, but works surprisingly well, sinking two balls.

Zayn groans. "Louis you idiot!"

"The one time you don't use your stick." Liam shakes his head.

Harry grins genuinely. "Penis joke."

Niall pats Zayn on the shoulder. "Louis just likes handling balls."

"You lot are easily amused tonight." Louis lines up for his next shot.

"I thought it was funny." Harry shrugs.

Louis hits the ball way to hard and it bounces off the table. "Lima bean is never funny. He wears fancy watches and sits in his fancy office, and thinks of ways to become even less funny then he already is."

"Speaking of which, how did you get in? And do I want to know what you did in there?" Liam retrieves the ball and places it back on the table.

Harry turns beet red. 

"Everything you've imagined and more, we did right on your desk." Louis grins. "Think of me when you're examining slides."

"Disgusting. You realize I could fire you right?" Liam folds his arms across his chest.

"You realize that's an empty threat cause you love me too much _right_?" Louis watches Zayn sink a ball with ease. It pisses him of for some reason.

Liam takes a chug of his beer. "Don't be so sure of yourself."

"If you were gonna fire him you'da done it when he came to work high as a kite." Niall grins cheekily.

"I forgot I worked that day..." Louis defends himself.

"Or when you caught him smoking in the bathroom." Zayn adds.

"Ok enough making me look like a delinquent in front of my man, he still thinks highly of me."

Harry wraps his arm around Louis' waist. "Sure do babe, for some reason."

"S'ok, I almost got fired when I stole those painkillers. Thought they were gonna can me for sure, mum was already planning our trip back to Bradford." Zayn lines up for his second shot.

"Imagine, Niall would have to be the mysterious bad boy of the group." Harry muses.

"Niall the bad boy? Give it a rest, Niall the church boy more like." Louis rolls his eyes.

"So, how does it feel to be 27?" Liam turns to Niall who's downing his fourth beer of the night.

Niall wipes the foam from his lip, missing some. "Feels the same, everything's still working as far as I can tell."

"The erectile dysfunction will set in soon, right?" Louis nudges Liam with his elbow.

"Wouldn't know. Cheryl keeps me quite functional." Liam counters.

Louis wrinkles his nose. "Ugh gross."

Zayn smiles at Liam proudly. "Things are getting pretty serious between you two."

"She's the one." Liam gushes. "Not to get sappy but I'm already planning the wedding in my head. Watson will be our ring bearer, I'll train him to walk down the aisle with a little satchel in his mouth."

"You say this right in front of him?" Louis motions towards Zayn "Are you ok mate?"

Liam smiles and shakes his head. "Oh I think he'll survive."

"I'll try but I'll miss you too much Liam." Zayn absent mindedly thumbs away the remaining foam from Niall's lips.

"This group has too much incest." Louis decides. "Raise your hand if you've seen Zayn's ass."

Louis, Liam and Harry raise their hands. Niall becomes visibly uncomfortable.

"Harry?" Liam demands, shocked.

"Erm...well..."

Louis ignores his stammering boyfriend to focus on Niall. "You mean to tell me Zayn didn't give you any for your birth-"

"Who wants another round of beer? Niall come help me." Zayn cuts him off, pulling Niall towards the bar.

Louis watches them with a scowl on his face. "That was rude."

"I'll get to you in a minute." Liam points to Louis. "Right now I want to know when Harry saw Zayn's ass."

"I saw it when..." Harry looks to Louis for help.

Louis starts playing pool again, out of turn. "Oh just tell him, who cares."

"When Zayn and Louis were...yeah." Harry mumbles.

Liam is taken aback. "Jesus Christ you three.... You had a threesome?"

"A twosome." Louis rectifies. "With an audience."

"Let's hope I can get that image out of my head." Liam downs the last of his beer. "I'm heading to the loo, keep it in your pants while I'm gone."

Harry turns to Louis who is bent down against the table trying to plan his shot. "Are you ok babe? You're feistier than usual tonight." He gives his back a gently rub.

"Yeah, just in a weird mood." Louis completely misses, then throws his stick down. "Pool's such a stupid fucking sport."

"At least be nice to Niall, we're here for his birthday." Harry reminds him, caressing the back of his neck.

"Where did he even go?" Louis looks around the bar. "They went to get drinks and now they're both gone."

Harry looks at him warily. "I dunno love but can you look at me?"

Louis turns to him. "What's wrong?"

"That's what I'm wondering." Harry knits his eyebrows. "You're not yourself right now."

"I'm just asking why 'the man of the hour' ditched us." Louis snatches his jacket up from their pile. "I'm gonna look for them outside, you coming?"

"Maybe you should take a minute for yourself to cool off..." Harry suggests.

"Whatever." Louis stomps off. 

When he gets outside it's not hard to find his friends. Zayn is resting on the curb with Niall seated between his legs, leaning against his chest. He takes a drag from the spliff between his fingers and turns to blow the smoke away from Niall, then ducks down to either kiss his face or whisper in his ear, it's too dark to tell.

Louis turns and kicks the door. "Motherfuck-" His toes become crushed in his Keds. "FUCK!"

He storms back inside, nearly knocking over a waitress on his way back to the pool tables. As if things couldn't get any worse, there's a guy talking to Harry now.

"Hey did you find them?" Harry inquires. 

Louis exhales aggressively. "Yeah they're just...Zayn's smoking."

"Oh ok." Harry points to the guy beside him, leaning against the pool table. "This is Nick."

Louis barely nods at him.

"And Nick this is my boyfriend Louis." Harry gives him a look that screams 'stop being such a bitch.'

"Nice to meet you." Nick extends his hand and Louis begrudgingly shakes it. "Harry was just telling me about your awesome job, so crazy that you do autopsies."

"Mhm." Louis hums.

"Listen." Nick points up. "They're playing Blink 182, that was the first concert I ever went to. What was yours Louis?"

"Take That." Louis deadpans.

"My first concert was Nickleback." Harry offers.

Louis claps his hands. "Don't you win the prize of coolness."

"Fine it was actually Cascada..." Harry grumbles under his breath.

Nick sighs longingly. "Cascada was the only woman to ever make me cry."

"That's deep." Harry acknowledges.

"Is it as deep as your voice?" Louis mocks.

Harry raises his tone to a higher octave. "That's deep!"

Louis scoffs. "What do you know about deep, I'm surprised you haven't named the balls yet." He pokes at the cue ball.

"I have, that one's name is Jimmy." Harry states.

Louis speaks for the ball as he lines up his shot. "No, Jimmy protested! Don't hurt me!"

He manages to sink two balls in one shot, but Harry didn't even see. He's staring into his glass of water, giggling with Nick.

"You missed the best shot of my life Hazza." Louis complains. "God, what has happened to our night? Everyone's ditched us and this prick is drooling over you like you're made of chocolate."

Harry frowns. "Be nice Lou, he didn't do anything."

Nick leers at him.

"Are you kidding me he's practically in your lap."

"Don't be like this..." Harry warns.

"Like what? Huh? Rational? I'm trying to have a nice time with my boyfriend but this..." Louis nods his head at Nick. "This giraffe looking fuck must think you're made of grass the way he's grazing on you." 

"Harry can I have your ice?" Nick holds out his hand. "Cause that was a wicked burn."

Harry dumps the cubes into his own hand instead, and holds them up to Nick's face. "Here you go."

Nick sticks out his tongue, hovering almost close enough to lick Harry's palm.

"I've fucking had it with you." Louis throws down his pool stick for the third and final time that night. He storms towards them and smacks Harry's hand away, knocking the cubes to the ground.

"Me!?" Harry questions.

Louis turns so Nick. "You have three seconds to get out of my sight."

"Or what?" Nick belittles. 

"Two...."

Nick crosses his arms.

_One._

Nick opens his mouth to speak, but it's a little preoccupied by Louis' fist at the moment.

"Stop!" Harry cries out as Louis hovers over Nick, delivering punch after punch to his face.

A group of guys from a nearby booth rush over and pull Louis off. Nick's face is covered in blood.

"Louis oh my god..." Harry sinks down to the ground. "Nick can you hear me?"

Nick grunts and pulls himself up. "Yep." He spits out a mouthful of blood.

"I'll call the police." One of the guys from the booth announces.

Nick holds up his hand. "Don't bother I'm fine, he's got tiny little fists."

Louis pulls himself out of the men's grip. "Oh get off me I'm done."

Harry looks at him like he's a stranger. "Why did you do that? You had no right!"

It feels like Louis' world is spinning. He looks at Nick's bloody face, then Harry's anguished one. "I don't know I was just so angry..." He thinks he might be sick. "Probably gonna get kicked out anyway I.." Louis walks backwards slowly towards the exit. "I'll meet you back home." He leaves without another word.


	40. Chapter 40

 

Louis buries his head under the covers, he's shaking uncontrollably. The crickets outside his window are the only thing breaking the daunting silence, mocking him with every chirp.

_What have I done?_

His motives seemed so clear right up until the moment he was pulled off of Nick. It was then that time sped up like someone had pressed fast forward, and his mind caught up with his actions as he realized he'd been punching him repeatedly, intentions to neutralize him, kill him maybe... 

_How did I get to that point?_

Exhibit A: Zayn and Niall getting cozy in the parking lot. Zayn's heavily tattooed arms wrapped attentively around the blonde boy's body, shielding him from the night's breeze. The way the moon reflected off their figures, illuminating them into such a spectacle. How Zayn treated Niall, a precious, undamaged gift so pure he couldn't even exhale smoke onto his hair. Fuck, it felt like _such_ a betrayal. But how is he supposed to justify that now? Now that the moment has passed, there's absolutely no reason why that should have concerned him. Louis doesn't own Zayn in any way, and if he's being quite honest, Zayn deserves to have Niall. 

Exhibit B: Nick. Nick in his stupid blazer, and his stupid weird smiling mouth...Nick hovering over Harry like he's about to devour him. Nick wanted him, he didn't care that he was taken. It didn't matter that Louis was right there watching, he was going to make a move on Harry. Or at least that's how it seemed at the time, didn't it? Maybe he was just being friendly, Harry sure seemed to think so. Either way it was wrong to punch him, oh god _I punched him,_ so many times, in the face, there was blood...

 _Ok calm down._ Louis' heart is racing. _I can fix this._

Damage control has always been Louis' best skill. There has to be a way to turn this around, but how?  
Lying to Harry is out of the question, but admitting that seeing Zayn with Niall set him off first seems even worse... 

_Why can't I think of anything?_

He hears the front door open, and instinctively sinks down further into the covers for protection.

"Louis?" Harry walks into the room. "I know you're not sleeping yet, can we talk please."

Louis pokes his head out of the blanket. "Hazza..." Unexpected tears form in his eyes.

Harry sits down on the bed beside him. "What was that all about?"

"I'm so sorry, I let things get to me and I lost it, please..." Louis begs.

"Please? Please what?" Harry looks confused.

Louis chokes on his words. "Please... don't leave me."

"Oh Lou," Harry climbs into bed and pulls Louis up into his arms."I'm not going anywhere. I'm worried about you, we all are."

The guilt threatens to suffocate Louis. "Is Nick ok? "

"Yes he's fine, he got in a cab not long after you left. You're lucky he didn't press charges." Harry plays with Louis' arm, tracing the tattoos with his finger.

"I know..." Louis watches him outline the tic-tac-toe game.

"Then Cheryl showed up." Harry continues. "She wants us all over tomorrow night. If you're not up for it we don't have to go."

"No, I can rally." Louis has never turned down a party, especially not one at a mansion.

Harry moves on to the smaller tattoos, the cup of tea, stick man and skateboard. "Why don't we play it by ear? See how you're feeling tomorrow."

"Yeah that's fair." Louis concedes. 

Harry bites at his lip. "What set you off? Was that seriously all about Nick? You can't just go punching people for talking to me."

"I know that... it just feels like I'm constantly fighting people off to keep you mine. First I had to steal you from Dan, then I had to deal with Ed, now Nick... Is it always going to be this hard? I get why everyone wants you, trust me. You're gorgeous, breathtaking..."

"Is that really how you see things?" Harry stops touching him.

Louis whines at the loss of contact. "What do you mean, you're so hot..."

"No not that, the part about fighting people off. You think I'm some sort of property you need to watch over? A castle you need to defend? I chose to leave Dan, I chose to want you and not Ed, and I can choose to talk people at bars. I love that you're protective over me, god, you even saved my life maybe more than once, but that doesn't mean you need to have your guard up all the time. People might look at me, people might flirt with me, but I'm still yours. I love _you_. You're the one and no matter how many guys talk to me that's not going to change. So give your suit of armor a rest and just be my boyfriend for a while, ok?"

Louis feels lost. Protecting Harry has been his sole purpose from the start. "I just felt all of these things and... Nick seemed like such a threat."

"You thought that 'giraffe looking fuck' was a threat?" Harry repeats Louis' insult from earlier that night.

"When he looked at you I could see fire... fire hallowing souls. He turned into a dragon and all I wanted to do was slay him." Louis tries to explain himself.

Harry pokes at Louis' bird tattoo. "Continuing my knight metaphor, very nice."

"I'm serious, I couldn't believe the rage building up inside me. It terrifies me that I'm capable of that." Louis breaths labored against Harry's clothed chest.

"Don't be terrified, it's done now. We're safe here now." Harry assures him.

"...Harry I'm not Dan." Louis finally says what's been subconsciously disturbing him.

"I know you're not. You just got confused, that's all." Harry says as convincingly as he can.

Louis lets silent tears flow down his cheeks. "I promise I'd never hurt you like that."

\------------

"Do you want to go to Cheryl's tomorrow? Cheryl and Liam's I should say." Zayn pulls off his shirt and jeans, then gets into bed.

"Yeah we should support Liam, he's a good guy." Niall crawls on top of him, settling down with his head on Zayn's chest. 

"He really is." Zayn kisses the top of Niall's head. "Sorry tonight turned out so shit. To be fair I knew it would from the start."

"It wasn't shit, I got to be around my mates, drink beer and play pool. Plus you were there and that's always enough." Niall keens as Zayn plants more kisses into his hair. 

"I love how positive you always are, makes me really happy." Zayn admires.

They lay in silence for a while, listening to the comforting chirp of crickets outside their window.

"Hey Zayn..." Niall eventually speaks up. "Are you drunk at all?"

"No, I only had like two beers." Zayn replies. "Are you babe?"

"Nah my buzz wore off an hour ago."

Zayn nods, having known this already. "Why'd you ask?"

"Because I want... I want to be completely sober for this." Niall says weakly.

"For what..." Zayn immediately misses the weight on his chest as Niall rolls off onto the bed beside him. They turn and lay facing each other.

"Your eyes..." Zayn is mesmerized. "I can never get over how blue they are."

"I like yours better." Niall stares back at him "They're warm."

Zayn finds his hand reaching for Niall's mouth, a reflexive touch that has become their way of sharing intimacy, like a secret kiss that no one understands except them. He runs his thumb along Niall's bottom lip so softly he can barely feel it. 

He wants this, so badly it hurts. He wants to throw caution to the wind and kiss Niall the way he's been dreaming of, the way he's been dying to. The only thing standing between them is knowing that for every toe he crosses over the line, he'll lose a mile in return. 

Except Niall looks vulnerable, like he'd used up every ounce of courage he had to get to this moment. Like maybe just this once... 

"Would you forgive me?" Zayn whispers, and it sounds as desperate as he feels.

Niall emits a shaky breath. "Yes."

"You need to know..." Zayn looks deep into his eyes. "How much you mean to me..." He can't hold back any longer. "The way I feel when I look at you..."

He looks down at Niall's lips where his thumb is resting. His heartbeat must be loud enough to wake the neighbors at this point. He finally removes his hand, then leans in and replaces it with his lips in a gentle kiss. 

Nothing has ever felt like this, so vivid and raw, his body afire with lust and love and _Niall_.

It's perfect, too perfect. He yearns for more, to stop holding back and take what has clearly been his from the start, but he can't. Because this is more than that, more than fulfilling his desires. It's about the interchanging of trust, Niall offering this piece of himself and Zayn proving that he will be there to stop the walls from caving in.

He needs to show Niall that the pillar he's been protecting for so long wasn't the one holding up the roof, that he can crumble his defenses and keep a sturdy structure. 

But as he pulls away, Niall bridges the gap and they're kissing again, more deliberately this time. Soft moans escape their lips as they ease into the kiss. It's soft and innocent, the way their lips part and meet again and again. No tongues, no urgency, solely this. Zayn doesn't dare move, leaving one arm under Niall's neck and the other draped across his body, scared to take this further even though his body begs for it. He kisses Niall's smooth lips as tender as he can bear, inhaling his scent and exhaling unsteady breaths. If he could choose one moment to replay for the rest of his life, this would be it.

Then Niall finally pulls away, parting enough for their mouths to disconnect but still close enough to feel the warmth of his breath, and rests back against the pillow. "Woah."

Zayn finds himself winded. "Good woah?"

"Very good." Niall stares at Zayn's lips "I didn't know kissing could feel like that."

"Like what?" Zayn pries, needing to be sure.

"Like my whole body was vibrating." Niall looks at him hopefully. "Did you feel it?"

"I did." Zayn forces himself to keep still despite wanting so badly to vibrate again.

Niall closes his eyes. "I don't know what this means."

"It can mean whatever you want it to. If that was too much, we can delete it and pretend we don't know it happened." Zayn's heart breaks a little as he speaks.

"I don't want to delete it, I want to replay it over and over again." Niall confesses. "I just don't want it to change anything else."

"Baby steps." Zayn shifts up higher onto the mattress and pulls Niall to his chest, feeling him shudder as he sighs. "What we do, it's our secret. Only you and I know."

"Thank you." Niall's voice is small and muffled. "I can't deal with more than this right now."

Zayn pets his head, flattening the blonde hair. "Then this is all we'll do."


	41. Chapter 41

 

200\. That's how many torches Louis counts in Cheryl's backyard. 200 citronella scented torches, surrounding the concrete clad patio, showcasing an enormous swimming pool complete with a swim-in cave. Lush xeriscape gardens obscure the yard from the neighbors, creating a private oasis, while the setting sun cloaks the scenery in a warm glow, reflecting off the surface of the crystal clear water. 

"It's quite picturesque." Harry notes, lounging into a padded recliner, causing his swim trunks to ride up on his thighs.

Niall sips at his beer. "It's like a movie star's backyard." 

"I guess it pays off to get divorced...twice. Let's hope she's not a gold digger trying to get Liam's pathology money." Louis surveys the several other empty seats, then climbs onto Harry's lap.

"Oof." Harry grunts as Louis' elbow digs into his thigh. "Watch what you say, she's coming."

Cheryl sashays across the pavement in a daring string bikini, carrying a tray of colourful mixed drinks. "Hello boys, Glad to see you're making yourself comfortable."

Harry shifts to better accommodate Louis. "Thanks for having us over, your place is incredible."

"Thank you sweetie, I barely entertain so it's nice to finally put the backyard to good use." Cheryl passes out the cocktails.

Louis twirls the tiny umbrella in his glass. "I'm surprised old Payno wanted us here in the first place." 

Liam strides over and throws his arm around Cheryl's shoulders. "I put up a good fight but she insisted on getting to know you all better."

"You already know me, right Cheryl." Niall grins. 

Cheryl tousles his hair. "Of course, you're my favorite employee. Always so eager to please."

"Zayn, get over here." Liam calls out. "Get my girlfriend off of Niall."

Zayn glides over to the side of the pool in three graceful breaststrokes, then uses his toned biceps to lift himself out of the water. He shakes out his hair, sending droplets flying in all directions. 

"That was like a Gucci ad." Cheryl exclaims, eyeing him up and down. 

A breeze blows through, giving Zayn a chill as he dries himself off with a fluffy towel.

"We get it, you're captivating." Louis rolls his eyes. "Enough with the show, take a seat."

"I wasn't doing anything." Zayn protests, sitting down beside Niall and pulling him into a soaking wet bear hug. "Impressed?" He whispers into his ear.

Niall blushes bright red. "I guess so."

"Well then." Cheryl hands Zayn a drink, visibly flustered. "Now that you're all here I want to make a toast, to my incredible boyfriend who I love so dearly. May we have many wonderful nights like this."

They all raise their glasses. "To Liam!"

"Nice save." Liam squeezes her bum. "Remind me to find some uglier friends."

"Eh, is it ok if I..." Zayn holds up a baggie of several joints.

"Are you going to share?" Cheryl sits down. 

Zayn raises his eyebrows, impressed. He lights up, takes a long hit then leans forward to pass it to Cheryl.

"See your friends are cool, you worry too much." Cheryl inhales then closes her eyes, blissed out by Zayn's high quality product.

"We're awful, trust me." Louis assures her, puffing and passing to Harry. "Haz have you smoked weed before?"

"A few times." Harry takes a drag, holding it in his lungs for several moments before exhaling perfectly formed smoke rings.

Louis is awestruck. "You've been holding back on me!" 

"I'm full of surprises." Harry smirks and hands the joint to Niall. 

Zayn reaches out for it, but Niall lets it smolder between his fingers. "I've never smoked before."

"You don't have to." Zayn says softly. 

"I wanna try it. Tell me what to do." Niall places the joint between his lips.

"Just inhale deep into your lungs." Zayn instructs, watching him carefully. 

The leaves burn red as Niall sucks in.

Zayn takes it from him. "Try and hold it in."

Niall only succeeds for a few seconds before coughing out the smoke, hacking repeatedly.

Zayn rubs his back. "S'ok babe, you'll get better."

"Can I try again?" Niall asks once he's caught his breath. 

"All yours, have at it." Zayn passes it back and lights a second joint.

The gate opens and everyone turns to see more guests filing into the yard.

"Athena!" Harry jumps out of his seat, knocking Louis onto the ground.

"Harry!" Athena runs over and tackles him into a hug. 

"Who invited the MLA's?" Louis grumbles, climbing back into the chair.

Kalel places her hands on her hips. "Oh Louis where would this world be without condescending people like you."

"Good thing we'll never have to find out." Louis says to himself.

Athena sits down by the pool and pulls Harry onto her lap. "Missed you!"

"Missed you too." Harry replies, enjoying the attention.

Courtney sits down beside them. "Isn't he the most gorgeous man you've ever laid eyes on?"

Harry giggles as she pinches his cheeks. "If I were straight, you'd be my type." She adds.

"If _I_ Were straight I'd go for all three of you." Harry replies smug.

"It's really too bad." Courtney smirks. "Plus Athena is vegan so she wouldn't go near your sausage."

"Oh my god Court." Athena snickers. "You're so vulgar."

Courtney smiles and bats her eyelashes. "You didn't seem to mind on the car ride over." She gives Athena's bikini bottoms a little tug.

"That's why you made me take a separate car?" Kalel furrows her brow. "You're killing the planet with your greenhouse gases so you can get off?"

Louis watches them giggle, then turns back to his friends, smoking and chatting. This was going to be a long night.

\-------------------------------

Zayn's gaze washes over Niall's body. "You're really fit."

"Thanks I've been working out." Niall flexes his arms. 

"I know, I'm usually there." Zayn reminds him, wading further into the cave. 

"Right." Niall looks lost in thought. 

Zayn waves a hand in front of Niall's face. "You ok babe?"

"Yeah just really high I guess." Niall keeps walking.

"In a good or bad way?" Zayn follows him.

Niall ponders. "I'm not sure yet."

"Try and relax." Zayn sits down into the water. "This place is trippy, with the lights n'all that."

Niall looks around like he's just noticed where they are. "Oh wow, this is romantic."

Zayn pulls him onto his lap. "You're drivin me a little crazy tonight."

"Why's that?" Niall eases into his touch.

"Seeing you dripping wet, in your little swim shorts...." Zayn runs his hands up Niall's arms. "Not being able to properly touch you with all of these people around."

"There's nobody around now."Niall hints.

"Mmm no there's not." Zayn kisses along his shoulder. "Is it ok if I do this?"

"Y-yeah"Niall breaths out a sigh of relief. 

Zayn moves up to his neck and starts sucking, lightly so he won't leave any marks. Niall melts beneath him. "Still ok?"

"Still ok.. Just don't like...no more than this." Niall adjusts his sitting position, synchronously grinding on Zayn's lap. 

"Got it." Zayn pecks and nips up to Niall's ear. "You need to sit still..."

As much as he fights it, Zayn ends up rock hard. His thick erection pressing against Niall's bum.

"Don't freak out..." Zayn pulls away and bites his lip, trying to will his arousal away.

"Why?" Niall turns around, confused.

Zayn feels himself rub against Niall's leg, making it very obvious. "Just...I'm sorry."

Niall catches on. "Oh...fuck." He pulls away and stands up.

Zayn rises out of the water, bringing more attention to the tent in his trunks. "It's not a big deal."

"It's _very_ big. Deal. A big deal is what I'm trying to say." Niall stammers.

Covering himself, Zayn's at a loss for words. "You..I couldn't help myself....I wasn't trying to-"

"Yes you were, that's why you... you drugged me!" Niall's eyes light up in paranoia. 

"What??" Zayn reaches for him but he backs away.

"You got me high then you brought me in here... You wanted this to happen!"

"No I didn't, you don't know what you're saying right now." Zayn tries to calm him down. "I'd never do that." 

Niall shakes his head. "I don't believe you." 

"Babe..." Zayn pleads

"Stop, get away from me. You keep trying to make me into something I'm not."

"Just wait a second... You're only acting like this cause you smoked too much."

"I'm not..." Niall looks right through him

Zayn sinks back into the water, defeated. "You are, you're high, you-"

"I'm not a fucking _faggot_ !" Niall spits. 

Zayn's jaw drops, aghast. 

"...Like you are." Niall adds quieter, stepping out onto the rocks and leaving Zayn frozen to the spot.

\-------------

"Stop it Courtney!" Harry bats her hands away, laughing uncontrollably. "I give up, you win!"

Louis sits cross legged on the edge of his seat, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He estimates it's been 20 minutes since he's spoken.

"You should come out with us on Tuesday." Kalel decides. "Wear something hot so we'll all get free drinks."

 _Wear something hot...fucking slut._ Louis takes a deep breath. _No. You can do this._

"Didn't I look hot last time?" Harry pouts, leaning back onto Athena's lap. "Lou wasn't I hot?"

Louis looks up, surprised to be acknowledged. "Sure babe, you looked good."

"Just good?" Harry gets up and walks over to Louis, kneeling at his feet. "Babe you don't seem like you're having fun."

"M' fine." Louis lies. "Just tired."

"We can go home if you want?" Harry offers. "I should have known, you've been so quiet."

_Oh so you did notice..._

"You're having fun, we'll stay." Louis places a kiss on Harry's head. "Don't worry about me."

Harry squeals at the gesture and jumps back onto Athena's lap. "You're so pretty." He purrs at her.

Louis shakes his head. What is Harry's deal? Does he not see that he's flirtier than a cat in heat?

Athena whispers something into Harry's ear, making him bite his lip.

_Can he not lay off for one fucking night?_

Louis stands abruptly, kicking his chair back so that it skids loudly on the concrete.

Harry and the three girls look up at him.

"I'm going to get a beer." Louis mumbles, then heads for the house. He can feel himself getting really angry again, and doesn't want to say anything in front of Harry that he will regret.

When Louis enters the kitchen, he's hit by the strong smell of weed. He follows it upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms, where he finds Zayn smoking on the balcony. Louis walks out and leans forward against the railing. "Are you enjoying the nice view of the L.A. skyline?"

"Just needed to get away from things for a bit." Zayn mutters.

Louis holds out his hand.

Zayn doesn't move. "It's a spliff." 

"I don't care." Louis takes it right out of Zayn's fingers and starts taking long drags.

"I thought you quit." Zayn eyes him suspiciously. "That's like 75 percent tobacco."

Louis shrugs. "Like I said, I don't care."

"Alright then." Zayn grips the railing and leans back. "What's got you all dark and brooding?"

"People." Louis says vaguely. "I don't like people. That's why I have a small group of friends."

"Harry likes people?" Zayn guesses.

Louis passes the spliff back. "Loves them. Clearly I'm the problem though, I'm the one who needs fixing."

"I think you're fine." Zayn offers. "Harry's already fixed you."

"And what about you? Not exactly a cheermeister yourself." Louis points out. "You need to be fixed too."

Zayn exhales over the balcony, staring out into the night. "I don't want to be fixed. I want to stay shattered in pieces because at least once I get used to it I'm numb. Breaking is the part that hurts."

"I broke you?" Louis inches closer.

"Twice."

"With Harry and..."

"Stan."

"Oh right.." Louis winces. "But now you have Niall and he-"

"Probably won't talk to me ever again." Zayn finishes his statement. "He thinks I was trying to rape him or something."

"Shit." Louis frowns. "He'll be ok when he sobers up."

Zayn shakes his head. "I dunno if I even care at this point. Doing this with him is so fucking draining. I can't keep feeling like I'm dragging him into something he doesn't want."

"But he does want you, and you want him." Louis jets out his chin to rest on Zayn's shoulder.

"Does he though?" Zayn becomes heated. "It shouldn't be this hard, if he really wanted me he'd stop fighting it so bad. I don't even know what the problem is, he won't tell me."

Louis thinks for a moment. "So you're giving up on him then?"

"Guess so." Zayn says sullen. "He called me a faggot."

"Damn."

Zayn raises his voice. "Honestly I shouldn't have put up with it as long as I did but it's _Niall_ you know? I forced myself to be patient cause it's not just some guy, it's Niall and he's special to me. I just hoped he'd come around eventually."

"Give me a hit." Louis catches him off guard.

Zayn turns so his hips are squared off with Louis'. He inhales then leans forward, pressing his lips onto Louis' parted ones and exhaling the smoke into his mouth. Louis takes it in, startled by their sudden closeness.

"That's more action than I've got all night." Louis tries to say lightly but his voice cracks. 

"Want more?" Zayn asks, taking another hit. 

Louis nods, unsure what he's agreeing to.

For the second time, Zayn leans in and shotguns into Louis' mouth. This time he continues to hover against Louis' lips, even after all of the smoke has seeped out. 

"Z..." Louis whimpers, knowing that if this continues, he won't be able to stop himself.

But Zayn has already made up his mind. He kisses Louis passionately, expecting to be pushed away at any second but instead, Louis gives it right back, pressing his tongue into Zayn's mouth. He laces his fingers into Louis' hair, kissing him deeper, moaning against his lips. "Louis."

He finally feels Louis' hands on his chest but when he opens his eyes Louis isn't pushing him off, he's stepping forward and pushing him inside. 

Once they're past the balcony and into the bedroom, Louis' hands travel down to Zayn's waist and untie his swim trunks.

Zayn watches him, afraid to speak, afraid he'll change his mind because right now Zayn _needs_ this.

Their suits fall to the floor, and Louis leans back in to kiss him again. It's smooth and familiar, like every kiss they'd shared before, but there is more to it this time. It's more intense because they know what a terrible idea it is, and what they are sacrificing for this moment.

Louis leans against bed, pulling Zayn on top of him, kissing down his neck. "I want you."

Hearing those words makes Zayn moan. "Yeah babe? You sure?"

Lying back onto the bed, Louis bends his knees and spreads his legs. "I'm sure, love you Zayn."

Something ignites inside of Zayn. "Love you Louis, so much."

Zayn enters him and it feels like their first time, slow and careful. The way Zayn eases in and out, whispering his name repeatedly as he gives Louis everything he has. Slow, deliberate thrusts, bending down to kiss Louis' lips as he grinds into him. They look into each other's eyes because right now nobody exists but them. None of the pain they've ever suffered exists because right now they're both so happy.

Louis lays beneath him, naked and unguarded, letting Zayn make love to him like it's the last thing they'll ever do. His orgasm hits unexpectedly and he keeps his cries soft, not wanting anyone to hear him say Zayn's name.

Zayn lets go as well, biting on Louis' ear and cursing as he fills him. He falls onto his forearms, quietly sobbing into Louis' neck. 

And as they continue to come down from their highs, the weight creeps onto their chests of what just happened. They hold each other close, not ready to face anything that lies outside this room.


	42. Chapter 42

As Louis descends the stairs alone, the gravity of the situation hits him. So does literal gravity. He trips on the steps, tumbles down to the bottom, and slams his shoulder into the hard tile floor.

And then he just lays there. Skin against the cool marble, bruising deep purple, not wanting to move because this still hurts less than what's about to happen. 

After ten minutes of solid self loathing, he picks himself up and trudges outside, having no idea what he's going to say. How do you break the news to your boyfriend that you just had sex with someone else? As gently as possible, most would agree. Louis of course fails at this too.

"Let's go Harry." He commands the moment he sees him curled up between Athena and Courtney.

"Wait Lou come here." Harry whines.

"I said _let's go._ " Louis puts on his dominant voice and Harry flies to his side. "Ok, sorry daddy."

Louis wants to cry. He wants to punch something. He wants to vomit. He goes with the third option, grabbing onto a nearby potted fern and heaving the contents of his stomach into it.

What a fucking mess.

Harry kneels down beside him. "Are you ok? Did you drink too much?" He places his hand on the small of Louis' back, and his touch feels like fire.

Louis shakes him off. "M' fine, I just want to get to the car."

"I think maybe you drank too much, I can drive." Harry offers.

"I haven't." Louis spits onto the grass. He wants to fucking die.

Harry trails behind him on their way down the long driveway. "Lou slow down, what's wrong? You're doing it again... you can't keep getting mad at me for this. Did you smoke? You smell like cigarettes... Slow down!"

"No I-"

"It's ok if you smoked, I don't care. Just tell me why you're upset."

"I'm not I-"

"Is it because I was talking to other people all night? Cause I was just socializing."

"Harry listen to me-"

"I'm sorry for upsetting you, I didn't mean to make you mad, I-"

"Stop! Not everything is your fault, not everything is about you! I have issues too you know!"

"I'm sorry I..."

"Harry I just fucked Zayn."

The earth stops spinning. Time stops passing. The colour is drained from their world. Louis' heart feels like it's about to give up on him, and he'd probably be thankful if it did because this is way too much to bear. 

Harry stops in his tracks, his eyes become a shade of black Louis has never seen before. "Are you serious..."

"I'm so sorry." Louis can hardly get the words out.

"Please tell me this is a joke." Harry's voice sounds like it's coming from miles away.

Louis reaches for him but he's backing away. "Harry I wish I could, please...."

"So there it is, just like I predicted from the start; you chose Zayn. I told you I wouldn't be surprised but, after how good things were between us, I suppose I am." Harry says coldly.

"I can't even tell you how horrible I feel right now." Louis isn't sure how coherent he is through his tears. "It was a mistake, I got caught up and he kissed me-"

"I don't want to hear this." Harry cuts him off sharply. "Stop explaining, it doesn't matter anyway."

Louis really can't handle this. "What do you mean..."

"We're done Louis." Harry hisses. "I...I can't even look at you right now." He begins to walk away, back towards the house.

"Harry please!" Louis cries out. "I don't want us to be over, I love you so much! I'll do anything!"

His words fall on deaf ears, as Harry doesn't turn back. He disappears through the gate.

Louis collapses onto the driveway. _What the fuck have I done?_

\---------------------------------------------

"There you are, I've been looking for an hour." Liam sits down on the grass.

Niall looks around. "Where's Zayn?"

"He went home." Liam says softly. "He asked me to come find you."

"Oh. Why didn't he come find me himself?" Niall leans back onto his hands, the cool blades of grass interlace his fingers.

Liam sighs. "He said he'd be the last person you'd want to see right now."

"That's not true at all." Niall admits. "I wish it was. It would be so much easier if I never wanted to see him again. Fuck, I feel so guilty and confused and scared but all I want is for him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok. What the hell is happening to me?"

Liam's had enough. "Ok straight up, you're going to tell me right now what's stopping you from being with Zayn."

"I don't want to be gay." Niall looks down at his legs.

"What's wrong with being gay? Three of your closest friends are." Liam reminds him.

Niall nods. "I know and that's totally fine for them."

"Then why can't it be fine for you?" Liam asks.

A minute passes before Niall can finally bring himself to say it. "He'd be so disappointed in me."

Liam doesn't understand. "Who would?"

"...My dad." Niall manages to choke out.

"Ah." Liam purses his lips. "Ok now we're getting somewhere. So you're dad is homophobic and he wouldn't accept it if you dated a guy."

Niall pulls at the grass. "Pretty much."

"I know how much your dad's opinion means to you. You've made him incredibly proud with what you've accomplished." Liam places his hand on Niall's to stop him from destroying the lawn. "But you can't let his image of a 'perfect son' dictate your entire life. Sometimes parents are wrong."

"I start to get comfortable with the idea... Zayn makes me feel really safe. Until I picture my dad's face, bitter and arrogant, calling me weak and feminine and... I can't bear it." Niall feels himself tear up.

"He's said those things to you?" Liam can't believe what he's hearing.

"Not about me, he'd see people on the telly or in shops, and he'd mutter things under his breath. Just loud enough to make sure I heard. It was a warning."

Liam looks at him earnestly. "That's him letting you down as a father. Nothing more."

"What am I supposed to do?" Niall looks up at the sky. "I can't be gay because it's too painful knowing that I'm hiding this horrible part of myself from my dad."

"It's not horrible." Liam corrects him

"Right, I know..." Niall mumbles.

Liam speaks with purpose. "No seriously, you need to be one hundred percent clear on this. Your feelings and who you love are perfectly normal, no matter what anyone else tells you. There is _nothing_ wrong with you."

"God what I wouldn't give to hear him say that." Niall says longingly.

"As tough as it is you need to come to terms with the fact that he probably never will." Liam says gently.

"I just...Why did this have to happen? Nearly 27 years and not so much as a _crush_ on a guy. Not one single heart flutter, not even a second glance. I was sleeping with women and I felt totally fine with it. Then all of a sudden, I couldn't stop thinking about my best friend." Niall bites at his nails. "We sat together in the tree house, and I started feeling things... I started wanting him. I told myself it was just a weird phase I was going through, that it would pass if I spent more time with him."

"And then what happened?" Liam urges. "Keep going."

"It became so much worse! Our hands would graze as I passed him the hammer and it felt electric. I looked into his eyes and I saw my goddamn future. Then I started sleeping in his bed, and I became totally out of my depth. His hands were all over my body... at first it would make me feel sick. I'd get up multiple times throughout the night, thinking I was gonna hurl. But then that faded and it felt so _good_ having his hands on me, and I wanted him to touch more of me. I wanted to feel him everywhere. The boundaries become larger and I let more things happen... you wanna know what last night was like?" Niall stares at him maniacally .

"Sure." Liam gulps.

"We were in bed, wearing nothing but our underwear, and he was spooning me. His chest against my back. One arm beneath my head and the other running up and down my thigh. I reached back and grabbed his bum, pulling him closer because somehow it still wasn't enough, I needed to be closer. His nose tickled, breathing against me as he gently kissed my neck, whispering about how beautiful I am, how much he fucking cares about me...That's how far this has gotten. That's what this has become. I can't pretend anymore, it's too damn obvious what this is." Niall buries his face in his hands.

Liam pats him on the back. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know... apologize to Zayn." Niall says small. "Hope that he'll forgive me...that he'll still want me."

"I think you should face your demon as well; talk to your dad, tell him the truth. I wont lie to you and say it's going to be easy because it won't. He might say horrible things, might make you feel shit about yourself for a while, but once it's over with then you can just let it go and be who you really are." Liam suggests.

"It terrifies me. The letting go." Niall confesses.

Liam shrugs. "It can't be as bad as this."

"You're right, this is shit. I feel awful. I hurt the person I care about more than anything else in the world, and for what? So I won't have to face the fact that I'm attracted to him? Sounds really stupid when I say it out loud." Niall shakes his head.

"You need to tell Zayn how you feel." Liam states.

"I can't face him tonight..." Niall pulls his knees to his chest and rocks back and forth. "Maybe not for a while."

Liam stands up. "You can stay here, as long as you need. Don't wait too long though cause he's hurting."

"Thanks Liam. You don't get enough credit for how great of a person you are." Niall watches him walk away, then pulls out his phone.

\---------------

Zayn stares up at the ceiling. It's been three hours and he still can't fall asleep. The trees cast eerie shadows onto his bedroom walls, dancing along as the breeze blows their branches, sending leaves soaring through the air. 

He wonders when it happened. At what moment in his life did he became so unlovable that everyone he cared about would blow in and out of his life, leaving him empty and bare, like maybe he'd imagined them all along?

At what moment had he became so undeserving of happiness, that it would be ripped out from beneath him every time he got comfortable? 

Niall's scent lingers in his room, still a trace of innocence on the pillowcase. It's sweet, where he laid. Zayn shuffles over to Niall's side of the bed, burying his face into the pillow and pretending for a moment that tonight hadn't happened. 

But his lips are still swollen from Louis' kiss, and his heart still aches from Niall's tongue.

_Why did I have to get hard? If I had any self control, he'd be here beside me where he belongs._

Being with Louis made it so much worse, because now he knew the truth; nobody but Niall would ever be enough. Louis' kiss would never compare. It was comfortable, soothing, but it didn't make him feel voltaic like Niall's lips once had. 

It was so much worse now, knowing with all certainty, that Niall was the one who held his heart. Niall who had crushed it in his bare hands hours earlier.

Zayn swings his arm over to the side table and pulls opens the drawer. He feels around blindly until he finds what he's looking for, a small bottle labelled 'Teasdale, Lou. Take one tablet every 8 hours.' He pops the cap, pouring three into his hand then tosses the bottle aside.

He lies in the darkness, running the tablets through his fingers, contemplating. It won't kill him, it will just get him through the night. Just this once. It won't become a habit. Not like before.

He holds them to his mouth and closes his eyes. _Just this once._

Then his phone vibrates.

He pulls it out from beneath his pillow, silently crying, and reads the message.

 **Niall:** Don't give up on me.


	43. Chapter 43

Harry doesn't come home that night. Or the next. On Monday he calls in sick to work.

When Louis gets home from his shift, the first thing he notices is that Turtle's tank is missing. He checks the bathroom and sure enough, no Finding Nemo toothbrush. Onto the bedroom, Harry's drawer is cleared out. The empty spaces stand out like they're the only things in focus. Vast, hollow omissions, sucking the life out of Louis. 

Then there's the lack of Harry. Louis hadn't realized how accustomed to having someone around he’d become. Harry had just been there, always. When he woke up, as he got ready, throughout the work day, on his drive home, and in his bed at night, Harry was always there. It's kind of insane how much time they'd spent together, but it became the norm and now life seems completely meaningless.

There is one thing he’s gained from all this, the nightmares are back. Vivid as ever, like he’s reliving the agony of his parent’s death every night.

It feels like Louis' stomach is being twisted into knots. He can't get a proper breath into his lungs, something is choking him. He can't eat, he can't sleep, it’s a scene from a bad movie.

His phone never leaves his hand, dialling Harry's number every hour and sending countless texts in between, but he might as well be shouting into a void. He clings to it anyway, praying to every god he can think of that it will come to life and bring Harry back to him.

Louis sits on his porch swing and lights up a cigarette, so fucking mad at himself. 

That day he'd cornered Courtney in the parking lot. He pounded his fist against the roof of her car, demanding she tell him where Harry was, but Courtney was a force to be reckoned with. He'd deeply considered following her home but she'd threatened to call the police and that would definitely make things worse. Maybe tomorrow he'd try Athena, she might be more sympathetic.

Louis takes deep drags, savouring the nicotine. It wasn't enough. Not even close.

The last time he'd felt this low, he had Zayn by his side, but now he wasn't answering his phone either. Somehow sleeping with Zayn had driven everyone Louis loved away. 

However Zayn wasn't the only thing by his side the last time. Louis handled his pain differently then…

He handled it the way Zayn had taught him to, the way he had shown him to. 

He lets the cigarette hang between his lips as he pulls out his phone and sends a text message. A response comes within seconds, and Louis jumps off the bench to head for his car.

\-------------

"I'm guessing like... six." 

"Nope, bigger."

"Seven? There's no way..."

"Bigger."

"You shut your mouth."

"Nine inches. Swear to god."

"Noooo!" Harry gasps. "Troye Sivan? How can his body support that?"

Kalel shrugs her shoulders. "I was surprised myself. It was as thicker than his wrists, I'm telling you."

Harry snuggles further into Athena's arms. "Why did you stop petting me?"

"Sorry." Athena strokes his hair. "You didn't seem sad anymore."

"I am." Harry insists. "I need pets." 

"He texted you again." Courtney is laying across the bed with her legs up against the wall. She's scrolling through Harry's phone. 

"What'd he say this time?" Harry asks.

"It says 'Please call me back, I don't want to do this.' Do what?"

"Dunno." Harry bites his lip. "I think I should call him."

Courtney laughs unapologetically. "Not a chance. He's not getting you back that easy."

"I miss him though." Harry whines. "I can't stop worrying about him."

"Harry he cheated on you, he knew exactly what he was doing. You need to give him time to feel shitty about it." Kalel insists.

"I don't want him to feel shitty though, I love him." Harry argues.

Athena massages his scalp with her fingertips. "You're getting really greasy Styles, want me to run you a bath?" 

"Yes please." Harry moans under her touch. "But not yet, what you're doing feels too good."

"Personally I think you should call him." Athena admits, continuing to run her fingers through his curls.

Courtney doesn’t skip a beat. "No you don't."

"I do though.” Athena presses. "It's not as simple as you're making it out to be. Sometimes you can love more than one person at a time. Zayn was in the picture long before you were Harry. Clearly he and Louis weren't meant to be or they'd have eloped already, but he still has a place in Louis' heart. I'm not saying what they did was ok, I just think you should hear him out."

"If Harry calls Louis he's going to forgive him instantly. He's too merciful. Louis needs to suffer longer." Courtney argues.

"He's suffering?" Harry starts to panic.

Courtney reaches behind her head and feels around until she finds Harry's leg. "Relax, it's ok." She pats him awkwardly.

"You're girlfriend is better at the loving touches." Harry ridicules.

"Fine but I'm right about Louis. He's a narcissistic cocksucker that doesn't deserve you. Your biggest insecurity was what? Oh right, it was Zayn. So what does Louis do? Fucks him at a pool party. He should be suffering." Courtney huffs.

"First of all 'cocksucker' isn't an insult for us, he sucks my cock beautifully thankyouverymuch. Second of all...ok you're right about the rest." Harry gives up. "Just pet me until I fall asleep, ok?"

Harry's phone starts ringing.

"Louis?" Harry asks hopefully.

"Nope, it's Liam." Courtney passes it over. "You'd better get it, bossman doesn’t like to be ignored.”

 

Harry accepts the call. ”Hello?"

"Harry, hey.” Liam sounds apprehensive. “How are you feeling?"

"I've been better.” Harry mutters.

"Right, I'm sorry about what happened.” Liam apologizes.

"Not your fault.”

"Will you be coming into work tomorrow?"

"Probably not.” Harry says curtly.

“Ok..."

Harry is silent. 

"Can I be blunt with you?” Liam continues without an answer. “Cause lately that seems to be the only thing getting through to people. I know Louis really well, better than I'd like to, and I can't even fathom the self loathing he's going through right now. I know you're pissed at him and yeah, he deserves that one hundred percent. He's an idiot. If it were anyone but Zayn, I'd suggest you end things for good, but this is different. I know it's hard for you to understand, and I'm not the one to explain it to you, but the dynamic between them is special, and Louis has no intentions of dating Zayn, not now, not ever. I'm not making much sense but just hear me out on one thing, Louis is going to destroy himself. That's not on you, but if you have any intentions of taking him back, I beg you to do it soon because I'm really afraid of what he might do."

\-----

Louis stands at the intersection, looking around at the hoards of people passing in all directions.

 _Where is he? This has got to be the stupidest place to meet._

He's about to give up and head home when he here's his name.

"Louis!"

"There you are, what took you so long?" Louis demands.

James grins at him like an idiot. "It's good to see you man! It's been so long!"

"What are you on about?" Louis crosses his arms. "I see you at the aquarium like every week."

"You know what I mean." James moves to the side to make way for a lady pushing a stroller.

Louis taps his foot. "I haven't needed any. Can we make this quick?"

"You look like you do now." James smirks. "And don't rush me man we gotta make this look natural."

"What did you bring." Louis asks impatiently.

"Just percs."

Louis pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket. "I want all you have."

"You're not trying to OD are you..." James eyes him carefully.

"Course not don't be stupid." Louis holds out the money. "Take this so I can get out of here."

James skillfully swaps the money for a baggie of pills. "You like that? How smooth I was? Nobody even saw that. Sleight of hand like a motherfucking magician!"

"It would be more impressive if you'd shut up about it." Louis turns to leave.

"Wait!" James calls after him. "Do you want me come over?"

Louis looks back just long enough to turn him down. "I want to be alone."

———————

Athena uses an entire Lush bubble bar to prepare Harry’s luxurious bath, so the bubbles are heaped up like snowy white mountains. Harry wiggles his toes, the only visible part of his body beneath the black current scented suds. The warm water isn’t enough to soothe the tension in his muscles; one too many nights spent without Louis has not done his body good. 

Being alone sucks. He contemplates calling the girls to come sit by the tub and keep him company, but worries his neediness is getting out of hand. Louis never minded his neediness. He would come sit by the tub. Actually no he wouldn’t, Louis would join him _in_ the tub. He’d be completely immersed by these abundant bubbles, the adorable little baby hedgehog that he is… his wet hair sticking out every which way. He’d probably say something sassy, maybe run his hands up Harry’s legs, take him in his hand, stroke him slowly… oh god.

Harry dries off one hand with a nearby towel then scoops his phone up from the floor. It’s time to get his man back.

———————

The room is aglow with the golden radiance of the setting sun. It pours in the window, onto the hardwood floor, engulfing Louis with warmth. 

Up on the wall the clock ticks by, as predictable as ever. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, on it goes. Nothing is out of the ordinary, except for the music playing.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere alone in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life._

What's bizarre is the way only the chorus repeats. Over and over and over. It’s not The Fray singing either, it’s Harry. Perhaps it's also strange that there's no music playing at all, it's just in Louis' head.

There is a faint buzzing noise, if only that would stop. So irritating. Buzz buzz buzz. Why doesn't it stop? 

Maybe because Louis can't hear it. He can't hear anything. He's unconscious on the bedroom floor.


	44. Chapter 44

 

Zayn is abruptly yanked from a deep slumber, by a loud crash in his living room. Someone has broken into his house and unless they have a gun, this isn't going to end well for them.

He creeps out of bed as quiet as he can, and steps out of his room. The end of the hall is partially illuminated by the streetlights shining in through the window, and he can see someone limping slowly towards him. He flexes his arms, stabilizing himself and getting ready to fight when…

"Fucking table... Son of a..."

"Niall?" Zayn flips on the light switch. 

Niall cowers slightly, holding his foot in his hands. "Hey..."

"Did you just break into my house?” Zayn demands.

"Technically no.” Niall hobbles on one leg “I have a key."

"Are you out of your mind? I was about to go all ‘eye of the tiger’ on your ass. What are you doing here?"

Niall steps tentatively onto his injured foot, wincing. ”I didn't think it through much. I just knew I needed to see you.”

"So you came over at...What time is it?” Zayn questions. 

“It’s like 10 PM sleeping beauty.” Niall informs him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Zayn stares at him intently. Niall looks startled, shaken, and breathtakingly gorgeous.

"I missed you.” Zayn blurts out. 

Niall is visibly relieved. ”I missed you too, so much, you have no idea. I'm so sorry for what I said to you."

Zayn folds his arms over his torso, suddenly conscious of the fact that he’s nearly naked. ”No it's my fault. I pushed you, you weren't ready but I was, and I let it take over. It's fine if you just want to be friends, I can learn to accept that. Might take me some time but…" This is not the scenario in which he pictured them having this conversation, yet here they are, standing in the hallway, having it.

“That’s not what I want, not even close.” Niall exclaims. “Zayn I should have been more honest with you, with myself as well. All this time I was afraid of one thing; disappointing my dad. Of being weak, girly, the things he hates. I called him earlier today and guess what? I told him! I told him that I have feelings for a guy, a muscular, tatted up guy. Wanna know what he said?” Niall is crying softly. 

“What?” Zayn asks breathily, his heart races.

“He said… he said he’s proud of me. For 27 years I’ve tried to steer my life onto whatever path would make him the happiest. I beat myself up for every decision I made but turns out, he would have been proud of me no matter what. The demon in my mind…it wasn’t real. I've spent the last few hours trying to sort out what's me and what I tried to be for other people, and the thing that stands out the most…the thing that shakes me to my core, that drives me, is that I want to be with you.”

"Oh my god…" Zayn feels like he’s falling.

Niall stands there awkwardly. ”Am I too late?"

"Of course not, come here.” Zayn opens his arms and Niall rushes in, cementing himself to Zayn’s chest like it’s all he needs to live. 

"What are the limits? What can I say…" Zayn pleads, gripping his hands into Niall’s hair.

Niall exhales a shaky breath. “No limits. Say anything and everything. I want to hear it all... Please..."

"I love you so fucking much.” Zayn gasps. “I want this... All of it. I want you forever."

"I want that too, I love you Zayn. I've loved you for ages.” Niall confesses.

"You realize I'm not gonna hold back now…” Zayn pulls back to look him in the eyes, smiling. “You've opened a flood gate of love and I'm going to drown you in it."

"I'll wear my water wings.” Niall grins back at him.

Zayn laughs. ”You're so damn cute. I love that I can tell you that instead of just thinking it."

"You told me that all the time silly.” Niall teases.

"Yeah I guess it slipped out. I thought it even more though.” Zayn leans back and holds Niall’s hands. "Come to bed?"

"Yes please.” Niall says shyly. 

They turn towards the bedroom but Zayn changes his mind. ”Wait, I want to do this first."

He pulls Niall in for an ardent kiss, finally discovering what it’s like to feel their tongues collide, moaning into each other’s mouths. They let themselves explore, unguarded, free. Their hands roam each other’s bodies. Niall feels up Zayn’s torso; the small tufts of hair on his stomach, his rippling abs, his tattooed chest. He’s still warm from sleep, and Niall can’t get enough, moving onto his muscular arms and shoulders.

"Zayn..." Niall pants, losing himself in lust. 

Zayn runs his thumb along Niall’s bottom lip and smiles. “Yes babe?”

“Don’t stop.”

——————

Zayn is lying in bed on top of Niall, lazily kissing him. “Have mentioned that I love you?”

Niall blushes. “A few dozen times.”

“Feels so damn good to say it.” Zayn kisses down his neck, unable to keep himself off of Niall for more than a second.

“Then please never stop.” Niall hisses as Zayn sucks on his skin. “Hey uh…”

Zayn continues to devour him. “Mmm?”

“Is this like… are we dating then?”

“Would you like us to be?” Zayn nips at Niall’s collarbone. 

Niall arches his back, writhing in pleasure under Zayn’s love bites. “I would, I’d like that a lot. You can call me your boyfriend and stuff, tell people. Tell everyone.”

“Ok boyfriend.” Zayn moves further down, lingering on Niall’s chest hair then kissing down towards his belly. He freezes when he feels something hard against his chest. “Oh, want me to stop?”

“No, it’s ok, that’s what happens.” Niall looks down at his tenting pants. “I’m sorry I was so stupid about it before.”

“Don’t call yourself stupid, you’re very smart.” Zayn corrects him.

Niall smiles wistfully. “I missed out on doing this for months, stupid stupid stupid.”

“We’ll just have to make up for lost time.” Zayn recommences his efforts to kiss every inch of Niall’s body.

_Jab tak is mohabbat ka phool na khilay_  
_Tab tak is dill ko sukoon na miley_  
_Dil day mujhe..._

“Is that your alarm?”

“No, someone’s calling, one sec.” Zayn rolls over and grabs his phone, muttering curses under his breath. “Who calls at this fucking hour…”

“It’s not even late you old man.” Niall rests his forearm against his head, trying to take in everything that had just happened.

The phone call is quite short. “Wha’ ya want?…Fuck, ok be there soon.” Zayn hangs up, jolted.

“That was Harry, we need to get to the hospital.”


	45. Chapter 45

“Louis! Oh my goodness baby, how I’ve missed you!”

“Is that really you? How is this even possible?”

“Shh just let me hold you.”

“Something’s not right.”

“Of course it’s right darling, we’re together again and that’s all that matters.”

“No, something is very wrong. Mom, you’re dead.”

“Yes sweetie.”

“Then how…”

“You’re dead too.”

“I can’t be, no don’t say that. I’m not.”

“Then wake up.”

“How do I….”

“Wake up Louis. Wake up.”

“Mom, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me…”

 

“Wake up Louis! Wake up!” Louis can feel hands on his chest. There are bright lights shining on his face. It goes black again. 

———————

“You can’t all be here, only one visitor at a time.”

“I’m a nurse, I can stay.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Fuck you.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing…”

“I’m a lab tech, I can stay.”

“That’s _really_ not how it works.”

“Ma’am, I’m a pathologist.”

“And as much as I respect that sir, my patient needs to rest.”

“I’m his boyfriend.”

“Fine you can stay, everyone else out.”

Louis opens his eyes, he can see people, lots of people, and _holy shit_ he is in so much pain.

“Wait he’s waking up!” Harry rushes to his side. “Lou? Can you hear me?”

“It hurts, oh my god, my chest, I can’t breathe.” Louis gasps. His voice is hoarse and raspy. 

“Try and relax.” The nurse instructs, adjusting the oxygen tube in Louis’ nose. “I’ll go get the respiratory tech to check your O2 stats.” She fiddles with his IV. “The pain should go down soon.”

“What happened?” Louis looks at the faces of his friends, all filled with concern.

Harry wipes Louis’ sweaty bangs from his forehead. “Shh love, don’t stress out. You don’t need to hear this right now.”

“Please tell me.” Louis looks up at him pleadingly. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

Harry sits down onto the edge of the bed. “Well, the paramedics couldn’t find a pulse, and you were’t breathing. They started CPR, put an OPA in your mouth and started bagging you, then they put pads on your chest and shocked you. Your rhythm was v-fib, and after the first shock nothing happened so they continued CPR. On the second shock they found a pulse but you were still unconscious. They got you onto a stretcher and brought you here. They would’t let me ride with you in the ambulance so I followed in my car. They told the nurse that they got a ROSC, not sure what that means…” 

“Return of spontaneous circulation.” Zayn chimes in.

“Right. Then you were out of it for a while but they said you were stable. They flushed your system with naloxone for whatever drugs you took.” Harry finishes.

“Are you still in a lot of pain?” Liam asks.

Harry looks down at Louis’ chest. “I think they broke some ribs doing the CPR.”

“Yes I’m in pain but it’s fine, you were there for all of that Haz?” Louis questions.

“I was.” Harry frowns, forlorn.

“You boys really do need to leave now.” The nurse returns and starts shooing everyone out. “Except for you, you can stay if you like.” She adds to Harry.

Liam, Niall and Zayn say their goodbyes then leave. Louis is happy to see Zayn and Niall holding hands, apparently they worked things out.

Once they’re alone, Harry doesn’t waste anytime before emotionally exploding all over Louis.

“Fucking hell, how could you put me through that!?”

Louis gets a proper look at him. “Why are you wet, did I throw up on you…you smell nice, like fruits.”

“You’re such an asshole, what were you thinking? Why would you do this?” Harry demands.

“It was an accident.” Louis insists, his throat hoarse. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

“You swear?” Harry appears to be seconds away from tears.

“Yes I swear. I’d never leave you like that.” Louis coughs and spits out some mucous. “Not the magical reunion I’d imagined.”

Harry rolls his eyes at Louis’ refusal to take this seriously. “What happened? What did you take? Why?”

“I took a few Percocets… I was just so sad, I’m really sorry Harry. For this, for a million things. I know that it was a terrible way to handle myself, I shouldn’t have done it. I didn’t expect to end up here.”

“I’m sorry too.” Harry says quietly, 

“No please don’t do that, every single bit of this is my fault. I let you down repeatedly, I did all of this.” Louis weakly lifts his hand and places it on Harry’s. “Wait, how did you know? Did I text you for help?”

Harry shakes his head. “No, I tried calling but there was no answer, and Liam got it stuck in my head that you were going to try something… I just had a feeling something was wrong, so I called an ambulance.”

“That was lucky.”

“You think?” Harry loses it again, his puffy pink eyes indicate he has spent a lot of the night crying. “What if I hadn’t? You were literally so close to…”

“But I didn’t.” Louis squeezes his hand. “Please don’t cry love, I’m fine, see?”

“I almost lost you.” Harry’s lip quivers.

Louis smiles to comfort him. “You didn’t though, I’m a fighter. I’m gonna live forever.” 

“You’re so calm about this.” Harry says in disbelief. 

“I’ve been through it before. Well on the other end of it.” Louis gets lost in thought for a moment.

“…Zayn?” Harry guesses.

Louis nods.

“We can talk about him.” Harry points out. “He’s not taboo.”

“He and I have a bit of a past with prescription drugs, that’s all.” Louis admits. “They’ll probably make me see a counsellor again.”

“I think that’s a good thing, don’t you? Harry bites his lip.

“It was just this one time, I’m not addicted.” Louis explains. “Jeez, one day back in the game and I overdo it, such a rookie.”

Harry glares at him.

“Sorry I’ll stop making jokes. I’m just so overwhelmed, you’re here and there are so many things I want to tell you, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“It will probably be a bunch of rambly apologies so why don’t you let me talk instead.” Harry suggests. 

Louis clamps his lips shuts and nods for Harry to continue.

Harry takes a breath before he begins. “I just think we jumped into this relationship too fast and hard, because we loved each other so damn much. Anyone could see it was rushed, moving in, committing, but we couldn’t help ourselves. I think we forgot to make sure we were ready. Dealing with so many issues at once put a strain on our relationship, between Dan and Zayn… I’m surprised we didn’t fall apart sooner.”

Louis winces, not liking where this seems to be going.

“Don’t look so sad I’m getting to the good part. Despite the obvious bumps in the road, we’ve got something really amazing and we overcame a lot to get where we are, and I don’t want to throw it all away. Not only that but I can’t imagine life without you. It’s been what, 48 hours? I was already losing it. I still love you Louis. I’m not over what happened but I know we can work past it together because that’s what we do.”

“Oh thank god.” Louis closes his eyes in relief. “You are everything to me, I love you so much Harry. I don’t deserve you but I’m going to be selfish because I want you anyway. I’m going to make this up to you, all of it. You’ll see.

Harry leans down and places a kiss on Louis’ lips. Yeah, he’s kind of gross from the last few hours but Harry doesn’t care at this point. “This has been the scariest night of my life. Please never do this to me again.”

“I won’t.” Louis promises.

“Fuck, I love you. I hate you but I love you. Never leave my side, I hate taking baths alone.” Harry smiles at the love of his life.

“Gladly.”


	46. Chapter 46

Harry waits on a bench outside of the hospital, passing time while the nurses tend to Louis before he can visit again. Louis was recovering well but the hospital insisted on keeping him on psychiatric hold for another 48 hours. Despite claims that it was an accident, they were still suspicious of it being a possible suicide attempt. 

He stares out into the garden, so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice when someone sits down beside him. “You’re on my bench.”

“Your bench?” Harry turns and… _oh, this is fucking perfect._

“Yes.” Zayn lights up a cigarette. “I sit here every day on my breaks.”

“Well I didn’t know that, did I?” Harry snaps.

"You probably think I'm an asshole for what I did to you.” Zayn says, unfazed.

Harry turns his gaze back to the rose bushes he’d been visually assaulting. "Accurate."

"I don't blame you. It was selfish of me." Zayn continues smoking.

Harry sighs, then steals a cigarette out of the pack and holds it against the one in Zayn's lips, lighting it. He’d always struggled at holding grudges. This would prove to be no exception.

"You smoke now?” Zayn asks, bewildered. 

"No. Sometimes. Louis doesn't know." Harry closes his eyes as he inhales.

Zayn’s eyes widen. ”Why keep it from him?” 

"He always thought I was perfect, I didn't know how to tell him he was wrong.” Harry discloses.

"Nobody's perfect.” Zayn recites the cliche. 

Harry taps his ash off the side of the bench. "I used to think he was.”

"So did I.” Zayn says softly.

“Can I ask you, like what’s your side of all this? Right now you seem like the villain in my Disney movie but you’re also a good guy. Louis wouldn’t love you if you weren’t.”

“How much do you want to know?” Zayn asks.

Harry shrugs. “Start at the beginning. I’ve got time.” 

“Ok… well for seven years I loved him. Thought about him when I woke up, and before I fell asleep. He got me through my parent's divorce, my grandparent's deaths, our addictions... but he caused a lot of pain too."

Zayn pauses to think and smoke before proceeding. 

"The first time he kissed me, it felt so real, I knew I loved him and I felt it back. I thought it was going to be like that forever, Louis and I. That could have been it for me. I remember coming home one day and finding him in my bed, kissing Stan Lucas, this twat from school. Right in _my_ fucking bed, like it was nothing. I was gutted, heartbroken. I stood in the doorway and they didn't even stop, as if I was invisible or something. I swore I would never love another guy because it was way too painful. I even got engaged to a girl named Perrie. She was really sweet and kind and wonderful... she should have made me happy but she didn't because _Louis_ was still around, and he was single again, and I knew I could have him if I wanted to. Not all of him, but a piece. That piece was more than anything Perrie could ever give me. I called off the wedding and Louis and I fell into a pattern of partying, doing drugs and having sex... I'm sorry you probably don't want to hear this."

"I do. Continue."

"He just got me, in a way nobody else did. I knew it was make believe, he wasn't my boyfriend, but sometimes it was close enough. On the nights we were together I was sure it could be enough. And then…" Zayn trails off.

“What?" Harry urges. 

"Then you came into the picture, and it was like I never mattered. I was back to being nothing to him. It was like a breakup but worse cause it had all been in my head." Zayn says with vacant eyes.

"Shit I...I'm so sorry.” For the first time Harry actually feels sympathy for Zayn. He can’t imagine what it would be like to lose Louis that way. 

"Don't be, it's not your fault. It's not really his either, I never told him how I felt. I pretended everything was fine even when it nearly killed me. Honestly I’m glad I didn’t because Louis will do anything for the people he loves. That's why he slept with me that night. He couldn't say no to me, just like I could never say no to him. He knew I needed it.” Zayn turns to look at Harry. "I promise to never do that to you again. Not that he'd even consider it after how badly this hurt him. He loves you Harry, so much. I don't blame you for having reservations because getting cheated on sucks, but the fact is he only wants to be with you. I really hope you two get past this because I'd hate myself forever it I ruined his shot at true happiness.”

"You know you come across as a tough guy, kind of a jerk, but you're actually such a softie." Harry pokes him playfully. 

“Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold.” Zayn goes back to his quiet, emotionless persona.

“I gotta ask, how are things with you and Niall.” Harry watches Zayn’s eyes sparkle at the mention of his name.

“Incredible.” Zayn can’t help but smile. “I’m really happy. Like genuinely, completely happy.”

“Are you seeing him tonight?” Harry loves how “matey” he and Zayn are being.

“Yeah I’m heading to his place after my double shift.” Zayn has been looking forward to it all damn day.


	47. Chapter 47

When Zayn arrives at Niall’s, he gives his boyfriend a tender kiss then heads right for the shower. When he’s finished washing away the grossness of the day, Niall is nowhere to be found. There is however, a note on the counter:

The yard is filled with fireflies, flashing their tiny yellow lights at various times to create a dazzling show. Anticipation and desire mix in Zayn’s bloodstream as he looks up at the tree house.

The rope ladder seems taller than ever, stretching so high up into the darkness that Zayn can’t see where it ends. It’s intimidating but he knows he can climb it because Niall is waiting at the top. He takes a deep breath, then begins ascending. The higher he gets, the more lightheaded he becomes, and he’s not sure how close he is but he can’t look up or down. It comes as a surprise when he feels a warm hand circling his wrist, pulling him in.

“Glad you could make it.” Niall smiles nervously.

“Wow you went all out, this is wicked!” The walls are draped in fabric, illuminated by strings of battery operated fairy lights. The ground is covered in pillows and blankets, seemingly every soft thing that Niall owns, and what Zayn recognizes to be his own duvet. This must have taken Niall at least 30 trips up the ladder with his arms full.

“Are you afraid?” Niall guides Zayn to the pile of cushions.

“Of heights, not at the moment.” Zayn has briefly forgotten how high up they are.

“Good.” Niall surprises him with a quick kiss on the lips.

Zayn has goosebumps already. “Are we sleeping up here?”

“If you’d like. I had another idea though…” Niall says suggestively.

“Oh.”

“I mean if you want to…” Niall loses confidence.

“God yes, are you ready though?” Zayn rubs Niall’s shoulders. “We don’t need to rush into this, we have lots of time to get there.”

“I’ve been wanting this for a while now.” Niall verifies. “Thought about it a lot, in the shower…”   
“Yeah?” Zayn feels lightheaded again but for a different reason.

“Sometimes I’d lose control and say your name. I know you heard me.” Niall pulls Zayn closer so their middles touch.

“I did…It drove me insane.” Zayn stares at Niall’s lips. “I didn’t want it to be pretend anymore, I wanted to actually be the one to get you there, to make you say my name.” He decides to be bold, and undoes Niall’s pants, pulling them to the floor. He crouches down so his face is aligned with Niall’s groin.

“I know there’s like…two roles here. I’m ok with either one.” Niall’s breathing becomes uneasy, having Zayn’s face by his crotch.

“Ok, yeah.” Zayn kisses Niall through the fabric of his briefs. This is _exhilarating_ , feeling his warmth, finally getting to do this.

“What one do you usually…“ Niall stifles a moan. “Is this awkward to talk about?”

“No s’fine, this is the stuff couples talk about babe.” Zayn runs his teeth lightly along Niall’s growing bulge. “I usually top, but if you’re not comfortable with that, I’ll let you do me.”

“I don’t know what I want.” Niall is clearly overwhelmed so Zayn decides to take the lead.

“Why don’t we try this.” Zayn stops and leans back onto his bum, patting the makeshift bed beside him. Niall lowers down and Zayn guides him onto his side, then lies beside him so they’re spooning. “Just like when we cuddle in my bed. Is this ok?”

“Very ok.” Niall wiggles his bum back seductively. 

“You do that in your sleep you know, grind up against me. It made our platonic friendship quite a challenge sometimes.” Zayn can feel himself hardening already. He slips out of his pants and underwear to take the strain off.

Niall moves his hips back with more purpose. “I wasn’t sleeping, and we weren’t platonic. I was just in denial. Heh, de-Niall.”

Zayn yanks down Niall’s briefs and presses his erection against his bare cheeks. “Still funny?”

“Oh-” Niall’s breath hitches.

“Are you sure you want this?” Zayn rubs his shaft along Niall’s crack.

“I’m sure.” 

They can’t just dive into this though, as much as Zayn would love to be buried balls deep in Niall’s perfect ass right now… they’re skipping too many steps. So he rolls onto his back. “Give me your hand babe.” 

Niall turns around confused. “Huh?”

Zayn takes Niall’s hand, pulling it towards himself. He guides it onto his cock. “Here.” He doesn’t know what else to say. ‘Jerk me off a bit’ seems too crude for the precious moment they’re sharing.

“Oh you’re…” Niall examines Zayn.

“What?” Zayn panics a little.

Niall swallows. “Circumcised.”

If Zayn had forgotten how inexperienced Niall was, this was a big reminder. 

“Yeah…just treat it the same as you would yours.” Zayn instructs gently.

Niall skims the slit with his thumb as he strokes him up and down. Something about knowing that this is how Niall touches himself makes it even hotter.

He keeps running his hand up and down the length until a throaty moan escapes Zayn’s lips. “That feels amazing babe.”

“I like it…” Niall licks his lips. “The way you look and feel…it’s nice, better than I pictured.”

“Thank you.” Zayn utters dazedly. 

“I want to…” Niall shuffles around, and suddenly his lips are on the head of Zayn’s cock.

Zayn gasps. “You, you sure?” His voice is squeaky and broken.

Niall opens his mouth as wide as he can and guides Zayn along his tongue.

“Fuck, oh god, feels so fucking good.” Zayn cannot believe this is happening, it is way too good to be true.

Niall bobs up and down, experimentally licking and sucking in different places as Zayn provides constant affirmation. After a short while Zayn pulls himself out of his mouth, and Niall looks up at him for answers.

“You ok?” Zayn tries to remain delicate, Niall is his baby and he needs to take care of him. “That was a pretty major step we just took.”

“I love that you’re trying to be sweet with me right now while you’re cock is throbbing.” Niall muses.

“M’ tryin babe.” Zayn chuckles, repositioning them back onto their sides so they’re spooning again.

“I’m ready, I want you to take me now.” Niall decides. 

Zayn has a moment of trepidation; Niall is inexperienced and therefore… “Did you happen to bring lube? Or condoms?” Zayn is afraid to hear the answer.

“Yeah, get em right here.” Niall moves aside on of the pillows and _oh thank god._

Zayn coats his fingers with the lube. “Have you done this to yourself before?”

Niall tries to stay relaxed. “I tried it recently, figured I should be prepared. Didn’t get very far though it was scary.”

“Is this scary?” Zayn kisses Niall’s shoulder as he spreads him.

“N-no.” Niall bites his knuckle.

He does _not_ seem ready for this. “Niall, look at me please babe.” Zayn waits until Niall is fully turned around. “I want this so badly, but if it’s not what you want we aren’t going to do it. Just tell me what you’re thinking.” Zayn uses his dry hand to cup Niall’s face.

“I keep telling you that I do want it.” Niall instinctively pushes into Zayn’s hand.

“But your body language says differently. We can just do the other stuff, save this for another time.” Zayn offers.

Niall looks at him for a moment. “Wait, are _you_ afraid?”

“Kind of.” Zayn admits

“Why? You’ve done this.” Niall doesn’t understand.

“Not with you though.” Zayn looks into his blue eyes. “This means everything to me, I want it to be perfect for you.”

“It will be, I hung fairy lights and we’re in a tree house; this is magical.” Niall smiles.

“This is true.” Zayn considers his point, Niall did put time into planning this.

“I love you Zayn. I’m not going to freak out again, or doubt myself, I’m in this now. I’m ready to take this step with you.” Niall promises.   


“Ok.” Zayn kisses him slow and meaningful, then turns him back around. He applies more lube to his fingers and spreads him again, this time pressing his finger in slowly.

Niall makes a plethora of breathy noises as Zayn proceeds to prep him. He takes his time, kissing every part of Niall he can reach, reminding him of how beautiful he is. Once three digits can glide in and out without restriction and Niall is moaning into his pillow, Zayn pulls his fingers out and slips on a condom.

“I’m gonna make love to you now Niall.” He whispers. “Don’t worry, I’ll go slow.”

“Yes…please…” Niall slides his bum back further.

Zayn enters him as gentle as possible. The feelings are overwhelming; the sensation on his dick and the warmth in his heart. 

“I love you, this means the world to me that you trust me enough to do this.” Zayn utters into Niall’s ear. He reaches around and starts stroking him, wanting this to feel as good as possible.

Niall can barely get a word out. “Fuck…you’re so…Love you…” He pants.

Zayn resists the urge to quicken his thrusts, keeping it slow and steady. Niall must have figured out that he can clench himself around him, because it gets even tighter.

 _God_ this is good. Their bodies are pressed tightly together, the way they’ve been sleeping for some time, but they’re even closer now because Zayn is _inside_ of Niall.

Their breathing synchronizes, laboured breaths in and out as Zayn rocks his hips, moving his hand simultaneously. He can feel the tip become wet with precum, and it comes as a relief; Zayn wants to keep doing this all night long, but Niall is incredibly tight, even after prep, and it feels way too intense.

He spits on his hand then strokes Niall faster, wanting him to finish first. A few pumps of his hand later, he finally gets to put a visual to what he’d been hearing through the bathroom walls. 

“Zayn! Ohhhh!” Niall spurts out white ribbons all over the duvet, shaking and clenching even harder. Zayn lets himself thrust a little faster and his orgasm hits too. He wraps his arms around Niall, keeping him close as he fills the condom.

They lay there for a while, still connected, until Zayn fully softens and slips out. He tosses the condom aside then wraps a blanket around them both. “Babe?”

Niall lazily rolls over so they’re face to face. “Yes love?”

Zayn caresses his flushed cheeks. “How are you?”

“Wonderful.” Niall seems blissed. 

“So that was ok then?” Zayn confirms.

“It was perfect.”

“You can top next time if you want, see what you like better.” Zayn offers.

Niall looks at him pointedly. “You’d be ok with that?”

“Course.” Zayn smiles at him. “It’s all part if being in a relationship. I’m sure I’ll enjoy anything as long as it’s with you.”

“I can’t picture doing it.” Niall confesses. “You’re too, I don’t know. You’ve always been like in charge of every situation.”

“Even more reason for you to fuck me.” Zayn winks. 

Niall’s face lights up in surprise and Zayn is glad to see him smiling.

“I think we should sleep here.” Niall announces.

“What if I roll out?” Zayn shudders at the idea of falling in his sleep.

“You won’t because I…” Niall shuffles forward and awkwardly pulls on Zayn’s arm until he gets the hint and rolls over. “…Will hold you all night.”

Zayn snuggles further into his embrace. He’s never been the little spoon before. This has been a night of many firsts, but this one is his favourite.


	48. Chapter 48

The next few days drag on for Louis. He's finally released from the hospital, but his broken ribs cause him a lot of pain so he mainly lounges on the couch and plays video games all day, getting up to walk around every hour. To prevent his lungs from collapsing or becoming infected, he does slow deep breathing exercises every two hours. Three times a day he wraps an ice pack in a tea towel and applies it to his ribs for twenty minutes to reduce the swelling. The pain is constant, nothing is comfortable, he is incredibly dependent on Harry, and overall he feels like an idiot for taking the drugs in the first place.

Liam insists that Louis take some time off, so he hires a locum PA to work alongside Harry. Being alone cooped up in the house all day is incredibly boring, making the moment Harry returns from work rather ceremonious. 

"How was work baby cakes?" Louis peels himself up off the couch to greet Harry at the door. 

"Good, the temp showed me a new way to store specimens, it's a real time saver." Harry hugs him gently.

"I liked the way we did it." Louis whines. "Remember how I'd massage your shoulders while you scanned everything? Or the way I'd serenade you in song while you sorted through the batches?"

Harry leads him back to the couch and helps him sit down with his back against the armrest. "We can do it your way when you come back then love." 

"S'right we will." Louis huffs.

"How's the pain today?" Harry lifts Louis' legs then sits beneath them.

"Not great but bearable, the temp will be out of there by the end of the week. I'm gonna call Liam tomorrow and tell him I'll be returning to work whether he likes it or not." Louis announces.

"You know, I've really enjoyed taking care of you." Harry admits. "Makes me feel like I'm the strong one in the relationship for once."

"I think my lack of self control has proven I'm not the strong one." Louis realizes that didn't sound great... "I didn't mean it like that." Harry stares at him sadly, making Louis' heart sink. "Should we talk about it?"

Harry closes his eyes like he's trying to gather strength, then sighs. "It's in the past now. I know why you did it, I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Just to be clear are we referring to the drugs?" Louis verifies.

"No." Harry says somberly, looking down.

Louis rubs his foot against Harry's leg to get his attention. "Haz, I don't want this to be something that defines us, maybe we need to-"

"Trust me, there's nothing else that needs to be said. I had a chat with Zayn the other day and he explained everything to me; the way you guys were for years, what it felt like for him when you and I met, the whole thing. There's going to be a small part of me that isn't over it for a while, but it will heal with time. Just like you." Harry points to Louis' rib cage.

"I'm sorry. I know I've been saying it excessively but I feel like I owe you one million apologies." Louis isn't sure if he will ever stop feeling guilty for what happened. 

"And each time I tell you I forgive you." Harry reminds him, his face softening. "Have you showered today?"

"What do you think?" Louis has not.

"I think you smell quite manly." Harry bits his lip seductively. "So it's been what, three days then?"

Louis feels a bit repellent all of a sudden. "Alright, I can take a hint. You'll have to join me though, wash me too."

Harry takes one of Louis' feet into his hands. "That can definitely be arranged." He begins massaging it, his large hands making Louis' foot look as if it belongs to a tiny porcelain doll.

"My feet probably smell." Louis casually mentions, closing his eyes and giving in to the feeling.

"They always smell." Harry confirms.

This snaps Louis out of his bliss quite quickly. "What? Really?"

"Yeah." Harry chuckles. "You wear those canvas shoes all the time, with no socks to top it off."

"Don't touch them then!" Louis tries to pull his foot away but Harry tightens his grip.

"It's fine babe I'm used to it." Harry kisses Louis' foot. 

Louis grimaces. "Once I'm healed I'll be your Prince Charming again. I'm gonna _charm_ your damn face off."

"Already do babe." Harry pecks each of his toes. "I love you so much. Even your smelly feet."

Louis decides to shut up and let his adorably perfect boyfriend do his thing. Harry massages his feet for a while, squeezing the heels and pressing into the arches. Eventually his hands make their way up to Louis' calves, eliciting more pleasure. Louis hums softly as Harry moves onto his curvy thighs; kneading the muscles. His hands don't stop there, they travel even higher until Harry's pinkie finger grazes along Louis'-

"Stop stop!" Louis gasps. "I haven't been able to get any relief, all these boners are becoming painful as fuck."

"I can help you out... Is that safe for us to do?" Harry's pupils are blown with lust. They haven't done anything sexual since their escapade in Liam's office, which feels like it was ages ago. 

Considering he was instructed not to even prepare his own meals, Louis is fairly sure this is not a good idea. However, his aching erection has it's own agenda. "They said no sex but they didn't mention other stuff, it's probably fine." He lies.

"I'll go slow then. Tell me if it starts to hurt." Harry tucks Louis' pj's down under his balls, then begins stroking him slowly. It's _so_ intense. His sensitivity has increased tenfold, considering he hasn't gone this long without release since he was a teenager.

"I can't reciprocate any of this." Louis reminds him, already panting.

"Don't need you to." Harry is looking down at Louis' lap like it's calling to him. He releases his grip then fumbles around, careful not to move Louis's body abruptly, until he's kneeling beside the couch.

"No babe, I haven't showered in days remember? I'm dirty." Louis says, concerned.

Harry licks his lips. "Doesn't matter, I want it." He leans down and gives Louis one tentative lick to assess the taste, then takes the entire length into his mouth, moaning around it.

"Is it...Ohhhh" Louis' insecurity is washed away by the tingly pleasure coursing through his body, building in his stomach like an angry swarm. "Is it ok?"

Harry pulls his lips off to speak. "Better than ok. Best you've ever tasted."

"Hazza..." Louis whimpers as he's engulfed in the wet warmth once more. 

Harry moans louder. The deepness of his sounds vibrate Louis' cock, sending him into a burst of ecstasy mixed with pain. He comes harder than ever; his excessive load pooling into Harry's eager mouth. It is undoubtedly worth it.

White fluid drips down the corner of Harry's mouth as he swallows. He looks downright depraved; licking it off his face and groaning at the taste. You'd think he'd just tasted an exquisite dessert. 

Louis waits for the pain in his ribs to die down before he speaks. "Well that was a bit embarrassing... I haven't finished that quickly in ages."

"That was really hot, like mind blowing." Harry's breathing is shaky.

"Seriously? Why?" Louis can't fathom wanting do suck someone's dirty dick.

"Normally you just taste like, I don't know, skin? Sometimes a little like your body wash... but now I can really taste _you_. It's so fucking hot babe."

"You're weird..." Louis muses. "And hard."

"Course I am." Harry palms himself over his pants.

Louis watches him longingly. "I wish I could help you out."

"How about that shower?" Harry stands up and offers out his hand. "I recall how pretty you look covered in my seed."

"Y-yeah, please." Louis lets Harry pull him up. "You get so horny when you're not well fucked. So _desperate_ for me."

 

\---------------------

 

The evening is lovely and reminiscent of the all ones they'd spent together before the incident. With a glow upon their faces, they are completely, carelessly in love. After defiling his boyfriend's body in the shower, Harry makes pizza. Ok fine, he _orders_ pizza. But it's romantic all the same and they're both so happily domestic.

Now Louis is propped up in bed, supported by pillows, with Harry's head is nestled on his lap. Harry absentmindedly plays with the smiley face tattoo on his lover's thigh.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Harry asks, sensing Louis' pensiveness.

"The future." Louis smiles.

Harry lays a series of kisses onto Louis' thigh. "Am I in it?"

"You _are_ it." Louis says truthfully. "I was thinking that I'd love for us to take some time off, travel together. Go to Australia like we've dreamed about."

"Sounds perfect. Then what?"

"Then buy a house, something impressive with a proper backyard where our kids can run around and play. Hopefully they'll be into soccer like I am, and we can get a regulation size net." Louis starts to get excited. "We'll need an even number for teams so probably two kids. Maybe four. When the sun sets we'll head inside and tuck them into bed, then you and I will get some much needed alone time. I'll run us a bath and you'll put your hair up in a bun because by then it will be crazy long."

"I may cut it by then." Harry interjects, smiling wildly.

Louis runs his fingers through Harry's curls. "You'll still be beautiful as ever. You'll be my beautiful _husband._ " His leg suddenly feels wet and he doesn't need to look down to know that Harry is tearing up, the emotional guy he is.

"I-I want four kids." Harry decides. "Or maybe six."

"Better make it twenty." Louis quips. "Honestly though It's probably weird to be talking about this. One of us needs to get all commitment-phobic and start backpedaling."

"I like talking about this stuff. Can't wait to spend forever with you babe." Harry gushes.

"Even as young as you are?" Louis starts doing mental calculations. They should wait until Harry's at least 25 to have kids. At which point Louis will be...31. _Huh._ "Does it ever bother you that I'm a bit older than you are?"

"No, I rarely think about it. Apart from when we're doing stuff and you're _daddy_. I like it then." Harry over-enunciates 'daddy', smirking as Louis' dick twitches in response. 

Louis forces himself to ignore his arousal, his ribs cannot handle another orgasm. "I just don't want to rush you into settling down is all, but at the same time I don't want to wait too long and be old and unable to play with our kids..." 

"Are we going to adopt?" Harry chimes in.

"Well as I've told you babe, you can't get pregnant..." Louis smiles down at the younger boy, who has inched his way closer and is now practically curled up in Louis' lap.

Harry snickers. "Yeah but what if we got a surrogate?"

"I never considered that... I'll have to look into it." Louis ponders the idea. "Who's, you know, _DNA_ would we use though? Probably yours cause you've got the height and the curls and you're so pretty..."

"We could each... have one." Harry offers, feeling the weight of their conversation begin to settle in.

Louis shakes his head. "Yeah this is too intense. Talk about something else please."

Harry doesn't miss a beat. "Your dirty dick tasted like stardust and unicorn tears. You should never clean it again."


	49. Chapter 49

 

"You have a little sauce..." Zayn points to his own mouth.

"Where, here?" Niall seems to wipe every part of his face except for the tomato stain on the corner of his lips. 

_God he's cute._

"Here." Zayn reaches out his napkin and gently brushes it off, smiling fondly. "See, linen napkins make everything more romantic."

Niall blushes. "It's weird, being here with you like this. After all we've done this shouldn't feel weird but it does. It's really good though, don't get me wrong."

"We can get our food to go if you want." Zayn takes hold of Niall's cold hand in his warm one, monitoring his reaction. To his pleasant surprise, it seems to have a calming effect.

"I want to stay." Niall assures him. "You look really good tonight, I love how long your hair is getting. I don't compliment you as often as I should honestly."

"You look good too babe." Zayn runs his thumb over the back of Niall's hand. In a way, this was like a first date, as it was their first time going out as an actual couple. Thankfully it was going smoothly so far.

"I'm definitely under-dressed for this restaurant. Why didn't you say something before we left the house?" Niall refers to his nordic sweater.

Zayn eyes him up and down, taking a mental picture because he wants to remember this night forever. "Didn't want you to change, you look adorable." 

"Well you look... hot and sexy." Niall stammers.

Zayn holds back a laugh, his boyfriend is clearly so out of his element. "Thanks love. Anything in particular you want to do after this?"

"Would I be a bad date if I just wanted to go home and get you out of those fancy clothes?" Niall takes a big bite of his pasta.

At that, Zayn almost chokes on his wine. "Wow uh, actually I think that makes you the perfect date." 

"But not yet." Niall turns his hand so he's holding Zayn's properly. "I like being here with you."

They finish their pasta, salad, and bread, then order tiramisu for dessert. Niall has never tried it before, but he falls in love and eats well over his half. Zayn doesn't mind of course, as all he wants is to make his man happy. As they wait for the cheque, Zayn scoots into the opposite booth so he can put his arm around Niall and bury his face into his neck. It's sickeningly sweet, but neither of them cares because they crave the closeness. 

"I was worried you know." Niall says quietly. "That after the chase was gone, you wouldn't want me anymore."

Zayn takes one last inhale of Niall's scent before pulling away to look him in the eye. "I'm in this for the long haul babe, I'll want you tomorrow, I'll want you ten years from now, and I'll want you when you're old and wrinkled. You never need to worry again, because I will want you forever."

\-------------------------------

Zayn barely makes it through his front door before he's ripping Niall's clothes off. "I need you so badly." He moans. Sweater, suit jacket, and shirt lay discarded on the floor as they kiss.

They hover in the living room for far longer than necessary, unable to get further into the house because of their desperation for each other's touch. 

Zayn leads him to the bathroom and pulls him into a hot shower. Water trickles down their faces, intermingling with their lips as they kiss. It's steamy, dripping, and wanton. Their hands show no boundaries, especially Zayn's who's fingers scale down Niall's curvy bum and begin teasing his hole. He re-positions their bodies so the shower streams down Niall's back, cascading along the the spot where Zayn is playing with his hole. 

It's all breathy moans, slippery wet kisses and exploratory touches, except for the occasional giggle from Niall which breaks through their carnality, reminding Zayn of the innocence of his lover. How new this all still was for him. How he was wrecking him.

However; an offer was previously made, and it was time to make good on it. So when they finally make it to the bed, foreign words escape Zayn's lips. 

"Wanna fuck me babe?" 

"Yeah I do, so bad." Niall tends to his own hardness, lightly stroking himself as he leans back against the pillows. He looks apprehensive, obviously lacking confidence in how to initiate things. Perhaps Zayn takes advantage of this.

"Can I do something first? Something I've been dying to do." Zayn doesn't wait for an answer, crawling in between Niall's legs and substituting his hand. His touch is well received, triggering a frantic nod from the blonde as he submits.

Zayn admires his boyfriends uncut cock for a moment then wraps his lips around the head and eases down over the shaft. Fuelled by the noises of pleasure Niall is making, he increases his speed, circling his tongue around the sensitive top each time he pulls up. Then he performs a trick he'd used on Louis many times. He pulls the foreskin back over the tip and dips his tongue between the head and the skin, then swirls his tongue around. 

"Shit! Fuck!" Niall sputters out curses. "That's amazing, keep doing that please..."

Feeling smug, Zayn sucks on the sensitive skin then repeats the trick again and again, making Niall cry out his name. He kisses down the length and mouths at his balls for a bit, licking and sucking, savouring every inch.

Saliva drips down and collects around Niall's opening, creating the most inciting display Zayn has ever seen. He knows he shouldn't. He's already agreed to bottom tonight. But his self restraint is long gone and _perhaps_ he's been planning this moment since he'd massaged Niall's asshole in the shower. Whoops.

And honestly, _Fuck it._ He wants this. Zayn runs his tongue down Niall's balls once more then sneakily makes his way down, until he finally reaches his sweet spot. He doesn't exactly ease into it either; driving his tongue hard and fast, making Niall draw a sharp breath.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"D'you like it?" Zayn laps around the rim.

Niall squirms around on the bed. "I don't know, do _you_?"

"Yes, very much." And what an understatement that is.

"Doesn't it taste bad?" Niall watches as Zayn licks him fervently. 

Zayn moans. "Tastes amazing."

"Your tongue is... it's in my bum." Niall points out the obvious.

Zayn laughs lightly against his skin. "Mmhmm." He dips inside again and starts tongue fucking him.

"Oh god... Oh fuck...Zayn, Ohhh." Niall is becoming quite pliant.

"Fuck, you are so perfect." Zayn revels in the taste of his Niall's intimacy. Words cannot describe how badly he longs to be inside of the tight body that's writhing in pleasure on the bed before him. Almost bad enough to turn this whole thing around and fuck him senseless... Almost. Despite feeling desperate, there will be plenty of opportunities to top his boyfriend, and he owes him this opportunity. 

Zayn suddenly realizes that if he doesn't stop this second, the urge to slip into Niall's soaking wet hole will become too overwhelming to ignore, so he pries himself off and lies down beside his panting mess of a lover. "Probably shouldn't have gone that far, sorry babe. I'm all yours now."

"So I can still..." Niall wipes the sweat off his forehead with his arm.

"Yeah, come here." Niall climbs on top and Zayn is about to kiss him except... "I can mouthwash if it bothers you." Zayn offers.

In lieu of a response, Niall lowers down and engages him in a lascivious open mouth kiss. He no doubt tastes himself in the process, but he must not mind because he doesn't complain. His shaking hand reaches for the lube on the nightstand, needing three attempts before he successfully flicks the cap open. He then pours way too much on his fingers, most of which ends up on Zayn's stomach. 

"Oh shit, sorry." Niall gracelessly wipes at the oily liquid, only succeeding in spreading it around, coating the hair below Zayn's navel. "Ah I think I'm making it worse."

Zayn can't help but smile at his endearing boyfriend. Like seriously, how is he like this? "Don't worry about the mess babe, we can clean up later." He assures him.

As Niall's fingers head towards his entrance, Zayn's body tenses. This part makes him uneasy; being prodded. The few times he'd done this had been with Louis, and he hadn't really enjoyed it to tell the truth. 

Unfortunately this seems to be no exception. It feels awkward and unpleasant, but he doesn't let his face show it. Niall isn't doing anything wrong, it's not his fault. After a long five minutes of fingering, Niall pulls out and rolls on a condom which...Zayn really wants to take off. He wants to feel him bare, because at least then this might be somewhat enjoyable. Niall catches him staring. "Did I do something wrong?"

_Do the right thing. Let him wear it. Sure you're clean and he's clean but better safe than sorry._

"You don't need the condom babe." Zayn pulls it off and tosses it aside in one swift motion.

_Or not._

To no surprise, Niall doesn't protest. It makes Zayn feel a bit guilty because he's in control of the situation and therefore needs to be the responsible one, but right now Niall is about to put his bare cock inside his ass so it's hard to think about anything else.

Niall positions himself on his forearms over Zayn's body. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." Zayn leans up and connects their lips in a sweet kiss as Niall enters him slowly.

"Am I hurting you?" Niall utters against his lips, his eyes squeezed tight, overwhelmed.

 _Kind of._ "No, you're good." Zayn runs his fingers down Niall's smooth back. "You can move babe it's ok."

Niall begins sliding in and out, and there's not much to it except pain and the knowledge that he's feeling him bare. This is all it's ever been.

_Why do people like this?_

His face must give away more than he intends, because Niall senses it, giving him a look that says 'You're not enjoying this.'

Zayn strokes his lover's cheek gently to try and reassure him, but that doesn't seem to work either and Niall stops. 

"I'm hurting you aren't I?"

 _Yes._ "No love, you're fine."

Niall bites his lip. "Maybe if I..." He leans back and grabs a pillow. "Up." Zayn lifts his back and Niall slides the pillow beneath him, then starts thrusting again, this time adjusting the angle ever so slightly each time until...

"Jesus, fuck!" Suddenly there is radiating warmth coupled with a pressurised pleasure, making Zayn groan uncontrollably. 

_Ok, this is why._

Every thrust feels better than the last. Heat builds in his stomach, an unfamiliar feeling that he quickly grows fond of. "Feels really good now babe." He probably doesn't need to verbalise this as his moans are indication enough.

"Me too, you're really tight, fuck." Niall's movements are steady and purposeful; each time his hips come forward he hits his target dead on. Their angle sets them too far apart to kiss, but they look into each other's eyes and its almost painfully intimate. Being sexually vulnerable is new to Zayn, but this feels damn good. Too good. 

"I'm gonna come!"

It hits him like waves, smashing over his body, one after the other as he comes untouched, gripping onto the sheets. His entire body feels extra receptive to touch, especially as Niall presses against him, trembling as he comes, simultaneously rubbing against Zayn's sensitive chest. He feels Niall slip out, his come dripping out after him. 

Niall makes a move to roll over but Zayn pulls him tight against his messy body, now sporting a concoction of lube and jizz. He feels like crying because that was so overwhelmingly good and unexpected, and the fact that it was Niall that brought him there.

"I've never been able to do that." He confesses, massaging Niall's back lovingly.

Niall looks up at him with a cheeky grin. "I gave you your first butt-gasm?"

"Yes." Zayn laughs because who says that? "And I'm certain that you're the sweetest human being ever." He snuggles him lovingly. "Sorry about the condom, I promise I'm clean."

"It's ok, it felt really good without it." Niall admits.

"Yeah, it did." Zayn agrees. "How were you so good? Like how'd you know about the pillow thing?" 

Niall blushes against Zayn's chest. "I watched some porn, you know like, for pointers."

"Hmm well your research payed off." Zayn muses.

"Can I be honest though?" Niall asks small.

"Of course." Zayn wracks his brain for what could possibly be wrong. "You can tell me anything."

"Like that was really good, don't get me wrong, but I think I like being fucked more than I like doing it. Like we can mix it up and stuff but I'd like to be the "bottom one" most of the time you know? If that's ok..."

"That works for me." Zayn kisses his head, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world.

"Thanks Zayn. I love you so much. I can't believe how far we've come." Niall sighs and closes his eyes.

"I love you more babe, love you forever."


	50. Chapter 50

 

Time seems to slow down as autumn turns into winter. There's only a mild chill in the air, but the holiday buzz is sure to nip at your nose. People become friendlier, spirits are high, and everyone gets lost in the hype of the season. 

Harry takes up jogging, which means Louis also takes up jogging. Brisk morning laps around the park become routine, and once they build up stamina, it's quite a nice way to start the day. 

Halloween comes and goes; a fun time for new couples. Louis and Harry stay in, bingeing on mini chocolate bars and watching what Harry calls 'scary' movies (ie. Beetlejuice and Caspar). They're halfway through The Addam's Family when Harry falls asleep; his tiny boyfriend laying peacefully on top of him. Meanwhile, Zayn and Niall hit the town as Batman and Robin. They dance until the last bar is closed, at which point Batman has to carry Robin's sleepy bum most of the way home. The costumes make a sexy guest appearance the next night. 

Boots and scarves become a wardrobe staple for Harry, who discovers his love for fashion and has soon greatly expanded his wardrobe. Despite mocking him on a regular basis, Louis secretly loves his stylish man. He continues to show Harry the many wonderful parts of L.A., taking him on what he refers to as 'The Tommo Tour'. A hike around Griffith Park, a shopping spree at The Grove, and a day at Venice beach are just the beginning. Not to mention several more trips to Disney. 

November is a big month for Zayn who sells his place and officially moves in with Niall. Honestly it's about damn time. They discuss the purchase of a king sized bed to replace Niall's tiny one, but days pass, and nights are spent cuddling impossibly close, and the idea is soon forgotten. They do open up the old closed off fireplace in the living room (with careful instructions from the internet), and consequentially create a snug and cozy place to spend time. Their evenings consist of fleece throw blankets, Family Guy marathons, takeaway Chinese food and lots of snuggles. Zayn's tough guy reputation is rather annihilated. 

In late November the couples share their first double date. It's a laid back outing at the ice rink in Pershing Square, indicating that despite all that has happened between the four boys, they are able to move past it. As an ode to the season they finish the night off with tea by the fireplace. They talk casually as they sip their earl grey, not a care in the world.

Work is fairly normal; cutting tissues, performing autopsies, the basics. That is until December, a week before Christmas, when they arrive at work to find two strangers sitting in their seats.

"Who are they?" Harry stage whispers, eyeing the two girls. Seeing anyone but themselves at the bench is eerie and unnatural.

"Harry this is Daisy and Charlotte." Louis shakes their hands. "They work here now."

"Nice to meet you ladies." Harry looks skeptical. "Lou can I talk to you for a minute?"

They head back into the hallway. Before Harry can begin his parade of questions, Louis fills him in. 

"I asked Liam to hire a second set of PAs. This way you and I can have more time off. I know I should have ran it by you first but I wanted to surprise you."

Harry thinks for a moment. "What about our pay?"

"There was plenty of room in the budget, he's adjusting our salaries so we won't end up losing much money." Louis explains.

"This is great, what should we do with the extra time off?" Harry seems genuinely happy now. 

"Well I've already planned a little trip for us..." Louis smiles cheekily "If you're ok with it."

Harry cocks his head. "Where?"

"Michigan..."

"Like my Michigan?" Harry confirms. "Ann Arbor?"

"That's the one." Louis folds his arms, smug. 

"Seriously? "Harry's jaw drops. "My mom will be so excited! She's been wanting to come here and see me but her schedule's too busy, oh my god Lou thank you, when do we leave?"

Louis pretends to ponder. "Hmm let's see. It's currently Monday so add twelve, carry the one and...we leave tonight."

\-------------------------------------

Harry sits up in his seat, looking down on the clouds. "I'm getting really nervous."

"You're fine, she's gonna be so excited to see her little angel again."

"It's just such a big moment, seeing her again after all this time."

"I'll be there for you every step of the way love."

The flight attendant arrives at their row with the snack cart. "Would you like to purchase any snacks or beverages today sirs?"

Louis turns to Harry. "Wanna split a sandwich or something?"

"I brought snacks!" Harry pulls out two containers of cut up fruit. See, mangos and pineapples. I've got some veggie crisps in here too somewhere."

"Of course you do." Louis looks back up. "No thank you, my baby brought _snacks_." He intends to sound mocking but it comes out endearing. The woman smiles then continues down the aisle.

"You called me your baby." Harry looks pleased.

"Aren't you?" Louis pops a piece of mango in his mouth. "You chose some sticky foods though I must say."

Harry jets his neck out, fishing for Louis' fingers.

Louis retracts his hand. "None of that. Behave yourself." Harry slumps back down in his seat.

"Wanna watch a movie? We can share my headphones." Louis offers.

"Sure." Harry shuffles closer. "Which one?"

Louis scrolls through the options. "We haven't seen the new Avengers." Harry nods and they start the movie. It's a bit lackluster on the small screen, so naturally Louis gets bored.

"Hazza?"

"Yes Lou?"

"Can I have a kiss?"

"You don't have to ask." Harry pecks him on the lips.

Louis looks up at him fondly. "More."

Harry smiles and leans in for a longer kiss. This ignites something inside of Louis and he casually rests his hand on Harry's knee. It becomes significantly less casual when he starts sliding it up towards his crotch. His gesture goes ignored until he's completely palming him through his jeans, the ones he pestered him about wearing because who wears jeans on a 5 hour flight? Harry Styles does. And right now those jeans are tightening as he grows in Louis' hand. 

Harry finally acknowledges the action, turning to Louis with a scowl. "I think your hand is on my lap sir."

Louis snorts. "I think your cock is in my hand sir."

"How about you keep your hands to yourself then?"

"That's what these little airplane blankets are for, it's a fact." After a bit of fumbling around, Louis gets Harry's belt undone and unzips his fly.

Harry shifts in his seat, giving Louis better access. "I didn't read that in the info brochure."

Louis slips his hand into Harry's pants. "Haven't you ever seen a porno where they do it on a plane? It always starts with some under the blanket action."

"Stop Lou..." Harry warns, but Louis is already stroking him in his pants.

This is by far the most difficult handjob Louis has ever performed, but he's not about to quit. He pulls his hand out long enough to spit into it, then dives back under. 

"Seriously..." Harry is either serious or a good actor, either way Louis isn't stopping.

"Be a good boy and let daddy make you come." He demands in a deep whisper.

Harry continues to struggle, putting one hand on Louis' to try and hold him still. What tells Louis that he's only pretending is that Harry is much stronger and could easily overpower him, yet he's doesn't. 

"You love this don't you baby." Louis provokes him. 

"No...please...." Harry bites his bottom lip. Louis feels precome leak out into his hand, so he starts stroking him faster and harder. Harry's cheeks are bright red and his lip is suffering beneath his teeth; he's falling apart. His stifled moans become less controlled until he finally breaks, his hoarse voice loud enough to be heard three aisles away.

"Daddy!" 

He throws his head back against the seat, his face red with embarrassment. Louis snakes his hand out, careful to avoid the blanket on his way. He examines the pearly white fluid between his fingers for a moment, then brings his hand to Harry's bruised lips. "You made a mess, clean it." He instructs sharply.

Harry doesn't hesitate, taking Louis' fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean. After a solid minute Louis has to pry himself out. "Always so needy for me." To be honest, he's sporting a hard on of his own, but receiving sexual favors in a public place isn't his cup of tea.

Knowing what comes next, he sits up into his seat as tall as possible, and Harry slouches down in his so he's low enough to rest on Louis' shoulder. "Thank you daddy." He mumbles quietly. "I loved that."

"I knew you would." Louis kisses his greasy hair. "Now, about that movie..."


	51. Chapter 51

 

When they exit the airport they find themselves immersed in a sea of white, like a Christmas card come to life. Having never left L.A. in the colder months, Louis finds the whitewashed scenery surreal. Everything is covered in snow; from stretching fields to the narrow tops of fence posts, it's all blanketed in brilliant frost. What a magical winter wonderland.

"It's fucking freezing." Louis huffs, zipping his jacket higher.

"Yeah this is colder than I remember it being." Harry stops to pull his sweater sleeves down over his hands then continues pulling their suitcase along the snowy sidewalk. "There's lots of spare coats and warm clothes at my mom's place so don't worry."

"It's quite late, I hope we don't wake her." Louis switches his phone off of airplane mode, noticing it's after eleven.

Harry lifts their suitcase into the trunk of a cab. "She's a night owl, probably sipping tea and reading a book right now. She's gonna be so surprised to see us."

\------------------------------------------------------------------

When they arrive at Harry's house, it comes as no surprise to Louis that it's the brightest one on the block. Strings of icicle lights accent the awnings, columns and gutters. An big jolly inflatable Santa stands proudly on the lawn, accompanied by several larger-than-life reindeer and an enormous sleigh. To top it off there is a massive, dazzling star fixed atop the roof, as if to guide their passage.

There is a lively presence to the house, characterized by the glow in the windows. It looks welcoming, especially in contrast to the harsh chill outside. As they cross the yard Louis refreshes himself on everything Harry has mentioned about his family. He has an older sister Gemma who was away at University. Louis has chatted with her before through Skype a few times. His parents divorced when he was seven, and his mom Anne remarried a man named Robin who worked night shifts at a factory or something. Harry and his biological father kept in touch through phone chats, and he visited L.A. for a weekend back in November. None of that seemed to fill the hole in Harry's heart, as he was closest with his mom, at least before they'd fallen out.

"This is it." Harry announces, climbing the steps of the porch then stopping to stare blankly ahead.

"You alright Haz?" Louis resists the urge to pound on the door himself before he freezes to death. 

Harry nods. "Yup, I'm good let's do this." He knocks lightly and Louis is about to tell him there's no way she heard that when the door swings open.

"Harry!" Anne is stunned for a moment, then flies out onto the porch, tackling Harry in a hug. And wow, Anne is a vision. Her long dark hair is pulled back, revealing dimples similar to her son's. She'e wearing a simple black top and grey sweats, minimal makeup, and the most genuine smile. She clings to Harry, seemingly refusing to let go. "You're here, I can't believe it! Oh my gosh is this a dream?"

"S'real." Harry struggles to speak in her smothering hug.

Anne finally releases him, giving Louis an almost equally enthusiastic hug, then pulls them both inside. "Come in come in, neither of you are dressed for this weather you must be frozen."

They are suddenly immersed in the snug comfort of Harry's childhood home. If the outside decorations were impressive, the inside is on a whole new level. Every available space is adorned with decorations, creating an array of red and green. Snow globes of all sizes line the mantle, while festive garland lines the walls. A giant nutcracker guards the entrance to the kitchen, while a matching life sized snowman swelters in the corner. None of which compares to the tree; eight feet tall, trimmed top to bottom in delicate glass bulbs. There's tinsel, lights, beads and tacky baubles Harry had made in his youth, crafted from macaroni and glitter. It's over-the-top in the best of ways.

"So mom, this is my boyfriend Louis." Harry points out the obvious.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you sweetheart! Harry never stops talking about you. I must say you're as handsome as he described." Anne compliments.

Louis finds himself blushing. "Well I can see where Hazza gets his good looks." 

"Oh Hazza, I like that." Anne nudges her bashful son. "You boys are in luck because I've just made a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, Harry's favorite." She says excitedly. " Get seated by the fire with a blanket and I'll fetch you some tea. Actually it's the holidays would you rather have cocoa?"

"Cocoa would be perfect." Harry replies, leading Louis to the living room couch.

She must have had some warming on the stove, because Anne is back in under a minute with to large mugs topped with marshmallows. She takes a seat on the chair across from them. "I still can't believe you're here! How long are you staying?"

Harry looks to Louis, realizing he doesn't know the answer.

"As long as you want." Louis says honestly. "Liam's got us covered, I told him we'd let him know once we decided to go back."

Anne appears over the moon. "You'll be here for Christmas then! Oh I'm not prepared for this, I'll need to do some shopping tomorrow. We'll need more food too, I remember how boys eat, and I'll pick up some sweetcorn cause you love that. Louis dear, make me a list of what foods you like so I can stock the fridge."

Louis is rather taken back by the generosity. Zayn's mom is very hospitable, so this isn't an entirely foreign concept, but feeling so cared about by a women he'd met only minutes ago sure was. "I eat the same things as Harry, apart from baked beans." He says, trying to make things simple.

"No baked beans, got it." Anne smiles. "So tell me everything, did you just get here?"

They fill her in on their travels, excluding of course the part where Louis gave Harry a hand job in his seat. Also the part where Harry sucked Louis off in the cramped plane bathroom. Definitely the part where Louis fucked Harry senseless in the airport bathroom stall while they waited for their luggage. Yeah, it was more of a 'and then we ate cut up pineapple and watched Big Hero 6' kind of explanation. 

The conversation turns to Harry's childhood, and before they know what hit them, Anne has the table covered in pictures.

"Here's one of Harry in his little pyjamas, and here's one of his class pictures, the handsome devil. Oh look at this one of him wearing a bra! Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Anne passes Louis photo after photo, smiling fondly at the memories of her son. 

"Oh definitely, he's adorable." Louis replies, caught up in the secondhand nostalgia. Part of him wishes he'd known Harry all his life. He was clearly a very happy child, grinning cheekily in every picture, his big green eyes lit up in excitement. 

"Lou look at this one!" Harry passes over another photo. 

"You're not supposed to be enjoying this, you're supposed to be embarrassed." Louis smiles helplessly, feeling smitten.

Harry catches an endeared side glance from his mom. "Why would I be? You think I'm adorable."

"True." Louis mutters under his breath, still looking at the pictures. 

"When he was this age he carried a little toy dog everywhere he went. We'd go out to eat and we'd have to get a table with an extra seat so it would have a place to sit. Can you guess what he named it?"

"Don't tell me, was it Dog?" Louis purses his lips, holding back a smirk.

Anne laughs. "Oh sweetie he knows you too well!"

Harry leans over to rest his forehead on Louis' shoulder. "He sure does." 

Louis is so, so in love with Harry. 

"Well boys I'm going to turn in." Anne rises from her seat. "Help yourselves to anything in the kitchen, there's more cookies on the counter so don't be shy. I'll make up the bed in the spare room so tomorrow we can at least pretend Louis slept in it ok?"

"Thanks mom, you're the best." Harry stands up to hug her goodnight. Louis decides to follow suit, enjoying the affectionate motherly embrace and the way Anne smells of vanilla and cinnamon.

"Louis it's been such a pleasure meeting you, I can't thank you enough for bringing Harry home for Christmas." Anne regards him warmly. "Love you both, see you at breakfast, goodnight."

"G'night." They reply in unison, sitting back onto the couch, this time much closer together. 

Louis feels warmer and fuzzier than an electric blanket. Between the festive twinkling lights and abundant decorations, the thick aroma of baked goods, the soft instrumental music playing from the TV and the fact that Harry's mom just said she loves them _both_ , it's almost too much to bear. Now he's sitting on a beaten up sofa with the grown up version of the cheery boy from the photos, enjoying the warmth of the electric fireplace and it actually is too much.

"Your mum is lovely, good thing I'm gay or I'd probably fancy her." Louis tries to joke, but he's betrayed by a single tear cascading down his cheek. He gives up and leans his face into Harry's broad shoulder, reflecting on the way they take turns being the strong one.

Harry doesn't have to ask what's got Louis so overwhelmed. He pulls him in close, pressing endless kisses onto his hair, still damp from the melted snow. "This is the best gift anyone's ever given me babe, I don't know you'll ever top it next year."

Louis smiles, feeling the salty tear seep into his lips. "I have time to figure something out." 

They cuddle on the couch for a while, rubbing each other's backs and exchanging loving kisses, surprisingly awake despite the long day they've had. After a while the fireplace goes from wonderfully warm to horribly hot, so they shed the blanket and decide to make their way upstairs. 

Harry is mumbling something about showering when Louis holds up a picture of a young naked Harry sitting in the bathtub. "Look Harry, I found your nudes!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

While Harry rinses off, Louis sneaks out onto the back porch for a quick smoke. One turns into two, and he loses track of time as suddenly his wet-haired boyfriend appears in the doorway, wrapped in a throw blanket.

"Shit." Louis doesn't bother trying to hide the cigarette. "I know this looks bad, I'm not like back at it, it's just one or two when I'm stressed. I'm really sorry."

Harry treads out onto the porch wearing what must be his step dad's work boots, he doesn't look upset. "You're stressed babe?" He wraps the soft blanket around them both.

"A little, this is kind of huge for me. You know um, meeting your mom." Louis wishes he could tell Harry what he's really nervous about, hiding things from him feels so wrong. "I'm fine though, just feeling a little weak."

Harry reaches out his hand. "Give it here."

Louis passes it over solemnly, expecting Harry to chuck it into the snow or something. Instead he flicks away the ash and takes a deep drag.

"Haz! What are you-? Stop!" Louis can't believe his eyes.

Harry exhales smoothly with no response.

Louis blinks in disbelief. "You smoke? What the hell? For how long?"

"I don't smoke, I just have one like, once and a while." Harry shrugs and hands it back. "Only since college, it's not a big deal."

Louis looks at the cigarette like he's just realized it's toxic. "Jesus, look at us." After a moment he tentatively continues smoking.

"Filthy habit really." Harry side eyes him. 

"How could you hide this from me?" Louis demands. "Why'd you think you had to?"

"I didn't want you to look at me differently. I like the way you treat me; protective and gentle, I need that." Harry stares off into the darkness.

"Nothing's gonna change how I look at you." Louis promises. "You'll always be my baby Hazza."

Harry reaches for it again, and this time Louis feeds it to him, holding it carefully between his lips, bright pink from the cold. "We're quitting before we go home. Consider it our New Years resolution." 

Harry blows the smoke out into the crisp nights air. "Yes daddy."

Louis shivers.

"You cold?" Harry leans in and finishes the cigarette as Louis grips it between his shivering fingers.

"Yeah." Louis tosses the butt over the railing. "Let's go warm up in your bed."

\---------------------------------------------------------------

"Good thing your room is far from your mum's. Mine was right across from my Nan's, even with her hearing gone I'm sure she heard me wank." Louis stretches out on Harry's little bed.

"You're very loud, I'm sure she did." Harry teases.

"You're one to talk. _Fuck me daddy! Oh yeah right there, that's sooo good!_ " Louis' imitation is met with a pillow to the face. 

"I don't sound like that!" Harry laughs.

"Yes you do, and I love it. Pretty sure I just gave myself a boner impersonating you." Louis gropes himself over his flannel bottoms. "Confirmed."

" _Yeah take my big cock, you love that don't you baby_." Harry mewles. "That's what you sound like."

Louis chuckles. "How can we stand each other? We're so obnoxious..." He feels up Harry's leg. "...And both hard."

"Can you do me slow tonight Lou? I'm feeling extra emotional and I just want to make love." Harry admits softly.

"Of course baby." Louis carefully removes their bottoms then climbs on top. "You're still stretched from earlier so I'll just ease in gently ok?" He spits on his fingers as graciously as he can manage then applies it to Harry's hole.

"Yes please." Harry says breathlessly.

"I love you Harry." Louis whispers into his ear as he enters him.

He stays true to his word, taking his time. It's silent apart from their synchronized breathing; the bed barely shifting beneath them. 

When they finish, Louis lays down, staying inside of Harry, not slipping out until they've already fallen asleep.


	52. Chapter 52

When Louis wakes up still sprawled on top of Harry, he immediately panics. "Haz? Shit, I'm crushing you." He tries to scramble off, but strong arms keep him held in place.

"Where do you think you're going?" Harry mumbles in his sexy sleepy voice, extra deep and hoarse. He runs his hands down Louis' back, then over his round bum, breathing heavily against his neck. 

A chill runs down Louis' spine, and he instinctively starts rutting against Harry's thigh, grunting softly. He can feel harry pressing back against him. Louis decides to push this further. "You're getting hard for me baby. Want me to take care of you?"

It's fairly ridiculous how quickly their morning has heated up, but they're already too far gone to stop. When it comes to sex, 'the right time and place' has never been part of the deal.

"Yes daddy, make me feel good _please_." Harry gasps as Louis tangles one hand in his hair, tugging on the curls. "Oh, daddy."

With Harry's hair still pulled snug, Louis rests down onto his forearm so his other hand can run up Harry's bare chest. He wonders why he's neglected Harry's perky pink nipples for so long. Using his middle finger he circles one, increasing the tension of his other hand, making Harry yelp. He almost releases him, until he looks up at Harry's face, twisted in pure pleasure. 

"Feels really good." Harry jerks his hips up to rub his thick morning wood against Louis through their flannel bottoms. Louis experimentally flicks the now hard nipple, and Harry hisses. He finally lets his hair go, to a disappointed whine, but Harry is soon content again when Louis shifts down and bites his tattooed chest. Feeling his taller boyfriend writhe on the bed, Louis nips and sucks on both nipples for a while until they're both red and wounded. For a small second he's reminded of the first time he saw Harry shirtless, black and blue from Dan's abuse, but this time they're happy bruises, bruises that have caused both their bottoms to become wet with precum.

"Tell me what you want."

"I want..." 

They'd been extra sexual lately, so it's not a surprise that Harry has to stop and decide. What _is_ a surprise is what he comes up with. 

"Sit on my face, then ride me?"

It comes out as a question, but Louis would never deny his baby, not when he's being so good. He can't believe the things he's about to do in what's clearly a child's bedroom, on dinosaur printed sheets. Despite still occupying this room up until he was a teen, Harry has kept the décor quite juvenile. Toy robots watch as Louis pulls off his sticky pjs and crawls up onto to Harry's face. 

He wants to ask 'are you sure this is ok' but knows better. Harry doesn't want his consideration. So instead Louis sinks onto his eager face without warning, pressing his cheeks down and holding himself there for a careful ten seconds. In those ten seconds a few things happen. The first is the muffled moan Harry emits. The second is Harry's tongue, darting out of his mouth and searching for Louis' hole. The third is Harry's hands, grabbing onto Louis' hips to hold him in place. Louis is fairly certain his submissive partner would pass out before letting go, which is why he smacks his hands away to regain control, then lifts up. 

"Touch me again and you get nothing." Louis warns harshly. Harry obediently drops his hand against the bed. "Good boy."

_Oh but wait..._

"If you want me to stop at any time, tap my leg and I will, I won't get mad." 

Harry nods.

Louis stares down at him, waiting.

"Yes daddy."

_There we go._

Louis rising up has given Harry the opportunity to position his tongue just right, so when he drops back down he feels it slip inside him, warm and wet and so _fucking_ good. He feels Harry wiggle his tongue in circles, pointing it up and down to reach different places. Louis builds up a rhythm of grinding his hips, letting all of his weight rest for a calculated period of time then raising up to let Harry breathe. It turns into a bit of a breath play scene, which is probably why Harry is moaning like a damn banshee. Despite how good it feels, Louis doesn't let himself get lost in the moment. His mind goes to the articles he'd read on breath restriction, and how carefully he must monitor the situation. 

When he senses even the slightest distress from Harry, he instantly removes himself. "Haz, talk to me."

Harry looks like he might cry. "I..."

"Breathe baby, are you ok?" Louis' pulse quickens in his ears.

"M'ok." Harry manages to choke out. "Got really close there, I was worried."

"Close to passing out? Oh my god I'm so sorry, I did everything the internet said! I was counting and didn't go for too long, I watched for your body language... fuck I-"

"Not that, close to coming." Harry clarifies.

"Oh." Louis lets the relief wash over him. "So you're alright? Deep breaths baby, let me hear them."

Harry takes several exaggerated inhales and exhales. "I promise I'm fine. Can you ride me now? I'll try not to come too fast daddy."

Louis smiles, impressed and fascinated. "I think you've earned that." He takes off Harry's tented bottoms and lines up his saliva soaked hole, then slowly eases down. It's a tight fit, having topped for the last few weeks, so the drag is noticeable. Plus Harry is incredibly hung. He's flooded with endorphins though, from what they'd just done, and that aids him in bottoming out. Once he's comfortable, he starts to ride Harry, closing his eyes and bouncing on his cock at the perfect angle. Eventually the pain is replaced by a proliferating heat in his stomach, spreading out to his limbs every time he slams his body down. "You're so big, filling me up so well I can't believe it." He keeps his voice quiet.

Harry has been silent the entire time. His face is flushed and sweaty, turned so he's partially buried in the pillow, and his fists are clenched at his sides. He looks like he's in pain, but Louis knows he's just putting everything he has into not finishing first. Taking pity on him, Louis doesn't hold back when he feels his orgasm build. He pumps himself twice and that's all it takes to come all across Harry's face and chest. An early Christmas gift. "Come baby, come inside daddy now."

Harry moans loud enough for the whole house to hear which, _fuck_. Still though, it's incredibly satisfying for Louis to make his boyfriend come this hard. Harry keeps his hands to himself as he shoots up into Louis' tight body, shaking as he does so.

When they part the liquid drips out of Louis onto the bed, coating a T-Rex in white fluid. It's a bit of a wake up call. That was fairly inappropriate, fucking in Harry's childhood bed with his parents wandering around the house. They waste no time cleaning their mess which involves putting on a fresh set of sheets (how obvious) and taking (sadly separate) showers, then head down for breakfast, hoping it won't be too awkward.

And because it's Anne the forgiving, queen of hospitality, the giver of hugs and baker of cookies, and mother of Harry, it's not awkward at all.

She's clearly been expecting them, as there is an impressive spread covering the kitchen table.

"Good morning boys!" She gives them each a hug and kiss on the cheek. Louis silently prays that Harry cleaned his face off well in the shower.

"You both must be starving, I've made all of Harry's favourite breakfast foods."

It's a wonder Harry isn't 300 pounds the way his mom feeds him. Stacks of pancakes, eggs, sausages, bacon and hash browns sit on display, looking too perfect to be real food. It's a gentle reminder of how long it's been since Harry has visited his mom, as none of these are his favourite breakfast foods anymore. Having decided to be 'healthy as fuck', their fridge back in L.A. is now well stocked with fresh fruits and vegetables. A classic morning meal was usually a bunch of bananas or a fruit and kale smoothie. The amount of grease in this one meal is more than they consume in a week.

Louis can see the hesitation in Harry's eyes, but he quickly shakes it away. "Thanks mom, love you." He sits down and starts piling up a plate with bacon, and honestly it looks a bit wrong.

"Harry!" A large man with glasses strides into the kitchen. "Robin!" Harry abandons his artery clogging mess of a breakfast and hugs him. "Did you just get off work?"

"Yeah your mom texted me saying you were home so I left a bit early." Robin explains.

Harry beams. "That was so nice of you, I'm glad we can all be here together."

The four of them sit down to eat and it feels like the families you see in commercials; a picture perfect spread, a lovely mother pouring glasses of juice, and a loving father peering over a newspaper as they chat. Well it's actually his iPad with a news app open but close enough. Louis notices that he's reading the Los Angeles Times, and wonders if this is routine of just because they're visiting.

There should be birds chirping in the windowsill and a song in the air with how wonderful this morning is, until the moment Robin drops his fork against his plate with a loud clank. "Isn't this the guy?" He holds up his tablet and they're face to face with a mug shot of.... holy shit.

Harry turns white.

Louis who's fork is halfway into his mouth, freezes.

Anne forgets to stop pouring and spills juice onto the frilly white tablecloth.

Nobody knows what to say.

"Man convicted of homicide for killing partner." Robin reads the headline. "Harry isn't this the guy you were dating?"

Harry's mouth opens, but no sound comes out.

"Yeah, that's Dan." Louis comes to his aid.

"Honey can we talk to you alone please?" Ann asks, her tone only slightly off despite how mortified her face looks.

Louis looks at Harry for a moment before realizing that was his cue to leave. It takes everything he has to part himself from his ghost of a boyfriend who clearly needs him right now, but he's not about to disobey Harry's parents, so he goes back upstairs to the bedroom. When he steps inside he's hit with the thick stench of _sex_. He opens the window to let the room air out, then sits down on the bed to wait, pulling open the news article on his phone.

After what feels like ages, he finally hears Harry come up the stairs. "It's cold in here, and it smells like ass and jizz." He notes, sitting down.

"What happened, what did they say?" Louis inspects him, his eyes are red but he's not currently crying.

"Well they were quite upset. Mostly that I didn't come to them about it, which they have the right to be. I used to tell my mom everything, and I want it to be that way again. They asked me a lot of questions and I ended up filling them in with a lot of detail, including the part where you came and saved me that night. They're shocked and hurt, but also very glad that I'm ok now. Oh and they also apologized for asking you to leave."

" _Are_ you ok now?" Louis inches closer.

"Yeah but..." Harry shakes his head. "I feel really guilty. If I had gone to the police..."

Louis interrupts him with a hand on his knee. "I know Hazza, I feel the same way."

"I saw the guy, at the bar that night. He was young and naive and small, and now... fuck." Harry sighs. I just wish I'd done something."

"You can't let this eat away at you, Dan is the one who's guilty not you. You're a victim too." Louis reminds him.

Harry pulls his leg away as if he doesn't deserve the comfort. "A shitty one, I could have used my experience to save a life but instead I did nothing!"

"Laws are complicated, as you said before he would have denied it and there would have been trials and such, he could have still done what he did. You're not responsible for this Harry." Louis tries to catch his eye but Harry won't look at him.

"Should I say something now?" Harry wonders aloud. "Would it do any good?"

"I don't think so, he was convicted of first degree murder and got a life sentence. It's been well taken care of." Louis tries to sound sure when he's not.

"I'll never stop picturing the poor kid's face, so innocent..." Harry rubs his face with his hands.

"This is a really fucked up situation that you've been tangled up in. I'm equally devastated that he was able to take someone's life, but at least he's locked away for good. Now all we can do is move on. I know what it's like to go through horrible things and think they're your fault, trust me." Sadness creeps into Louis' heart.

Harry pauses then finally looks up at him. "You thought the car crash was your fault?"

"I mean it kind of was, I'm the one who insisted they drive me to school." It's Louis' turn to look away. "If I hadn't been so stubborn, we would have stayed home that day."

"Oh Lou..." Harry says brokenly. "It's not like that all. The storm was bad and the roads were slick, that parked car, none of those things had anything to do with you."

Louis nods. "It took me a long time to feel sorry for myself. I thought, why should I? I had a good life, lived with my grandparents until I was able to move out on my own. They paid for my school, supported me like hell until they passed away, even though they were quite old and I'm sure raising me was hard for them. My parents are the ones who got their lives cut short, they're the victims. Eventually I realized that losing my parents was punishment enough, and I had to stop beating myself up about it. Hating myself wasn't going top bring them back, nothing was." He wrinkles his eyebrows in realization. "I'm making this about me, why do I always do that? Fuck Harry, please come here."

Harry hurries into his arms. They instantly feel a little better.

"We're both going to be ok. You will learn to be, I'll show you how. Each day it will get a little easier, and one day you'll discover that you don't think about it as much anymore. I'm here for you Haz, whatever you need I'm here."

"Same." Harry sniffles as he tries to regain his composure.

"I hate seeing you upset." Louis pulls away to turn Harry's face towards him. "Please smile."

"I'm alright." Harry insists. "Robin's gone to bed and my mom left to do some shopping. What do you wanna do for the day?"

Louis shakes off the last of his sadness, and puts on his 'sassy little shit' persona once more. "Oh I expect a proper tour. A good one, of the whole town. I want it to be personalized with all your favourite places; where you ate, hung out, went to school, all that jazz."

Harry smiles genuinely. "You'd better change you clothes then."

"What's wrong with this?" Louis gestures at his skinny jeans and baggy tank top.

"Did you forget it's winter?" Harry rubs his bare arms.

"Oh yeah, shit. Can I borrow a coat?"


	53. Chapter 53

 

Ann Arbour sure is lovely this time of year, with it's handsome buildings and sun kissed snowbanks. Even if it was just a random city they were visiting, it holds enough whimsical charm to make walking around in nose numbing weather enjoyable. Or maybe that's just Louis' assessment, because he's fallen so in love with Harry's world that it feels like he's warm all over. What _makes_ the day is when Harry points out the places that hold meaning to him, and Louis feels like he's traveled back in time to catch a glimpse of the past. It's overwhelming really, but so are most things involving Harry. Louis can't remember a single time he's ever felt bored around him, and doesn't think its even possible, considering the way Harry makes him feel _all_ the time. Honestly, Louis is pretty sure they could be trudging through a giardia infested swamp, with Harry pointing out his favourite used needles and bits of floating garbage, and it would still feel magical.

They exit the bakery that Harry once worked at as a teen, munching on free pastries as Louis takes Harry's hand into his own. It feels weird with mittens on. "Well they absolutely love you."

Harry's blush blends into his already rosy cheeks. "They're just sweet ladies, sweeter than the cookies they bake." 

"So, where to next?" Louis asks with a mouthful of croissant, absolutely buzzing.

"Only a few more big stops on the tour." Harry's eyes twinkle. He seems to be enjoying this just as much, and who wouldn't? Louis kind of wishes he had a quaint little hometown to return to, but seeing as how that's never going to happen, he's content to share Harry's contagious happiness. It's been a long day of walking and the boots Louis borrowed from Robin are several sizes too big, but he has no complaints as they continue their journey up the road. Their next mystery location is soon revealed when a large building comes into view.

"Is this your high school?"

"Yup, this is it." Harry stops walking and stares ahead.

Louis recalls asking to see where Harry 'went to school', but as they approach, the tension in Harry's body is evident. Perhaps along with happiness, Louis has gained the ability to vicariously share his boyfriend's stress, or perhaps it's the way his hand is currently being violently squeezed in Harry's grip.

"Are you sure...do you feel ok?" Louis tries to wiggle his crushed fingers.

"Yeah it's been ages since I was bullied here, I'm in a good place now." Harry finally catches onto his own actions and releases his vice grip. "Oops, sorry."

Louis splays his throbbing fingers across Harry's chest, though they can't see it through his wooly red mitten. "Then guess what Hazza? You're it." With that Louis takes off in a sprint towards the school. His head start only lasts so long, as his legs are shorter and his body is weaker, but Harry doesn't seem to be taking it seriously. "I'm right behind you Lou!" He calls out. "Better go faster little one!" He never does pass him, not as they zig zag through the white pine trees, or cut across the gardens. Louis' lungs fill with frigid air making his breaths sharp and painful, and his ribs have fully healed but the cold seems to draw out their ache again, yet he pushes himself. He doesn't stop running. He'll never stop running. Harry continues to taunt him, yelling 'I'm coming to get you!' and 'I'm catching up!' 

Louis can't wipe the grin off his face, even as he ascends the steps of the front entrance and slams his hand against the door. "Ha! I win!" Gasping for breath, he awaits Harry's snarky reply, but instead he's thrown against the door and kissed relentlessly. "You're so fast." Harry utters against his lips, pressing their hips together. Louis is fully aware that his near hyperventilation is not aided by their current snog fest, but he would rather kiss Harry than breathe. Yup. Pretty much sums up their relationship.

At some point Harry must have slipped off his mittens because his fingers tangle into Louis' hair and pull him in for a deeper kiss. Their saliva threatens to freeze, knees are wobbly from overuse and Louis still hasn't caught his breath, but they can't tear themselves apart. They likely would have frozen to death attached at the lips if it wasn't for a sudden shrill ringing noise that makes Louis nearly jump out of his skin.

"Time for class." Harry smiles at the familiar bell.

Louis runs his hands down Harry's back and squeezes his bum. "We can be a few minutes late."

Harry looks down at him mischievously. "Feeling up a student, this kind of behaviour could get you fired Mr. Tomlinson."

" _Mr. Tomlinson?_ Louis raises an eyebrow, voice laced with arousal. "It's winter break you know, students like yourself shouldn't be at school." Being in a position of power over Harry is such a turn on for Louis.

"Well you see sir, I was hoping I could earn some extra credit. I failed my English midterm and if I don't get at least a B I'll never get accepted to a good collage." Harry whines.

"Let's step inside then and I'll see what I can do for you." Louis pulls at the handle, ready to laugh at the end of their role play, but to their mutual shock the door is unlocked. "Oh." He doesn't hesitate before pulling it open further to go inside, partially because he can feel the tempting heat radiating out of the building, but mostly because this might end in public sex, something Louis has secretly wanted to do for a while.

The hallways are empty, the air is silent and it's quickly concluded that the school is abandoned. "Show me where you sat in class." Louis laces their fingers together, feeling drunk on love and high on life. 

Harry pulls him down several corridors, the layout coming back to him like he'd never left. "The English room is down here, I used to... well I used to avoid that class a little because there were a few not-so-nice people there but now it's just me and the nicest person in the world." Harry professes. 

Louis begins to reflect on how he's definitely not the nicest person in the world, not even close, but he's glad Harry thinks so. He's also glad that he's here to rewrite the memories of these walls, a place that was once a teenage nightmare would soon be remembered for an entirely different reason, a kinky reason...

Then suddenly he is pulled into a classroom. 

As Louis locks the door, Harry removes his coat and scarf and takes a seat at one of the desks in the front row, sitting up straight and attentive, which is Louis' cue to take over. He gets down to his sweater and paces back and forth across the front of the room several times, building the suspense as he decides where he wants this to go. It's quite the opportunity; being alone in a classroom, practically forced to play up the faux teacher-student relationship. The only problem is that Louis has something bigger on his mind for later on, something that Harry cannot be in subspace for, so he needs to mind the line between not enough and too much.

"I don't know why you're here Harry." He begins, stopping in front of Harry's desk. "I've already told you your test mark is final." He says sternly, looking him up and down like he's seeing him for the first time.

Harry sinks down farther into his seat. "But sir-"

"Talking back to a teacher now? You should be ashamed of yourself." Louis scolds. "Don't look at me like that, I'm not your _daddy_ , and I won't take pity on you."

Harry folds his arms against the desk and puts his head down, although Louis catches a small smirk which he ignores. 

"Besides, if I did help you out, what would be in it for me? Hmm? Tell me." He yanks Harry's head up by his hair.

"Whatever you want." Harry gasps out. "Anything sir."

" _Anything_ , well, aren't you a hard-working little student." Louis keeps tugging on his curls until Harry is standing. "Pull down your pants and bend over my desk."

Harry steps out of his skinny jeans down so quickly he trips and has to catch himself on Louis' shoulder.

Laughing is probably the last thing Louis should do, but he's still new at this, and Harry is still adorable, so a small breathy snicker escapes his nose. Harry flashes an embarrassed smile before returning to his 'serious face' and leaning over the metal desk. Louis likes the fact that they can have a brief silly moment without taking away from what they're doing, it eases the pressure of needing to be perfect for Harry. 

He follows him to the desk and needs to stop and catch his breath when he takes in the view. Harry is so damn _breathtaking_. His curls cascade around his face on a stack of papers, some poor teachers lesson plans, and his cock is pressed agains the cool metal desk which is probably uncomfortable, but that only makes it hotter. He's already trembling, and Louis hasn't even touched him yet.

Louis positions himself just right, then winds his hand back as he contemplates the angle. Harry's body tenses as if he expects what's coming, and well, Louis doesn't want to be predictable.

"You think you're getting something from me?" Louis demands. "Why would I spank you if that's what you wanted all along?" 

"Please sir." Harry whimpers, unable to stop himself from begging, but Louis ignores him and just admires the way Harry's legs shake when he's left waiting. He walks around the desk to see his face, and _fuck_ , Harry looks so desperate for it, his eyes silently begging for Louis to do _something_. 

"You're going to help me out instead." Louis decides. "Wet your fingers and get yourself stretched nice and thorough."

Harry brings two fingers to his mouth, and moans around them as he sucks. 

" _Two_?" Louis berates him. "If I'm going to fit inside you darling, you'll need more than two."

Harry slips his ring finger into his lips, and looks up at Louis for approval.

"Better make it four." Louis says casually, picking some lint off his sleeve like he can't be bothered to look. This is of course an act, as the sight of Harry with four of his long fingers shoved deep into his mouth, spit dripping down the corners of his lips, is mesmerizing. "Get on with it now." He instructs, walking back around to catch the back view.

Harry slowly inserts _all four_ saliva soaked fingers into himself at once, wincing then moaning. Louis feels quite proud of his baby.

It's clearly a tight fit, Louis can't imagine going straight for four especially without proper lube, but Harry's a bit of a masochist isn't he. 

"Fuck." Louis says without meaning to. Heat coils in his stomach as he watches Harry take it like a pro. "How does that feel?"

"It..." Harry groans, trying to go deeper but struggling with the angle. "It's not enough. Please, make it feel good sir."

Louis presses on Harry's hand so his fingers stay buried inside, then adds one of his own. He watches Harry open around them both and it's _weird_ feeling other fingers alongside his, but as long as their Harry's it's all good. Once the tight muscle eases into their intrusion, Louis presses in deeper. Five fingers, stretching him beautifully. "You're taking this so well." Louis praises, cautious not to call him 'baby'. "You're amazing." Harry keens at his words, moving his hips back to meet each thrust. 

It's an interesting arrangement; Harry's hand wrapped around his back, opening himself wide as Louis maneuvers around him to try and find his prostate. He pulls his finger out and leans down to spit directly on Harry's hole, then slides in again, easier now. He's able to go deeper but his other fingers are still getting in the way so he...

"Ohhh _fuck_ " Harry must be at his limit now, what with _six_ fingers crammed inside of him. It's so tight that they can't move, but it's _hot_ , seeing him filled to his max, feeling the wet heat and Harry's unsteady hand beside his. It's like a group activity. One that needs to end immediately because Louis is ready to come in his pants like the teenager Harry is pretending to be. 

"M' gonna fuck you now Harry, take your fingers out." They slip themselves out and Harry's hole clenches around nothing, unbearably empty. Louis can't _wait_ to fill him again. He slips off his pants and without warning, shoves his hard leaking cock deep into Harry until his pubes are pressed against his skin.

"Holy _fuck_ Harry that feels incredible." Louis squeezes his hips as he slams into him again and again, closing his eyes in ecstasy. Something about the exhibitionism of having sex in a public place, in a _school_ where they could get somewhat caught at any minute, works for Louis. In fact it works too much, and he's in no mood to hold back, so he comes unseemly fast. When he pulls out he's slow and careful, pressing Harry's cheeks together with his hands until he's done. "Keep it all in, or you're getting an F."

Harry clenches hard, probably biting his lip in concentration as he tries to keep the come inside of his abused hole.

_Now, how to get him off..._

Harry raises his hand.

"Yes?" Louis is glad Harry's back is to him so he can't see his ridiculous grin. So smitten, so proud.

"Make it hurt, _please_." Harry begs.

Louis will always be compelled to give Harry what he wants, no matter what. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's the Dom and who's the Sub when they play. Unless it's something that could put Harry in danger, Louis will literally do anything to please him. He wracks his brain on how to creatively deliver pain, searching his classroom surroundings, then becomes inspired. He retrieves a yardstick from the chalkboard ledge and runs it along his hand, checking for splinters. Harry doesn't turn around to see what's coming next, the trusting soul he is, and goes completely limp.

The first time wood connects with the skin on Harry's perky bum, the _crack_ is loud enough to mask whatever sounds Harry makes and startles Louis so badly he almost drops the stick. A all too familiar panic sets in. "Colour Harry." 

"Green." Harry presses himself harder against the desk, eager for more. "Green sir." 

That's all Louis needs to deliver four more hard whacks onto Harry's right cheek, listening carefully for Harry's cries each time. His alabaster skin quickly becomes striped with red lines, making the left cheek look lonely in comparison, and Louis has an idea. He delivers another horizontal strike on the blank side of his canvas, then makes the next one vertical and a bit to the side. Pleased with himself, he steps back to admire his work. "Oh you're gonna love this." He pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of the bright red L on Harry's bum.

The mark doesn't last, as Louis goes back to striking him until both cheeks are hot and red. They could stay here and play all day, acting out different scenarios in which Mr. Tomlinson punishes his young student, but Louis has other plans and he doesn't want Harry under, nor does he want it to be too dark outside.

"Stay with me Haz." He instructs. "We're almost done."

"Yes sir." Harry mumbles against the desk. He sounds drained and a bit loopy.

"Think you can finish just from this?" Louis strikes him again.

"Yeah I'm close I think I -no I _know_ I can."

"That's a good boy." Louis hits him, this time harder than the rest. "Gonna give you an A+ for how well you're taking this."

Harry moans loudly. "Fuck yes, tell me how good I am."

"You're my star student." Louis lands two more. "Always making your teacher _so_ proud of you."

One last hard strike, and Harry cries out loudly, coming right on the desk. With his spasms Louis' load finally leaks down Harry's thighs, making an awful mess.

Louis pulls out a handful of tissues from the box (thankfully) located on the desk, and cleans him the best he can as he tries to bring Harry down. "You did amazing baby, I can't believe it, you _came_ from me _hitting_ you." He pulls him up from the desk and collects him into his arms. "I love you so much Hazza, so so much." 

"Love you too." Harry smiles sheepishly. "I made a mess though." Louis peers around his shoulder and sure enough there is come all over the side of the desk.

Louis considers making him clean it with is tongue, and normally he would without question, but not today. "Don't worry baby I'll take care of that for you."

Harry nods into his shoulder where he's slumped. "Ok daddy."

The name has never sounded so sweet. 

\-----------------------------

"Here we are." Harry announces. "The final sight of the tour."

"And where exactly is here?" Louis looks around at the vacant park they've stopped at. It's elegantly scenic, the endless untouched snow glistening with the setting sun, and the large snowflakes falling from the sky. It's perfect.

"This is the most special place of all. It's the place I'd come to whenever I was sad or worried, the place I'd come to be alone and think." Harry explains, strolling beside Louis

"What would you think about?" Louis' heart feels like it's going to beat right out of his chest. It's hard to focus on what Harry is saying, but he pushes through the numbing fear to listen. 

Harry shrugs. "You'll make fun of me, you'll say it's cheesy."

"Probably, but tell me anyway." Louis focuses on keeping his voice steady.

"Well... I liked to fantasize about my future, what I hoped it would be like. Mostly I'd think about finding someone. A boy. One to hug and kiss and hold hands with..." He takes Louis' hand. "Which now I have. Basically I thought about falling in love and living happily ever after."

"Well if that's not the perfect introduction then I don't know what is." Louis says as soundly as he can.

"Introduction to what?" Harry stops to look at him.

Still holding Harry's hand, Louis sinks down onto one knee in the cold snow.

He looks up at Harry, snowflakes catching in his long eyelashes, an unstoppable smile spread across his face.

"Hazza."

Harry squeaks.

The speech Louis had prepared and memorized for weeks is suddenly an unretrievable file lost somewhere in the depths of his mind, so he looks into Harry's green eyes and wings it. "Hazza my love, my light, my everything. I know this is fast, like everything we've ever done. It's rushed and it's crazy but...that's the way I love you."

Harry blinks back tears as he smiles down at Louis and waits for him to continue.

"I forget everything else I was supposed to say because this is seriously terrifying but you're smiling at me so I'm hoping that this next bit... well what I'm trying to say...fuck." He just can't get the words out.

Harry doesn't let him struggle any further, he drops to his own knees and for once it's not for sexual purposes. "Louis will you marry me?" 

"Yes!" Louis feels like the word is ripped right out of him. "Wait, no."

"No?" Harry shakes his head, confused.

"I was supposed to ask _you_ , I planned this for ages I, oh!" Louis' face scrunches up as he tries to retrieve the small black box from his jacket pocket. "Harry Styles..." He opens the box to reveal a silver band. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you so much. Will you marry me?"

"I will." Harry pulls off his mitten to expose his ring finger, and Louis slips it on. "It fits."

"Of course it does, didn't you wonder where your peace ring went?" Louis intends to continue but Harry is already tackling him into the snow. 

"I'm engaged! Oh my god!" He smothers Louis with kisses. " _We_ are engaged."

"Shit is that what just happened?" Louis smirks up at him. 

"Shut up, you love me. You want to marry me, oh my god!" It seems to set in a second time for Harry. 

"Course I wanna marry you, I'm the luckiest guy in the world to call you mine." Louis says fondly.

Harry snuggles into Louis' chest. Despite laying in snow, they feel perfectly warm. Snowflakes settle on their bodies and it's starting to get dark, but they couldn't care less because they've got each other and they're the happiest people in the world.


	54. Epilogue 1: The Wedding

Niall pretends to straighten the already perfect lapel of Zayn's tuxedo. They've been doting on each other all morning as they got ready, unable to keep their hands to themselves. Once he's satisfied he looks up into the warm brown eyes watching him, and says what's been on his mind ever since Harry and Louis announced their engagement. "This could be us one day." 

"Yeah?" Zayn forces himself not to grin with the radiance of a thousand suns; gotta play it cool in front of his man.

"I mean, you'd have to ask me first." Niall steps back to properly analyze his boyfriend. 

Zayn feigns ignorance. "Oh is that how it works?" 

"Mhm." Niall closes in on him again to adjust a strand of hair that's fallen from his quiff.

"Maybe I was already planning on it." Zayn bites his lip. Even after all this time, being this close to Niall always puts him on edge.

"Really?" Niall asks so softly Zayn almost misses it.

"Maybe. There's a cute blonde I'm rather fond of." Zayn places his hands on Niall's waist.

Niall rests his forearms on Zayn's shoulders. "He sounds hot."

"Oh he's very hot." They begin to sway to the music coming from Louis' speakers. "He has these blue eyes that'd make your heart skip a beat."

"Tell me more." Niall urges.

Zayn looks up at the ceiling as if to contemplate. "Hmm lets see...He can't eat or drink anything without getting some on his face." He lifts a thumb to smudge away toothpaste from the corner of Niall's mouth. "He likes to cuddle on the porch when it storms, watching the rain." At this, Niall simpers and moves in closer. "He got his first tattoo on a whim, and it may or may not be my name on his right ass cheek...."

"Rumor is he was drunk for that." Niall points out.

Zayn cocks his head. "Does he regret it?"

"No he does not." Niall admits.

Zayn smiles triumphantly. "And finally... I'm head over heels in love with him."

"I think he'd tell you it's mutual." Niall whispers, leaning in.

It begins slowly at first, their lips gently brushing, the rate of their breaths increasing as they hold each other tighter, but before long it develops into more. Niall slips his tongue into Zayn's mouth eliciting a moan, and soon their hands are everywhere, kissing fervently as if they're starving for it. This has been happening all morning, hence the fact they still aren't ready. 

"You're creasing your shirts, get off each other." Liam scolds, having apparently walked in on their snogging session.

Zayn sighs into Niall's mouth before prying himself off and turning to Liam. "Want some?" He puckers his lips playfully.

To everyone's surprise, Liam leans in and kisses him, one wet lingering peck right on the lips. Zayn turns bright red, while Niall looks ready to pounce.

"Huh, so that's what that feels like." Liam licks his lips casually.

"What the hell man, you just fucking kissed me!" Zayn yells, caught off guard.

Liam reaches out to flatten the creases on Zayn's shirt. "What's the big deal? You offered."

"I was joking." Zayn bats his hands away angrily.

"Whoops my bad." Liam shrugs.

"You're married! Remember? The band played 'Thinking out Loud', we ate cake, Cheryl looked lovely as ever..." Zayn rants frantically.

"Relax Z." Liam gives his scruffy cheek a light smack. "Twas just an experiment." 

"Well warn a guy next time..." Zayn mutters, wiping his lips on the back of his hand as Liam rolls his eyes and returns to whatever he'd been doing in the other room.

Niall begins to follow him then reconsiders. "I wanna hit him, should I hit him?"

"I wouldn't advise it." Zayn disproves. "He's got some muscle on you, plus I don't think he's trying to steal me away, he's just a knobhead."

"But he kissed my boyfriend, I'm angry." Niall pouts.

Zayn pulls him in and kisses him hard. Having a recent comparison, he notices that Niall's lips are softer, and his face is smoother. Unlike Liam who wears pricey cologne, Niall smells like Axe body spray. It's familiar and wonderful and _everything_ Zayn will ever need. "There." His voice is deeper as he breaks the kiss. "Now you're the last person my lips have touched, as it always should be."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Louis stands in front of Harry, their hands interlocked for comfort as the officiant talks about love and commitment. He's not really hearing the words though, too mesmerized by the twinkle in Harry's eyes as he stares back.  


Strands of old fashioned bulbs illuminate the evening sky (Harry's request) as an instrumental version of The Fray's 'You Found Me' plays peacefully in the background (Louis' request). The lyrics were a touch too sad for the ceremony, but truth be told they capture a turning point for the boys' relationship.  


_Lost and insecure_  
_You found me, you found me..._

The formalities are kept simple, fitting for the small crowd of guests; Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Harry's family sit on weathered folding chairs, the slightly overgrown blades of grass tickling their ankles as they watch with warm smiles as Louis and Harry commit themselves to each other.  


"Tonight we are here to celebrate love, and I can honestly say that I have never seen two people more deeply in love than the two gentlemen in front of me. It has been an honor to officiate your ceremony this evening. By the powers vested in me and by the state of California, I now pronounce you married. You man now kiss your husband."

With enormous grins on their faces, Louis and Harry share their first kiss as a married couple. It's clumsy at first, too much teeth and giddiness, but then Louis wraps his arms around his husband's body and pulls him in close, feeling his body relax as it always does when they embrace. 

"I love you Louis." Harry whispers, quiet so nobody else can hear. "You're my everything."

"And you're mine." Louis can't stop smiling, aware that his squinty eyed grin will be present in every picture Anne is snapping. "I love you Harry, my husband."


End file.
